Two Steps Back
by Sigart
Summary: -Formerly Take Me Back- Cloud is brought back in time against his will to save Aeris, the last of the Ancients, and thus the last caretaker of the planet. However how will he save the planet, when he doesn't remember anything?
1. Prologue

Yeah. I know. This has been done so many times, you stopped counting, but... but I just so love the thought of another chance, yanno? Also... I think I've got a new spin on things (just a little) because I have yet to find a finished one of these and... argh, I would love to ramble on about this, but I'll end up giving more away than you're supposed to know right now.

"Take me back" is a _very _tentative title. (If you have other not-quite-so-lame suggestions, feel free to send it!)

* * *

Cloud Strife, twice saviour of the world, three times slayer of Sephiroth (did that make him three times saviour of the world?), once test subject, and now delivery boy extraordinaire fiddled with the screwdriver in his hand, wondering faintly if the slightly smaller one in his mouth would fit better, but discarded the notion almost as soon as it popped up. Figures though. That the one time he didn't want to be late was the one time Fenrir broke down. Well, not broke down as such, just... started making an odd scraping sound that hadn't been there before and which turned out under inspection to be caused by a joint, which had inexplicably gotten loose.

He wondered faintly if he could risk taking it home to Tifa before repairing it but discarded that notion too. The joint was too close to the gears and if it hit one of this the whole thing would stop working entirely. As it was, he would probably not even have noticed before it was too late if not for his enhanced hearing.

He grimaced and started screwing again. How had this particular screw managed to get rusty anyway? That was supposed to be impossible! The man who sold it to him had _guaranteed_ that everything on the bike was top of the notch. Figures the only thing that wasn't was a screw that fastened a joint extremely close to some of the most sensitive parts.

Suddenly he grinned, then started laughing. He had come so far, from the pathetic mess he had been a scant few years ago, that now his biggest trouble was a broken down bike. The mirth subsided until it was present only as a wry smile as he found an old rag in his tool box and bound it around the joint to avoid it bouncing any more. It also meant he couldn't drive. The presence of fabric that close to the motor would start a fire and he really did love his ride.

He could probably force the screw, with his enhanced strength it would be a piece of cake, but the likelihood that he would break the screw or the screwdriver was more risk than he cared to take. He sighed. He had a long trek home, probably wouldn't be there until tomorrow, especially considering the amount of monsters that'd see how slow he moved and figure him easy prey. Tifa would be mad at him coming home smelling of monster guts. He grinned again at how problematic his life had become. But it was normal problems. He wondered how many people were grateful to their problems. Not many, he was willing to bet.

He fished his cell out of his pocket, hoping the signal was strong enough. He pressed the speed dial to Seventh Heaven, knowing Tifa or one of the kids would be there.

"Hey Denzel! Yeah, it's me. No, I don't want to sell you something, I just... No, I'm not... what?! No Denzel, I won't.. Dammit, kid, just give me Tifa!" What in the world were they showing on TV lately? Or maybe Denzel was just... yeah, he would, wouldn't he? Cloud sighed, wondering if he had been equally aggravating when he entered puberty. He didn't remember any such thing, he had always been the polite, quiet type. He grinned again when he realized that his adoptive, he hesitated to think of him as 'son' but that was essentially what it came down to, had been quiet and timid not too long ago. Obviously there was more than one orphan, who was healing.

"Hey Tifa. Mh, no I'm okay... Yeah... Fenrir's broke though... Mh-hm, no, nothing major, but I can't fix it here.. Yeah, I need parts." No mention that the 'part' he needed was a fucking screw. "Gotta drag it home, I'm sorry. I probably won't be home until tomorrow... I'll be _fine_, by the Planet, if I can slay Sephiroth, there doesn't exist a monster on this planet I can't fell... Yes. You are... Thanks though." He grinned. "Also, can you check what Denzel's been watching on TV lately? ...Yeah, he made a very disturbing observation before. ...Yeah, I will, later!"

Standing alone with a broke bike, stranded in the niddle of nowhere, Cloud stretched. Life was _good_.

- - -

"No. We can't ask that of him!"

_**Sense of survival. Protection-protective. Need. Perception of threat. Perception of protection.**_

"He's just healing! Please, he went through so much already. Let him have peace."

_**The need to survive. Protection-protective. Urgency.**_

"But..."

_**The sense of loss. The sense of death-sickness.**_

"I know but... there must be another way!"

_**Protection-protective. Urgency. Love.**_

She would have swallowed if she had had a physical form. How do you argue with _love_? "Okay... I'll... I'll tell him." _I'm so sorry Cloud._

_- - -  
_

Cloud threw another branch on the fire he had created. Not that he needed it. He was by far the most dangerous predator in these lands, which he had proven no less than seven times since his bike broke in the afternoon. Tifa would have his hide for the state his clothes were in. Well, he smirked, Tifa could do some thoroughly _enjoyable_ things with his hide, so he couldn't claim he much minded that.

He leaned backwards and stretched self-satisfactorily, placing his hands behind his head and looking up at the numerous stars. The moon had yet to rise and there was not a cloud to be seen. He refused to make a joke on his own name, but only barely, enjoying the stunning view, reminded of so many years ago when he had been looking at the same sky with Tifa, promising her to be a hero and to save her. Well, he hadn't made it into SOLDIER, but in the end that hadn't made all that much of a difference.

The night was chilly, but not more than he could handle, when a sudden gust of wind snuffed out the fire. Cloud sat up. Wind had to be extraordinarily strong to snuff out a real fire and no gust should be able to do it that easily. He picked up his sword, lying beside him in case he was attacked and looked around, testing for smell or sound to give away whichever monster it was that didn't like light. He should have been able to sense it long before it could magick away his fire, but he could speculate about that later.

The night was empty, still. Too still. Like every critter and insect had suddenly found other places to be than within earshot of him. Or whatever it was that thought it could hunt him. He smirked. When was the last time he had had a real challenge?

A pale light at his back made him spin in a crouch, prepared to be attacked and to counter it when his eyes fell on the glowing form of Aeris. He stumbled.

She couldn't hold back a chuckle at the World's Greatest Warrior stumbling at her feet.

"Aeris?" His voice was jut slightly breathless. Not like he had been out of breath but more... like there was just a bit of reverence in it. She swallowed, hoping maybe that would make it easier for him. Hoping he would agree. It would break her heart if he refused. He didn't get the option to refuse.

"Hi Cloud," she said gently, trying to dredge up a smile for him, knowing she was unsuccessful. Knowing that her trying and failing was what made him tense so.

"Is something wrong?" And there she had it, the perfect excuse to just tell him, to not have to beat around the bush and get increasingly guilty as she learned how well his life was going.

"The... the planet is dying." She barely managed it, knew that if it wasn't for his enhanced hearing, he wouldn't have caught it and she would have had to repeat it. She couldn't bear that.

"What?" He asked anyway, probably already knowing what it meant that the planet was dying, what it meant for him, the hero, the eternal champion.

"I'm so sorry, Cloud. The... the planet says that without a living ancient it's... it's gonna wither."

"Without..." His eyes flickered back to her face in a moment of clarity. "You were the last living ancient." He wondered what he was doing with that statement. They both knew. She wondered if he was beginning to have an inkling what that meant.

"The planet is going to send you back in time... in time to save me."

"What? How can it.. no, that can't... Will I be able to come back?"

She shook her head, no.

"Aeris," he said suddenly, urgently. "I can't. I can't leave here I... I don't even know how it would work but.. I have to.. to stay here, I... Tifa's waiting for me and..."

"I'm sorry, Cloud, I'm so, so sorry. The Planet won't give you a choice."

"But... but I have to stay here! Denzel... Denzel's growing up and.. you should see him, the girls are beginning to cast him looks! He's prancing like a peacock. Doesn't have eyes for anyone but Marlene but still... and Marlene is gonna be so beautiful when she grows up! She and Tifa.. they're giggling a lot lately and she's always bugging either one of us to go buy her clothes or... or other girl things and... Life, Aeris, I can't leave!"

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I really am, but..." She was fighting not to start crying.

"Tifa's pregnant." His voice was pleading, his eyes even more so. She collapsed to the ground, giving in to her sobs. "S-she... won't tell me, I think she's afraid I'll react badly to it, but I-I can feel it. Hear it... something. I just know. Aeris, please, I can't. There has to be another way! Please, Aeris, there has to..."

She shook her head, barely able to speak through sobs and hiccups. "I-it's already... too late..."

Her words had barely left her quivering lips before he felt a peculiar feeling of weightlessness permeate his body. No, not his body he decided. His mind. He was being detached. He tried to swallow, but he no longer had a throat. He wondered, feeling more than a little unhinged, how he could feel dry-mouthed without a mouth.

Life stream was rising through the ground, blinding him an making him see farther than he ever had before. It was then that he found out that he could fight, even without a body, and he did. Tooth and nail he fought to keep himself where he belonged. Where he was supposed to be. Where his _family_ was and expected him. He fought, throwing every single speck of stubborn Nibel blood into the fight.

"No! Cloud, if... something could go wrong! Cloud! Stop fighting! CLOUD!" But Aeris' pleas fell on ears already consumed by the sheer will to be who he was. He had a life! He had a family! He had defeated Sephiroth once to avenge them and twice to keep them. There was no way he was going stop fighting now.

"I found peace, damnit!" He tried to scream it at the overwhelming will pressing him... back. _No!_ He couldn't lose all that. Couldn't lose everything. _Not again._ And so he continued fighting, feeling himself torn down little by a little, but not caring because the overwhelming will was starting to send signals like panic and urgency and it almost felt like he was winning.

Then the last wisp of self evaporated.

* * *

Sooo! Reviews will bring cyber cookies! The good ones! With orange-chocolate flavour. Mmmh, yummeh.

I'll also answer any questions posed. Or well... I'll try to.


	2. Chapter 1

Thank you so much to my three wonderful reviewers! It's your fault that I got this done so fast!

* * *

Cloud woke up, feeling like cotton had been stuffed into all five of his major senses. He coughed and someone put a hand under his shoulders to help him sit. Through bleary eyes, he glimpsed a white coat attached to the arm under his shoulder. _Enemy!_ His mind screamed. Panic surged. The white coat was huge and looming. He rolled away, knowing that if he didn't _run, run, run_ pain would follow, searing and scarring and uncaring.

He landed in a heap on the floor, not having noticed that he had been in a bed until then, tugged under covers now tangled around his legs preventing his escape. He moaned in fright as the white coat, man in a white coat he noticed eyes slowly focusing, leaned down towards him.

"Hm. I didn't know your son had a fear of doctors, Mrs. Strife?" The voice didn't seem hostile, but you couldn't trust that.

"No, I've never seen him react like this. The last time you treated him, he didn't seem to mind... Is... Is he gonna be alright?"

"I assure you, Mrs. Strife," the man said, walking away. "I'll do my best. It could simply be disorientation, but for now I'd rather not scare him needlessly. Why don't you try to calm him down?" The male voice disappeared behind a door and Cloud slowly began to relax.

A woman moved into his line of sight. She was wearing a skirt in a dark, earthy colour and a blouse in a much lighter shade, if not quite white. "Cloud dear, how are you?"

Cloud eyed her kind, blue eyes, the hair in a loose ponytail, the line of her chin and the turn of her mouth. "Mum!" He yelled, throwing himself into her embrace, breathing in her scent of wood and home-made bakery. He had missed that scent. ...Hadn't he?

"Oh, Cloud. I'm so glad you're alright!" And she pressed her lips to the top of his hair, her arms around him was like a vice, like she never meant to let him go again. Not that his own, barely reaching around her wait were any less tight. "When they said you had had an accident, that you had somehow fallen from the old well, I feared the worst!"

They sat like that, both clinging to the other for the next few minutes until the doctor returned through the back door, putting his now discarded coat over the back of a chair. He smiled at the display, mother and son all but oblivious to his presence. Just as it should be, really. He coughed discretely, not wanting to interrupt, but the kid had acquired quite a possibly serious head injury and he needed to check him now that he was conscious.

The boy looked up, his huge blue eyes catching the doctor's before he tilted his head to the side. "You're not scary," he said, sounding curious and fingering the bandage covering his temples, as though he hadn't noticed it before.

The doctor barked a laugh. "No, I should hope not, kiddo, or I'm in the wrong profession." Good to know that he could avoid the panic attack just by removing the white coat.

A tiny little nose wrinkled in disgust. His wife would have probably swooned at the absolutely too cute gesture when the kid replied disgruntedly. "I'm not a kid."

The man had to blink a little at that. Well, he was used to get that response from teenagers but from five-year-olds? That was new.

"Now, now, Cloud, don't be rude to the doctor," his mother interjected, before she picked him up and placed him back in his bed. "I'm sorry, doctor." She gave him a kind smile, smoothing back the unruly locks her son's hair consisted of. The son who had blinked in surprise when he was lifted.

"Well, Mr., you had quite the unlucky collision with the ground not too long ago." He had been unconscious no more than 15 minutes, which was perfectly normal, considering. "I need to check some thing, okay?" The kid nodded and the doctor fished a small light out of his bag. "Look into the light, please." He checked the boy's pupils, noting how the boy flinched at the light, however his pupils reacted normally. "Are you in any pain?"

"My head hurts a bit and it feels like my ears and nose has been stuffed with cotton." And like someone had put a wall of opaque glass in front of his eyes, but he didn't want his mum to worry.

"Mh, to be expected. What's the last thing you remember?"

The boy opened his mouth to answer, then snapped it shut, his eyebrows coming down in a frown. "I... I don't know."

The man didn't show how unnerving it was that the boy seemed to remember nothing, simply continued his line of questions. "Do you know what day it is today?" A shake of the head. "Ah, then I can tell you it's Tuesday, April 2nd. What day's your birthday?"

"August 11th." Good, prompt response.

"Who's your best friend?"

At this he hesitated, casting a look at his mother before answering. "Tifa Lockhart."

"What's your favourite food?"

Another look at his mother, who smiled encouragingly. "Uh.. all sortsa things. I like mom's pies, especially the raspberry one."

A quick enquiring look to his mother, who nodded, smiling. "He'll eat anything you put in front of him. Truly he should be about twice his size considering his appetite."

"He's a growing boy, it's only natural. Hey, can you write your name on this?" The clipboard and pen looked too big for the small boy, but he nodded and dutifully wrote his name. His full name no less and in a surprisingly even hand to boot. How unusual for a five-year-old. "Well. You seem to have a slight concussion and a case of amnesia, but I wouldn't be too worried, you remember the important things, right?" The boy simply nodded. "The memories will come back on their own, but you need to stay in bed for a couple of days, okay? Until your head stops hurting completely."

He turned, motioning to a frowning Mrs. Strife to follow him. They left the boy tentatively testing a bandage on his elbow. Closing the Strifes' front door behind him, doctor Morris found himself blinking in the sharp sunlight.

"Is he gonna be alright?" Mrs. Strife asked, before he could even open his mouth. He smiled reassuringly back at her.

"Yeah. Children of that age can bounce back from almost anything. As I said, his memories are gonna come back on their own, little by a little, I didn't want to pressure him and I don't think it's a good idea if you do it either. It's only gonna frighten him. Aside from the head injury he's got a few cuts and bruises, but nothing major. Just keep the scrapes clean. It's probably not possible to keep him in bed for two days, but just keep him there as long as you can."

She nodded, a faraway look in her eyes. "I didn't know that he could write yet."

He had to blink at that. "Please give me a call if there're any complications."

- - -

Astrid Strife had surprisingly little trouble keeping her son in his bed the first day (but then maybe that had something to do with the raspberry pie she baked). Around noon on the second day though, he got up from his bed and levelled her with a serious look that told her everything she needed to know about whether she'd be able to keep him down any longer.

"My head stopped hurting." She frowned, trying to see if he was in any way lying to her or being evasive. His eyes were clear though, not a hint of pain showing through.

"Okay. Just... what _were_ you thinking yesterday?" He averted his eyes then, biting his lips instead of answering. "You still don't remember?" He shook his head dejectedly and she sighed kneeling down to look him in the eyes. "It's okay, dear, if you don't remember, then you don't remember, but please be careful, alright? I don't like when you you get hurt."

"Okay, mum."

She ruffled his hair affectionately. "Now go play." He gave her a quick hug, then dashed out the door. She frowned after him, wondering when he had become so affectionate.

- - -

Tifa and her friends were playing war, happily slinging mud at each other when he arrived. There might have been some kind of point system in the beginning and maybe there had been teams but now it was a free for all battle royale about who could get the most mud on everyone else.

Cloud hesitated at the edge of the battlefield, certain that his mother would be disappointed if he joined. But... It looked so fun!

"Uhm... guys? Can I play too?" Desperately trying not to let them know how insecure he was, but unable to stop shifting his weight, he peered at them through his bangs.

Tifa opened her mouth to answer, but was beaten by Wel. "No," he stated rudely. "You're all clean and it would be unfair 'cause we're already all muddy."

Cloud frowned, wondering if there wasn't some hole in that argument. It wasn't like he would be clean forever. His frown was met with the hostile stare of all three boys, while Tifa looked decidedly indecisive. "Oh, okay, I'll just watch then." For some reason he really, really, really didn't want to leave Tifa alone.

That was to set an example for his interaction with the group for several years. Whenever Cloud asked if he could join the game, either Wel, Dan or Meiday would refuse him, using bad excuses or just doing it for the fun of it. Meanwhile, Tifa would frown, look insecure, and not say anything. The whole thing rankled Cloud, because she was his best friend! Why was he suddenly not allowed to play with her? Besides, Tifa looking insecure was just _wrong_. In the end he stopped asking and just observed them from afar or from behind a hiding place.

That is, it set an example until Tifa's mother died.

When she died they held a funeral procession, but Tifa wasn't in it. Grief stricken she had stayed home, refusing to go out or acknowledge any consolation her father tried to offer. In the end he had been forced to agree to let her stay home if he didn't want to drag her with him kicking and screaming.

Cloud stayed behind as well. He had liked Mrs. Lockhart. You couldn't not like her, she always had an extra cookie for you and an extra hug or a band-aid. She was just a very lovable woman. Tifa had adored her, of course. And it was Tifa that had Cloud worried about. He understood death, couldn't remember a time when he didn't. Of course, he still didn't remember anything from before his fall from the well, so that might be it, but... He had heard Meiday's mother explain to him, that Tifas mother had gone on a long journey. In Cloud's not so humble opinion, that was a stupid way of saying it. Death was death, you couldn't make it pretty and trying just dragged out the pain.

He had to wonder if his own mother ever had tried explaining his father's death in such a way, but he couldn't imagine her doing that. She was too sensible.

So, worried about Tifa, he had stayed behind, wondering if he could get her to speak with him. Crying helped. If he could get her to cry and be there for her, maybe she wouldn't feel so sad. He was standing in front of her front door, wondering how best to approach her, when he heard the back door open and close.

Nobody but Tifa was home. It could only mean one thing; Tifa had left. As fast as his legs could carry him, he ran to the other side of the house just in time to see Tifa disappear around the corner of the neighbouring house, his own house his mind supplied unhelpfully. Why was she leaving her house? Her father had given up on getting her to even leave her _room._

The blonde followed his younger neighbour around the corner and towards... Shinra mansion? What in the world could she be doing at that old, dilapidated ruin? Well, it was still standing, but Cloud suspected it was sheer luck it hadn't caved in on itself already.

No, he found, when she ran past the mansion too, she really didn't have anything to do at the old, oversized house. Instead she seemed to be headed to... Oh, no! The Nibel mountains. Cloud shuddered. Every child in the village had been told numerous horror stories about travellers, who had gotten lost in the labyrinthine trails or attacked by Nibel wolves or simply fallen and gotten stuck, calling fruitlessly for help until they died of thirst. Why were Tifa headed _there_?

He followed her, staying out of sight as best he could, considering he was still eight. But then, Tifa was nine months younger and she didn't seem to take notice, even when his blond spikes caught the sun and blazed golden in the way only light hair does.

He followed her for a long time, the entire time praying that no Nibel wolf would see them, two children, alone, defenceless and exposed, at the same time he was mulling over the best way to approach her.

He followed her at a distance all the way until they arrived at the old suspension bridge. When she took the first step onto the old, half-rotten boards, he had a sudden terrible vision of the rope snapping and the bridge falling, falling with Tifa's screams ringing in his ears.

"Tifa!" He yelled, running to catch up. There was barely a pause in her step as she looked back, seeing who had followed her all this way, before she continued. "Tifa! Don't step onto the bridge! It's dangerous!" But she was doing her best to ignore him, continuing her careful steps. He stood there, tripping, shifting his weight from side to side while the bridge groaned and whined as the wind and Tifa's slight weight pulled on it.

He swallowed. He had to get Tifa back, but if he stepped onto the bridge, it might be even worse. Casting his eyes around for a solution, he suddenly saw a spot where the rope was rotting away. That decided it for him and he sprinted as fast as he dared after Tifa, latched onto her arms and began dragging her back. She resisted of course, but fright made him strong and she hadn't gotten that far. A scant few meters from safety they both heard the distinctive sound of rope fibres snapping over the sound of the wind and Tifa very nearly pushed the other child the rest of the way.

They stumbled as soon as their feet hit solid ground, landing in a heap, both of them not caring as they observed how the wind pulled at the bridge, causing the last few fibres to snap. They looked on in horror as the bridge fell, almost lazily hitting against the cliff on the other side of the ravine.

They swallowed simultaneously, neither daring to look down at how far they would have fallen.

The first to catch herself, Tifa turned to Cloud, eyes blazing. "What in the world did you think you were _doing_?"

"Huh?" was the intelligent reply.

"If you hadn't randomly run after me, it would've been fine! The bridge would never have collapsed under just my weight."

"If I hadn't run after you, you would be lying down there now! Dead!"

"No, I wouldn't!"

"Yes, you would! That bridge would have fallen if you logged a stone at it!"

"Don't be stupid."

"I'm not. How much do you think I weigh?! And stop acting like you're older than me, you only just turned eight."

"You're only eight too!"

"But I turn nine in less than a month," he replied smugly.

She stuck out her tongue at him, but he didn't allow himself to be provoked and they lapsed into silence. A wolf howled in the distance and they both started, but the howl was far away an not taken up by any other predators.

"We.. we should probably get off the mountain. The burial must be finished by now and your father's probably worried." Cloud stood.

She didn't make a move to do as he had suggested. Instead, she pulled her knees to her chest and put her arms around them. "I miss my mum." He nodded, not knowing what to reply to that, but since he wanted to show her his sympathy he sat back down, close enough to touch but not crowding her. "Why... why did she have to die?" her pleading eyes turned to him and he bit his lip, trying to put his thoughts in order.

"I... don't think there's a why. Sometimes, people just die and you feel guilty and sad, you wonder if maybe if you had done something different, then maybe they didn't have to die, but... there really isn't anything you could have done. And blaming yourself... It just makes you even more unhappy and I'm sure your mum would have wanted you to be happy." He gave her a wan smile. Encouraging but not patronizing and not cheery.

"Can... She can't come back, can she?"

"No. I'm sorry." She nodded, her lower lip quivering. "If..." He swallowed, gathering courage. "If you want to cry, that's okay too. Sometimes it helps."

Her eyes filled with tears almost as soon as he mentioned the word cry. Cursing silently, he put his arm around her trembling shoulders. "Did..." her voice was shaky and she was interrupted by a sudden hiccough. "Did you cry... when you f-father died?"

"I don't know," he answered honestly. "I don't remember anything from before I was five. I was probably too little to understand anyway." He hesitated, she needed to let go. "I think I would cry if my mother died though."

That opened the flood gates and she started sobbing, burying her face against his slim chest. He tried not to grimace, knowing he had to sacrifice his shirt to whatever bodily fluids Tifa would leak. Ugh. Then again, he thought, placing his other arm around her as well, it was worth it if it made her feel better.

The cold, insisting wind had made his fingers lose feeling by the time Tifa's crying finally subsided and she lifted her head. She wiped her eyes, red from crying, then magically fished a pack of paper tissues from one of her pockets to blow her nose with. Eyeing Cloud's ruined shirt, she couldn't help the sudden laugh when Cloud followed and grimaced at the mess.

"I'm sorry." She really tried to sound apologetic, but somehow mirth was predominant.

"It's fine. My mum won't mind washing it. Say something about purpose and sacrifice or something."

"Oh." Tifa tilted her head, suddenly reminded of something. "Why can't you remember anything from before you was five?"

There was a few moments of silence, in which the blonde eyed her, head tilted to one side.

"I fell and hit my head. When I woke up I had amnesia."

"Wow, so you couldn't remember anything?"

"No, I could remember my name, my birthday, my mum, favourite food..." he hesitated. "You." He had to suppress a grin as she blushed slightly. "Things like that. But everything else was.. just gone. I didn't know what I had been doing. Ever. I didn't even remember how old I was."

"Really? But you said you remembered your birthday."

"Yeah, I just didn't know how long it had been since my birthday."

"Wooow, wicked."

The impressed outburst prompted a raised eyebrow and a wry grin. "If I'd known you were gonna be so amazed at my forgetfulness, I'd have told you sooner." He got up and reached a hand down to her, smiling. "Come on. We really gotta get off this mountain. It's too dangerous to stay and we wouldn't wanna be caught out when it gets dark."

They made their way down slowly, both of them stiff from the cold. Even in summer, it was pretty cold in the mountains. Despite Tifa wanting to get down fast to avoid any possible monsters, Cloud really didn't want any of them to fall and break something, especially considering that it _was_ getting dark and neither of them were strong enough to carry the other the rest of the way down without risking even more severe injuries.

About halfway down, Tifa suddenly broke into a run. "Daddy!" She called excitedly and ran into the arms of her father, who easily picked her up an hugged her close.

"Oh, Life Tifa, don't ever scare me like that again, you hear? I already lost Maddie, if I lost you too... Tifa, I don't know what I would do."

"I'm sorry, Daddy." He ruffled her hair, resulting in a squeaked "Daddyy!" before he turned to Cloud with suddenly cold eyes. Cloud shifted his weight, wondering at the sudden hostility emanating from the adult.

"Why did you take her up in the mountains. I thought you'd know how dangerous it is, it's no place for children!"

"Wha'...? But, I di-..." Stopping mid-sentence, he cast a helpless look at Tifa. Tifa had gone on her own, but he didn't want her to get scolded, not when she had just been crying because she lost her mother. He swallowed. He would have to take the blame for this, no matter how little he might like it, he had to, to spare Tifa...

His thought process was suddenly interrupted by an offended squawk, coming from the sole female in the small party. "That wasn't how it happened at all! In fact... in fact, Cloud saved me when the bridge fell, 'cause if he hadn't dragged me back I would have fallen too and it was my own idea to go to the mountain and Cloud just followed 'cause he was worried 'bout me, and you really shouldn't be mad at Cloud 'cause Cloud's the bestest friend ever and he understands everything!" She took a deep breath. Both males blinked in astonishment.

Cloud's thought process had ground to a complete halt at the 'bestest friend ever' a warm and tender feeling blooming in his chest.

At the same time, Tifa's father was just trying to make sense of the long-winded monologue.

Another howl sounded, this time picked up by other of the canyon's predators. They were still a ways off, but the hunt had begun. All three humans swallowed and promptly started down the track, Tifa resting in her father's arms.

"So..." Mr. Lockhart began, eyeing the silent boy walking next to him. "Why didn't you tell me what Tifa just told me?" He was honestly curious. He had been about to give the boy the scolding of his life and the kid's flickering eyes had been clear indication that the boy had known and yet, he had remained silent?

"I... I didn't want Tifa to be scolded. Not... not when..." He trailed of but they all knew what he meant. Well, that was an unusually mature thought for boy of barely nine.

Lockhart nodded, grateful for the little Strife's thoughtfulness. In truth, he hadn't liked the boy's father, he had been arrogant and true to his name constantly looked for trouble. His son, however, seemed to only have inherited his mother's considerate nature. "Thanks, kid. For saving her and..." he eyed the dark patch on his shirt, still wet and clinging. "Thank you for being there for her."

The kid nodded, accepting the gratitude. "It was no problem at all, sir." He smiled.

* * *

NOTE: Don't be mistaken. This is adult Cloud in child Cloud's body, but it is an adult Cloud with severe amnesia who's treated like a child. Since there (obviously) aren't any cases studied of such a particular case, this is just my guess on how someone would react. Namely by thinking everyone else was right. He'd just have a more mature mindset than his peers. (Also, any memories he might have had is most likely suppressed due to sheer weirdness)

Also! Who can tell me the question the good doctor forgot? A question that might have told him something of exactly how severe Cloud's amnesia was.

Once again! Please R&R!


	3. Chapter 2

The correct guess for yesterday's question of choice was age. Children are very fuzzy about their age, normally.

Now! On with the story!

* * *

It shouldn't have been surprising, really, that Tifa's friends didn't take too kindly to her new "bestest friend", it really shouldn't. Still, Cloud mused absently wiping blood from his chin, picking a fight with him the second she wasn't around was overdoing it. It wasn't as though he was refusing _them_ to play with her, now. For some reason, he had honestly thought he could just be included in their games. It wasn't like he was slow or weak or a coward, he was actually probably the only one who really kept up with Tifa on some of her more risky endeavours.

But here he was, barely a month since Tifa had decided that Cloud should be included, no discussion allowed, and Dan had cornered him behind the mayor's house. Cloud tongued his split lip, repressing a hiss at the sting and eyed Dan. Dan had managed to get away with only a bruise on his cheek, whereas Cloud, apart from his split lip, was sporting a black eye and a twisted ankle. Dan had obviously fought before, probably with Wel and Meiday and he was taller and heavier than Cloud's diminutive figure.

In a second Dan would lunge again and then Cloud would get it. He just didn't have a clue about how he was supposed to handle this. He had never fought with anyone, had never pressed the issue about Tifa, so he was at such a clear disadvantage here, it was laughable. Except that he was at a clear disadvantage in a fight that was somehow supposed to prove friend rights with Tifa.

It didn't really make any sense in Cloud's head, but nevertheless he was glad that Dan had waited until the girl was gone. He was almost certain they'd both end with more than just bruises if she found out they were _fighting_ for her. He shuddered.

"Little boy afraid of a little fight? I knew all your bravado was just pretend to impress Tifa. You're just a little momma's boy clinging to her skirts. Gonna run home crying?"

"You wish," Cloud shot back coldly and got ready for another round. The truth was, he _had_ been a little clingy with his mum, seeking her out at more or less regular intervals throughout the day when he was smaller. He had stopped getting random panic attacks a few years ago, but the insult stung nevertheless.

Dan pounced, knocking him down, and Cloud's breath was knocked out of him has his back connected with the hard-packed dirt below. "You little shit," Dan cursed, putting a fist in the smaller boy's stomach.

In the end the result was predictable but thankfully no worse than Cloud could drag himself home for his mother to patch him up. The excuse of a simple fall being the cause of all the bruises was met with stoic silence. When she insisted on calling Dr. Morris he just shrugged though, pretending indifference.

He went through the inspection sitting stiff and on guard, but doing as he was told so the inspection could go over smoothly. The good doctor, of course, noticed the boy's struggle. It was far from the panic that had seized him little more than four years ago, but he was still clearly afraid. Morris commended him for his courage and didn't remove his coat. If the boy was determined to battle his fear, he would have to help the best he could, which in this case should be to prove that people in white coats weren't scary. He kept up a stream of light commentary.

"A fall, eh? Not from the well this time, I reckon. Geez, boy, you must have hit every rock on the way down to get bruises like this." Unless someone had pummelled him, which seemed a lot more likely, considering that the were all on his front. " Hmm, this one hurt, I bet. Open your mouth, I gotta see your teeth. Hmm, aside from the lip, nothing seems overly damaged. Please look into this, oh, very fine, the ladies are gonna love your eyes when you turn older. Yeah, you're fine, good to go."

He turned and walked over to where the kid's mother was wringing her hands in worry, giving her a reassuring smile. "I wouldn't worry too much, Mrs. Strife. Aside from the split lip, he only got some bruises and a twisted ankle. He gotta stay off the ankle for as long as you can make him. Sprains are tricky injuries, no telling how long they take to heal. He's gotta wear the wraps for at least two weeks. Good thinking putting ice on it at once though. Well, I'll be taking my leave! Bye!"

She blinked after him as he went out the front door, certain that he must be self-medicating. No one should be able to keep up such persistent cheer all the time. Well, none of her problem and he had taken her son's injuries seriously enough. She shrugged and turned to her son, who was sitting in his bed, pale and wide eyed still.

Mrs. Strife frowned, wondering what in the world had prompted the inexplicable fear of doctors and wondering if she could do anything to help. First things first though, she thought, and went to her stove to bake bread for the both of them.

It didn't take a week before he came home covered in bruises once again. The old ones had barely faded to faint yellow marks as it was, but she didn't call Morris. Bruises she could handle. Besides, his stubborn, evasive answers when she had tried asking him about his incomprehensible latrophobia made her hesitant.

Ten days later he was in a fight again and once again, there was nothing but bruises to show for it. Less than before though, she felt relieved to note, but that there were any at all rankled. It rankled even more that he wasn't telling her what it was about, not that she didn't have guesses, but that he kept telling her that he fell, when he hadn't had a fall since that time at the well was getting to her. She contemplated giving him a scolding and ground him for a month, but... She had been so worried the last couple of years. With him keeping to himself so much, following Tifa from a distance whenever possible. A boy that age was supposed to play and smile and get bruised knees and dirty clothes.

She had been so relieved and proud when he came home, his shirt covered in salty water and mucus as he _excitedly_ told her that Tifa said he was her bestest friend now.

She just... didn't want to ruin it for him. She couldn't remember the last time he had smiled that brightly.

And now it was all just so worrisome. But he seemed so happy!

And while his mother worried, Cloud was fuming. He had almost won that last one with Wel too! Just because he was better than them in almost everything and Tifa looked at him the most. She also laughed at him the most too and worried about his bruises. He had to grimace at that, he wasn't weak! He could handle a few bruises as long as he didn't twist his ankle again. The forced inactivity had almost made him completely crazy!

When next Dan tried to corner him, Cloud would show him, he would! Dan would regret not letting Cloud just be friends with Tifa.

And so, the next time, the lithe blonde had actually managed to topple Dan when old master Zangan found them. They were both taken by the collar and swiftly carried home to their respective parents, with a brief explanation from Zangan.

Knowing that she couldn't let it slip now that she had confirmation that he was getting into fights, Cloud was grounded for a week and sternly told that he better get his act together.

Cloud remained mulishly silent during the lecture, refusing to answer her about why they had been fighting. "It's private," was all he allowed, sulking like only a boy of nine could sulk.

She didn't pressure him. If it really was as she suspected, courting right to Tifa (she had to hide a giggle at that thought) then there really wasn't anything she could do about it.

When Cloud was released from house arrest (and the mandatory chores) it didn't take him a week to find himself in another fight, this time with Meiday. And this time, Tifa's father found them.

By the time Cloud was let out again, he couldn't decide whether he was more angry at the other three boys or if he was more anxious just to see Tifa again. When he knocked on her door though, her father answered and he didn't seem pleased.

"Uh, can... can Tifa come out to play?" Cloud asked, a little prickling of fear running down his spine at the looming figure.

"I have forbidden Tifa from playing with you," he answered, voice freezing. "I thought you were different, but you really are just like your father, starting fights for no good reason, never caring about what anyone else thinks or feels."

"What? But.."

"No buts. I don't wanna hear your excuses, just get out of my sight! And you better keep away from my girl!"

"But I didn't start _any_ of those fights!"

"I don't care! Just stay away, I don't ever want to see you near my daughter again, understand?"

Cloud didn't answer, merely turned on his heel and marched back home, slamming the door.

His mother looked up from her sewing, a few appropriate words ready when she saw the look in her son's eyes. "Cloud, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

"I'm going fishing," he all but snarled, picking up his fishing rod and exiting through the back door, stamping the whole way across the floor. She looked after him worriedly.

He stomped through the forest as well, kicking random bushes and twigs that happened to be in his way. Reaching the point where the river, otherwise wild and frothing, suddenly calmed to an almost gentle flow he sat on an outcrop and plopped the hook into the water, not even bothering with bait.

It didn't take long before the first tear fell and he wiped it away angrily. Big boys didn't cry and he had always known he had to be big, so he wouldn't be a burden to his mum. The next tear fell soon after though, and no matter how many times he wiped them away, they just kept coming. In the end he gave up and just let them fall.

Astrid hesitated, still half-hidden by the trees. She had gone to Lockhart, wondering if he could tell her what had happened to make her son so upset. What he had said had made her slap him. Hard. It had been extremely satisfying and she had smiled a little as she stalked away.

Now any shadow of a smile had faded. She had probably just proven it to the idiotic man that Strifes were all no-goods. And she had a son to worry about.

She couldn't hear his weeping over the sounds of the gurgling water and the tall firs swaying in the wind, but from her vantage point she could see his shoulders shaking and the way his hands were almost desperately clutching the fishing rod.

He had obviously gone here for privacy, but as his mother she couldn't just let him be alone, especially not now. She walked quickly but carefully out on the rocks, sitting down next to him and taking the rod from his shaking hands to place it securely next to them.

He looked up at her then, his eyes red and puffy, tears continually streaming down his cheeks, his nose was running and his lower lip quivering with still repressed emotions.

"Oh, Cloud." Gently lifting him into her lap, she put her arms around his still trembling shoulders, dragging him close. "Ssh, ssh, baby, it's okay, I'm here, it'll be okay..." A never ending stream of words flowed from her lips as she stroked his hair reassuringly and he finally let go, sobbing brokenly into her chest, clinging for all he was worth.

She would have to go see Lockhart again. And this time she would do her best not to slap him.

"Mum?" She heard after awhile. His weeping had subsided to the sporadic sniffle or hiccough, but she wasn't letting him go before he pushed her away. And he wasn't doing that yet.

"Yeah?"

"Was... was father really like.. like Mr. Lockhart says he was?"

"Hm..." She contemplated how to tell him this. It was difficult to explain to a nine-year-old after all. "I can guess how he would describe Donner. The two of them were always bickering or fighting about something or other. They just had very different opinions. Your father cared a lot for the forest and the animals but Mr. Lockhart.. well, he thought we should try and expand the village to make it safer for the children. In the end it didn't make much of a difference because no one wanted to move out here. But regardless, they were both very passionate about it."

"Oh. So they just disagreed a lot?"

"Yeah. They just disagreed a lot." She smiled and kissed his hair. They sat there for awhile, just listening to the water, as it flowed over the rocks before Cloud finally pushed her away and stood.

"Well. I won't catch anything like this," Cloud stated, winding up the fishing line. His mother looked fondly at his sudden activity before she too stood, thankful that her trousers hadn't gotten wet. She made her way back to the village, determined to make an attempt to make the stubborn Lockhart see reason.

She didn't notice the three boys hiding in a shrubbery a little further up the river, but still within sight.

- - -

"I truly am sorry for losing control of my temper before," Mrs. Strife smiled, hoping he wouldn't notice that she wasn't apologising for slapping him. His cheek was still red and it might even bruise. She still felt a weird sort of satisfaction at that, despite the fact that he was agreeing to give her son a second chance, provided he "didn't get into any other fights with Tifa's friends." She had to wonder if he had any sense of reality at all sometimes. She really hoped it was worth it.

Ducking under a leafy branch, her smile froze as the river bank came into clear view and she saw Cloud surrounded by three boys. Not good. They were obviously taunting him and he was obviously doing his best to keep his anger in check. Nevertheless, his chest was heaving and his eyes were alight with fury.

Then suddenly one of the boys, the dirty blonde one, said something. She couldn't hear it but obviously Cloud could. He went completely still, a snarl twisting his face into something vulpine before he bent down, scooped up something and threw it with unerring accuracy at the other boy. It hit him in the head, causing him to sway dangerously. Astrid started running, tripping over fallen branches and rocks, but managing to stay upright nevertheless. She got there just in time to catch the boy, Dan? Before he would have fallen and hit his head even worse.

She lowered him gently. She wasn't a big woman and the kid was several sizes bigger than her own son, whom she could barely lift by now. She raised her eyes to Cloud's, noting that he seemed almost as shocked as everyone else, although anger was fast returning to his all too expressive eyes.

Opening her mouth to scold him to within an inch of his life for throwing _rocks_ at other children, she was interrupted by the gruff voice just behind her. "Well. That's all the proof I needed. Goodbye Mrs. Strife, I hope you learn to keep him in line." And with that, he picked up Dan like his weight was nothing and left, the other two boys trailing after him and throwing vindictive looks back at the pair.

No one had ever called Astrid Strife a formidable woman. She had always been something on the smaller side, slim and almost fragile-looking, but just then, as her flashing eyes turned to her son, he would have given almost anything to face a Nibel wolf instead.

"What in the name of the Planet did you think you were doing?!"

He visible shrunk under her ire, all the anger from before going out of the set of his shoulders. "I... I just... I didn't thi... meant to..." She was tapping her food in irritation at his stammered reply, wondering if he even had an excuse. Would that make his situation better or worse? She didn't know. She supposed it somewhat depended on his excuse. He took a deep breath, trying to compose himself. "They provoked me," he finally got out, quietly, probably knowing that that wouldn't make the cut.

"They provoked you?" She said, voice dangerously low. "So they throw a few words at you and you throw them a stone?" He gulped, eyes flickering. "I don't care what they said, Cloud. You don't ever throw stones at other people. Ever."

"They said I was a crybaby," he interjected hurriedly. "And... and then Dan called you a skank." Some of the anger from earlier had returned, fuelling his defence. "I knew it would be bad if I got into another fight, I-I tried not to get angry because they're just so, so childish, but then he called you... called you _that_ and I just wanted them to go away. I didn't really mean to hit him."

She crossed her arms, staring him down until he began fidgeting again. Then she sighed, her shoulders slumping before she knelt down in front of him. Maybe she could cut him a little slack since he was probably still upset from earlier. "Okay. I understand. Trying to avoid a fight was very honourable of you, but throwing rocks isn't how you do it, okay? What if it hadn't hit, do you think they would have left you alone?"

He averted his eyes and shook his head.

"Good. And you're still grounded for the next week." She had to smile a little at his outraged squawk as she took his hand and led him back to their house.

He threw himself into his chores after that, sometimes even doing more than she asked of him, which didn't shock her, really. Now he wasn't allowed to stalk Tifa or be her friend, he was probably trying to find other things to do. Once he was no longer grounded he started roaming whenever he got the chance, which meant whenever he wasn't in school (which they called it in Nibelheim, but in reality it was just the major teaching the children basic reading, writing and maths every other day). He never stayed out after dinnertime, but came home to eat and help her with the dishes.

There might have been cause for worry, but with no alternatives for him to do, Astrid kept quiet and let him do as he wished. Besides, he always told her if anything interesting had happened and from what she could gleam from his tales, he never went near Mount Nibel, just roamed the valley.

When he was twelve, an early summer evening, where the sun was still showing over the mountains despite it being late afternoon, he announced his intention of joining SOLDIER.

"I'm gonna be a hero just like general Sephiroth! And then everyone, even Mr. Lockhart, will see that I'm not someone they can just push around." She told him that she would look forward to seeing him in the papers and ignored the ache it brought to her heart to know he would be leaving her.

His roaming took on a different purpose then. She didn't know, since he kept his stories light, but he began doing more challenging things, climbing trees and cliffs, taking more and more risks. Instead of walking through the woods, he started jogging and he started hunting. Small things, since he didn't really have any weapons and didn't want to ask his mother for any, but he learned pretty fast how to walk without a sound and stand absolutely still for hours at a time, waiting for a rabbit or a vole to peek from a hole in the ground.

The first time he managed to catch anything he let it go again, not quite determined enough to twist the rodent's neck (besides, it was looking at him with absolutely mournful eyes, pulling the cute critter card).

The next time he closed his eyes and felt the fragile spine of a water vole snap beneath his fingers. The animal let out a high pitched squeak before it became completely limp.

Frowning, Cloud wondered what to do with it. It wasn't like water voles were exactly something he could bring home for his mum to cook. He thought it was probably edible, but... well... if it had been a rabbit it wouldn't have been so weird, but a water vole? He knit his eyebrows together, thinking..

In the end he had left it in front of a fox den where he knew there were kits an decided to go after rabbit the next day.

His mum looked shocked at the animal, hanging limply in her son's hand, then sternly told him he had to clean it himself, if he was going to bring dead animals back. She showed him how, skinning it and removing its guts before hanging it so the blood could run off. He refused to be sick and brought home a peafowl with a broken wing he had found a few days later. She showed him the differences this time as well as how to pluck it.

The next time he came home with a rabbit, he cleaned it himself. It took forever, but he didn't have to resort to asking his mum again.

The night before he left town, he called Tifa out to the old well.

She had barely seen him in the past few years. He had graduated from the major's basic classes faster than anyone else and he never seemed to be in the village. At least he hadn't gotten in any more fights since almost five years ago. Dan and the others had tried telling her how violent he really was, but she had never believed them. She hadn't believed her father either, but he hadn't cared, just told her flat out she was not to see him again.

"Hey Tifa," he called quietly. Both were aware that it wasn't _that_ late and neither wanted Tifa's father to interrupt.

"Hi Cloud," she called back, smiling widely. "S'up?"

"The moon?" He replied jokingly, not wanting to tell her his news immediately.

"Ha, ha, very funny."

"It's been awhile, hasn't it?" His tone was wistful, almost mourning.

"Yeah, it has." There was no reason she should be so sad. They had been friends for only like... two months. "How are you doing?"

"I'm doing well. Mountain air's good for you and all that, what about you? I think I heard something about you starting lessons with Master Zangan?"

She nodded. "Mmh, it's awesome! I'm learning all sortsa things about how to defend myself and stuff." Which was the only reason her daddy had let her. If she told him she was learning how to kick butt he would remove her at once.

A flash of teeth betrayed Cloud's mirth. "I hope that 'and stuff' means you also learn to hit back."

Surprise flashed over her face, then she laughed, sharing his mirth. "Just you wait, in a few years I'll be kicking _your_ butt all over the place."

"Ah, but I'm afraid I cannot let you do that." Mirth faded and he was looking anywhere but at her. "I'm leaving tomorrow."

"WHAT?!" Wincing, he tried to shush her so they wouldn't find their first real conversation in five years cut short. "What? Why? Where?" she had lowered her voice, but the finger poking him in the ribs told him that she was no less insistent for that.

"To Midgar. I'm gonna join SOLDIER."

"SOLDIER? But you're only thirteen! You have to be fourteen to join the army."

"I know, but the next write-up isn't in another six months and.. well... I'm gonna join SOLDIER and be a hero like General Sephiroth! Besides, by the time the paperwork's gone through and the actual schooling starts, I _will_ be fourteen."

"Really?" He nodded. "You're gonna be a hero?" Another nod. "Then you gotta promise me something, 'kay?"

"Sure."

"You gotta be _my_ hero and come save me, right? Like you did on the bridge five years ago."

He tried to blink the intense feeling of deja vu away, nodding his head in acquiescence. "Promise."

* * *

NOTE:

… I dunno if Cloud would really break down that easily. But you know how it is when you're upset and then someone dares to offer sympathy. And being nine, it's a little easier to let yourself cry than when you're 20-odd years old.

Latrophobia should be fear of doctors according to my sources, but... well, if it's not, please don't shoot me XD

Donner means thunder/fierce temper, Astrid means god's strength/beautiful (aditionally, strid is the Danish word for strife so I thought it fit)

I love reviews! You're my heroes! *kisses all her sweet reviewers*


	4. Chapter 3

NOTE: Cloud explicitly states in the game that he's never been to Shinra HQ before. I'm gonna ignore that little detail, 'cause it can only mean that registration for SOLDIER (and the army) doesn't even happen here and that training most likely also takes place somewhere else. But that doesn't fit my plot. Nyahaha!

Sorry for the wait. I actually had stuff to do this weekend (will wonders never cease) and then I was hungover :(

* * *

The bustling streets of Midgar were more frightening than he had anticipated and yet not as frightening as he had imagined. Everyone, at least on the upper plate, walked like they had some kind of purpose, like they had somewhere to be five minutes ago and couldn't be bothered with looking around before they trampled a slim thirteen-year-old boy underfoot.

The bus he had taken from Junon had dropped him off at the sector 7 train station, and he had been left there, tripping nervously from foot to foot, wondering where to go from there. All he knew was that registration was in the 'Shinra Building' but as a country boy, coming from far to the west, he was hardly expected to know where that was.

Except apparently he did. The first man he politely tapped on the shoulder and politely asked where he could find the Shinra building spat on the pavement and asked him how he could not know that. Then he left, laughing raucously. Cloud wrinkled his nose. Next one he asked would be cleaner, he had vowed.

The woman was elderly, her hair greying and in a bun at the back of her neck, small glasses sitting precariously at the tip of her nose. _She_ wrinkled _her_ nose when he asked, but she answered willingly enough. Upper Plate, tallest building, can't miss it.

And indeed, once he got up there, it was very hard to miss the building, towering like some grotesquely oversized centrepiece. With a snigger, Cloud wondered if someone wasn't trying to compensate for something. Then again, maybe they actually did need 70 floors, just for that one company.

Cloud shrugged and moved through the automatic doors into the lobby, taking a moment to admire the huge chopper they had on display before looking around for some sort of counter.

He found it on the third floor. The man there gave him a form and some information pamphlets to fill out without looking up from his computer and Cloud moved to a low table to fill it out.

He quickly filled in all the official details, full name, birthday, and place of birth. He hesitated a little when he came to a field that asked for his personal identification code. His what? Must be a city thing, he decided and left it blank.

Then came registration for which classes he wanted to participate in. Sword fighting wasn't available right off the bat, which was a shame he thought, callisthenics and firearms were automatically checked as obligatory for all military personnel. He quickly checked off the other courses he'd need to be able to apply to SOLDIER and noted that for whatever reason, they expected him to take an additional two courses of his own choice. _Academic_ courses. Huh.

Looking over the list of available options he checked biology and mechanical engineering. They'd probably be the most useful later on.

"Uh," he began as he handed the forms back. "That personal identification code. I don't think I have one."

"Don't have one?" The man finally looked up, fixing beady eyes on the walking, talking hair-disaster in front of his counter. "Where th' hell you from, kid?"

Bristling, but unwilling to let petty feelings of _I'm not a kid, dammit_ get in the way of his career, Cloud answered, as politely as he could manage. "Nibelheim, on the Western Continent."

"Nibelheim? Ain't never hearda it." The man frowned, shrugged and reached for a stamp when his eyes caught on something. "Hey! You ain't fourteen. Ya gotta be fourteen ta regista."

The kid frowned obnoxiously. "No I don't. Says here I just gotta be fourteen to be a cadet. I won't be a cadet until all the paperwork has been finished an I sign the final contract, and that won't happen in like... a week after registration deadline in five days. I'll be fourteen by then."

The man huffed, annoyed with this stubborn little critter. "Where're ya stayin'?"

"Huh?"

"In case the department needs ter contact you, I gotta know where ya stayin' at."

"Uh, Blue Finn. Sector... 8 I think."

"Slums or Plate?"

"Plate." He had contemplated finding somewhere cheaper down under, but the little he had glimpsed of the slums had discouraged him from that notion. Well it didn't matter. His money should hold that far. Barely.

As it turned out, they did not in fact hold that far. Food in Midgar cost a lot more than he had ever anticipated. It would've been cheaper if he had been able to buy the ingredients and make the food himself. He wasn't as good as his mum, but he was nowhere near helpless in a kitchen, however for some reason the administration of the cheap hostel he was staying in wouldn't let him near their kitchen. It was rather strange, really.

He kept to himself as much as possible. Bought some bread and vegetables at a local market, trying not to grumble too much at how the bread tasted like paper and the vegetables had been squashed (and he had thought the food in Junon was bad) and otherwise tried to use as little money as possible. Cadets did get a small pension, since they were considered army property and in case of emergency could be sent to the front lines, however it was humble at best.

Twelve days after his first look at Midgar, Cloud found himself once again in the huge Shinra building. A pass to reach floors above the third had been sent to his hostel two days before. Nervous energy had made it impossible to sleep and when the sun had begun peeping through the window he had given up, done some exercises in the closed off court behind the hostel, taken a shower, finished the last of his food for a sparse breakfast and then gone towards the looming Shinra building.

He was the first in to stash his meagre belongings in the dormitory (even though he had almost gotten lost searching for his nameplate, until he remembered to look for his surname instead of his given name) and he was now sitting on the bunk he had chosen, the one closest to the window, contemplating whether or not he should wait for his room mates and say hello or just go to the assembly hall and wait for the introduction to start.

He sighed. He really had never known how to treat the boys his age, his only experience was with Dan and the others. Sniggering a bit at how Wel and Meiday had been reduced to simply "the others" in his head, Cloud got up and made his way to the assembly hall. He could always make friendly later.

The assembly hall was just that; a big room with a lot of chairs facing a slightly raised podium. Cloud sat in one of the corners far to the back, close to a fire exit, where he wouldn't be immediately noticeable. Well, except for his hair, but there really wasn't anything he could do about that. The rest of the cadets began filing in in ones and twos shortly after. Some of them obviously knew each other and were boasting in loud voices about how they would be the first of this bunch of losers to make it into SOLDIER, and how awesome all the training was going to be and how it was so pansy-arsed that they had to take bookworm classes along with the much more usable ones, like firearms and sword-fighting.

Cloud couldn't quite hold back a snort and a roll of his eyes. Did they really think learning strategy or summons was useless?

His huff was echoed by a gangly boy sitting to Cloud's left. "Who do they think they are? Hearing them you'd think they thought all SOLDIERs ever did was slay empty-headed monsters. With sticks." He imitated clubbing someone over the head and Cloud couldn't hold back a grin. "Hey, name's Martin. Maansson. You seem to have something working under that crown of yours, gonna join SOLDIER?"

Cloud tilted his head, eyeing the boy anew. He would probably top Cloud by almost a full head standing, his hair was a nondescript brown and cropped close to his head. He was probably at least a year older then Cloud too. Amused grey eyes was looking back at him, just as curious.

"Yeah, I am," Cloud simply answered. "I'm Cloud Strife." He held his hand out and was surprised at how enthusiastically Martin shook it.

"Dude, I'm so glad I sat here, I was despairing to think I'd be sharing classes with no-brains like those, they-..."

"Hey," a voice behind them interjected. "I'm offended you'd log me with those gorillas just like that. You're not the only one with more than blood and slaughter between the ears."

"Oh, I'm sorry, didn't mean to offend anyone. 'S just first day and everything, don't know who you can trust. I'm Martin. Don't worry, I don't normally babble quite this bad, just nervousness I guess." He grinned, scratching the back of his neck.

"Patrick Schwarz," the boy replied with a raised eyebrow disappearing up under his straight black bangs. "And before you ask, I'm not joining SOLDIER, I'm gonna be a pilot."

"Huh, so's not just SOLDIER candidates in here? Good, if I had to compete with 200 people for the spots I think I'd break down."

Cloud and Patrick exchanged looks. "Maansson, you do know that there are no "spots" for SOLDIER, right? Whoever passes all the right classes are automatically eligible to apply. It's just that passing all the required classes is hard."

"Really hard," Cloud agreed. Then fell silent as the main entrance doors shut with a loud bang that made half the cadets jump. A smaller door behind the podium opened and an old grizzly man stepped through and stepped onto the podium.

"I know 85% of you think you're gonna join SOLDIER and be the next General Sephiroth and the rest think they're gonna surpass General Sephiroth or some other foolish notion." Cloud heard the near inaudible snort from Patrick but was paying far more attention to the front. "Let me tell you this from the start; ambition's all well and good, but you gotta keep your feet on the ground or you'll be blown over easy as stepping on a bug." Cloud had to wonder a little if the man had thought that particular comparison properly through. Most bugs could fly and they were decidedly hard to step on when they were air born. "My name's Commander Walker and I'm in charge of all cadets. You'll be addressing me as Commander or sir for the rest of your stay here, or you'll find yourself scrubbing so many floors you'll never be able to raise your head again. Understood?" The last word was barked out, making everyone sit suddenly ramrod straight.

"Yes sir." The reply wasn't exactly as enthusiastic as one could have hoped for, however Commander Walker nodded, satisfied. Cloud was surprised how prompt the response had come from himself, but was quickly distracted as Walker took up his monologue once again.

"You are considered military property from now on. If there should be an emergency, ShinRa can send you there and you will obey, no questions asked. The corporation will ensure that you're fed and sheltered as long as you follow your contract, which you will be signing shortly. If you cause any kind of trouble within the army, you will be punished in accordance with regulations. Repeated offences will lead to a discharge. If you do something that is deemed serious enough, this will lead to discharge as well, even if you have no previous offences.

"The rest of the day will be for you to get used to the building and get to know your new room mates. Each dormitory will be sent to the infirmary one at a time, there's a note hanging on the central notice board outside this room specifying the exact time for each dorm, and you will all have a thorough health check before you'll be allowed to sign any contracts. If you're found lacking, you will either be directed to another program or you will be discharged. Are there any questions?"

"No sir," Cloud replied, once again without thinking. He was just glad he hadn't yelled it out as he found most of the other cadets simply shook their heads in the negative.

"When I ask you a question, cadets, you will reply with either "yes sir" or "no sir". This is a military academy, you'll do well to remember that. Are there any questions?"

"No sir!" The collective response this time was prompt.

Not showing either approval or disapproval, the officer continued. "The drop-out rate for the SOLDIER program is near to 90%. 60% of these join the infantry. You may keep applying to SOLDIER until you turn eighteen, after which it's deemed too dangerous to administer mako to clean individuals. Please remember that even if you do make it through the program, there are additional tests to ensure that your mental health is stable enough that you won't lose your mind to the mako." He gave a toothy grin, which didn't seem reassuring in the least.

"Dismissed." And Walker marched back out the door he had come from.

It didn't take long after he left for conversation to pick up again as people began to leave, everyone checking the timetable for when they had to go to the infirmary.

"Oh man, I'm so excited I could shit myself!" Martin exclaimed, bouncing.

"Please don't," Patrick said from behind them as they waited for everyone else to leave. Cloud wasn't saying anything, already dreading the infirmary visit. It was one thing to be examined by one doctor in familiar surroundings with a person he trusted, namely his mum, nearby. Somehow, he feared it would be ten times worse in an unknown environment and with probably a doctor for each cadet, which meant ten doctors in white coats in the same room in unfamiliar environment.

"Hey, which room're you guys in? I can almost read the board from here." He would Cloud sulked, annoyed with his own diminutive height then noticed that Patrick was just a couple inches taller than he was.

"06S." There was nothing in the raven's tone suggesting anything like the annoyance Cloud felt and he felt a brief flash of remorse that he was overreacting so much over something as trivial as height.

"Hmm, you're up at the end of the day. 1600 hours. Cloud?"

"06C."

"C? Hey, we're bunking together, that's cool, I didn't check the name plate before. We're up in forty minutes."

"Great." He couldn't quite keep the sarcasm from his tone and received a pair of inquiring looks, but luckily the two other cadets didn't ask any probing questions and Cloud wasn't volunteering.

"Hey, this is our room, gotta check out our room mates. We'll see you around, yeah Schwarz?" Patrick simply waved over his shoulder as he disappeared down the hall.

Cloud followed behind the other teen, sighing a little. Martin was good enough, he supposed, he had sort of appreciated the sarcastic comments about the "no-brains" (as he decided they'd be called for the rest of his stay), but he just couldn't seem to imagine himself in a social circle. Briefly, he wondered what guys his age even did when they spent time together before he was interrupted by Martin's quiet remark of "Oh, aren't we the lucky ones."

Looking past a bony shoulder, Cloud silently agreed as he saw No-Brain #1 resting casually at the bed closest to the window. _His _bed. The next thing he noticed was that his stuff, which he had just hurriedly stuffed into the locker next to the bunk, was thrown haphazardly out on the floor. His eyes narrowed, anger replacing mild irritation.

"Oh, hello." The boy was trying for a casual tone, however malicious glee was clear in his eyes. "I decided I wanted this bed, so I removed your stuff from my locker. Hope you don't mind."

"Uh, 's not my stuff," Martin hedged. A quick look around, though, confirmed that the two of them were the last to arrive and if it wasn't his... He glanced down at the smaller boy next to him noting the anger twisting his expression. Cloud's stuff then.

A red haze had sunk down over Cloud's vision. He had chosen that bed because he had been first, and he had liked the thought of the window being near. Fintly the notion that being this angry was a Bad Idea entered his mind. When had the last time been when he had been this angry? Oh, that's right, the time Dan had called his mother a skank and he had thrown a stone at him, effectively causing him to lose his friendship with Tifa.

He took a deep breath, the memory helping him to try and see reason. The other boy was big, even taller than Dan and while his muscles looked flabby, he could probably overwhelm Cloud with sheer weight alone.

The blonde tilted his head. He had fight with something else than muscle then.

"It's no problem." He was relieved to note that he had effectively cleaned his tone of the absolute fury that had been threatening to overwhelm him moments earlier as he moved to pick up his clothes. "I mean, if you're suffering from claustrophobia, you should've just told me. I could've moved my stuff no problem." He couldn't help the smirk at the brutes flabbergasted look and had to wonder if it gave him away. Turning it at the idiot sitting and staring at him, he turned it up a notch into a fake friendly smile.

By the time the bastard had realised that there wasn't going to be any confrontation, Cloud was already stuffing his belongings into a locker on the other side of the room with forced cheerfulness.

"Wha'...? Claustrophia?"

"Yeah," Cloud replied glibly, happy for the chance to throw even more thinly veiled insults at the idiot. "It means being afraid of enclosed spaces. It's no shame to be afraid." Or so his mum had told him time and again when she was trying to talk with him about his own latrophobia.

"I'm not afraid!" Cloud had to refrain from rolling his eyes, both at the predictable answer and the fact that he hadn't even noticed the insinuation that he didn't know what claustrophobia meant.

"You aren't?" He should have done this with Dan and the others. Looking at the other boy's face, at the frustration painted all over it, was hilarious. "Then why'd you choose to take a bed that was already occupied?"

The eight other boys in the room was eerily silent, watching the exchange between the smallest and largest cadets in fascinated wonder. Martin had to stifle a snigger at the sheer audacity of throwing insults at the stupid oaf and veiling them as purely innocent inquiries and concern. Still. Once the oaf got over it he was gonna make trouble for Cloud. A look at Cloud's fake curious expression told him that the petite lad was aware and didn't give a damn.

Well then, how would the oaf reply to the polite inquiry without making himself seem like a petulant child?

Realising the same problem, No-Brain #1 cast his eyes around the room for a way out and finding none he simply grumbled something unintelligible. Cloud turned and stashed the rest of his stuff into the locker, not caring about the reoply, just that the feeling of victory in his gut made him hard-pressed to hide a condescending smirk.

Sitting on his bed once finished, he had to wonder what they were supposed to be doing now. They still had twenty minutes until the check-up, Cloud squashed rising panic at the thought, and the exchange had thrown the room into an uncomfortable silence. With a start, Cloud realised that a large part of the occupants were looking at _him_. Like he would just magically come up with a solution to the uncomfortable atmosphere.

Sky blue eyes turned to Martin, who had seemed much more comfortable with talking, and with a grin the gangly fellow opened his mouth to alleviate the pressure from his new friend. "Well, we're supposed to get to know each other better, but since there's only like... 18 minutes left, how about we just tell each other our names and where we're from before we go to the infirmary? I'm Martin Maanson, from Midgar, sector 4 slums."

Five others, including No-Brain #1 whose name turned out to be Irwin, came from Midgar as well. The rest consisted of one from Mideel, one from Costa Del Sol and one from a little one-horse town akin to Nibelheim near the marches south-east of Midgar.

They left the room, Irwin forcing himself to walk in the front, and went to the infirmary. Cloud and Martin automatically fell back, creating as much distance between themselves and the much too adamantly dominating boy in the front.

"He's gonna be trouble, yanno."

"Mh," Cloud replied, non-committally.

"T'was satisfying though, watching him flounder like a fish on land. I bet he's only now figuring out what hit him."

Cloud grunted.

"You're not the talkative type, are you?"

"Whatever gave me away?"

"The grunting."

"Aha."

Martin snorted, amusement clear in the way he rolled his eyes as they neared the infirmary.

Inside were ten beds ordered in two rows against each wall, which was painted clinically white. It still smelt a little of fresh paint in the room and Cloud surmised that they repainted the walls frequently. The beds were bare, probably because they weren't in use at the moment, and next to each one sat a doctor in a white coat.

Cloud swallowed and walked over to the last one free, standing next to a bed in the middle of the room.

"What's your name, boy?"

"Cloud Strife, sir." It only made it worse if he focused on the wall behind the doctor, seeing the white lab coats through his peripheral vision, so he did his best to focus only on the man's eyes. They didn't seem unfriendly, clinical to be sure and slightly exasperated with the duty he was forced to perform, but not unkind. He could still see the other doctors out of the corners of his eyes, but t was easier not to focus on them with a person sitting in front of him.

"Cadet Strife, then, planning on applying for SOLDIER?"

"Yes sir."

The man nodded. "I'm Dr. Manley. Please remove your shirt." Cloud did so, fighting panic when the fabric obscured his vision. Around the room he could hear the other cadets murmuring answers or doctors giving directions. Having the doctor listen to his lungs as he took deep breaths was only almost as uncomfortable as having his pulse and blood pressure measured. The cuff constricting around his arm made his already elevated pulse rate even higher.

"Hmm... well, I can tell you that your lungs are clean as can be and your heart certainly sounds strong enough. Are you feeling any undue nervousness or fear? Your pulse rate seems rather elevated."

Cloud bit his lip, stalling. He hadn't actually intended to let ShinRa know of his fear of doctors, however he couldn't very well lie and if he _was_ hurt it might be advantageous that they knew. "I... have latrophobia," he finally admitted as quietly as he could manage.

"Hm, that's inconvenient. You seem to control it well enough though."

"Thank you, sir."

"Do you know how you got it?"

"No sir." Cloud looked around, signifying that it was not something he was comfortable talking about with other people around.

"I see. Does it extend to fear of needles?"

"No sir."

"Good, I have to take a blood sample." For some reason, the taking of blood was a lot less uncomfortable than having his blood pressure measured and Cloud stared in slight fascination as the small vial was filled with red liquid pouring from his veins. The doctor spent the few seconds to make some notes on his clipboard on, Cloud guessed, his medical file.

"Right. Well, aside from your pulse, everything seems to be in good condition. You seem a little underweight, so make sure you eat. I don't expect any trouble with your blood sample, but if there is, be aware that your contract will be void. You can go on signing it now. It's just down the hall to the left, room 04G." Distractedly he made a few other notes and put a sticker on the blood sample containing Cloud's blood, but the blonde was already out the door.

The signing of contracts went relatively uneventful. Cloud had been the last recruit leaving the infirmary room, but Adulio Fuentes, the guy from Costa del Sol, hadn't even finished the last twirl to his name when Cloud entered.

Once signed, they got a copy and was told to go to a storage room to get their uniforms.

They were now officially cadets.

* * *

Cloud's new friends... well... I actually haven't quite decided what to do with them. They just... interfered. *huffs* Maanson is a Swedish surname. The aa is pronounced like the u in 'up'. Schwarz is German and means Black.

And what is it with old grizzly men? XD (and yay for long introduction speeches to explain all those annoying details that may or may not have anything to do with the story)


	5. Chapter 4

Rating has as of this chapter gone up to T for crude language and even cruder insinuations. I have introduced an unpleasant person :( And because I can't keep from swearing in my notes XD

I forgot to give Irwin a surname last chapter. It's Carman... uh, which you'll notice in the first line XD

* * *

Cloud had no doubt in his mind that Irwin Carman would cause trouble for him, but when he came back to his dorm, Carman offered no more than a sneer and a comment about 'lesser beings' before the oaf went in search of his friends. He spent the time until dinner listening to most of the rest of his new room mates chat on about what they thought the classes would be like ("Probably hard, but I'm sure I can handle it."), about the latest development in the Wutai war ("General Sephiroth is _the_ coolest, like, ever!" not from Martin but from the mousey boy from Mideel) and the despairing lack of female personnel ("I might be tempted to get myself a few scrapes if the only girls around are the nurses") with a brief excursion for lunch.

Cloud's first meal in the army wasn't what he would call impressive but having been living in very sparse rations for a week, Cloud devoured the sloppy sandwich with gusto, ignoring the looks he got from the other boys who were about halfway through theirs and still talking about inane things when he began picking crumbs.

Dinner was much the same, except that the lady at the counter had given him a once over before placing a few more potatoes on his plate. He noted with humour that she did the same to Martin, despite his grimace of distaste.

The next day they would start their classes, but despite the excitement, unfamiliar surroundings and, more significantly, sleeping arrangements Cloud slept like a stone, probably because he hadn't closed an eye the night before.

The excitement turned out to be less than productive the next day. They started the day with warm-ups and callisthenics and the repetitiveness was mind-numbing to say the least. Even those, who had started out bouncy, was simply doing their best to keep up with the drill sergeant's count. Their first lesson in martial arts and hand-to-hand combat wasn't much more thrilling and despite the fact that they actually got their hands on weapons in the first firearms practise class, they were set to dismantle and put it together again for the entirety of the fifty minutes that lesson took. Apparently they weren't allowed target practise until they could dismantle and re-assemble what they were aiming with in a timely manner. Which with the simple gun they were given was all of one minute.

Cloud found that once he knew what to do, the movement came relatively easy. When the officer saw that he could do it fast enough, however, he was simply asked to do it again "until he could repeat it in his sleep and on field rations," which apparently meant that he was starving.

He tried not to think of the implications of that.

The morning classes had also been an interesting lesson in profane language, and it wasn't so much that Cloud was against people expression how they felt, words were just words after all, and he felt he had matured somewhat at least since he threw that stone after Dan, but nevertheless it was something of a shock for the small village boy, who had never had any reason for swearing. Shocking and just a bit annoying when he was the subject. More than a bit annoying. It seemed like instructors could find fault with anything.

Once again he ate in silence and the rest of his classmates were unusually silent as well, all of them tired after the exhausting exercises they had performed all through morning. The mousey, unassuming boy from Mideel looked ready to fall asleep halfway through and Carman, who had relocated to another table with his two friends, were barely even grumbling about how it was useless to learn to disassemble and re-assemble a gun, "'cause SOLDIER Firsts only used swords anyway". Martin snidely remarked that considering the drop-out rate for the SOLDIER program ShinRa probably just wanted to ensure that those entering infantry already knew what they were doing. Cloud nodded and finished the last crumbs on his plate.

The academic classes of the afternoon was a disaster. Not only was he tired, but Cloud found that basic reading skills and mathematics weren't anywhere near adequate for the level they started at. His history teacher had seen the weak link immediately and continued to prove to everyone how little he knew. About everything, apparently.

It was doubly frustrating because Cloud had felt well-read and rather smart compared to his peers back in the village. He had been the only one in his age group, who periodically read the news paper (Wel had been so kind to point that out when he had seen Cloud sitting outside one summer morning with news paper in one hand and a bun for breakfast in the other) and he had always been better in the classes held in Nibelheim than the others. He had honestly expected to do rather well.

The abuse only let up when Carman (and Cloud felt rather annoyed for being grateful for the idiot) had none-too-discreetly commented that history was useless. That had sent the teacher into a fit, and they had all gotten a long lecture about how SOLDIERs represented ShinRa in a way that no other military personnel did, since the Turks were generally covert and no one expected foot-sluggers to do more than follow orders. SOLDIERs were the public face of ShinRa's army and as such they were required to be able to carry a conversation with more commentary than mere grunts.

Which of course also explained why SOLDIERs needed an additional two academic courses on top of the three compulsory ones.

Materia & summons and tactics & military strategy were both much easier. Not because the subjects as such were easier, but because everyone was mostly ignorant. It was a relief that he didn't have to catch up in these subjects at least, because the history teacher had given him two extra essays to be completed in a week on top of the assignments to be done for Wednesday when they had the subject again (and incidentally would get more homework). It was bad enough that they were piling homework on the cadets as though they didn't expect them to have anything else to do.

Cloud spent his time after dinner in the library with Martin and Patrick, who didn't share their classes but came along with his own homework anyway. He was grateful for their company however Cloud didn't relish asking for assistance and he enjoyed the thought of being a burden even less.

That didn't change the fact that he wanted to punch Martin when he started laughing at how education was regarded in small mountain villages.

The next day was even worse.

They were all sore from the strenuous activities they had been forced through the day before, and the callisthenics at the beginning of day were hell, the instructor of their combat class had no sympathy for their sorry exhausted states and wincing with almost every movement made it awkward to say the least to efficiently disassemble and re-assemble a gun.

As it turned out, he was just, if not more so, behind in his chosen subjects that afternoon than in history. Cloud had never so much as been introduced to the concept of physics in Nibelheim and so his teacher in mechanical engineering gave him two weeks to learn about the concept of electricity to his satisfaction. Which meant that he had to know everything there was to know. At least he hadn't delighted in Cloud's humiliation, just completely ignored him once he had figured that the diminutive blonde wouldn't be able to answer anything.

Biology had been slightly better as the teacher had merely been testing their general knowledge, but he had nevertheless been dragged aside by the teacher and told in no uncertain tones that eventually they would start on biochemistry and if he knew nothing about chemistry, he would find himself inexorably lost.

It turned into another late night at the library. He shared mechanical engineering with Patrick, but he was on his own in biology and both Patrick and Martin had their own homework to complete.

After the first week, Cloud was despairing. It seemed that all he ever managed was to get even _more_ behind in his academic classes. Additionally, the physically taxing mornings were taking their toll and he found himself constantly tired and unable to concentrate properly. He had wanted to spend the first Sunday resting, but with the amount of additional homework mounted on him, he had spent the day in the library. At least he was getting intimately familiar with the library staff, who were mostly friendly with the exception of one grumpy old man, who took it as a personal insult that Cloud didn't know what the July revolt of 1953 was about. Apparently he had participated.

And Monday night, when he once again felt stumped by yet another extra assignment given to him by the damnable history teacher he finally gave in. His head hit the book in front of him with a loud thunk, causing both Martin and Patrick to shoot him a questioning glance. Cloud wasn't commonly prone to melodramatics.

"I'm getting nowhere," he stated, face still pressed into the book he had been reading. "I give up."

"Uh," Martin began, swivelling his gaze to Patrick for a brief _how-the-fuck-do-you-deal-with-depressed-blondes_ look, before directing it back to blond spikes when no answer seemed forthcoming. "Isn't it... a bit early to give up?"

Cloud looked up, levelling an icy stare on the brunette.

"I mean," said brunette continued, disconcerted by the level gaze. "It's only been a week and... well, even Irwin and his lackeys are too tired to do more than shove people in the queue."

"My brain," Cloud enunciated carefully, "is being wrung like you would wring the neck of a rodent to kill it. Right now, it's doing the twitching thing before falling silent. Forever."

Martin winced at the imagery. He had never really thought much about how to kill rodents beyond putting rat poison in the corners of the kitchen. "Surely it can't be that bad." Cloud just looked at him. "Surely..." He mumbled reaching for Cloud's extra assignments to read them over. His eyes widened slightly. "Hey, Patrick? Take a look at this..."

Raising a quizzical eyebrow, the boy received the few papers describing what Cloud had to do to fill in the blanks of his knowledge. As he read though, his other eyebrow joined the first. "You're screwed," he commented succinctly.

"And that there's only my history assignments. I also have an assignment on 'everything about electricity' for mech _and_ I have to figure out what the heck chemistry's about before we start biochemistry."

"...You've been wanting to rant for awhile, haven't you?" Martin noted, looking through the history stuff again. "Dude, this isn't anywhere close to fair. I mean, sure we covered the uprising in Kalm a hundred years ago in school, but..."

"...But?"

"I don't think you could find two students in our class, who could name even one of the leaders of the Kalm Capitol Alliance. We just know that they changed a lot. And dude, he can't be serious! Agriculture? Who even wants to know about agriculture? And this isn't even about agriculture today. ...I'm sorry to tell you this, hon'..."

"Don't call me 'hon'."

"...But he's picking on you," Martin continued unperturbed. "Have you noticed how almost every teacher's decided on a student or a couple students, who's... well, not up to par? Am I the only one who thinks they're _trying_ to get people to quit?" He saw realisation dawning in Cloud's eyes before turning to Patrick, who shook his head.

"I'm not in the SOLDIER program. They like prospective pilots, apparently."

The blonde turned back to the brunette, a dangerous light appearing in his eyes. "So I'm not good enough, is that it?" The usually soft-spoken, almost mild and definitely not very intimidating blonde had narrowed his eyes and was sending glares towards the papers in Martin' hand. Martin quickly delivered them back, just in case they caught fire. "We'll just have to see about that."

"Uh, Cloud?" An incensed growl was the only answer. "Cloud, don't do anything rash, okay?"

"Don't worry, Martin, I'm just gonna prove that I'm up to snuff." For some reason the flash of teeth that came along with the statement didn't feel reassuring at all.

And with that he returned to his book, every now an then making notes on the paper next to him, for all the world seeming to want to kill the paper with his pencil.

"Right," the tallest of the three stated before he returned to his own homework.

- - -

"I'm done."

"Done? Is this about quitting again?" Although it wouldn't be surprising considering how every teacher seemed to pile them in homework and Cloud, who had to catch up besides. Add the continued lethargy due to the strenuous morning classes (although Martin had gotten the impression that Cloud was doing well in those) and it really wasn't very surprising.

There had already been one quitter in their dorm, the kid from the marsh village, who had given up just a few days previously, courtesy of Irwin Carman and his posse, who had descended on the kid the second they had the energy to boss people around.

"No, idiot. I'm done with catching up. At least in mech and biology. Oernstrup still thinks I'm lagging." He grimaced but knew there was no way he could ever convince the man otherwise. First impressions and all that.

"Just in time too." Patrick commented from the doorway, having just arrived.

"In time? In time for what?"

The raven sent the taller boy an exasperated look. "If you didn't interrupt, I could tell you. They're holding exams for the sword classes on Friday."

"Exams?" Cloud asked when Patrick stopped.

"Gee, Cloud, don't you listen in class? And here I thought you were this great child genius getting caught up in only a month." The blonde shot Martin a Look at the sarcastic comment. His academic scores was still well below average.

"The exams," Patrick pressed, "is to determine motor coordination, which basically means whether or not you can carry a sword without stabbing your foot. They also want to establish the level we're at."

"Well, we already know who's gonna make it to the top, right Cloud?"

"What?"

"Don't look so innocent. You're easily among the top three in our hand-to-hand combat class."

Cloud blinked. "I am?"

Martin rolled his eyes. "The only way I can imagine you not realising that is because you're put together with Fuentes, and he's also pretty good not to mention a good deal taller. You were also the first to be allowed on the shooting range, didn't you see Carman's face?"

"I was?"

"Dude. If you weren't so adorable and oblivious I'd hate you. Seriously."

"Uh... thanks. Wait, adorable?!"

"Aw, come on! Don't tell me you aren't using those eyes to your advantage. I bet your mother couldn't say no to you if she tried. You're just the sort of guy who'll just always be popular just because you look good."

Cloud had to blink at that, then snort in derisive amusement.

With no comment from the blonde, Martin safely figured the topic closed, and lapsed into a one-sided discussion on sword types, leaving Cloud to contemplate the information he had just been given.

There was of course the rather startling revelation that he was among the better of his classmates. He honestly hadn't noticed, too absorbed in his homework hell and just concentrating on bettering himself. He really wasn't the sort to compare himself with others unlike Irwin Carman, who was always boasting loudly whenever Cloud entered a room.

The blonde rolled his eyes, thinking that maybe Carman had thought he was proving something, boasting about how many push-ups he could take, and it was true that he was getting less flabby, but then it was doubtful that _anyone_ could be anything less than in good shape considering the amount of exercise they were performing. After two weeks they had even started running around upper plate every morning before breakfast. Not in time but still in formation and considering that Cloud had considerably shorter legs than average, the morning races had been almost gruesome at first.

Regardless. It was good news that he was doing well but the fact that they would start combat training with swords.. that was _exciting_. He could hardly wait.

- - -

The tests had been rather dull compared to all the excitement they had caused in the dorms, just basic motor reflexes and eye-hand coordination before going through the motions they were taught in their martial arts classes. Which so far was nothing more than exchanging a series of parries and punches already choreographed and timed.

In short, it had been easy for the agile blonde.

And now he had been placed in class for those with superior athletic abilities. Which was sort of nice and it certainly was boosting his ego, but it also meant that he _had_ to be good and the pressure was an annoyance he could have done without. Then again, considering that Irwin Carman was in the class too, maybe not. Obviously superior athletic abilities had all of squat to do with mental functions.

They were all sort of just standing there (well, aside from Carman who was boasting yet again to anyone who cared or didn't care to listen) waiting for the instructor to arrive.

"Attention!" they filed into a neat line in seconds, all of them more than used to the military protocol by now. The man nodded once, sharply, before waving them at ease.

"I'm sure you new recruits all think this is very exciting and you're all very proud of yourself for making it into this class. I _sincerely_ hope you realise what it means to be in this class? You! Cadet, what's your name?" He pointed at a boy to Cloud's right, with a jaw much too big for his narrow face and shoulders to match.

"Carl Jones, sir!"

"Well, cadet Jones, what does it mean that you're in this class?"

"That we're better than the others, sir." There was just a hint of insecurity near the end.

"No, idiot, that's 'why' you're here, I asked what it means!" The instructor picked up a training word, long and slim compared to the rest, walked over to Jones and whacked him over his thigh with the flat side. The slap all but echoed through the small room like a clap of thunder. Suddenly, even though they were 'at ease' everyone stood a little straighter. "Are there anyone who can answer my question? Step forward!" Everyone took a step back, except for Cloud. "Yes? What's your name?"

"Cadet Cloud Strife, sir." He kept his eyes fixed straight ahead, not looking as the big man came close, crowding him.

"And you think you can answer?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well, lets hear it."

"Being in a class that's considered superior means there's no room for error, sir. We have to be the best and we have to continue to be the best. Sir."

The officer turned on his heel to address the class, not acknowledging whether the answer had been correct. "I'm sergeant Mårdh. I'll be your instructor in fencing. I will not cuddle you; you're in the military. If you want cuddling you can go back home to your mothers. I expect results and you will provide them or I will punish you in any way I see fit. If you really are the best, though, and I severely doubt that, you wont have a problem." He cast a look back at Cloud, as if to say that he was the reason he had doubts. Great, another teacher, who didn't think he was good enough.

"All of you, pick a sword from here, make sure the length and weight are befitting of your body type."

Half the class rushed for the swords, not noticing Mårdh's grimace of distaste. Cloud held back along with Fuentes, who had also made the class, and half a dozen others, waiting for the overeager bunch to finish before nearing the neat pile.

Cloud automatically picked up a sword of the same length as the standard issue broadswords used by most SOLDIERs. It was a little heavy but it felt supremely good in his hands, the weight of the metal in his hand felt... _right_. Like coming home would feel maybe. However before Cloud had truly registered how very natural it felt to carry a sword that proportionally was way too big for him, Mårdh had moved in and removed it from his grip.

"A tiny cadet like you should try a much smaller sword. Like this," he said, and handed Cloud a much smaller one, no longer than his arm and a great deal slimmer than he would've chosen for himself. The weight was entirely too light. He raised his eyes to protest but already before he opened his mouth, he knew is was futile. "Sir, it... feels too light."

"Nonsense. You're not experienced enough to judge that correctly. Get in position."

Cloud bit his lip and got into position to the back, furthest from Sergeant Mårdh. By the time he turned around his face was carefully schooled not to reveal any of the anger at the instructor's uncaring dismissal. The practice sword in his hand felt about as effective as a wooden stick. A dry one that breaks the first time you hit anything with it.

It was a foolish notion of course. The thing was, while mostly wood, cored with steel and even if the edge (or lack thereof) made it little more than a club, it would probably still hurt quite a bit if you hit someone over the head with it.

Still, Cloud couldn't rid himself of the feeling of... wrong. It just wasn't supposed to feel this light in his hands.

"Detention is given to anyone who hits another student before we start sparring practices, and this week, we're only practising stances and foot work. Follow my lead." He demonstrated the stance and every cadet imitated to the best of their ability. "Now, your sword arm in front, keep it upright so you'll be ready to parry. Strife, you're stance is too wide, correct it. The other arm is used for balance at the back, Strife, the stance is still too wide and your left arms _at the back_, not up front to help you carry the sword. It should be small enough for you, I sincerely hope you can lift it."

Cloud grit his teeth and tried to do as he was told, however it made him feel oddly out of balance to stand with such a narrow stance and having his off hand waving in he air behind him to make up for it made him feel stupid. But Mårdh was right, he had no experience with swords or fighting with one or even using one to cut vegetables.

The rest of the class was excruciating and he earned two detentions for accidentally hitting other students before they got the hint and moved out of his reach. Mårdh all but showered him with criticism and it seemed like every time he had something to criticize, it would somehow disrupt whatever flow Cloud had managed to gain.

- - -

"He sounds like a bitch."

"That wasn't the point I was trying to make!"

"Well, regardless, I can't really help you with your stance and all seeing as I barely even was accepted into sword classes. Besides, my instructor's a bumbling idiot. I mean, I'm sure he can hold his own, 's just... he's extremely absent minded."

"You'd rather be in my class?"

"With someone who picks everything apart like that? No way. Its just that giving us an instructor like that... 't makes me feel like they've already given up on us, yanno? Like it isn't even worth it to teach us real fencing."

"Oh. I see... I'm sorry."

"Naw, don't be. Not your fault you're an athletic genius."

"Which I'm not, apparently." He tried to shoot a smile for that, but he was afraid it might look just as faked as the one Martin shot him back.

- - -

Fencing was only every second day, but nevertheless Cloud woke almost every morning, dreading it. Mårdh had started with simple constant criticism, but when it was obvious that the small blonde wasn't going to quit that easily, he had moved on to insults and when the first didn't work, they only got cruder and cruder.

"Ye gads, Strife, I didn't know they allowed girls into the SOLDIER program."

"Listen, if you want to be cuddled, go home to your boyfriend, it won't happen in my class."

"If you keep spreading your legs like that, then maybe you should start blaming your boyfriend?"

It was only Patrick's reminders that if he should attack Mårdh, not only would he get a serious beating, he was probably also going to be discharged for attacking a superior officer, that kept him from doing just that. As it was, the sound of Cloud gritting his teeth every time the sergeant opened his mouth was audible throughout the room.

It didn't help that Carman had picked up on it right away and seeing as he had lost his favourite chewing toy already, he had descended on Cloud and his friends with relish.

"Oh, are you having a date with your _boy friend_?" He'd comment while they were holed up in the library or eating dinner or whenever else Cloud and Martin would find themselves without Patrick. When Patrick was there too he tried insinuating that Cloud were being unfaithful while being about as subtle as the meeting between a truck and a brick wall.

The entire situation was frustrating to the extreme but there was nothing to do but buckle up, grit his teeth and concentrate on everything else.

He was still doing well in the hand-to-hand combat classes as well as the firearms class (they had started practising with rifles) and he could feel that he was picking up the pace in his academic courses too, in spite of Oernstrup's valiant effort of keeping him swamped with homework. It was almost as though the further he came along the easier it became to remember the theory.

Three weeks after Carman and his buddies had started their campaign, Martin quit.

The decision came rather suddenly to Cloud, who hadn't caught any hint that the lanky boy wanted to give up. Yes, he knew that his fencing classes had been frustrating and that he had been included in the bullying by Carman and his gang, but that shouldn't mean that he would _quit_. Every derisive word from Mårdh, every badly veiled insult from Carman, all they did was making him feel more determined to prove to everyone that he wasn't someone you could just walk all over, no matter his humble height. Besides, he was growing. The growth spurt he had had since arriving had put at least another two inches to him.

Until Martin resigned, Cloud hadn't noticed how valuable it had been to have a friend. He did like Patrick, but neither of them were the type to keep a conversation going, Patrick even less than Cloud, and besides, the raven had friends among his own dorm mates. The result was that now that Martin wasn't there to keep them together they quite easily drifted apart, only speaking in the one class they shared, mechanical engineering.

That meant that Cloud suddenly found himself alone and practically at Irwin's mercy. He didn't much care for the insults, Mårdh's were subtler and far more cutting, but at least he was only subjected to those two hours every second day. Irwin seemed to make a point of being in his face as much as possible.

Additionally, he was making no progress whatsoever with his fencing.

And so it came to be that in the afternoon, when most of everyone else was doing their homework at the library or in class, Cloud was practising the sword alone in one of the training rooms furthest from everywhere else. He didn't care to be interrupted while falling over his own feet, which seemed to happen every time he tried keeping his stance as narrow as Mårdh wanted it. His flow was much better when he was alone and allowed his feet to part properly and his knees to bend.

Of course, practising alone was not to go on forever. Two weeks after he had started, he was interrupted for the first time by a loud, brutish voice usually accustomed to either boasting or insulting those smaller than himself.

"So this is where the little fag's been hiding? Have you been all grief stricken since your boyfriend went away?"

* * *

*Gasp* She didn't, did she? Oh, yes, she did, she ended with an attempt at a cliffie 0.0

NOTE: I could make the instructions for how-to-correctly-use-a-sword more detailed, but I don't wanna. It's enough that you know that the correct stance I used is taken from both rapier, broadsword and katana theory. You stand with your side mostly to your opponent and keep the sword lifted in a straight angle from your body pointing upwards in the direction of your opponent. Your knees are slightly bent, little more than shoulder-width and your off hand is held to the back out of the way.

In comparison, Cloud's style (as shown in FFVII) has... well... a lot of holes XD He's standing with his side to the opponent but his sword is held in both hands in front and his feet are a great deal more than shoulder width apart and knees heavily bent.

Of course the buster sword is a two-hand sword, which makes Cloud's style a _lot_ more sensible... just not when he uses it on one-hand sword practise. I feel sorry for him.

NOTE: Mårdh is another Swedish name. Dh is silent, simply denoting.. uh... the way you stop the år sound and år is pronounced the same way as aa in Maanson (aka like the u in up). It supposedly means Pine Marten and supposedly was a nickname for a man in the army (how fitting XD). (I don't get where they get the 'pine' from, I only see the marten part)

History teacher's named after my own history teacher, who liked me whenever I wasn't falling asleep in her classes XD

You guys may have noticed that there's an abundance of Scandinavian names. Well, I'm Danish, so Scandinavian names are what I know the most of. Besides, FFVII uses a great deal of references to Norse mythology, so I feel permitted.

...I gotta stop with all these friggin long notes.

**Reviews are as ever appreciated! ...How'd you like Mister Mårdh?**


	6. Chapter 5

And I hereby introduce... Zack! Yay! Huzzah!

* * *

Zack Fair, SOLDIER Second Class, was walking down the hallway, just killing some time and amusing himself with imagining how it would sound to introduce himself as Zack Fair, SOLDIER First Class, when the sound of a voice, backed by an overly inflated ego sounded far enough away that it was only because of his mako enhanced hearing he could tell the words clearly.

"_So this is where the little fag's been hiding? Have you been all grief stricken since your boyfriend went away?_"

Zack frowned. That had not sounded like anything but an insult, and aside from the childishness of the wording, insulting people, who were obviously minding their own business (hiding?), was pretty rude.

"_Are you sure you're not the one missing a boyfriend, Carman? After all, you're the one coming all the way out here just to see me. I'm sorry to disappoint you though. Contrary to popular belief, I don't swing that way._" Sarcasm was dripping off the new voice, which was higher and smoother than the other and obviously came from the one who had been there first.

"_You little brat!_" The first voice growled. Or rather tried to but when his voice broke at the last word, the exclamation was rather less threatening than intended. Ah, the virtues of teenage boys. The next words, however, made a chill run down the SOLDIER's spine and he began hurrying towards the room where the commotion seemed to be happening. "_Guys, get him!_" The dull sound of wood meeting wood soon after made Zack break into a run.

He skidded to a halt outside the slightly ajar door of a training room. The sound of fighting could still easily be heard, at least by a SOLDIER standing right outside the room, and Zack surmised that the victim must've been holding his own against... well, however many others there were.

He banged the door open, hoping the sudden sound would simply make them all stop.

At his appearance only one of the four boys looked in his direction; one with bright golden, messy spikes for hair and a slight built, one who opened his mouth in surprise and cried "Zack!" Just before one of the two others (the third was lying on the floor, seemingly out cold) took advantage of his distraction and whacked him over the back of the head with his practise sword.

The small guy's knees gave out and he was on his knees, blinking in surprise before his eyes rolled up and he was falling forward almost in slow-motion. He was out cold before he hit the floor.

Zack rushed forward, just in time to violently wrench the weapon out of the hands of the biggest of the bullies before he could land a hit on the unconscious blonde. The SOLDIER kept the smaller one's hand in his grip, holding just tight enough that the kid would know he meant business. It had only been two years since he himself had been a cadet, his rise to Second Class had been swift in part thanks to the war, but he _was_ a superior officer and while he didn't enjoy waving that fact under other people's noses for the sake of it, he would use his rank when he thought it necessary.

"What's your name and number, cadet?" He asked coldly. War was one thing but attacking a comrade who was down was beyond unforgivable.

"Why should I? Just because you're playin' all high'n mighty. Get lost."

Zack growled an tightened his hold on the kid's wrist, feeling bones strain under his fingers. "A Second Class SOLDIER is asking you a question, cadet. Name and number."

The cadet gulped as he finally recognized the uniform and realised that the unusual luminescence in the older boy's eyes wasn't all natural. "C-cadet Irwin Carman, sir, 033186-06C. I'm sorry sir, I mistook you for another cadet."

Zack nodded and let go, feeling the slightest prick of satisfaction as the cadet rubbed his hand. "Get you comrade to the infirmary." The boy in question seemed to be waking up. The blonde was still unconscious. "When you're all checked up, and I don't expect any of you to be kept there, you will report to commander Walker. I shall inform him of your transgression. You, cadet Carman, will be held responsible for making sure all three of you turn up. Dismissed."

And then, without so much as a glance in their direction, he knelt and scooped up the limp form of the small cadet and left for the infirmary.

He was still muttering angrily about solidarity and camaraderie when he arrived and delivered the boy into the arms of the nurses, who immediately called for the doctor to emerge from the back room. Zack warned them about the other three boys on their way, then left to report to Walker.

- - -

Cloud woke feeling wonderfully lethargic. Like sleeping in late on a Sunday morning and waking up to freshly baked buns with butter and jam. That is, he was feeling wonderfully lethargic until a headache hit him like speeding train. He groaned slightly and turned his head away from the light.

"Oh, he's waking up."

"Doctor, it says in his file that he's latrophobic, maybe..."

"Nonsense, Hella, Manley specifically noted that Strife could control it."

"Yes, but..."

Cloud slowly opened his eyes. His vision was blurry, the room was much too bright, and he had to blink a bit to clear his vision and figure out where he was and why his head hurt as though it had been run over by a rabid chocobo. When he registered that the white splotch hovering over him was in fact a man in a white coat, his first response was to lash out before the instinct to flee took over. He was out of the bed and running towards the door before the dazed doctor or surprised nurse could react.

He had to get out. Panicked, jumbled thoughts of was running rampant in his head, urging him to go even faster, especially as his progress through the relatively small room was like running through jelly and he was going too slow and he felt half blind and maybe there was cotton in his ears because everything felt muted but he didn't have the time to check his ears, he simply had to _get out_.

The door opened before he could reach it and an older, muscular teen stepped through the door.

_Friendly_, his mind supplied helpfully through the jumble of thoughts. _Not enemy_.

And yet when he reached the other teen, he was caught and effectively retrained despite his best efforts to get lose and just run.

"Hey, hey, hey, what's wrong chocobo? You shouldn't be running into people like that. Scratch that, considering the whack you took, you probably shouldn't be up and running at all."

In spite of the restraint exerted over him, Cloud found himself calming as the voice chatted on, not caring what it said, just that it made him feel less frightened.

Zack looked up the second the kid no longer seemed on the verge of trying to make a break for it and asked the room at large; "What the fuck?" The kid was leaning heavily on his shoulder still trembling slightly and more likely than not still woozy, but the SOLDIER thought it best to figure out what had happened before helping the cadet back to the bed he had abandoned.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Zack." Man, he loved the fact that he was on first name basis with all the female staff. "Cadet Strife suffers from latrophobia, fear of doctors, however it was believed that he could control it. Can we ask you to stay? I mean, just until cadet Strife is conscious and fully aware of his surroundings again, of course." She fiddled with her sleeve a little, blushed and looked too damn adorable to refuse.

Zack looked down at the kid still leaning against him. Fear of doctors? That had to have been the understatement of the year, the kid had been terrified, ready to tear down whatever obstacle in the way of his escape. Fear of doctors... yeah, right, like calling Sephiroth 'strong'.

"Where _is_ the doctor anyway?" He asked.

"Uh, well..." She hesitated, shooting a look around the room. The Second Class noted that the three bullies from earlier had left, probably dragging their feet to Walker's office. Good, would've probably only made it worse if any of them had seen the cadet's panic attack, what had Hella called him? Strife? ...That was sort of a very cool name. "Cadet Strife knocked him out when he woke up and found doctor Howe about to check on him."

Zack coughed discreetly, trying and failing to hide his amusement. He remembered Doctor Howe from when he had been subject to the man's attentions after having gotten into a fight or two and the man had always seemed patronizingly overbearing and self righteous.

The nurse smiled shyly, probably knowing what went on in the SOLDIER's mind. "I tried to warn him that the circumstances were different, seeing as cadet Strife was unconscious, but cadet Strife woke up before I could."

So. The kid had woken up and the first thing he did was lash out at a perceived threat. Regardless of whether the threat had been real, that was _some_ reflexes.

"Well, you two take care of the dear doctor, I'll supervise Strife."

While they had been talking, Cloud was slowly calming down. Enough so that when the teen he had been leaning against gently pushed him in the direction of one of the beds, he went on his own. The SOLDIER stayed right behind him, hovering a bit until they both sat down on the edge of the bed.

_So_, Cloud thought. He had knocked down the doctor apparently. That was almost funny except for the fact that the vestiges of the panic that had overwhelmed him earlier was still making him jumpy and search the room for the threat.

"Strife was it?" Cloud simply nodded, his eyes still roaming the room, noticing the two nurses crouching by one of the other beds. "Hey, Spiky, I'm talking to you, didn't your mother teach you to look at people when your talking with them?"

Cloud looked up into a pair of luminous, indigo eyes. Mako eyes. "Y-you're a SOLDIER!" He exclaimed, surprised and suddenly all but forgetting about the rest of the room. It was the first time he had seen a SOLDIER up close.

"Damn right I am, SOLDIER Second Class Zack Fair, at your humble service." He made a little bow from his sitting position, even though the introduction was obviously unnecessary, since the cadet had recognized him on sight before. Pride swelled a little in his chest, maybe he would even soon get a real fan club like the one all the Firsts had? But if Strife was a fan, he'd have to be gentle and not overwhelm him, despite the urge to jump him and just crush him to his chest. Besides, the kid was still looking a little frightened. Wait, if he was a fan shouldn't he already know that Zack was in SOLDIER?

Deciding stuff like that was for later contemplation, he got his prioroties in order. First, calm down the cadet. "So, Strife, that's a pretty unusual name...?"

Cloud shrugged, uncomfortable. "I guess."

"It's pretty cool. Fair's unusual too, but it's nowhere near as cool as Strife. It sounds like a judge's name, doesn't it? Or perhaps a woman's? I suppose it depends on what kinda 'fair' you're talking about." He smiled, reassuring the cadet that he wasn't being resentful or anything, just talking.

"I like it," said cadet piped up. "It's..." _Reassuring. Safe._ "Nice."

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is. I just wish people hadn't called me _Fairy_ back when I was a kid. Can't tell you how many fights I was in because of that nick name." He grinned. "Of course, once I became a cadet and people realised that I was a combat genius, they stopped." Cloud rolled his eyes. "Hey! At least I haven't started any rows since I was ten. They were all started by everyone else." He smiled proudly, knowing he was distracting the smaller boy, who was beginning to regain his colour. He noted out of the corner of his eyes that Dr. Howe was walking, although escorted by the two nurses, to the back room.

"So... your accent's not Midgar. Where're you from?"

"Nibelheim."

"Huh. Never heard of it. Small?"

"Uh-huh."

"Reactor?"

"Yeah."

"Huh, me too. Gongaga." He grinned. The only other country boys he had met in Shinra had fallen out of the SOLDIER program or never even dared enter. "So's it holding true? The small town and one reactor theory?"

"Yup. Nothing else out there. ...Unless you count trees and monsters. Plenty of those." What was it about this SOLDIER that made him feel so at ease and, dare he think it, talkative? The blonde hid a frown.

"Really? What kinda monsters do you have then? In Gongaga we were mostly dealing with touch mes and kimara bugs although if you were really unlucky, you could run into a flower prong. Everything else stayed well away from the village."

"Dragons, nibel wolves and valrons were the most serious threats really."

"Wow, that sounds cool. In a sort of morbid and dangerous way."

"None of those ever actually ventured really close to the village, only lesser, stealthier monsters ever did that, so it wasn't so bad."

"Still. Dragons, man. Wow." He was about to ask some more questions when the door opened and a new set of footsteps entered. Cloud went rigid, his mouth snapping close with an audible click of teeth. Zack turned and nodded at the new doctor, who had entered. Dr. Bowen was a much better doctor in Zack's own not-so-humble opinion. For one, she was a woman, which was always a plus, for another she was incredibly patient and thankfully lacked Howe's penchant for superiority complexes.

"Hello, Ann, you look as fine as ever, are you still insisting that your lab coat isn't tailored just for you?"

"Still flirting, I see. You can't be the one they called me in _on my day off_ to check on, right?"

"Come on, you know that if I was actually really hurt, they'd had me in another section altogether. 'S Cloud here, you gotta check up on." 'Cloud here' had turned pale again although not as bad as he had been. He was continuously shooting glances between Zack, the doctor and the door. "You might wanna read his file first, though."

She frowned, but retreated into the back room where the terminal keeping all the files on the cadets were kept. One of the nurses emerged, not Hella, Judith, and began straightening the bed where Cloud had been until his panic attack and subsequent clubbing of the doctor on duty.

"So... latrophobia, huh?"

The boy looked decidedly uncomfortable and rather embarrassed. How cute.

"I guess we all have them. Irrational fears, I mean."

That made the kid blink and directing a disbelieving gaze at the SOLDIER. "_You_ can't have phobias," he stated, as though it was the most illogical thought to ever have been processed.

"Oh, really?"

"You're a SOLDIER!"

"Yes, I know." He grinned at the continuously doubtful look sent his way. "I'm still human though."

"But... but..." He was flailing, obviously trying to reconcile the picture of an unbeatable warrior in his head with this new revelation. "Then what is it?"

"Can you keep a secret?" The flat stare he received for that almost made him laugh outright. "Spiders."

Strife was staring at him, mute for a couple of seconds. "You have got to be kidding me."

"Would this face lie to you?" His best innocent face could probably get him out of a charge of murder, although obviously he had never tried, but if exaggerating it sufficiently was enough to make the kid try and suppress his mirth with a cough, then he didn't mind looking stupid. "Really. I don't care if it's big spiders, almost the bigger the easier to deal with, really, I just don't like the thought of the small, fast ones... crawling on me." He shuddered theatrically, noting that the kid was hiding another grin with his fist. Well, mission accomplished, Strife had calmed down again.

"You know, I still only know your surname. Isn't it a bit rude when you know my full name and title?"

"Uh..." He was still trying not to laugh, that little runt. "Clou... I mean cadet Cloud Strife, sir."

The SOLDIER grimaced. "Please don't call me sir? It makes me feel _old_. I used to call my uncle 'sir' and he was this huge old man with a beard! Do I have a beard? No. I barely even have to shave yet, I most certainly do not have a beard, so I will not accept you calling me 'sir'. At all."

"Uh, okay, Fai-.."

"Zack. Call me Zack."

"Zack, then." They both smiled, just as Dr. Bowen emerged into the room once again with a clip folder in her arms and nurse Hella on her heels.

"So, I understand you have a rather acute case of latrophobia? At least considering the shiner, Dr. Howe is sporting." She couldn't quite hide the amused gleam in her eyes.

"Uh, sorry ma'am, he surprised me." Zack had to blink at the shift in the cadet's demeanour. Going from grinning and talking with confidence to a SOLDIER Second, he had just done a one-eighty and was now talking in almost hushed tones, hands forming fists before loosening only to become fists again and he kept his eyes firmly trained on the doctor to the exclusion of all else.

"Surprised you?" She asked mildly. If she was trying to calm the kid down, she was not succeeding. His hands were fisted into the covers now, trembling slightly. He was still staring straight at the doctor.

"I was waking up and he was hovering over me. It surprised me. I didn't have time to understand what was going on before he was there."

"Hmm... Manley did write a note that you were controlling it even if that was when you were fully conscious. I'm surprised you had such a panic attack over it though. That's... unusual to say the least. Do you have any idea what might have caused this fear?"

"No."

"No? Most latrophobic people are afraid that their doctor's going to pronounce them dead or the fear's an extension from a fear of needles or the like. Are you cer-..."

"I don't know, okay? When I was five I hit my head and got amnesia and when I woke up I was just mysteriously afraid of doctors. My mum says I never had that fear before, so I just. Don't. Know!" How could he explain that blinding certainty that he was going to be hurt really, really badly? He started when he realised that both Zack, the nurse and the doctor was staring at him in surprise. The nurse was even adopting a look f reproach. Then he remembered what he had just said and more importantly in what tone it had been said in. "Sorry, ma'am," he mumbled. "It's just... frustrating."

"That's... quite alright. I-I understand."

"Can you just get this over with, please? I don't really feel comfortable in medical facilities." The disinfected smell overriding any living smells had been a constant in the back of his mind, regularly reminding him of where he was and why.

Understanding his predicament she checked his eyes and temperature quickly and efficiently while doing her best to avoid sudden movements, as those seemed to make him flinch. He answered her questions of whether there was pain, aching or experiencing a lack of sensation with as few words as possible, although he kept strictly respectful.

"Well, you have a slight concussion, but otherwise you seem no worse for wear. You're gonna have to drink a potion, obviously, and I'd like to keep you here the rest of the day at least, for observation and rest but..." Her predicament was fairly obvious; with Cloud so obviously tense and on edge, there was very little chance he'd get any sort of rest in the infirmary but she couldn't send him back to his dorm alone.

Lucky for her, Zack Fair was there to save the day. "I don't mind supervising." One of the nurses came over with the potion Dr. Bowen had asked for and it was handed to Cloud with a stern stare. The blonde didn't hesitate in downing the concoction.

"Oh, no, we can't ask a SOLDIER to look after a cadet." She looked scandalized at the very idea, not to mention any actual execution of it.

Zack merely shrugged and smiled winningly. "I'm off duty, I have nothing to do and to be frank I was bored outta my pants. I was really only looking for trouble to get involved in when I heard the commotion." His smile turned lopsided, just the right mix of casual flirting and sincerity. It might not work on Angeal, unless Angeal let it work of course, but he had never met a woman he couldn't peg and he had known Ann for some time now.

Angeal was the whole reason he was finding himself so bored in the first place, since the man had left him to go on a mission with Sephiroth. Normally, his mentor would be deployed with himself, however since this was merely a mission to impress the peace delegation from Wutai (or show them superior strength, something like that) ShinRa had chosen to go with its two top dogs.

Genesis was somewhere else in the building, a training room probably, destroying things. Apparently his temper wasn't appropriate for a mission of this sort.

Zack wasn't resentful though, he'd far prefer to stay here where he could do something rather than standing at the back of some stupid diplomat, who wasn't even there to bring peace, just to get the Wutaians to capitulate. The SOLDIER Second knew he'd lose his temper at the pretence. Then again, both sides probably knew that peace talk wasn't the true agenda, it was just an excuse to fall back, regroup and take a breather.

Zack felt his smile was becoming a little strained at the depressing thought process. Dr. Ann Bowen capitulated.

"Just make sure he doesn't sleep in the next five hours. And get him a double serving at dinner, using a potion to accelerate the healing can be pretty tough on your metabolism. Besides, I doubt it'd hurt him." Zack threw her a smart salute before herding the smaller boy out the door. Amazing how he had kept so quiet in there.

"Hey, sorry about, yanno, talking over your head and stuff," Zack apologized once they were out of normal hearing range of the infirmary. "Didn't mean to ignore you or anything." Giving a sheepish chuckle, he placed both hands behind his head, his fingers buried in soft midnight spikes.

"It's okay," the other teen replied in his quiet, smooth voice.

"So... what happened in there? I only came because I heard the Carman kid half the floor away, why'd he come bother you like-" He stopped as he noticed Cloud's glare. The fuck? Oh. "Ah sorry. Didn't mean to imply you were childish." Carman though didn't seem to have much of a chance of actually getting into SOLDIER. Receiving mako shots and surviving demanded a somewhat flexible mind, which was part of the reason they were never administered to clean individuals above the age of eighteen.

"Anyways. Real impressive there, that you could keep all three at bay, even incapacitating one, top o' the class, huh?"

Cloud rolled his eyes at Zack's assumption, wondering what in the world _had_ happened. He was by far the worst in his class. Even if it supposedly was the best class, he still sucked. And he hadn't just been holding the three bullies at bay, he had been _winning _until he was distracted. His entire body was almost singing with elation now that he was away from the infirmary and he desperately wanted to share that he wasn't useless with a sword, it was just that Mårdh made him so damn unbalanced with all his nitpicking. He had just held off _three_ other cadets, and while neither of them were the best, that title was reserved for Fuentes as Mårdh pointed out time and again, they had all received their fair share of praise.

And he had been winning in a three-on-one battle.

But then, it felt a little like bragging to tell the SOLDIER walking next to him, and he somehow desperately didn't want to give the wrong impression and make him go away. Besides, he really didn't know what had happened, he had just reacted, and if he couldn't repeat it...

"It was just... a freak incident," he hedged, thankful that the guy hadn't interrupted him while he pulled his thoughts together.

"A freak incident?"

"Yeah," Cloud nodded. "They underestimated me, so they had lots of openings."

"Hmm." He still sounded doubtful, but let it rest. "So! Cadet. Like being in the army?"

They lapsed into a discussion about army protocol and ways to get around it. Cloud had started out hesitant, knowing that he was after all speaking to a SOLDIER, a superior officer, but his worries about saying too much or being disrespectful was soon put to rest as Zack laughing told him about a teacher he had had, who had been subject to a rather cruel joke combining the man's tendency to always have a glass of water in class and a tasteless, colourless laxative. The SOLDIER insisted that he hadn't been involved as more than a spectator, but that it had been fun to watch nevertheless.

After a little coaxing, Cloud told a bit of his trouble with Mårdh. Zack frowned.

"Always remember to give people the respect they're due, but don't forget that you're due some respect in return. Of course, you can't demand that while you're only a cadet, but you still gotta remember it."

Cloud was genuinely thankful for the advice. It felt... nice, after the almost constant derisive comments he had been subjected to, to be told that he deserved respect. He hadn't really noticed, but the constant barrage had been wearing him down and now he didn't even have Martin to distract him.

They went to Cloud's dorm since Cloud had to rest, something the boy vehemently denied but with Zack on he other end, he really was given little choice. At least the rest of his dorm mates didn't see him being forced to lie down while Zack sat against the wall, since they were still in class or doing homework in the library until dinner.

At dinner, Zack insisted that Cloud followed him to the SOLDIER mess hall, since Cloud wouldn't have to deal with any stress by his comrades. The blond cadet rolled his eyes at the excuse, pretty certain it was because the food for the SOLDIERs were better.

It was more problematic after dinner, as their room saw a great deal more traffic. Zack had collected his sword and a maintenance kit and was absently sharpening, cleaning and oiling, while talking with Cloud or whoever else came into the room. Except the one time Irwin am in. The boy received a smile with far too many teeth, just as Zack was testing the edge of his blade. Needless to say he disappeared quite quickly. Most of the others disappeared rather fast as well, once they realised Zack was a SOLDIER and Angeal's protégé to boot.

Cloud had refused to lie down again and had placed his pillow and covers against his head board, so he could sit comfortably, doing circuit calculations for ME while every so often commenting on Zack's ongoing monologue.

He fell asleep with a smile on his face not longer after Zack had left.

* * *

NOTE: I fucking love Zack. Oh, who am I kidding? Everyone loves Zack XD How can you _not_ love Zack?

Now that that's over with... *bangs head into a wall* I can't seem to get Cloud's characterization down. He keeps wanting to fluctuate between mature and immature, angsty and not-angsty, happy and freaking angry. And the shifts are friggin _sudden_! Ugh. I don't even have these kinda mood swings when I'm PMSing, geez.

Btw, the title is still tentative. You're still welcome to suggest other possibilities.

And now that I don't have to deal with freak OCs (seriously, wtf, Martin just butted in!) I will likely pull the pace down a little, be a little more detailed. It will, however, also mean that less actual stuff will happen in each chapter..

And to Johnny-on-the-spot: I like keeping my chapters short, to tell you the truth. Well, for now at least. Ensures relatively regular updates, you know?

Also. Disabling PMs is rude *pouts* I usually reply to all of my reviewers with cookies and thanks. Which reminds me... where are my cookies?

**Reviews are welcome as ever! I give you cookies! Mmmh, coookies...**


	7. Chapter 6

Cloud's sudden friendship with the SOLDIER was the prime gossip material the next day. As such he had to redirect a lot of questions about how it happened since saying that he had been saved like some maiden in distress was not an option.

Of course, once it became public knowledge that Irwin Carman and his friends were serving detentions for a month, the entire story wasn't hard to piece together, much to Cloud's embarrassment. No one would have believed him if he said he had been kicking butt, especially considering that he had been taken to the infirmary unconscious, so he remained quiet that he had in actually knocked Drake out before he had been knocked out himself. In short, Cloud was keeping even more to himself than usual when Zack found him in the library that evening.

"Biology?" He asked, reading over the smaller boy's shoulder. "Man, You're one of them... science people, aren't you?"

"Mh, just thought it'd be useful."

"Hm, well, biology might, but you were doing mech yesterday. We have a whole army of technicians to make stuff for us. If you care to use money on it."

"I'm sure. But what'll you do when you're standing alone on a road 200 miles from Midgar, your bike broken down and no technician in sight?"

"Oh no. Oooooh no. You're not only a science geek, you're also one of them... foresighted ones." Zack took a step back in mock horror, his hands raised to ward off any possible affliction. Cloud just shot him an exasperated glare.

It was nice though, how it felt like they had been friends... always. Even though they had only met yesterday, Cloud felt no reservations about talking or giving his opinion. Like they were really equals.

"Ah, sorry, sorry, Spike, don't bite me." He grinned and flipped a chair around to sit on it, leaning forward onto the chair back. "So... I can't help you with biology or your mecha stuff, I took communication and geology, but I was _mean_ in tactics and quite decent with materia too. Want me to help?"

Cloud mulled it over slowly, before shaking his head. "I don't want to be accused of only succeeding because you were backing me up. I want to do it on my own."

"What?! Does that mean I can't help you with sword fighting either? You said you had trouble with that."

Grimacing at the sudden vivid picture of him sparring, or trying to spar, with a mako pumped and overeager SOLDIER, Cloud emphatically shook his head. Definitely no.

"Aww." Cloud bit his lip and refused to look at Zack's pleading expression. "But I'm really good with the sword!"

"I'm sure, Zack, but... you're a SOLDIER. And I want to do this on my own."

"Okay, if you're sure. But the offer stands, remember that."

With a grunt of understanding, Cloud turned back to his homework.

"So..." Zack tried, fiddling with a pen. "How _are_ you at all that academic stuff? I remember from back when I was doing it, it was hell. Never had been used that amount of homework in the school I went to back in Gongaga."

"At least you went to school."

"Hm?"

"Nibelheim doesn't have a real school. I think there was one in the village in the next valley, but it was too far to go there and they demanded that you were there every morning. Trekking through the mountains that early and that often was just too dangerous, so we all learned basic reading and math by the mayor, since he didn't have anything better to do anyway. But that was pretty much all we learned."

"Wait. _You_ are telling _me_ that when you came here... you knew nothing but basic math and reading? And you're still here?!"

"Well, I know a great deal about... " _What? Hunting? _Sure he could set up a snare or even catch a rabbit with his hands if he was lucky or patient enough to get close, but that didn't quite cover it_._ "About how to behave in a forest," he finished lamely.

Zack tilted his head, questioning. In truth he had no idea what the cadet was talking about, but he didn't want to hurt the boy accidentally by being callous.

"Well... you know..."He shifted a bit on the hard chair, averting his eyes. "Like... how to walk without being noticed by monsters and not disturbing anything or making noise, uh... how to find bird nests, catch small animals... know where you are..." His voice trailed of, now thoroughly embarrassed.

With his eyes averted, Cloud never noticed how Zack's face lit up as he explained and he was therefore taken quite aback when a muscular arms was suddenly dragging him halfway out of his chair and pressing him firmly up against Zack. "That's awesome, Spike! That's like... crazy useful, even more useful than the mech stuff you're learning!"

"Zack... can't breathe."

"Woops, sorry. Sometimes I forget my own strength." Freed, Cloud rubbed against his neck giving Zack a doubtful look. And he thought training together was a good idea? No way. "But it really is a useful..." Zack gestured, as though that would explain whatever word he was fishing for, "To know, yanno? Especially the walking silent thing. Very useful."

Cloud smiled and turned back to his homework as Zack began a tale of how he wish he had known something like that when he had been on a scouting mission as a Third and been ambushed by a bunch of ninjas.

The story wasn't just boasting, although Zack clearly had gotten out on top despite the ambush, but rather about how he had gotten lost three times, fallen into a mud pit and only saved because the Wutaians had come out to gloat.

"It's a fine example of why gloating's stupid."

Cloud listened with half an ear, humming at appropriate places as he continued his reading. They were dissecting rats the next day, and Cloud needed to know what he would be looking at.

- - -

It was yet another taxing lesson in the sword that Saturday. There was no telling how much Mårdh had been told of the clash between his students, but it didn't change the fact that he relentlessly picked on Cloud's stance. They had progressed to exchanging blows in a semi-planned manner. That is to say, speed was optional as was aim, although they weren't supposed to use any movements they hadn't specifically been taught. Needless to say, Cloud was bruised and limping slightly when they lined up at the end of class.

"I have a treat for you, ladies!" Mårdh barked. "Tomorrow, I have one of the simulation rooms booked the entire day. I expect everyone to meet me at nine am in front of room 28-b, no excuses. I'll hang a timetable for when exactly you'll be up, however you're required to stay and watch your classmates.

"You will be fighting real monsters that can do real harm, but I don't believe that chuse tanks will be much of a problem... for most of you." The sergeant didn't even have to run a cursory glance over Cloud for everyone to know who he meant. "The monsters will be released one at a time with enough time between them that you can cut one down before the next will come at you, however if you don't, you will have several attacking at the same time. I will only end the simulation, should you complete the mission or fall unconscious." Another nasty look at Cloud. Huh, so he _had _heard about it. Some of it at the very least. "The simulation will last for fifteen minutes with a new chuse tank every thirty seconds. Dismissed."

Talk started up immediately as Mårdh left, excited exclamations about the simulation and what a good experience it was going to be. Cloud just hurried to their next class, firearms, not even waiting for his classmates to file out before rudely pushing past them.

It might not have been Mårdh's intention (although the possibility wasn't ruled out in Cloud's head) but the instructor had presented a rather difficult problem. Cloud had no doubt that he would do horribly in the simulation, as the day's class had obviously shown him that he had not magically been gifted with sword fighting abilities after Thursday's tussle. And if the simulation was to be kept on until he lost consciousness, he would be waking up in the infirmary again.

He angrily disassembled the Winchester riffle, cleaning it quickly and had it reassembled again before the first of his classmates came in. In the shooting range he imagined Mårdh self-righteous little head where the target was and while he still wasn't hitting dead centre, it would still have killed the sergeant, had the fantasy been real.

He had to find Zack and humiliating as it was, he had to make sure the SOLDIER would be there when he eventually woke up.

- - -

"But... you were better than those other three cadets! Surely you can handle _chuse tanks_." The disgust at the low-level monster was rather evident, and Cloud was too high-strung not to be annoyed.

"That was a _freak incident_, I told you! I'm _horrible_ with a sword, it's gonna be a miracle if I don't stab myself and even more of a miracle if I actually manage to hit anything!" His voice broke in typical teenage fashion halfway through the sentence. Cloud kicked the closest wall.

"Hey, easy, easy. I... I don't know if I can make it. Angeal, my mentor, should be coming home tomorrow morning and he's probably been as bored on that peace delegation as I've been holed up here. He'll probably take me training or something..." All the air seemed to go out of the small, wiry form and he suddenly looked much younger, looking away. "I'll ask, though, okay?" Nodding, the cadet turned away, not quite willing to let the older teen know how very nervous the entire prospect made him.

Who knew what he would have done if Zack hadn't been there the last time to halt his escape? Cloud had a faint idea that he might never have stopped running and where would that have gotten him? Unlike the rest of the cadets, he didn't venture out into the city except on the daily morning races and those had a very definite route. In any case, cadets leaving the Shinra Building without permission was as good as discharged or at the very least removed from the SOLDIER program.

Damn it. He hoped whichever doctor on duty would pay heed to the fact that he was latrophobic or it was going to be a mess.

- - -

It was clear that Mårdh's intent was humiliating him as much as possible. The timetable plastered on the door to the simulation room made that abundantly clear. Adulio Fuentes was first, probably to set a good example, and he was next, for the opposite effect.

Cloud began stretching. He had started warming up already an hour ago, knowing that he would most likely be either first or last. First to serve as an example or last to serve as the butt of a joke. Well, he wasn't exactly first, but it was close enough and being five minutes early meant that he still had at least twenty minutes to keep his muscles warm and subtle in.

Fuentes arrived half a minute later, checked the timetable as well and threw Cloud an unreadable look before he too began stretching. The rest of the class came in bulk following that and Mårdh himself arrived just in time to start the simulation to let Fuentes in on the dot. Cloud kept stretching.

There were cameras installed inside the room feeding four monitors outside. Cloud noticed that the video was being recorded as well. Great, his humiliation was going to be _taped_. Additionally, Mårdh seemed to be able to comment on the progress through a microphone next to the monitors. Not that he said much to Fuentes of course.

Even stretching, Cloud noticed how Fuentes easily dispatched the chuse tanks one by one. They really weren't all that fast, an with Fuentes precise attacks he only had to hit them once, maybe twice. Thirty seconds to dispatch one was really overkill for the limber youth.

The environment inside the chamber had been transformed to that of some sort of industrial waste ground, building materials and machines scattered throughout. Well, he wouldn't have any advantages there either.

With a sigh, Cloud accepted the weapon Mårdh handed him with a sneer, barely noticing that it was a real sword, with a real edge. It was no heavier than the steel enforced wooden one he usually practised with, only sharper, slimmer.

He tried not to think of the times he had whacked himself over a hand or shin with the wooden one as he entered the simulation, faintly hearing Mårdh's praise of Adulio behind him before the door shut and the simulation was started.

He shuffled into a ready stance to meet the first monster, wherever it was going to come from, only to be interrupted by the sergeant's biting voice, telling him to stop spreading his legs like some whore.

Cloud grit his teeth and did as he was told.

The chuse tank attacked him from his left, forcing Cloud to spin causing him to lose his balance and miss. He was hit with a claw just as e went down in a heap. At least he was still holding onto his sword.

He got up and tried a swing at the small monster, only to be told to gather his feet again. What the hell was wrong with Mårdh? He was in a fight! He wasn't supposed to be interrupted. The correction made him hesitate long enough for the chuse tank to land another hit and Cloud grit his teeth. It _stung_. He could maybe take five or six more of these attacks before he'd lose consciousness.

And then there were suddenly two chuse tanks in front of him. He cursed violently, venting frustration as he backed away. He did his best to keep the form Mårh had tried to teach him, but his feet kept not being where he expected them to be and he kept almost falling over them. A lucky stumble had him avoid a simultaneous attack from the two chuse tanks and then there were _three_.

Cloud turned tail and ran, ducking through a pipe of some sort, furiously trying to ignore the derisive comments from his instructor about what a coward he was.

He grit his teeth, noticing that there was now six flying, over-sized seahorses out there. The truth of the matter was that he simply could not defeat them with the level of skill he possessed. What was he supposed to do? Mårdh reminded him that the simulation would not be stopped unless he completed the mission.

There were twelve monsters out there now. Shit, had he zoned out or did time really go that fast? Adrenaline was pumping in his veins and his vision was somehow shifting between more focused than usual and almost swimming.

He was going to be found by the monsters any minute and then he'd be attacked, helpless as he was with that damned sword and he would wake up in the infirmary with some stupid ass doctor hovering over him with all the best intentions in the world.

Cloud grit his teeth. There were more than twenty monsters. Where the hell had the time gone?

"Get the fuck out there, you stinking little pussy, or I'll release something worse into that room!"

With a snarl, Cloud bolted out of his hiding spot, angry at himself for trying to hide and angry at Mårdh for so thoroughly disregarding his pride. He was reminded that the rest of his class was out there as well, watching while he had been hiding like a lost chocobo chicken. Growling, desperately in need of something to vent on, Cloud turned to stare down the dozen or so chuse tanks attracted by the noise. At the very least, he could club the damn things.

He steadfastly ignored the corrections to his stance and his grip and every fucking thing he did as he snarled again and attacked.

And it was so easy.

The sword he had was still too short and light, but he could make up for that as he ploughed through the monsters, making them disappear left and right, easily ducking attacks and dealing out counter blows. Somewhere he was aware that Sergeant Mårdh was still trying to make him follow instructions but he couldn't care less and he was laughing as the last monster fell, winking into nothing.

Smiling brightly he exited out the door to the shocked expressions of his classmates. They took a step back as he approached and he tilted his head wondering what had gotten into them.

The slap was completely unexpected and almost threw him to the floor. His head spinning, Cloud fixed icy eyes on his instructor, resentment flashing through the blue orbs. "What the..."

"When I give you an order, cadet, you will follow it! I don't care how many officers you spread your legs for to even get _into_ this class, but don't think that just because you're sucking SOLDIER cock now, I'm going to be any more lenient. _I'm_ not sharing in their faggot pedo fantasies! I demand respect and I will not stand for insubordination."

Cloud was staring at the sergeant, mute with shock. The insults thrown had always been cutting but this... he had actually accused him of... of trying to _sleep_ his way into SOLDIER. And... and he had called Zack a paedophile.

That was crossing the line. Realising the sword was still in his hands, he tightened his grip and raised the tip. Mårdh almost took a step back, had already placed one foot behind him, when he realised that he was conceding to a cadet. In front his entire class too.

He swallowed, knowing it for a sign of weakness, but unable to help himself. Even with his cheek turning red after the slap he had dealt, the look in the boy's eyes was deadly. "Are you going to attack me?" He cursed himself for actually being proud that his voice was steady. Cloud never moved a muscle. "If you attack, you know you'll be discharged, even if you can't land a scratch on me." Of course he couldn't. The kid was horrible with a sword, what had just happened on the monitors was just a... a freak incident.

Narrowing his eyes, Cloud weighed the words. They were true damn it all. Nevertheless there was no way he could stay watching the rest of his class go through the simulation right next to Mårdh for another four and a half hours. With a disgusted sound he turned, placed the sword in the pile by the door and walked stiffly down the hallway.

"Cadet Strife, you were never given permission to leave!"

Cloud paid him no heed.

Adulio Fuentes watched him leave. Well, that had been interesting, to say the least. Cloud had finally been pushed past his limit. Both in the simulation room and again now by Mårdh. Strangely it seemed like the insults to himself hadn't affected the teen quite as much as the insult to his new friend. And he had been on the verge of attacking their superior officer, there had been no doubt about that. Adulio cast another look at the monitors. He might even have succeeded in doing some really serious damage. Yes, very interesting indeed.

- - -

Cloud was beating a hole through the punching bag when Zack finally found him. He had had a training session with Angeal in the morning, but the SOLDIER First had understood Zack's plea to go check up on his friend and so, he had been given leave earlier than he normally would.

But Cloud wasn't in the infirmary and according to Judith, had never been there either.

Which of course begged the question of where the blonde _was_. He had easily spotted the class still waiting outside one of the simulations, but Cloud hadn't been among them, and so Zack had gone in search of the erstwhile cadet.

It took him half an hour to come upon the training room Cloud was in, venting on the sand bag. He was covered in sweat, panting and still fuming when the older teen caught his fist.

"Easy there, you're gonna break something."

Cloud just threw him a frustrated look and tried to pry his wrist lose.

"Uh-uh, that won't work on me."

"Let me go!"

"No."

"I said-..."

"And I said no," Zack interrupted. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Don't give me crap. Tell me. Something about the simulation? You didn't destroy all the monsters?"

He was somewhat surprised at the humourless laugh his questions caused. "Oh, I destroyed them alright, but that's not good enough for lord sergeant Mårdh, oh no, because I didn't destroy them in the _right_ way." He turned towards Zack, letting him see his left cheek for the first time. It was still gaining in colour but the bruising was obvious nevertheless.

Zack cursed. "He did this?"

"Who cares if he slapped me. I'm just angry that he managed to talk me out of decapitating him."

"So... you still think you need to blow off some steam?"

"The second you let my hand go, that bag's gonna be so many rags."

The SOLDIER hesitated. His first instinct was to take Cloud to the infirmary, but he didn't seem to lack focus and he wasn't being overly illogical or anything else to cue someone in that he had gotten another concussion. He just seemed angry.

"Okay. But only if you promise me to tell me _everything_ that happened."

"Fine." Zack let go of Cloud's wrist.

- - -

Sergeant Mikkel Allan Mårdh was fuming.

After that little runt had left him, he had barely been able to pull his mind together enough to supervise the rest of the class, although he had managed of course. Not that anyone aside from Adulio was exceptionally note worthy, they were decent enough, true, but Adulio was a genius. The little runt should never even have been allowed into his class, falling over his own feet at the simplest instructions.

And the kid had had the audacity to threaten _him_! The kid couldn't take constructive criticism if it was spoon fed to him with whipped cream and sugar. Well, he would soon make sure the bastard's dreams of ever joining SOLDIER were dashed. As soon as he got the tapes to Commander Walker and explained the situation, the kid would at the very least be removed from the SOLDIER program if he wasn't discharged altogether.

The sergeant barely held in a chuckle at the thought of Cloud Strife being permanently excluded from the ranks of ShinRa.

- - -

Angeal was enjoying a cup of tea with Sephiroth in his office, discussing (that is to say ranting in polite sentences) about the obviously failed peace treaty when two insistent knocks sounded on his door.

Angeal frowned. He shouldn't be getting any additional paperwork until the day after and he was entitled three days rest until he would be sent on a new mission. And Zack would never knock.

Across from him, Sephiroth raised an eyebrow. The dark-haired First sighed. "Come in." He could always throw whoever it was out again with a polite request to wait until Monday, when he had had some sleep.

Walker, the main supervisor of the cadet training stepped through the door. He was just about to say something when he noticed the general there.

"My apologies, general, I hope I didn't interrupt something important?" The apology and formal language seemed misplaced in his gruff voice, but then, that was pretty much the effect Sephiroth had on people. He waved it away, taking another sip of his tea.

"What _did_ you come here for, Commander Walker?" Angeal asked politely.

"Right." There was a briskness in his tone now. "I just had a visit from one of our instructors. Sergeant Mårdh is teaching the most capable cadets this year, although according to him, he got one student, who's far below the rest."

"So? Just put the cadet in another class?"

"Well, I looked at the comments made by his martial arts instructor, and according to _him_ cadet Strife is doing really well. The thing is... Sergeant Mårdh want cadet Strife discharged or at the very least removed from the SOLDIER program on charges of attacking him."

"...A cadet attacked an instructor? I still don't see why you're here, Commander."

"Well... the cadets did a simulation with chuse tanks earlier today. I was wondering if you would take a look at the videos? It's rather... interesting."

"How so?"

"I'd rather you judged yourself instead of me telling you what to look for. I could be wrong."

Angeal nodded and gestured to his needlessly high-tech computer. Commander Walker popped in a memory disc, opened a video program and scrolled fifteen minutes into the recorded film.

Leaning closer to have a proper look at the four screens, Angeal noted that Sephiroth, too, were leaning in. He turned the monitor so they could both see as Walker stepped back.

The first part of the video was, to say the least, rather humiliating. For the cadet. His instructor's constant barrage of not-quite veiled insults and straight out name calling was a far cry from the subtle threats and insinuations, which was all the two Firsts had ever had to deal with. Add to that the fact that the cadet apparently couldn't stand on his own two feet without stumbling and then even turned tail for three _chuse tanks_. It was rather obvious why the instructor wanted him out of his class.

The cadet was hiding out of sight from the cameras until almost the very end.

When he emerged again, he could have been someone else except that Angeal doubted that _anyone_ else could have hair quite like that. But the cadets movements were suddenly fluid, almost elegant. And highly deadly.

Angeal looked on in pure shock as the chuse tanks were decimated with precise and powerful strikes. The cadet manoeuvred among the monsters with an agility and skill Angeal had never seen in a cadet, not even Zack.

Faintly, he noticed that the instructor was still yelling about posture, grip and stance.

"Three minutes and forty-two seconds," he heard from Sephiroth on his right.

"Pardon?"

"It took the cadet three minutes and forty-two seconds to annihilate thirty chuse tanks. Imagine what he could have done with a longer sword and mako enhancements."

Angeal blinked and refocused on the screen. No new cadet had come into the room yet. He picked up the mouse and scrolled back to where the lithe blonde had entered.

The video started again, and this time he did notice. The cadet had had no problems with balance at first. In fact it was almost impeccable. Until, what was his name again, Sergeant Mårdh began commenting on his stance. He bit his lip, watching as the cadet corrected his stance to something he was _obviously_ uncomfortable with and he watched as the cadet unconsciously reverted to the stance he preferred only to be told to correct it again.

"That instructor is ruining a cadet," the First murmured, casting a glance at the general, who nodded. They didn't say anything for the next twelve minutes, waiting for the cadet to emerge again. Even having seen it before, the cadet's elimination of threats was astounding to say the least. He obviously lacked experience in picking targets, there were a couple of times when only reflexes saved him from a claw, but he made up for that with speed and agility.

He was just opening his mouth to ask Walker about the accusations Mårdh had levelled at the cadet when his door slammed open an a livid Zack Fair entered.

* * *

...Mårdh doesn't like disobedience XD Woops.

Please review :D


	8. Chapter 7

Ugh. This chapter is a little bit shorter (like a page or so) from the usual (usual being around ten pages). Please excuse me, it just seemed like an appropriate place to cut it off. And you'll get it a day earlier! Yay!

NOTE: Zack ranting is hard to write DX He's not normally the ranting sort of person, I don't think.

-

Bursting into Angeal's office, Zack didn't even notice that there were other people present before he went to lean across his mentor's solid wood desk to stare imploringly into dark grey, almost black, eyes.

"Tell me you can do something about Cloud's sword instructor. Because if you can't, I will, and I think my way will be a lot more bloody than yours."

If Zack hadn't been staring straight into his eyes, if he hadn't seen the absolute conviction that the young SOLDIER would do exactly as he had just implied, Angeal would have thought it a joke. Zack had never relished in bloodshed. He also had never avoided a fight, but then there was a huge difference between not backing down and going out looking for it.

"And why should I do something about Cloud's instructor?" Cloud... Cloud.. the cadet Zack had spoken of this morning? The one who... Angeal cast a surreptitious look at the monitor. What were the chances?

"Because Cloud's instructor is a douche! Cloud completed the mission, but does he get any praise? Noooo, he gets a slap across the cheek for not doing it the exact way he's been told and then he's accused of sleeping is way into the class and Cloud almost attacked him, thank the Planet he didn't actually do anything, but that wasn't even because he was mad about the slander on _him_, but whatever. It doesn't matter. What matters is that Mårdh's been slandering Cloud ever since he started that class and I know instructors gotta be tough, but there's a limit for decency, yanno? There's a limit."

Zack stood up, running fingers through his hair, then noticed the general and the commander there for the first time. He coloured slightly before shooting a distracted apology in the officers' general direction, obviously still very much upset.

"Zack." At least he knew exactly the kind of voice to commandeer Zack's attention when he was upset. "This Cloud, what's his last name?"

"Strife, why'd you wanna know?"

Instead of answering, Angeal focused on the general and commander. Indeed, there was a limit, maybe not in ShinRa policy, but very much among these people. And luckily for Cloud, these people were in charge.

"Zack Fair," the general interrupted, before Zack could ask again. "How much do you know about the confrontation between Cadet Strife and Sergeant Mårdh?"

"A fair bit. As much as I could get outta Cloud before he clamped up."

"Can you report what you've learned?" Ah, good call Walker, Angeal silently applauded. Making Zack report instead of explain would make it much easier to sort through it. A report had to be logical, chronological and contain no personal feelings.

Zack bit his lip, then nodded and got into his 'report' stance; feet placed evenly on the floor at shoulder width, hands clasped behind his back and gaze directed slightly upwards. "Cadet Strife and his class, I don't know the class code, had been commanded by their instructor, Sergeant Mårdh, to meet outside of simulation room 28-b. Each cadet would take part in a fifteen minute simulation containing chuse tanks. The mission was to eliminate all the monsters, preferably within a time limit. The cadets had been promised that the simulation would only end with all targets eliminated or if they themselves were unable to continue." He hesitated, then added "Unconscious. The timetable had a cadet Fuertos or something up first, according to cadet Strife the best in the class. Cadet Strife was second.

"According to cadet Strife, he succeeded in finishing the mission within the time limit, however it was not to Sergeant Mårdh's satisfaction. I am not sure where this dissatisfaction lies. As cadet Strife came out from the room, he received a slap on his left cheek. Sergeant Mårdh then proceeded to accuse..." He took a deep breath. Staying distanced to report was all well and good, but every time he thought about what Mårdh had said, or rather what he had pieced together that Mårdh had said, it made him want to tear something apart.

"I am not exactly sure of the wording, however, from what I could piece together, it would seem that Sergeant Mårdh accused cadet Strife of... of doing "_favours"_ in return for getting into the advanced class. He also accused cadet Strife of doing the same favours for a SOLDIER he befriended recently, implying that said SOLDIER was a paedophile.

"Apparently, this made cadet Strife snap and he raised the sword he was still holding against Sergeant Mårdh. Sergeant Mårdh reminded cadet Strife that should he attack, he would be discharged. Cadet Strife dropped his weapon and left, against the order of Sergeant Mårdh, however I am convinced that it was for the better."

"For the better?" Angeal inquired.

"Yes, sir. When I found cadet Strife around noon, he was in the process of decimating a sand bag. That was roughly three hours after the incident."

"I see." Then, indeed, it probably had been for the best. If Cloud had been able to annihilate a room full of monsters, low-level as they may be, in less than four minutes, it was doubtful that an instructor would fair much better.

"Who was the SOLDIER Mårdh slandered? The one Strife befriended?"

The mood in the office changed abruptly as the three others looked at the commander in bafflement. Angeal's lips twitched slightly.

"Me," Zack answered.

"Oh." Walker eyed the teen, then snorted. The kid was probably not even legal himself, when Zack had said a SOLDIER had been accused of paedophilia, he had thought it was one of the older SOLDIERs. Like Angeal and Sephiroth's generation.

"Well, it's not that Cloud's not a good-looking kid, but I just don't swing that way, yanno? Too scrawny, no curves." He waggled an eyebrow.

"Thank you, Zack. Please do not elaborate." Angeal could have sworn that _he_ certainly hadn't been as preoccupied with the fairer sex when he had been a teen. "So Strife did not actually attack?"

"No."

"Hmm... that speaks well for him."

"So... are you gonna tell Mårdh off or something? I mean... you can't just let him get away with this."

"Indeed," Angeal agreed. "Sephiroth, what do you suggest?"

"It would be in SOLDIER's best interest to keep Strife. Mårdh can be replaced easily, but can you replace a cadet of that calibre? That's doubtful. However... if we give him special treatment, it could fire back on us if he comes to expect it. I suggest you discipline him for threatening a superior officer and either remove Mårdh or Strife from the class. Clearly they do not function well together."

"No. No, I think that's abundantly clear. Walker?" He asked, ignoring Zack's mumbled 'of that caliber?' They could show the video to Zack later.

"I'm not much comfortable letting him stay. The instructors are encouraged to pressure the cadets, true, but we don't want someone to snap completely. The situation with Strife could have been a disaster."

They all shifted uncomfortably. Angeal thought back to his own teenage years. He had been obsessed with honour, Zack would probably argue that he still was but that was beside the point, he had been a lot more volatile about protecting it back then, not understanding that other people really couldn't take your honour from you, but you could let them if you didn't watch your step. Thinking about how he would have reacted to Mårdh's accusations was not pleasant.

He shot a glance at at the silver haired man sitting across from him. Sephiroth would have cut the man down then and there or he would have had the man discharged depending on the mood he had woken up in.

Zack spoke up suddenly unexpectedly. "Cloud won't expect special treatment."

That drew everyone's attention back to the present. "He won't? How can you be sure?"

"Because I offered to help him with his homework and with sword fighting, 'cause he said he was having trouble, and he rejected it. Said he wanted to do it on his own. More likely than not, he'll be offended you're even discussing this."

"You offered to help him?"

"Oh, don't look at me like that, Angeal, it's not like I was gonna do it for him, just help a bit, yanno, offering pointers and stuff. Anyway, he rejected the offer right away."

"This Cloud Strife seems more and more promising," Sephiroth commented absently. "How did you get to know him, Fair?"

"I was bor... er, off duty and just taking a walk last Thursday when I heard a commotion. Three of the other cadets had found Cloud in a training room. They offended him, Cloud replied in kind and then they attacked. Spiky was holding them off until I got there, but, uh, I distracted him when I got into the room and, what's his face, uh, Carman, whacked him over the back of the head. Cloud lost consciousness. I stopped any further retaliation, got Spike to the infirmary and reported to Commander Walker.

"When I returned to the infirmary, Cloud was, uh, Ann, I mean Dr. Bowen asked if I could watch over him for a few hours, since Cloud wasn't, uh, comfortable in the infirmary and he needed rest because he had a concussion."

Clearly, Zack hadn't told them everything, the sheer number of 'uh's made that clear, but the boy wasn't prone to withholding information that could be important, so Angeal refrained from pressuring him. Not that he wasn't curious.

"So... To get this discussion back on track, what exactly are we gonna do about Sergeant Mårdh?"

"Fire him." Sephiroth's answer was prompt and not the least bit unexpected.

"But we can't just fire him. Everyone's gonna hear that he had a tussle with a cadet and we can't let the entire army think that we showed a _cadet_ special treatment."

"Well, we're not."

"What do you mean?"

"Strife will get disciplined for threatening an instructor. We'll make sure it's harsh enough that no one thinks we're favouring him, however since Sergeant Mårdh was so kind as to tape his own incompetence in teaching, he'll be sent back to the front. They'll start up again tomorrow anyway."

"General, is that really a good idea? You know the survival rates of non-SOLDIERs."

"Yes, I do." There was a decidedly self-satisfied gleam in the man's eyes. "We'll spread the word of how atrocious he was as an instructor, of course."

"So," Angeal ventured. "If we're sending him to the front lines tomorrow, who's going to teach the class?"

- - -

Clenching and unclenching his fists, Cloud waited at the back of the training room that next Tuesday morning. His hands were cramped, feeling weak and useless after having peeled who knew how many potatoes the previous day. He suddenly had an entirely new sense of respect for the kitchen staff, who were feeding five hundred cadets every day, if you included those from earlier recruitments. And he had a month of this to look forward to? Sighing, he tried loosening his overly tense shoulders.

For some reason, the rest of the cadets seemed restless. Antsy. Like this wasn't just any other horrible lesson in sword-fighting. Cloud sighed again. A month worth of detention serving kitchen duty wouldn't be enough for Sergeant Mårdh. This was going to be hell.

And Zack was preoccupied now that Angeal was back from mission. They hadn't talked since Sunday at all, Cloud hadn't even seen him. Hopefully that wasn't a sign of how it was going to be forever. Surely Zack would come talk with him. Now Martin was gone and Patrick had drifted away... and in either case, he felt a lot more comfortable with Zack than he ever had with the two others, despite the fact that he had known them longer.

Maybe it was that Zack just made everything seem brighter?

Rolling his eyes at his own ridiculous thought process, Cloud turned his attention back to the other cadets. Their restlessness seemed to be peaking as the time for Mårdh to enter neared. Had the whole fiasco that Sunday really made such an impression on them? Or were they just looking forward to Mårdh's inevitable humiliating comments?

The depressing line of thoughts were abruptly interrupted when a tall, muscular man with black swept hair and the uniform of a SOLDIER First Class entered, closely followed by... Zack?!

More used than not to military conduit they filed into a line, standing at attention. Zack grinned, looking like he might poke someone for standing so stiffly, and made the entire class shift nervously.

As though the entrance of a First Class and a Second Class for their sword lesson wasn't nerve-racking enough.

"You might have heard it already, but your previous instructor has been sent to the Wutai front as it came to the attention of his superiors, that he would be able to serve ShinRa Corporation better there. I'm Angeal Hewley, this is my protégé Zack Fair, if you didn't recognise our uniforms, we're both SOLDIERs." The man sent the nervous cadets a reassuring smile but none of them seemed to even notice it. Heaving a sigh, he continued with the formalities. "I'll be teaching your class until an appropriate teacher can be found." He paused. Carman's whisper about how lucky they were to get a _real_ SOLDIER to teach them, how they would be learning real combat now, was barely heard by those next to him. In the military you learned to speak low enough that the instructor didn't hear you unless you _liked_ doing push-ups.

However, Irwin Carman wasn't used to dealing with mako enhanced instructors. Angeal bore down on him immediately.

"You think you're lucky to have SOLDIER instructors?" Not waiting for a reply, the First continued. "SOLDIERs have a tendency to forget exactly how much the mako enhancements does. That means they either think that everyone else is weak as a baby or they think everyone's as strong as they are. The first kind tend to die. The second... Even if you know that mako enhancements make you stronger, faster, more enduring than normal people, the enhancements done on you make that strength, speed, and endurance so much a part of you it's hard to imagine people without it.

"Lucky you got a SOLDIER to teach you? I'm gonna work you harder than you've ever been worked your entire life." And with that reassuring remark, he ruffled Carman's hair and turned back to address them all again.

"I've spoken with your other instructors and I've arranged for you to stay here so I can test you one by one. Since I don't know how long it's going to take for each of you, I just slotted the entire day. You'll be let off for lunch, of course, I'll warn you in time to warm up before you're on. Questions?"

A boy with dark hair, not quite black, and eyes that hinted at Wutai origins raised his hand.

"Yes?"

"How will you test us?"

"I'm glad you asked." Zack started grinning and even Angeal's smile twitched, as though he was fighting not to mirror his protégé's wolfish expression. "You'll each fight Zack until I'm satisfied I've seen the extent of your abilities."

"How..." Another cadet this time, too shocked to remember to raise his hand. "How are we supposed to survive that?"

"Don't be silly, I'm not just gonna give him a sword and turn him lose like some rabid dog. Zack has better control than most of the rest of SOLDIER, contrary to what he himself claims, and I know his strength intimately, since I taught him."

"Oh, stop it, Angeal. Your flattery is making me blush and in front of the cadets too! It's so embarrassing."

"As though you'd be embarrassed by something as small as that. Go get yourself a training sword. You're warmed up, right?"

"Yup."

The slight banter between the two SOLDIERs made the class relax, but only minutely. They were supposed to fight a SOLDIER?!

- - -

It would have been dull, if it hadn't been because half the cadets had thought that when Angeal had admonished Zack to only go at 30%, it meant they be able to over-power him. Clearly, none of them had taken technique or experience into consideration and Zack easily defended from any blows until he got a nod from Angeal and attacked, keeping it slow enough that they could deflect, but fast enough to pressure.

Irwin had by far been the funniest, thinking to try and make up for the humiliation of their very first meeting. Luckily for everyone involved, especially Irwin himself, Zack had stayed professional although his expression had closed off and gone unusually cold.

Cloud, of course, was to be the last one up.

As Radburn found himself with the dull tip of a wooden sword against his throat, Cloud made his way to the pile of dented, enforced wooden sticks and hesitated. Mårdh had demanded that he use the small one that even after a month still felt weird and light. Its steel counterpart had been usable that Sunday, but he had clearly felt a... longing for a longer, heavier blade.

He made his choice.

Zack was rolling his shoulders when he came over. The SOLDIER was sweating heavily after the day's exercise, but he didn't seem to be breathing heavy, nor did he seem tired. Fixing Cloud with his clear, blue eyes he grinned.

"Angeal, am I still running on thirty?"

There was a pause as Angeal considered for a short time. "Make it fifty."

"Yessir!"

The enthusiastic exclamation wasn't needed to get the attention of the rest of the class. Even if they hadn't already been watching the fights, Angeal's quiet, authoritative voice was the kind that automatically garnered attention. Everyone had heard that Cloud was fighting the SOLDIER at a higher level.

The cadet swallowed and got into a defensive stance. Like he needed the additional pressure.

"Ready?" They nodded, saluted and in a flash Zack was there, not allowing the until then usual exchange of letting the cadet strike first. Without thinking, Cloud sunk deeper into his stance and parried. He could feel the shock of the blow run up his arms and somehow, from somewhere, a smile broke out. This was good.

The weight of the practise sword in his arms, the weight in his hands... It strained his wrists more than the smaller one, it was more unwieldy, and yet... it was how it should be.

Zack attacked again and he ducked under the blow, retaliating with a swipe from below, barely blocked by the SOLDIER although once again the collision sent a shock through his hands and up his arms.

Ignoring the slight loss of feeling at the impact, Cloud drew his blade back, thrusting forward with a hit against Zack's elbow. It was parried again, and this time Zack retaliated with a blow to the smaller boy's midsection. Cloud parried, barely having time to puzzle over how light that blow had been before he had to parry another on. A feint, then.

When next Zack attacked, Cloud avoided the swipe, turning around and almost hitting Zack in the back although the Second Class made an awkward guard over his shoulder.

They were both grinning now, circling. When was the last time anything had felt this good? _Never_, he decided. He had never felt this good. Avoiding, attacking, parrying. Ducking under a blow to his midriff (had he really just done that?!) Cloud rolled over his shoulder and came up with swipe at Zack's legs. The stumble was brief and righted immediately, barely even an opening, but it was satisfying nonetheless.

There wasn't a sound in the room, aside from the rhythmic clash of wood and tap of limber feet. It was as though everyone had stopped breathing to watch the display. And it was a display. Where Zack clearly stood his ground, secure in his own power, Cloud was all over the place, trying to find an opening or create one. He had been hit once on his upper arm and once on his hip, but the mistakes he had made to acquire those bruises had been corrected immediately and not repeated.

Not quite as speechless, though still silent, Angeal was plotting down notes. The kid was creative and immensely fast, ducking under a blow to the stomach... that was extremely risky, but coming out of the roll with a swipe that made Zack stumble! If it hadn't been someone with a SOLDIER's reflexes, that move could have easily swiped the legs away under the opponent. If the boy didn't cut his enemy's legs right off.

After another couple of seconds, Angeal noticed something else. They were speeding up.

"Zack, slow down."

"Huh?"

"Slow. Down."

"Heh. You think I'm the one setting the tempo here? I'm just following Spiky, and sorry, but I'd rather not get hit over the head just to stay at fifty."

"I see." That was a very logical and reasonable explanation, he figured, although it begged the question of how fast the cadet really was. Focusing again on the blonde, Angeal was just in time to notice a blue light flickering over the boy before he jumped into the air. "Zack. Out of the way!"

But the cry was needless as Zack had noticed the glow as well and prudently retreated just in time to avoid the downward slash. "Shit," he gasped out, looking at three gashes, hardly over a foot long but still _there_, in the hard wood floor, pointing like an arrow at the place where Cloud's wooden sword had broken. "Fuck, kid, a limit break's a little overkill for a training session, don't you think?"

"A limit break?" And he sounded if possible even more shocked than the two SOLDIERs felt right then, standing with the broken piece of wood and metal and staring at the deep gashes in the floor. "But... you don't get limit breaks until you've been in real battles?"

Taking pity, Zack walked over and put his arm around the shoulders of his confused friend. "Not normally no. Guess you're special, huh? That's some limit break though, were you upset that you couldn't win over me? Never would've taken you for a sore loser, but I guess you gotta have something to make you less perfect."

"Less perfect? What do you mean?"

"Well, you're doing great in all your subjects, aren't you? I got a look at your scores, since I'm assisting Angeal and yeah, your scores were bad in sword class until today, but I think we just proved that as a fluke. I still can't believe you pulled a limit break on me, though. If I hadn't moved aside, that would've _hurt_."

"I'm sorry."

"Naw, don't worry about it, I know to get away when someone breaks their limit."

While his apprentice calmed down the cadet, Angeal examined the gashes in the floor and the remains of the training sword. While the steel reinforcements were hardly folded, making it rather too soft for a real sword, breaking the sword clean through was an impressive feat. And making gashes in the floor with a dull edge... that was no less impressive. True, they were so rough around the edges, it looked more like someone had tried to bash them in rather than cut them, but still...

He couldn't let the Strife kid practise with the rest of his class mates. Obviously, breaking his limit had been just as surprising for the petite blonde as it had for everyone else, but even the possibility that it might not be entirely controllable... He sighed. What to do with Strife? And he had to warn Zack that if his friend ever broke his limit again with a real sword in hand, he had to get much, much further out of the way.

"Class dismissed."

–

Okay. I admit it. The whole test was just to make Zack and Cloud fight XD The limit break just... sorta happened. I feel like I'm losing control of my own story :( First Martin and now this. The limit break is Braver, described as it's shown in Advent Children, although in AC the gashes were like... three meters long XD

Final Fantasy wikia is a godsend. Seriously.

For my reviewer HazzaTL3: Thank you for your reviews, but you have private messaging turned off, I can't reply or answer your questions! *pouts* Although I suppose this chapter did answer.

Reviews are as welcome as ever (I got so many for my last chapter, I'm totally floored!)


	9. Chapter 8

Uh... Views expressed by bullies are not shared by me.

NOTE: Okay, some concerns people have: Yes, Cloud will regain his memories. No, I will no tell you when or how :D Won't be too long now though. I'm running out of things I had Planned to Happen Beforehand.

This is mainly friendfic between Zack and Cloud. There will be some romance between Zack and Aeris and Cloud and Tifa, but Zack and Cloud are in focus. And there's a plot involved. Uuuuh!

Also, I made a mistake in my last chapter :( Folded steel is easier to break than not-folded steel, cause not-folded steel will bend while folded steel is harder and therefore more brittle (and easier to make really, really sharp). Tch.

* * *

Ducking a volley of bullets from the Wutaians' cursed weaponry, the spear guns, Mårdh swore violently. The entire concept of a riffle and a pole arm fixed together was ridiculous, but effective. And they needed the huge weaponry to fight SOLDIERs.

The feeling of warm liquid splattering over his hands and neck warned him that the person behind him hadn't ducked in time and with no scream or even a curse, it was safe to presume he would never get up again. No matter, it wasn't like he had liked the whiny bitch anyway.

As long as he himself survived, that was good enough. If he survived, he could exact revenge on that little pipsqueak of a no-name cadet. Who could have guessed that the SOLDIER he had whored himself to had had contacts so close to the general?

But he would survive this. There was a reason why he had been appointed instructor of the best class, after all.

- - -

Angeal was watching Zack inhale his dinner, a small smile playing at his lips as he himself took another bite of broccoli.

"Man, Angeal, you cook the best dinner! Thanks for inviting me."

"You're welcome, if you stop scarfing it down like that."

"Oh, sorry. Guess I did work up an appetite after all." He slowed down, but only marginally.

"So, what do you think? Of the class."

The younger SOLDIER paused, considering. And this time he actually finished chewing before speaking. There were a lot of things that he 'thought'. "The class is... acceptable considering they've only been working for a month, but if they're the ones with the most prominent physical scores... they should have been better. They've only been taught a handful of possible hits and parries compared to what they need to know, it's like they've been held back."

"Yes, and on top of that, non of them, except Carman and Fuentes, tried to do something different while they fought. They haven't been taught sword _fighting_, only sword moves."

"Carman only did it to get back at me. And it was hardly creative or thought out. Just trying to club me."

"Indeed."

"Fuentes got talent, though, nice agility and if cultivated, he could learn to think on his feet. Gotta teach him not to think too deeply though, he almost forgot where he was, trying to outwit me." He sniggered.

"What about Strife?"

"Now _that_ was interesting."

"Don't exaggerate."

"I think I was around 65% there, speedwise, before he pulled that limit break, but it's hard to calculate when you're in the midst of battle. I didn't raise the strength much though."

"He was creative too."

"Almost got me with that swipe at my legs. Who the hell dives under a hit to the mid-region anyways?"

"Small people?" Angeal's humorous retort earned a snort. "He was skilled too. Used a number of different hits and combinations."

"Yeah. Didn't react too well to my own combinations though. It's like he's got all the skill but none of the experience. Learned fast though, like... almost like it was a reminder."

"A reminder?"

"You know, like he had forgotten and was being reminded. He didn't make the same mistake twice, that's some awfully fast learning."

"It doesn't say anything about any previous experience in his file though. He's told you anything?"

"What, me? No way, we haven't even known each other for a week, not like we're sharing life stories, yanno?"

"Guess not. You should ask him though. We might even get his teacher to come over..."

"What if he's self-taught?"

"Self-taught?"

"Yeah, or just really talented?"

"Zack. You were talented, Strife is... definitely taught. Even if he was self-taught, he would have had to fight against someone else to learn the level he's at right now."

"You think so? But he said he was really bad with a sword. He thought he was gonna be unconscious by the end of his simulation last Sunday."

"That's true, you did mention something like that. …hm, being taught previously would explain it, though."

"Explain what?"

"Why Mårdh's instructions so thoroughly destroyed Strife's equilibrium, and if Strife was intending to follow Mårdh's instructions, there's plenty of reason why he'd think he wouldn't complete the mission."

"Then why didn't he?"

"Didn't what?"

"Follow Mårdh's instructions? If he was prepared to sacrifice his well-being to follow Mårdh's instructions, and I find that really crazy by the way, why did he hide? And why did he come out of hiding only to discard every single one of Mårdh's instructions?"

"That, I would very much like to know."

- - -

Writing yet another extracurricular history assignment (and wasn't early tribe legends just way interesting), Cloud tried to find any logic in what had happened the last few days.

So.

He had quite unexpectedly survived that Sunday's practise. Not only had he survived, he had completed the mission in... very little time. He wasn't sure how long had been left when he finally emerged from his hiding spot, but there had been more than twenty monsters in the room. Meaning he had at least done it in less than five minutes. And more importantly, he had done it by doing not what Mårh had told him to, but just what felt natural.

And thinking of Mårdh... the hateful instructor had apparently been sent to the Wutai front. Why? Because he could serve better there than here, Angeal Hewley had said. Did that mean he had skills that would serve in Wutai or that he was somehow discredited as an instructor? And how the hell had that happened anyway? Had Zack told someone that Sunday? No, even if Zack had told someone, there's no way they would send an instructor away just for offending a cadet, the very notion seemed ludicrous.

Everyone else had known before Angeal stepped into the room. Gossip had probably started the previous day when he had been in the kitchen and he had totally missed it. No wonder his class mates had been so shifty, they must have known Mårdh was gone and wondered.

And apparently their new teacher was a SOLDIER First and Zack was assisting. No, temporary teacher. And Zack was probably only assisting because he was Angeal's protégé and he would have nothing else to do while Angeal was occupied.

He had no doubt about Angeal's words that he would be working them to the bone. He was still feeling lethargic after the brief fight with Zack and then kitchen duty on top, despite the fact that he had done nothing else the entire day except look at the other cadets' fights. Maybe doing a limit break will do that? He didn't want to know what he would be put through now.

He swallowed reflexively. He had pulled a limit break. On Zack. The magnitude of that incident was still trying to sink into his mind. Thank whatever deity had been watching over them that Zack had moved away, because Cloud had known instinctively that he would have broken through any guard done with a practise sword. Possibly even a real sword.

Then again, it was the first rule they had learned in the tactics class; if someone breaks their limit, you get away from them. Limit breaks were tricky, it literally meant that you went beyond your body's limits and you could never tell exactly how far beyond the limits a Breaker would go. They had been told that some limit breaks could even get the better of a fully armed SOLDIER.

Zack had clearly, luckily, known that.

That didn't change the fact that he had done something extremely dangerous. He had just been getting frustrated because no matter what he did, Zack was just that little bit faster, even as he had been getting more used to the weight and movement of his sword and his own speed had increased, Zack had been going faster to avoid a hit and when he felt that he just couldn't go any faster, that... feeling had entered. There was no telling where it had come from, suddenly it was just _there_. A feeling of... promise. And he had reached for that promise and moved through sheer instinct.

At least now he knew what it was, that promise, and could avoid it if it was uncalled for.

It still begged the question of _how_ he had gotten a limit break. General belief was that you got those when you had been in mortal danger. Limit Breaks were an instinctual reaction to the perception of a threat you couldn't beat, or so they had been taught. Then again, since they were so closely bonded with emotions they were also notoriously difficult to study, so maybe there really were ways to get it that didn't involve danger. The situation with Zack had hardly been dangerous. Angeal was right, Zack had excellent control.

Heaving a sigh, he closed his book. It was way past curfew, much too late to be thinking about this, and the only reason he had been allowed to stay in the library was because he was so familiar with it by now. Even the old guy who had hated him was warming up. Now he just had to return to his bunk without being discovered and he could sleep. Piece of cake.

- - -

He really should have known that everything wouldn't be so easy. Of course his fight with Zack was the new gossip topic of choice and general consensus seemed to be that Zack and he had either planned the entire fight beforehand or that Zack had been giving him lessons in secret.

Clouds silence on the whole affair wasn't helping as people seemed to take it as an unwilling confirmation rather than a plea for privacy.

Zack's comment about his scores hadn't gone entirely unnoticed either and with some surprise, Cloud found that people actually minded that. He hadn't realised that due to his silence, people still thought that he was half-heartedly limping after everyone else in his academic classes and more importantly, he hadn't realised that people would resent him for doing well in, well, everything now.

"They're like carrion birds, just waiting for you to drop you guard." The lightly accented baritone almost made Cloud jump. Fuentes had slid into the seat next to him. "I shall sit here, if you don't mind?" Cloud just shook his head and continued eating. He had always found Fuentes accent particularly strange, the way he made every e sound high and short and rolled on his r was foreign in a way the typical Midgar accent, with its round vowels and tendency to squeeze words together, just wasn't. Or maybe he just got used to the Midgar accent because half of everyone used it around here.

They ate in silence.

"Are you always this... quiet, or is the hostile atmosphere affecting you?"

"What?"

"I was wondering if you usually don't speak with our dinner companions or if you're feeling stressed from all the unwanted attention?"

"Uh... I didn't know I was supposed to be talking."

"I see." Adulio mulled that over a bit. He had come over, trying to wheedle information out of the younger boy, but obviously the blonde wasn't prone to simply spill just for a chance to boast. If he was, there would have been no reason to come over in the first place. "Are you seeing your SOLDIER friend, Zack Fair, tonight?"

"Zack? Uh, I dunno."

"You don't know?"

"No."

"But aren't the two of you... acquainted?"

"So? Why'd you wanna know in the first place?"

"Well..." He couldn't very well say that if any secret training was happening, he wanted a part in it. It would sound dishonest. "I was wondering if you would like to study together?"

That almost made Cloud choke on his water. "S-study?!"

"Yes?"He had never seen such a shocked expression on his dorm mate before, it was rather funny. "I assume that if Fair spoke the truth about your scores, you will not hamper me and it would be less tedious studying with a partner."

Cloud thought back to when he had been studying with Martin and Patrick and had to agree. "I have kitchen duty until half eight though. You wouldn't wanna wait that long to do your homework."

"Ah, yes, I had forgotten about that, but we share biology tomorrow and I can wait to do that, at least."

Cloud shook his head in detached wonder or maybeexasperation, it wasn't quite clear, maybe both, probably both, as he took is tray to the dish trolley before going around back to report for his detention.

- - -

It had been surprising that Adulio had asked to study together. It was even more surprising that when Cloud entered the library to do his homework, and this time hopefully finish before curfew, Adulio was sitting at his usual table. Waiting. For him.

Adulio was one of the few people, who had held himself far out of any social cliques, despite people trying to befriend him. He had always been friendly but distant, almost professional in the way he dealt with the other cadets, always polite, never quite patronizing, yet always seeming authoritative. Even Irwin, who went out of his way to seem like the alpha male in their dorm, seemed to have a grudging respect for the tanned Latino.

That might be because Adulio was among the oldest of the cadets, even counting the older years. He just had that "don't mess with me" vibe a sleeping griffin might have. In comparison, Cloud thought his own vibe more resembled that of a starved and ruffled kalm fang. A small one.

Vibes didn't change the fact that he had homework to do though.

He sat down, placing his papers and writing utensils softly on the table. "I'm surprised you waited."

"I said I would, didn't I?"

"Yeah." Finding his notes on the rat he had dissected that Saturday he began writing, comparing his notes to the ones in the book, making foregone conclusions and writing theory that he really hadn't needed a scalpel and a dead animal to know.

"You really are not much of a talker," Adulio commented, not knowing if he should be offended at the blonde's indifference.

"Martin said much the same. What do we have to talk about anyway? We've never spoken except to point out each other's faults when we sparred."

"That isn't quite true."

"It isn't?"

"You asked me once if I had finished Tsung's _Theory of Swords_."

Cloud raised an eyebrow in doubtful inquiry. "Does that even count?"

"Why shouldn't it?"

Cloud shrugged, conceding the point, and returned to his report.

"Did your rat seem unusual to you?" Why was it that Cloud was so difficult to get to talk? Didn't the kid know basic social behaviour at all?

"Unusual?"

"Some of the other cadets insisted their rat was mutated."

This earned a snort of amusement. "Probably just wanted attention."

"I suppose." The taller boy eyed the smaller, who was back at his report, oblivious to the world for all the reaction he showed as another pair of cadets went into a rather heated discussion about the merits of double-edged swords versus single-edged until they were shushed by the librarian on duty. There had been nothing but cold derision in that last comment. "So, you don't wish for attention?"

"Why would I?"

"Why wouldn't you?"

"Because the only kind of attention I seem to attract is the negative sort." He brushed a finger along his left cheek, outlining the slight bruise lingering there.

Adulio lifted an eyebrow. Was the blonde blind, deaf _and_ stupid? "Are you telling me that you don't wish for Zack Fairs attention? Lieutenant Hewley seemed to like you well enough as well, as does most of the rest of our teachers, except for Oernstrup. I don't know about the teacher you have in your other optional subject, but regardless of that, you are not only attracting negative attention."

The raven didn't much indulge in such gestures, but the blonde's surprised blinking made him seriously consider facepalming. He really was blind, deaf and stupid. Well, Adulio corrected himself eyeing the half done report Cloud had been working on, blind, deaf and stupid when it came to people at least.

He was about to make a comment on this, when the reason he was here in the first place suddenly plopped down in a chair across from him.

"Man!" He exclaimed as though a Second Class SOLDIER turning up in the cadet library was perfectly normal. "You guys are totally out of luck, Angeal's gonna kill you."

"Why?" Cloud asked, continuing his report as though this was perfectly normal.

"Because _I'm_ tired after working with him, and if _I'm_ tired with all my ridiculous enhancements and stuff, you're just doomed. I swear, the guy gets off on making people keel over." He leaned forward, resting his head on the table. "Guy's good though, gotta hand him that." A fake snoring sound began emanating from the melodramatic teen.

"Stop that Zack, you're in a library."

"Aww, but I'm tired."

"Then go to bed."

"Can't."

"And why's that?"

Zack lifted his head. "I couldn't speak with you yesterday, 'cause I was training since I apparently wasted the entire day on you guys, but Angeal wants to know who taught you sword-fighting before you came to Midgar. There's nothing in your file. We wanna know."

The other cadet, who had apparently been forgotten when the SOLDIER arrived, tried to stay as unobtrusive as he could. At least that answered one question; Zack hadn't taught Cloud.

"Uh... I haven't been taught by anyone..."

Zack yawned, barely getting his hand up to hide it before he flashed tonsils to the room. "Then who've you been fighting with?"

"No one?" The little cadet seemed slightly unsure of the situation, biting his lip and stubbornly focusing on his report. "I never even touched a sword before. Unless it was before I was five." That was a joke, Adulio thought, judging by the tone, although he wasn't included, obviously.

"No, I don't suppose you'd have mastered that level of technique at that age," Zack responded, giving Cloud a reassuring smile. "Ha. And Angeal refused to believe you were just talented. I knew you were something special, Chocobo."

The pencil over Cloud's report paused. "Chocobo?"

"Yes? No one ever called you that before? Anyway!" And that was probably a smart move by Zack, distracting the spiky-haired boy before he could decide to be offended. "Hi! Adulio, wasn't it? Good to see Spike's got friends."

"Uh." He wanted to say that he had never really talked with Cloud before that day, but Zack didnt wait.

"You got talent too although you think too much, gotta learn to just react, yanno? But no worries, Angeal will teach that. Probably beat it into you if nothing else."

"Thank you. I suppose."

"No worries, no worries," he continued in sing-song falcetto, picking a pencil and starting to twirl it around his fingers. "Angeal can teach you anything about anything."

Adulio turned to Cloud. "Is he always acting like this?"

"Mmh, not usually this bad. Normally he actually makes sense. Just ignore him."

Half an hour later they finally convinced the SOLDIER it was past his bedtime.

"I still have trouble believing he's actually a Second Class," Aduio admitted, looking at the door they had almost forced Zack to leave through.

"Why? SOLDIERs are people too, just... overly strong and can hear your heart beat."

"I suppose. However when you read of them, they're always described as... dignified."

"'Cause you only get to read about SOLDIERs like General Sephiroth. I think I once saw an article about Angeal and one about another SOLDIER First. G-something."

"Genesis Rhapsodos the other Lieutenant General."

"Yes, him." Cloud closed his biology book and put it away, drawing up two helicopter spec sheets.

"You're done with your biology homework already?"

"Hm? Yeah we were only supposed to write five pages, right?"

"But even so... we've been here for barely an hour."

Cloud shrugged and began mapping the specs. "I gotta learn these by heart, and there are a lot of components in a helicopter. I also wanna see if I can guess why the Belle-99 specs are so different from the standard rotor craft. And tonight I would like to actually go to bed at curfew, if Irwin will let any, at least."

"I... see." No, he didn't. Not really. The whole idea seemed ridiculously ambitious. None of their teachers so far had expected them to think for themselves, just drilled knowledge into their heads and expecting them to remember it. Adulio had always supposed the 'why's came later.

- - -

Zack was juggling with two swords the day after, as he followed Angeal into the training room. He had already filled the First in on what he had learned, or rather not learned, the evening before and now he just couldn't wait to tell Cloud some really good news! He twirled the smaller of the two weapons around a wrist, then threw it in the air, only to catch the other, his normal SOLDIER standard sword and do a few twirls with that.

Juggling swords were difficult when they were different sizes. And the cadets were looking at him in sheer awe, which was a great boost for his ego. Now, if only he could borrow the Buster Sword off of Angeal, then he could really give them a show.

"Attention." The First's calm voice ruined any such ideas though. "I've evaluated your skills at the sword, and found your main weaknesses. First of all, Mårdh seems to have held you all back quite a bit. Intentionally or not, it's unacceptable. Aside from that. Carman, don't let your emotions ruin your judgement, you need a clear head to defeat an opponent, especially one with superior skills. Faulkner, you gotta work on your foot work, Fuentes, don't think too deeply or you'll forget the enemy in front of you, Hyde, you need to use more tactics, Ivanov, you have trouble..." Cloud wasn't the only one trying to conceal surprise as Angeal picked the entire class apart one by one. "...Strife, try and predict instead of just reacting when a strike comes, oh, and follow Fair. Surrey, you should..."

Zack made a gesture with his head, motioning for Cloud that they were leaving immediately. Cloud bit his lip, wondering what was going on as he followed the Second Class out and into another, slightly smaller, training room stripped of any furniture or equipment that may have been there.

Smirking, Zack threw the smaller of the swords at Cloud, who caught it easily. "We're gonna fight, the two of us," Zack explained. "Real swords, no armour. If you pull a limit break again, the scratches in the floor probably won't be just a foot long. I hope you can control yourself."

Cloud swallowed.

"I'll go as fast as I need to defeat you, although I won't put more strength or weight behind it than I did Tuesday. Ready?" The cadet nodded stiffly and Zack couldn't hold back a smirk. "Don't suppose I need to warn you, but scratches and a fair number of bruises are to be expected from this kind of training." And with that they began.

It was entirely different from that Tuesday, Cloud quickly found. Even if Zack was still controlling himself and only just using a little more speed than Cloud was, he had suddenly decided to use his feet. Footwork, Cloud concluded, was a bitch. Zack had been good while standing his ground, moving around made it all but impossible to hit him.

Cloud found himself defeated within the first five minutes.

"Not bad for someone with no mako. Again."

He earned a slice across his forearm that bled a thin trail down to his wrist before the blood coagulated. And was defeated again. With a new tactic, Cloud noted and tilted his head. Zack smirked.

He spent the rest of the class getting his ass kicked, earning another gash across his shoulder and one across his thigh, and bruises all over when Zack decided to smack him with the flat side of his sword. And every time he was defeated, Zack decided on a new tactic.

At least he didn't aim for the head.

He could barely even hold the handgun, much less aim at a target four hundred feet away once it came time for firearms practise. The recoil only made it worse. So typical that they had been handed a bigger, more far-reaching gun the week when he would be beaten to death by a stupid Second Class.

"Are you alright, Cloud?" Adulio asked, coming up after class. "Your aim was unusually bad."

Instead of a verbal answer, Cloud just sent him a baleful glare. Zack and he had come into class at the very end. They had _seen_ his arms. Or what was left of them.

The Latino raised an eyebrow. "What _were_ you and Zack doing?"

"Well... I was getting beaten on and Zack was doing the beating disguised as sparring."

"You were fighting? Truly?" He sounded more amazed and just a bit jealous than concerned.

"Adulio. If you wanna switch places, I won't mind. Seriously. Zack's bad enough when he's standing still, when he starts using his feet, he's impossible."

"I can only imagine," Adulio sighed wistfully, earning himself another glare.

"So, Wonderboy's unhappy with the special treatment?" Irwin interrupted from behind. Cloud just rolled his eyes and continued into the mess. Shooting an exasperated glare over his shoulder, Adulio followed.

Unperturbed, or maybe just stubborn, the loud boy sat down across from the other two.

"Come on, how long've you been spreading your legs for Zack, to learn anything?" Cloud remained stubbornly close-mouthed, refusing to rise to the petty insult.

Adulio, however, didn't have any such reservations. "Don't be ridiculous, Carman. In fact, Zack was wondering as well."

"Zack? Wondering... what?" The idiot seemed unable to comprehend the sentence.

"How it came to be that Cloud became so talented. He seemed to think Cloud might have had some training before he came to ShinRa."

"That's bull. You know how bad Cloud was with a sword until Zack turned up. The SOLDIERs lying."

"If Zack lied, then it would have have been easier for him to simply not bring up the subject. Besides, he was asking Cloud where he learned on behalf of Angeal Hewley. I see no reason for him to lie about something like that to his own mentor."

"Uh... Cloud's still doing favors for'im! Or Mårdh wouldn' of been sent to Wutai!"

The sound of gritting teeth could heard even above the din made by the rest of the cadets, and the two semi-quarreling teens cast a look at the topic of their discussion, sitting all but forgotten next to them. "Zack would _never_ accept something like that! Don't insult him!"

He got up and stalked over to drop the remains of his lunch into a waste bin before walking out on stiff legs.

* * *

Yay for fake helicopter names XD

Oh, and you guys should look up Masamune on wikipedia. There's a very interesting legend I might reference later. And when I say might I mean most probably will.

Reviews makes me happeh! ^_^


	10. Chapter 9

Ugh. This one just wouldn't quite flow -_-; Gah! I wanna go to the exciting parts!!! So yeah, sorry for the lateness And then I got frustrated and found out that Sleeps With Coyotes wrote FFVII and I adored her FMA fics and I'm not really generally much for slash in FFVII-verse for some reason but _daaaamn_. She might have me turned just the littlest bit XD This is still not going to contain slash though.

* * *

"He's gonna be a _beast_ when he gets his shots!" Zack exclaimed enthusiastically.

"Oh?"

"You know, he started out being defeated in, like, five minutes, and that's really good anyways for a cadet, right? I mean, against a fully trained SOLDIER, even if I am going easy one him. But after two hours, less really, it took me almost fifteen minutes to corner him. And he's bloody stubborn too." Pride warred with amused exasperation at that. "Won't accept defeat unless you have him pinned, I swear."

"That doesn't surprise me." Not after the kid had pulled a limit break for a training lesson. Sore loser, that one.

"Shrewd as an old elfadunk too, he caught on after the second time."

"I see." It was really kind of funny, the way Zack seemed eager to boast about his friend. His pup had never been boastful, had always seemed rather disparaging of people, who felt the need to boost their ego by telling everyone else how good they were. Obviously the same rules didn't apply to boasting about other people's accomplishments.

If he let him, Zack could probably keep going for the rest of the night.

"I really don't know how long I can keep it up, yanno. I'm not generally a tactics sorta person, besides there are only so many ways you can defeat one guy."

"Oh, really? Sephiroth might disagree with you on that." He grinned. Zack's expression of dismay really was nothing short of priceless.

"I can't believe you just compared me to _Sephiroth_!"

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Because Sephiroth is, well, Sephiroth!" He gestured emphatically. "SOLDIER extraordinaire, a tactical genius, strategical genius, sword-fighting genius, in short! All-round genius. I'm just, what did you call me, oh right! "Talented"." He inflected that last word, making quotation marks in the air and grinned, all good humour.

Angeal shook his head, still amused. "I see no reason why you shouldn't try to be just as good, you wanna be a hero, don't you? If Cloud Strife really is as good as you say, then I see no reason why you shouldn't be able to learn something as well." Leaning back he just watched the range of emotions going over Zack's face. It truly was astounding how many emotions the Second Class was able to express and it was... truly refreshing when you dealt with the general or Genesis on a regular basis. Zack hadn't developed their guards and Angeal hoped he never would or ever have reason to.

Zack finally settled on an emotion, somewhere between extremely pleased and slightly surprised. "You think I could become as good as Sephiroth? Seriously?"

"Seriously. Don't get me wrong, you are nowhere near and you probably won't ever be able to wield the Masamune like he does, but you're a different kind of fighter, so you shouldn't aim to. What are your strengths and what are your weaknesses? You should aim to make your strengths better than anyone else and your weaknesses so minimal, they won't be used against you."

"I see. Better all 'round it is!"

- - -

Every single cadet in ShinRa knew that Cloud was getting special treatment by now. Angeal had of course explained that they couldn't risk that Cloud lost control of a limit break if he was sparring with the rest of the cadets, but it was generally speculated that Cloud was just too good.

The speculation divided into two theories; that Cloud was so good and therefore it would be useless for him to train with the rest of his class or that Cloud was getting so good because he was being trained separately. The agreements seemed to split between those who envied him and those who'd rather avoid the periodic bruising and shallow cuts he received when he trained with Zack.

As it was, Cloud was the one who was the one most surprised when he was moved to a more advanced class in both biology and mechanical engineering.

Surprised and a bit annoyed that he was going to have to catch up again.

- - -

Blocking a punch to his face, he drew a hand back to retaliate and had to avoid another hit, this time to his midriff. He threw his fist forward at the place where, he blinked, where Cloud _had_ been, but his lithe opponent was already crouched on the floor, ready to sweep his legs out from under him.

Adulio hit the floor hip first and rolled but either he wasn't fast enough or Cloud had known where he was going, because he rolled straight into a fist, smashing into the floor terribly close to his face.

Cloud was grinning above him.

- - -

There was something truly calming about the regular rhythm kept in most of all weight training exercises. Back and forth, up and down, whichever kind of exercise you performed, whichever muscle group you were working on, the rhythm had to remain steady and the movements precise. Depending on how much weight you pulled, you could cause some serious long-term injuries to your body.

Cloud was currently working aerobic muscle on his legs, which basically translated to endurance training. Relatively low weight, many repetitions. Running was good for this, except running only really trained so many muscles. He needed muscles to be able to stay in a low stance for as long as possible. Training with Zack over the past month had clearly shown him that and now that he was free of kitchen duty, he had the time to spare. Irwin's constant comments about how scrawny he was had absolutely nothing to do with it.

Which led him here and to the leg press.

"Oh, is the little whore trying to better himself? Ya really think dear Zack will fancy you just 'cause you get a little muscle on your scrawny ass?"

Of course, expecting to be alone was just too much to ask for.

"The fuck!" Irwin exclaimed as he neared. "Oi, guys, take a look at this! Ha, I take more in a bench press!"

Rolling his eyes, Cloud continued the steady rhythm of push and give. The three No-Brains continued their ridicule, trying to get a rise out of the quiet blonde.

"Don't you guys have better things to do?"Breathe in, retract legs, push, breath out. "I mean, I know this isn't my business," but then neither was it their business how much weight his legs could stand or for how long, "but aren't you all behind in the academic classes?"

"Psh, as though those matter. As long as you're a good fighter, they're not gonna care how well you know the company's history or if you can put together a chopper."

"If you say so." All the firsts were more or less known for their intellect though, was Irwin really that stupid? Of course, this was Irwin, so it might not be all that far-fetched that he really was.

"It's not like you _friend _ever passed the academic classes."

Cloud blinked. They were talking about Zack? "Yes, he did."

"Come on! Are you telling me that idiot can actually read?"

Cloud blinked again. "Are you, of all people, questioning Zack's ability to read?" The idea was so ludicrous Cloud couldn't muster the incentive to be angry.

"Whaddya mean 'of all people'?"

"Well, you're not exactly a shining example of intelligence and wit." He was still too flabbergasted to hold his mouth, or he would simply have grunted something non-committal. With a start he realised that his rhythm had come to a halt. He began again, counting in his head. He had at least made fifty before Irwin interrupted him.

"Oh yeah? And I suppose a little farmyard nobody like you would know." Grunts laughing.

That was actually a clever response. By Irwin's standards. "I suppose the fact that even a 'farmyard nobody' like me can see it isn't speaking in your favour." _Why_ had he let himself get dragged into an exchange of insults again? Reacting in any way with more than grunts couldn't possibly end well.

"Hey, shut up, loser!"

"Yeah, shut up!"

Cloud eyed No-Brain #2 and #3. He had no idea what their names were and frankly he didn't care. He had wondered once or twice about why they just let Irwin run the show, but then, Irwin was bigger than they were and they weren't intelligent enough to realize they were in bad company.

He sighed and locked the machine so he could get up. Dismissing the two grunts he stood facing Irwin, eyes narrowed. Maybe the constant name calling and derisive comments really was getting to him, but obviously his relative lack of response hadn't been discouraging enough.

"Call your lackeys off, Irwin. Their wit's even duller than yours and that's saying something."

"What, don't think you can handle us?"

"Is that an insult to me or you? Don't you think you can handle me on your own?"

"Oh yeah? Well, you're just little slut wanting to suck Fair cock!"

"Isn't that an old insult already? You can't figure out anything original?"

"Ooh, you're just so sad because Zack won't give it to you."

"And you're fucking stupid if you think that."

"Hit a sore spot, did we? Don't worry, whore, I'll let you suck mine."

Cloud looked at the idiot for all of three seconds, trying to judge if he had actually heard right. Deciding than Irwin actually had said those words to his face, he spat on the floor, barely missing Irwin's toe. "That is the single most disgusting idea you've ever had!" For a while, wit had left, taken over by sheer disbelief and a a feeling of nausea. He looked away briefly, trying to dredge up an image of something, anything, less trauma inducing than what Irwin had just... suggested.

He missed the pointed look passed from Irwin to his two lackeys. When they both kicked him hard at the back of his knees, he was completely unprepared so when his knees buckled, he ended on them in front of Irwin, now staring a great deal further up than he was before. The snarl that broke out was entirely unrestrained.

"Come on, Blondie. Jail bait like you're just waiting for proper cock." But as Irwin reached out a hand to get a hold of the blond spikes, Cloud ducked even further, and swept out a kicked aimed precisely at the larger boy's ankles.

Rolling just far enough to not be in immediate reach, Cloud rose in a crouch, ready to attack at the first weakness he saw. He had never felt so absolutely disgusted in his life and he was going to make sure that Irwin would feel it. He smirked. The kick had brought Irwin down, and probably with a sprained ankle to boot.

The two grunts took a second too long to digest the situation, which hadn't exactly gone as they expected. Cloud was on them fast, delivering a black eye to one before they realised that they had gone too far this time. The other received a split lip, and then Irwin was up again as well. Cloud backed off a little in a defensive crouch, hoping they wouldn't have enough sense to surround him.

Unfortunately his hopes were dashed as Irwin quickly motioned for the two to go to either side, and Cloud cursed in his head. Irwin might not know real wit if it bit him on the nose and danced a tango in a purple thong, but he did know fighting.

To some extent, Cloud mentally corrected himself. Neither of them had been fighting against a SOLDIER for a month and he had noticed how, even if those sparring sessions were exclusively with sword, that it had begun aiding him in his bare hand fighting too, the mental exercise of calculating moves and devising tactics working both with or without a weapon. Even Adulio couldn't defeat him any more, although of course that was one-on-one.

So with three-on-one, he'd have to be a bit more careful.

Or a lot more aggressive.

While Irwin had obviously figured they'd have a better chance if they surrounded the blonde, he had never had an opponent good enough that any further tactics were necessary. True, they had been taught to synchronise and coordinate attacks, in theory, and obviously Irwin and his cohorts didn't much care for theory.

Cloud easily dodged three simultaneous hits at his head, kicking up, he hit on of the grunts under the chin while the boy was still withdrawing his first for another attack. Barely blocking Irwin's kick in time, and thanking the gods that Irwin couldn't put full weight and strength in it due to his ankle, Cloud dropped himself to the floor, rolling backwards, right past another punch from No-Brain #3.

Coming up again he noted that the guy he kicked was probably down for good. Which left him with only two enemies, one with a twisted ankle and one with an eye already swelling shut. He rolled his shoulders briefly, feeling sort of elated from the knowledge that _he could take these three down on his own_.

He didn't wait for the two brutes to attack this time, instead leaping forward and delivered a short but powerful punch to Irwin's solar plexus. He blocked the wild swing Irwin sent his way and focused on the last No-Brain. Irwin would take a few seconds to get his breath back which would give him time. He jumped out of reach of a sweeping kick, then jumped back in, too close for the buff teenager to kick with any weight behind it thus making it all but ineffective.

Blocking two consecutive punches, and noting the rising desperation from his opponent, Cloud smirked. He coiled both hands around an only half-decent block, hitting Irwin's sidekick in both temples. Not enough to cause serious damage, although he would most likely suffer from a similar headache as the one already on the floor, but enough to make him unconscious for a few minutes. He dropped like a sack of potatoes.

Turning to Irwin, who was staring in a faint sort of shock at his two friends, Cloud raised an eyebrow. "You gonna run?" The question was cheeky at best, insulting at worst, and he knew it. He didn't want Irwin to run, although of course that would be another sort of victory, he wanted the idiot to actually try and challenge him. To know who was the _best_.

_Zack would say something about being a sore loser right about now_.

"You wish!"

"Not really," he grinned, sliding out on the outside of Irwin's charge and hitting the guy in the ribs as he passed.

He hadn't truly noticed how fast he'd gotten, only ever sparring with Adulio and Zack these days, but fighting with these three lumps of muscle made it abundantly clear that while he might not have quite their strength, it didn't matter as long as they couldn't hit him.

Flipping out of reach of a low sweeping kick, keeping an obnoxious smirk firmly in place, the blond cadet contemplated the merits of seriously beating Irwin up or just ending this as fast as possible. Zack would be disappointed in him if he used this opportunity to torture another cadet, no matter who that cadet was or what he had done to deserve it.

He aimed a short punch against Irwin's nose, just because he had decided to be merciful didn't mean he had to leave Irwin still looking his best, but was blocked. Barely. Well, Irwin _had_ earned himself a spot in the advanced sword class, it wasn't all that improbable that he'd be able to block such a straight forward punch.

He punched again, once again aiming straight for Irwin's nose, and was blocked again. He kept up a steady rhythm of those punches, never aiming anywhere else, forcing his opponent into a rhythm of blocking.

The punches were coming in quick enough succession that Irwin had no time to retalite and he cursed furiously under his breath. The little imp was following though just enough that he couldn't afford to take one, but not enough that they threw the agile little bitch off balance.

Irwin just had enough time to register that one punch was suddenly surprising light before a fist was planted squarely in his stomach, almost making him double over. His hands flew down automatically and a second after that he was out like a light as Cloud took the opening and pushed all his weight into the punch to his unprotected face.

Cloud rolled his shoulders lightly. That had been one of the simplest tactics he had ever used. Adulio would never have fallen for it and he wasn't even going to compare Irwin's idiocy with Zack's increasingly interesting and creative ideas.

He left with just the slightest bounce in his step, self-assured that Irwin wouldn't dare tell anyone about this; it would be too embarrassing to have jumped someone smaller, three against one, and lose.

- - -

_Official notice_

_The cadets of August 2000 are now eligible for missions._

The notice was ridiculously short and really gave no information at all. Well, except that they were in risk of getting a mission any minute if ShinRa felt like it.

"Guess they figure three months are enough to learn the basics," Adulio commented on his left. Somewhere behind him, Irwin was shooting him death glares announcing to the entire mess who was responsible for the bruise covering the left side of his jaw from chin to ear. Cloud had hit rather precisely just next to the chin, although most likely Irwin hadn't been out for an entire minute even so.

Enough that he would know himself defeated.

"You think they decide who goes by drawing lots?"

"Probably or they would've posted individual notices."

"What kinda missions do you think we'll get?"

- - -

They usually didn't do anything interesting in the materia & summons class. It was all theory about how the materia worked and how they were created. At least they had progressed from the history of who found out how to use materia and how many times It Went Gruesomely Wrong.

Their teacher had warned them about some sort of important test two days previously, but he hadn't disclosed anything more. Half the class was on the verge of a nervous break down, thinking they hadn't studied enough, and so, when Patton entered with a crate full of what looked to be pale green glass balls, it was all anyone could do just to stay seated.

The energy of the class went rapidly from nervous to thrumming anticipation.

"Okay, boys, if you haven't guessed it already, these are materia. Too low-level to be of any use on a battle field, which is the only reason we get to play with them, mind. At most, the fire'll give someone standing three or four feet away a first degree burn, which, yeah, it _might_ make them pause if you catch them unawares, but mostly likely, you'll get skewered and gutted while doing the spell. I don't suppose I have to tell you how ineffective any other type materia of this level would be.

"I'll give you each one materia. You will not use it. You will tell me what magic it contains and then I will give you a new one. When you have identified three correctly, you will be allowed next door to practise with one, although don't expect to hear the song within at least the first half an hour. It should be easier with the second and third, but if you don't make it today, you'll always have next time.

"When you're practising, remember what I've already taught you and remember to keep each other at least arm length away. The materia might not be very experienced, but there's no reason to _invite_ accidents." And with that, he started handing out the glowing orbs.

Cloud eyed the other side of the class, where everyone was already sitting with eyebrows drawn down in abject concentration. Patton was handing out materia to the middle row, not in any particular hurry, but not dawdling either. No one was speaking.

When he got the materia handed to him, Cloud bit his lip. The song was faint, but... it sounded like... _damage, hightolowtohigh,_ and_ animationstopstart_ but he wasn't even supposed to be able to hear it yet, maybe he was wrong.

But then he wouldn't gain anything if he didn't at least try. He raised his hand.

"Yes, Strife? There a problem?"

He hesitated just slightly before voicing what he had guessed. "I have a lightning materia."

The teacher sucked in a quick breath, then accepted the materia. "You're right." He eyed the young teen, wondering if it had just been a lucky guess, then shrugged. He collected a new materia, faintly noting its type and handed it to the boy.

"Restore." The reply had been almost instantaneous. Considering how alike restore, heal and revive materia was, that was truly impressive.

Trying almost absent-mindedly to hide his shock, he took the time to search for a slightly more difficult type and handed it to the cadet. Cloud had always struck him as bright. True, he had had some real trouble at the beginning, obviously far behind everyone in his education, but the kid had made some truly insightful observations. Still, there was no way he could have anticipated this level.

Cloud furrowed his brows, wondering why this one's song was different than the others. Not because the song was another, but where the song in the other two materia had seemed far away, this one seemed, well, almost wispy. Like its shape hadn't truly formed.

"Time?" And even less experienced than the other two, obviously.

Patton nodded mutely. They didn't usually give such young and advanced materia to absolute beginners. Considering how many more AP a time materia needed, they often was much more difficult to read.

"Uh," his student ventured, looking around at his fellow students. "Should I try some more?"

The instructor focused once more on the class, all of which had forgotten about their own materia and was staring at Strife, eyes expressing either awe or jealousy and any number of less pronounced variations.

"No. No, that won't be necessary. Just go next door, uh, take the lightning materia to practise with."

- - -

It was raining hard and the air had a certain chill to it, although it wasn't particularly windy. They were escorting a minor transport of now-useless chocobos to Kalm, either too old to continue life in the army or refusing a new rider after the one they had carried had deceased. Supposedly there was another farm on the other side of the marshes but no one from Midgar was willing to risk the midgar zoloms to go there.

The chocobos would be judged for breeding at the ranch; if they passed, they'd live the rest of their life being cuddled almost as much as the racing birds in the Gold Saucer, if they didn't... ShinRa had no use for feeding birds with no purpose.

Cloud thought that was rather sad. The birds had done their best their entire lives, had served ShinRa to the best of their ability and then they were just put down when they couldn't do anything any more.

They were only there as back-up, though. Three SOLDIER Thirds had the responsibility of taking down any monsters that tried attacking the slow-moving truck. The five cadets assigned sitting on the roof with their riffles in case something got past the Thirds. They hadn't been allowed to carry swords either, even though Cloud was pretty certain he was more efficient with an edged weapon than with the firearm leaning casually against his shoulder.

He was a fairly decent shot, true, but... he just wished he had a sword.

"_And what would you do with it, Spiky? Would you trust the other cadets to aim around you?"_

_No_, he answered Zack's voice in his head. It wasn't that he couldn't see the logic. If the truck was attacked, if something actually got past the Thirds, it wasn't like he'd be able to cut it down himself, _but I would feel better_.

The mission went fairly uneventfully, the Thirds handling the kalm fangs and single prowler they happened upon. They returned to Midgar only having missed one and a half day of classes.

- - -

It surprised him somewhat less than before when he found he had been transferred to more advanced classes in the compulsive academic subjects. This time, however, he found that he didn't have to catch up at all in history (small blessing, considering all the extracurricular work he'd been forced to do although it was surprising that Oernstrup had recommended him) and getting his hands on some more experienced materia would be fun.

He found that the advanced classes in strategy was a lot more interesting as well. Not because the teacher was very interesting as such, however planning how to take Ford Tamlin, with any resource ShinRa had at disposal (except Sephiroth, but everyone knew Sephiroth would simply go in there and conquer everything without breaking a sweat, so using the general in a strategy game was rather pointless) was intriguing to say the least.

Personally, looking at the proposed stats of the troops stationed there, Cloud thought almost any First should be able to do it. Zack, who was a Second, might even be able to, but Cloud hadn't seen the full extent of his abilities, so he couldn't be entirely certain. Regardless, if you could just get in, there was no way for the entire battalion there to hit you all at once, and that was a serious tactical advantage to super soldiers. The only way for normal people to win against SOLDIERs would be using sheer numbers.

It was a relief that Adulio wasn't prone to jealousy, but then, Adulio had followed him in both history and strategy, as the only other one in their year.

- - -

"So... they found a new teacher?"

"Mh-hmm."

"Is he any good?"

"Well. He's not a SOLDIER."

"Ah. You gonna do anything special to... celebrate?"

He couldn't help but laugh. "I'm sure most of them will be celebrating. I can't imagine Tillens will make them go through quite the rigorous workout I do. Strife got his control of his limit down, right?"

"Of course. I thnk the only reason he did it in the first place was because he hadn't a clue what it was. So what'll you do?"

"I actually think Mårdh had an idea."

"Huh? Angeal, you okay? Are you actually saying something positive about that bastard?"

"Just because you don't like him, doesn't mean he can't have good ideas. Dismissing him purely out of spite is dishonourable." He hid a grin at Zack's vague grimace.

"So what's his good idea, then?"

"Simulations." Angeal didn't bother hiding his smile as his protégé immediately perked up. "We've been trying to teach them more combat oriented swordplay, however there's no real way for a cadet fighting another cadet, an ally, to simulate a real fight, no matter how hard they try, especially when I'm there to supervise. The knowledge that they're safe makes a huge difference."

"But a simulation is still a simulation. They'll still know they're safe."

"I suppose, but regardless, the monsters will do real damage."

- - -

When Zack entered with no Angeal everyone knew something was up.

"Heya, troops," he called happily, not perturbed in the least at the looks he was given. Angeal wasn't all that much of a stickler for etiquette, although if you talked while he was giving you a message, he would find ways to make life hell for you, so while the line they made was as linear as normal, the salute wasn't quite as crisp as it had been the first time Angeal had entered with Zack in tow. Zack, however, had no concept of etiquette to begin with and waved them down distractedly.

"So, you're all wondering why Angeal isn't here. That's an easy question to answer; he's setting one of the simulation rooms up. Yeah, it's gonna be hella fun seeing you all run rampant up there and you'll probably have loads of fun too. But first! How much did Sergeant Mårdh tell you about simulation rooms? Ivanov?" Because he might not stand on ceremony, but even he knew better than to show Cloud special attention in an official setting. Or semi-official as the case were.

"Nothing, sir. He told us what the mission would consist of and when and where to meet him, but nothing of the rooms as such."

No one missed the flash of rage, however brief, in Zack's eyes. "Okay, then. Since I know one or two of you will eventually get the bright idea to go there alone to train, here's the deal. You don't ever go to a simulation room alone. Ever. Monsters does not stop attacking just because you're not moving. The rooms can't tell if you're unconscious, since it can't measure brainwaves and heartbeats are too unreliable. My heart, for example, beats with about the same frequency when I'm simply not fighting, like now, as yours will when you're unconscious. The simulation rooms are geared to SOLDIERs, by the time it registers a pulse slow enough to stop the simulation, you'll be bleeding out." He valiantly kept his continuous cursing of Mårdh to himself. Suspecting that the man had shown them the simulation without giving warnings didn't change the fact that it had been extremely irresponsible. Of course, now he had planted the idea in their heads that it was possible, but there were ways to seriously discourage the idea.

"I kid a few years ago got the bright idea to sneak into a simulation room at night. He did bring a partner, however when the partner was caught by a Turk, the Turk didn't quite bother to listen when he was told there was another cadet." He eyed the cadets seriously, imploring them to take heed.

"The Turks aren't evil, but they're really ruthless. The cadet left alone died, trying to fight on a level too high for his abilities and with no one to stop the simulation for him. So! Bottom line is, don't go sneaking into the simulation rooms. There's a very good reason why you don't have authorisation for those floors. Instead, work harder to get into SOLDIER. We get time slotted."

Cloud swallowed. How Zack had turned such a serious tale into an encouragement speech was beyond him. The rest of the class seemed just about as stunned as he was, if not worse.

"Any questions so far?" No one moved. "Great! The simulations will be like those you did with Sergeant Mårdh, except that you won't be required to stand around waiting for everyone else. I'll send you there in groups of four. Since it'll obviously take half the day to go through you all, we _won't_ cancel your classes again, we'll just drag you from them kicking and screaming when it gets to be your turn. Carman, Folley, Solberg and Hamm, you're up first."

Zack worked the rest of the class while the first team was with Angeal. Cloud was sent many a commiserating glance, once they realised that the pace Zack had started out with, he intended to keep for the rest of the lesson. The first group came back, looking just a little bit spooked, a bit worse for wear, but mostly whole. Zack sent the next group and continued the gruelling sword kata he had been teaching.

Cloud, of course, wasn't called upon until he was halfway into his mech class. When Zack poked his head in and asked for 'cadet Strife' his teacher simply waved his hand while the rest of the class, by now used to the much younger cadet although they didn't engage him, stared.

When he got to the simulation room, Zack had picked up Adulio and two others, Faulkner and Wyatt, on the way.

"Last batch Angeal!"

"Thank you, Zack. At ease, cadets." They relaxed their salute. "So... you'll be sent in one at a time. I'll follow you in just in case, but no worries. Each simulation should correspond with your level. Enough to be challenging but still well within your reach, got it?"

"Yes, sir."

He nodded, satisfied with their respectful but relaxed reply. "Those who remain out here... please keep an eye on Zack for me. Faulkner, you're first." and with that, he entered the room, ignoring how Zack was grimacing pointedly.

They heard the faint hum of the illusion starting up inside. Zack immediately started doing squats.

Cloud and Adulio relaxed against the wall, while Wyatt eyed the Second Class dubiously. "Is he always that hyper?" He whispered, not aware that the Second could easily hear him.

"You just be glad he's using his excess energy on squats and not on trying to pull you into some ridiculous prank," Cloud commented unapologetically. Zack grinned, wondering if maybe... "Don't even think about it."

In the end, Cloud was the last one in.

* * *

NOTE: Imagining Cloud in a bench press makes me laugh XD Especially young Cloud. Hence why he isn't.

Unsexy facts: I've pecked Cloud's height at the very beginning at 5'1 (155cm), he's grown two inches since then (growth spurt. Yay). His weight is currently around 132lb (60kg), allowing for his 'scrawny' look but with a great deal of muscle still. He would be pushing around 50 kg for endurance training (leg press). Probably 75-80 for actual strength training. 'cause he's stronger than he looks and all. I pushed 60kg when I weighed 50, but that was years ago, when I was 16 and doing horseback riding to boot. Anyway, theory is that you should at least be able to push your own weight, since that's what you're carrying around all day.

Sorry, this is only one of those "Time passes, not all that much stuff _really_ happens" chapters. I wish I could've given you guys something more interesting when it took me so long, but then that last scene got a little longer than I anticipated, so I guess a slightly longer chapter makes up for it? Just a little?


	11. Chapter 10

Ahaha, a little late again, but then, also a little long. Wow, 12 pages 0_0; Where'd they come from?

* * *

Considering all the fuss it had created when he had fought Zack that first time, he really should be used to the attention he got whenever he managed a new apparently all but impossible achievement. The difference now was that the cadets from previous years were also interested.

Completing a level 18 mission, simulated or not, was a lot more reliable than having newer cadets admit jealousy of their peers. When level 15 was the level you let cadets who were all but already in SOLDIER train in, or so the unofficial rules stated, the fact that a new recruit, the youngest even in his own year and only not quite scrawny to boot, had not only been offered a mission of a higher level but completed it too, caused quite a bit of jostling in the hallways. It's not like it had exactly been easy either. He hadn't had the strength to just plough through; the damn things had been armoured, impossible to beat with speed alone, and when he was done with the supposed small fries, he had been given a boss fight.

Luckily, Zack had been ready with a potion once he got out.

He did his best to ignore the shoving and general jealousy, ate his meals fast and disappeared into a training room or the library whenever he could.

He was removed entirely from his year mates in both martial arts and fencing. There was no real graduating from firearms class, since they had long since stopped being introduced to new firearms. Now it was all just a question of practising aim, and there were only a few that were better than Cloud there.

Adulio tried to diffuse the situation some, but Cloud's stubborn refusal to realise the consequences of other people being so seriously jealous was all but negating his efforts and he stopped when he realised that there would be no gratefulness for his efforts.

- - -

"The kid's even more talented than Zack was when he was raised."

"Apparently not as good at defusing the situation, though." A quiet chuckle.

"As long as he's not getting into fights left and right. He seems to just keep to himself when that other cadet, Fuentes, isn't engaging him."

"Indeed, but he's been recommended though?"

"By almost every single teacher he's currently working with and a couple of his previous ones too, including General Lieutenant Angeal. The general consensus is that Strife's hard-working and respectful if not courteous, exceedingly bright, talented and never complains."

"I see. We'll let him try, then."

"Thank you, Director."

- - -

Winter came with icy cold squalls and a wind that got through any crack or fissure, causing cold drafts in the most unlikely of places. Their morning runs, however, wasn't stopped of course, and running at the time the sky lightened meant running in the coldest temperatures when the wind was the most unforgiving. As a result, they bundled up more than usual. No one was wearing coats, of course, that was just ridiculous, but light scarves, thin gloves and a shirt that covered both arms and midriff was an absolute must.

Cloud, however, was no longer in Midgar.

He had been dumped with four other cadets, all of them from earlier recruitments, at the edge of some mountain range. The other cadets, the youngest was at least sixteen, the oldest eighteen and just on the verge of no longer being eligible for the SOLDIER program, were all from Cloud's classes now, and among the better in most of them.

Five cadets. And two SOLDIER Thirds, standing a little ways off, conferring with the pilot of the helicopter that had dropped them there. Five cadets, confused, sleepy and still reeling slightly from the fact that they had been _abducted_ and _chloroformed_. Well, Cloud was still reeling, at least, and feeling queasy after the flight in the transporter, the others were beginning to gain some very, very smug airs.

Cloud eyed the two SOLDIERs as they turned and walked over, while the craft lifted and turned north. Obviously, the enemy didn't have them so maybe there was some... regularity to this? When the two masked figures, SOLDIERs Cloud realised now they must have been, had apprehended him alone while he was training with one of the blunt training swords he had honestly thought Wutai ninjas had infiltrated. Needless to say, he had not gone down without a fight, but he hadn't reached his limit break before they had had him pinned and put the soaked handkerchief over his mouth. A firm punch to the stomach had ensured that he inhaled the stuff.

And now he was here, in the wilderness, having woken up in the helicopter feeling sick from the chemical and motion sickness both, a bulging backpack, a sword and a rifle at his feet and absolutely no clue what was going on.

The two SOLDIERs stopped in front of their group, lounging confidently on their feet and surveying the cadets as they swiftly came to attention.

"There's no reason to tell you why you're here, so I'll just tell you what you're gonna do. You're currently well south of Midgar, near the Mythril Mountains. Your mission is to get back to Midgar. You've each been given a pack of everything you should need, including weapons. Me and my buddy here will only supervise, I'm Omdahl, my buddy's Jaeger. We'll walk in the middle of your group to avoid attracting monsters away from you, but we won't help with anything except guard duty, we'll only interfere with monsters if you have all already been defeated and I hope you realise that unless you're defeated by something spectacular, like five cactuars popping out of the air, you'll fail. Ralph Jones has been assigned as your commander, you have seven days worth of march ahead of you. Have fun." And with that they both turned and went over to their own packs, talking quietly.

Jones, a tall guy, as tall as Zack at _least_, with dull, strawberry blond hair, turned immediately to Cloud, grey eyes narrowed menacingly. "Listen, hotshot, I know yer supposed t' be all genius'n stuff, but _I_ don' give a rat's ass. Yer SOLDIER friend ain't here ter hold yer hand, an' you better pull yer own weight."

Refraining from rolling his eyes or protest that he had gotten to where he was all on his own, he simply answered with a simple "Yes, sir". Jones had been given command for a reason, hopefully, and in any case, he intended to _prove_ his worth, not relying on reputation.

Jones nodded, mollified by the deference. "Get yer gear, we're setting out. There should be at least four hours worth a sunlight left."

They set out, walking in a single file with Cloud in the back, checking to make sure both his rifle and sword were easily available should a situation arise before he followed.

They had only walked for a few hours before the first howl sounded and three Kalm fangs rose out of the tall grass to the front. Cloud had his sword in hand before he had even fully realised what was happening, but stayed put, keeping an eye on their surroundings in case more monsters had been attracted by the howl. The three Kalm fangs didn't stand much of a chance against four well-trained cadets in any case, as the shower of green light soon after testified to.

Jones ordered one of them to see if the monsters had dropped anything, before confronting Cloud. "Why didn't you help?" He asked brusquely.

Blue eyes widened in slight shock at the implied accusation. "I was making sure no monster would attack you from behind. Sir." The suffix was added after just the smallest pause, not enough to be disrespectful, but enough to point out that Cloud had forgotten that Jones currently worked as his superior.

Jones mulled the answer over, realising there wasn't anything he could really fault with that. He nodded and ordered them to move out again.

The two SOLDIERs, true to their words, hadn't done a thing except unslinging their swords, ready in case the situation had gone sour.

They were attacked twice more, once by two prowlers and another time by a single Kalm fang, both times from the front, before the sun had set far enough that Jones thought it prudent to make camp. Their ration bars tasted like once-soggy cardboard with the faintest hint of mako waste if you didn't chew and swallow fast enough, but no one complained.

"I guess we have about two days worth of rations," Abbing, a guy who looked almost chubby until your realised it was all muscle. He wasn't much taller than Cloud either, despite being almost three years his senior.

"That just means we've got two days before we need to forage," Jones decided, swallowing the last lump of mako dipped cardboard.

Cloud looked around, wondering why no one was protesting, then realised that the possibility that these people were all city bred was remarkably high. They kept shooting surreptitious glances at the SOLDIERs resting nearby as well. _They're looking for approval_, Cloud realised, and couldn't help an annoyed snort.

"What, hotshot? Got something ter say?" They had all turned to him, resentment more or less veiled in their eyes.

Well, now that he had gotten their attention anyway, he might as well say what he was thinking. "We won't find a lot of food in the wastelands around Midgar. Shouldn't we save our rations until then?"

"An' log 'em around fer another five days? You stupid or somethin'?"

"I just figured that dried protein bars would be easier to carry than whatever we might find round these parts. Rabbit, roots, mushrooms. It's all gonna be a great deal heavier."

"Kid's got a point, yanno, Ralph," Abbing conceded, before Jones could say anything.

"I suppose. Guess we're gonna forage first chance tomorrow, then. Right. Gotta figure out a schedule fer night watch too."

They agreed on a rotating schedule, so no one would be stuck with the same shitty watch every night. The SOLDIERs didn't comment, of course, and simply accepted their duty, which made Jones pull the funniest grimace of awe and disbelief. Cloud obviously wasn't the only one with the lightest case of hero worship for those who had made it through the program, even if his friendship with Zack had tempered it somewhat. It was no longer entirely unconditional.

The night was blessedly uneventful.

They ate another ration bar for breakfast, before packing up and heading out again, Cloud still walking behind the rest. They had barely left before a group of five prowlers attacked the front. Pausing to contemplate if maybe this time he better help the front, the idea was promptly pushed out of his mind as three Kalm fangs came sprinting down one of the rolling hills they had been walking between. Either this was an ambush, and well-coordinated, or the Kalm fangs had heard the commotion and just decided to take the opportunity. Not that it mattered any more.

Cloud dropped his sword and unslung the rifle, quickly disabling the safety and aiming for the foremost lupine monster. It went down with a loud yip, barely audible over the echoes of the gunshot. Swooping down to pick up his sword, Cloud barely got into a ready stance before the other two was on him. He was faintly aware that the fighting behind him had stopped as he chopped off the head of one Kalm fang and kicked it aside in the same movement he used to bury his sword in between the ribs of the second, right in its heart, before it could even manage to scratch him.

He wiped the sword on some grass, grimacing as he obviously couldn't get all the blood off that easily. Monsters' bodies might disappear as they returned to the lifestream, but everything that wasn't part of their bodies when they died got left behind. Cloud picked up the two potions, turning briefly to throw both to Jones before heading up the hill to the still whining Kalm fang he had taken down with his shot. He had hit it in a lung and it was very obviously dying. He put it out of its misery but it didn't leave any potions. Cloud made a mental shrug and returned to the others.

They were all staring at him, he realised and shifted a bit uncomfortably. "Uh, the third didn't leave anything," he said, wondering why they were suddenly looking at him like that. Even the two SOLDIERs were looking at him in a way he couldn't quite decipher and it made him feel selfconscious.

Ralph Jones was slowly realising that despite his shock, his jaw had not actually hit the ground. By the Planet, the blond was _fast_. He had turned once the prowlers were all gone to tell the idiot kid that shooting into the fray of a fight was unacceptable, had wondered what had _possessed_ the runt to take part in a fight today instead of hanging back like he had done the previous day, but the sight of the two oversized lupines boring down on him, big enough to bowl the kid over with sheer weight, surely, had stopped him in his tracks. Spotting dark blueish fur further up the hill he realised that he had misjudged where the shot had been going.

Then the kid had loped off the head of one and stuck his sword in the other, killing both with moves he hadn't even been able to see _with his backpack still on_, then swooping down to pick up potions, calm as you please. Jones had almost fumbled the two potions thrown to him. And here he had thought the kid was hanging back to avoid fighting, here he had been planning on letting the kid get a proper scare when their first back attack had arrived. Well, so much for that, Cloud Strife acted like hunting monsters was an everyday occurrence.

Now it seemed like the other cadet was noticing their stares for the first time, and his gaze shifted between them before he ventured to open his mouth. "_Uh, the third didn't leave anything._"

His quiet unassuming statement jolted Ralph out of his stupor and he nodded, pocketing both of the two potions, since Kron had already downed one of the three the prowlers had left. The rest of them had only minor scratches and bruising, not enough to bother with a potion. The kid cadet didn't have a scratch.

As they moved out, he was forced to admit to himself that the smallest of them had to be the better too. It made him scowl. He had thought that getting the command of their little squad meant that he was the best, surely that had to be the case, and all the rumours circling about the little cadet had to have been grossly exaggerated. He had been prepared to deal with airs from a kid, who had been announced a prodigy in almost everything he touched. The kid had been moved into the sword class of the upper students, but while he had won any mock sparring they participated in, Ralph and he had never been set up against each other. And since Zack Fair had graduated ahead of him, he had been the best in his class, surely the blond couldn't be pronounced that good when he hadn't even tried going up against the best.

But the blond hadn't tried for airs. Had been mutinously respectful, doing as he was told, not complaining, giving perfectly reasonable explanations whenever he wasn't doing what Ralph expected of him, not setting himself up for a proper taking down even once.

And now the tiny misfit had the audacity to prove that he was just better. And he didn't even seem smug about it either, there was _nothing_ to call him on.

"Uh, Jones, sir." He almost growled as the subject of his musings interrupted his brooding.

"What?"

Taken aback a little at the clipped off response, Cloud tensed slightly before answering. "You said we were going to forage today. We just passed a well used rabbit trail. Sir." There it was again. The cool polite tone that told more expressly than anything that Cloud found it too bothersome not to show him the necessary respect.

That was when he realised what Cloud had actually said. "Rabbits? You sure?"

"Yes."

Great, now he was a tracker as well as a prodigy. "Lead the way. We're gonna see 'f yer tracking skills are any good. The resta you, check the water over there an' see 'f it's worth anything." He waved in the general direction of where he had seen the sun glittering off of water. Cloud turned in the opposite direction, eyes mostly on the ground, but checking his surroundings often enough that he wouldn't be surprised by a monster. The SOLDIER, Jaeger, who had yet to speak a word to anyone but his companion followed. Ralph huffed and took the rear guard.

It didn't take long to find the warren, or rather, they topped a crest and suddenly there were rabbits everywhere. Brown and grey, they hopped around all over this side of the hill, keeping well away from where the three humans had just appeared, but otherwise not allowing the sight to disturb them much.

Ralph all but whooped, scaring a few more rabbits to seek cover in the burrows, before he ran down the hill, trying to catch the nimble little critters, not noticing the exasperated glance he was thrown by both of his companions.

"Can I trust you to keep perfectly still?" Cloud asked, eyeing the SOLDIER, who nodded, a faint light of amusement in his eyes. Luckily, the wind was blowing towards them from the direction of the burrows dotting this side of the hill, which meant Cloud could perch above one of the holes without his scent warning the rabbits that would be coming out any moment, now that the threat supposedly had moved further down hill.

Just as predicted, a moment later a brown nose poked out, testing the air. The second the ears had cleared the opening, however, Cloud's hand shot down, fingers tightening around its neck and pulling it out, kicking, trying to scratch him with it's hind claws to no avail. Another second and Cloud had twisted its neck and thrown it to where Jaeger was standing, a few steps above, surveying their surroundings.

The SOLDIER eyed the petite blond who was crouching above another burrow, now waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Their superiors had been grossly understating when they told Jaeger and him that they'd survey a kid with 'potential' on the mission. He grinned. They hadn't known who, but the struggle to overpower the little squirt had shown it with all possible clearness. That, and the fact that the kid didn't listen to gossip. It was a well-known secret, usually, that the SOLDIER potentials was spirited away with no warning before returning as Thirds, but the blonde had definitely fought like he hadn't known that. If they really had been ninja and not mako-enhanced super-humans the kid would have won too. Possibly.

He was reminded of Fair, who had been raised the same time he had, who had also only been in the program half a year before being taken. They had made this trip together, Fair effortlessly taking command from the one who had been assigned, although no one had truly taken notice that every time Fair suggested something, it had had the same effect as an order. Zack just had that effect on people, reassuring, making them trust him and his judgement. It helped, of course, that his judgement was usually good, but even so. Jaeger wondered if it would have made any difference.

Fair was well on his way to making First, or so the rumours went.

This kid had the same air of someone who knew what he was doing but unlike Zack Fair, he didn't have the people skills to diffuse the situation and make Jones lower his guard. He didn't even seem aware of his unconscious gestures ad bearing that told everyone around him that he was in perfect control of the situation. Not that the other cadets did that exactly either, but they reacted to them, feeling threatened.

No wonder, he grinned again, noticing that Cloud had thrown another dead rabbit at his feet while he had been lost in thought and was no approaching with a third dangling limb from its hind legs.

"We shouldn't stay here. A warren as big as this is bound to attract monsters like flies to honey." They had been lucky none were there when they arrived, but better to put as much distance between them and such a trap as possible.

Right on cue, Ralph Jones lumbered up the hill a still-bleeding rabbit hanging from his fist. "We gotta stay here all afternoon 'f we're gonna catch anything worthwhile," he huffed, winded from trying to run up rabbits and then ascending the hill. "We should call the others."

"Jones," Cloud hedged. "If we don't get away from here, we're gonna have a lot of monsters to deal with." Especially after the idiot had spread blood all over the place. Life! They would find themselves in another ambush if they didn't scram soon, and they risked it being even worse than the one they had dealt with earlier, every monster within ten miles would be able to smell the blood.

And they also had to clean out the three he had caught.

"No way. We can't know 'f we'll ever get a chance like this again. We're staying."

"Jones." Cloud said, trying for patience. "Every predator for miles is going to come this way, looking for why this place smells of blood." He looked imploringly at Jones. Or well, he tried to.

Jones was the one to look away first, which caused him to notice the three rabbits lying dead Jaeger's feet. His eyes went to Jaeger's, but when the SOLDIER gave a slight nod in the direction of the slighter cadet, he turned his eyes back to Cloud's, who hadn't flinched in the least, still expecting an answer. "You could've just said you caught three, dimwit," he grumbled, hoping for a reaction, but there wasn't even a spark of resentment for his name calling. By all the gods that had ever inhabited the Planet, did nothing ruffle this kid?

Cloud nodded, satisfied. Then went to pick up his rabbits. "We should clean these out, soon, too," he commented.

City bred, Jones had never been acquainted with the less hygienic aspects of eating meat, however, there was no way he would be admitting ignorance of anything in front of Cloud. "We'll do 't later, you wanted ter get outta here, right?" They returned to the others, who confirmed the water drinkable, and after filling their own water bottles they continued their journey.

After the first hour of walking and no sign from Jones that they would stop long enough for Cloud to do any sort of cleaning of the animals, the blond sighed pointedly and opened the throat of the three rabbits he had caught, holding them away from himself as he let them bleed out. It didn't take long, true, but he still hated to leave a trail like this, but if the blood clotted in the veins, the meat would taste... weird. Besides, it was better that he left the blood here, rather than near their camp.

He tried to remind their commander that he still had to clean them out, but was met with a flat out no.

Ten minutes after he had deemed the corpses bled out and hefted them to his belt, two prowlers tried sneaking up on them. Cloud took care of both, once again before anyone else could react. They had probably seen or smelled the blood and had then followed their tracks. Cloud cautioned that they could expect other monsters to do the same. Jones contemplated, then told Abbing to walk in the back with Cloud, who asked, again, if it wasn't an idea to clean out the rabbits before they continued and, again, was met with a definite no.

Cloud took out his ire on the monsters stupid enough to attack during their march, but as nightfall neared and it became increasingly obvious that Jones did not intend to stop so Cloud could clean out their prey a good distance from where they'd eventually put up camp, the blond just became increasingly antsy. He tried persuading Jones to make a short halt, but once again with no result. It was like the bigger cadet had simply put up a wall against all his advice.

They made camp in a hollow, a few hundred feet from where a small stream gave nourishment to some trees and shrubbery in a long line going west. "Gather some firewood. Abbing, you can go help Strife clean his precious rabbits, but don't contaminate the water."

Cloud growled and dropped his backpack, taking only his sword and a knife with him as he pointedly went downstream, stalking as far away as he dared, not turning to see if Abbing followed.

He stopped in another valley between two rolling hills, out of sight of the camp, but not out of earshot. If the rabbits' bowels attracted anything unpleasant, he didn't want it to be able to see the camp after it finished with the scraps. Hopefully a fox or marten or something like it would find it before the monsters got a whiff of it, because if monsters were attracted here in the middle of the night, things could turn ugly.

Sighing, he went about cleaning the animals, first chopping off the head and feet, as they weren't quite desperate enough to eat those, then cut a line from tail to neck and viciously ripped off the fur, scarred from fights with other rabbits or close encounters with predators. An old rabbit. It didn't matter, it wasn't like they needed the fur for anything... then again. He put it aside. They could use it to clean their weapons. He then opened the stomach with a deeper incision from tail to ribs, letting the bowels spill out. He dug his fingers inside to dig out everything, heart and lungs too. His mum had liked putting the heart aside, but they hardly had the ingredients not to mention capabilities to go gourmet. He placed the meat on the fur and picked up another rabbit.

"That was scarily fast, kid," a voice from his back said, sounding impressed. Abbing. Cloud shrugged and cut off feet and head of the second rabbit.

Abbing reached over and took a third one and copied. "How'd you skin 'em? Just yank?"

"Well," Cloud hesitated, he would really have preferred to be alone but apparently that wasn't supposed to be. His shoulders slumped. "Yeah, but you gotta yank in the right direction, or you'll just pull the fur apart." He proceeded to skin his own rabbit. Not so much showing how to do it as just doing it. It was no business of his if Abbing couldn't follow.

By the time Abbing had skinned his rabbit, Cloud had already skinned the last one and was cutting its stomach open.

"Ugh, warn a guy before you start flingin' bowels around, will you?"

Cloud looked up, an eyebrow raised pointedly. He had _not_ been _flinging_ bowels around.

"Okay, okay, just sayin'. That's seriously gross though, good thin' I'm not weak stomached, though, don't you think? Ugh, and it smells horrible! Yuck."

"If you can't clean your rabbit, let me do it for you."

"Testy, testy." Abbing grinned, that had almost sounded like teasing from the blond's side. Almost. A little more smirk and it would have been. And was he wrong? Nope, there it was, the smirk that definitely meant Cloud had been teasing, which meant the diminutive cadet wasn't just an annoying, pestering prodigy. Maybe they had been a little hard on him, all four of them had known each other well even before this and Cloud had felt like a sort of intrusion and as a result, they had all pretty much done their best to ignore him.

He did his best to ignore the smell of _intestines_ as he cleaned out the bowels of his own rabbit.

They then went to the stream, washed the blood off the carcasses and their hands and returned to camp. Abbing noted that Cloud seemed distracted as they followed the stream most of the way. He was staring at the lush greenery, far more varied than on the bare plains, and frowning.

"Somethin' wrong?" He asked, when the other didn't say anything.

"Uh, no, it's just... I think some of this is edible."

"Edible?"

"I can't really be sure. It looks a lot like some of the stuff I used to collect for my mum back home, but it's a bit different. And bigger."

"Where'd you live?"

"Nibelheim. In the Nibel mountains... I guess the difference in size could be because it's not so cold here, but I don't really wanna risk your lives on a hunch."

"I guess not. Well, we'll think about that when we've delivered the rabbits to the cookin' pot. Not likely any of the others'll know though, we're all city bred. And I, fer one, think a proper stew sounds delicious."

Cloud's stomach agreed with a loud rumble, causing Abbing to laugh and Cloud to blush slightly.

"Look at it this way! Would you risk yer own life on this huncha yers?"

Thinking it over, Cloud nodded. "I guess."

"Then you've got my vote," Abbing pronounced just as they arrived at the camp.

Water had already been set to boil as they dumped the cleaned carcasses next to the fire. Ralph walked up to them, shooting a pointed glance Cloud's way before asking Abbing. "He's got yer vote fer what?"

"Cloud says he might recognize some veggies that grows aroun' here, though he thinks they look a little differen' than from where he's from. I told 'im if he's willing to eat it, so'm I."

Jones raised an eyebrow, then looked around at the last two cadets, who were in the process making sure their tent wouldn't fly away over their heads that night, before shooting a look at the two SOLDIERs, who both looked back with neutral expressions. His glance ended on Cloud, resentful and mistrusting. "Find yer veggies," he growled and stalked away to sulk.

Cloud sighed, annoyed at Jones' ridiculous hang ups, whatever they were. He turned towards the stream hearing Abbing's footsteps fall in behind him. "Need help carryin' anythin'?"

Contemplating the offer a little, Cloud shrugged. He might.

- - -

Jones grit his teeth and turned his back to the brightly glowing full moon, ignoring the chill night air. He had been on sentry for only half an hour, meaning he had little less than an hour left.

Life, but he was really beginning to hate the blond little hotshot they had been saddled with. Cloud Strife was everything a prodigy was supposed to be; smart, brave, skilled, _virtuous_. He grimaced at the thought. If only the blond had carried airs, had been a little snob or as stupid as his hair or scared shitless over all the older, _better_ cadets he was with. But no, nothing fazed the blond, he was just continuously, teeth-achingly, heart-warmingly _perfect_.

And he was indispensable on a trip like this, Ralph had to admit. The four other cadets could easily do without _him_, but Cloud knew his way around the wilderness, knew how to hunt and find food, knew fucking _everything_. Had just butted in and effortlessly one-upped him in everything. He had looked forward to the time he would be spirited away for his initiation mission. No one had known what happened on these missions and possibly they changed, depending on the group, but he had been looking forward to it, to showing his stuff ever since Fair had zipped through the program way ahead of him.

And now a tiny little cadet was stealing his thunder.

So preoccupied was he, that Ralph Jones didn't take note of the quiet sound of paws hitting soil behind him.

- - -

Cloud's watch wasn't until well after the witching hour, and he thought he might use the time until then to get some proper rest, but despite being reasonably well-fed and having spent the entire day on his feet, his sleep was light at best. He woke every time someone rustled a little too loudly in their sleeping bag and he woke when Curly (it was a nickname, but people no longer even bothered with his real name) came in to wake Jones for his watch. Cloud fell back into the fitful half-asleep state again until the sound of a blood-curdling scream piercing the air and then stopped too soon woke him completely with a start.

"We're under attack!" He exclaimed, as he disappeared out the tent opening, sword already in hand. He met a Kalm fang two metres from their tent and did away with it, spinning to meet another one before it could attack his companions, as they were coming out of the tent.

"Get your weapons, damnit!" He yelled and sprinted up the hill to the south, knowing that that was where their sentry was, where Jones was supposed to be, where the scream and a continuous sound of snarling and... something he'd really rather not think about came from.

He jumped right into the middle of half a dozen Kalm fangs, scattering them in all directions. He desperately tried not to think about why the ground seemed wet, muddy, and why the scream had stopped so suddenly. He sliced one Kalm fang straight through the jaw, and it's lower set of teeth landed on the ground even as he decapitated another and turned to bury his sword to the hilt under the jaws of a third.

He faintly registered the fact that another one had his shin between its teeth, but the pain was distant as he beheaded that one too. The last two were more cautious, stalking around him, looking for an opening. A few potions were lying on the ground, ignored for now. He didn't wait for the two lupine monsters to find an opening in his guard, he jumped at one, which jumped away just in time to get away with a clipped paw, then swirled around in a low stance and had to roll back as the other Kalm fang had jumped for his throat in just that moment. It tried to twist in mid-air, but it was too late and Cloud got showered in blood as he opened its belly from under it.

He ignored the already drying spray of monster blood covering him and turned to the last monster alive on the crest, the one he had nicked in the paw. It was limping as much as he was, which is to say not at all, and was regarding him with brightly glowing eyes. Cloud snarled in feral challenge, running more on instinct at that moment than real thought. They charged at the same time, claws and teeth again sword and skill.

The sword was buried in the monster's throat and yet, it still continued to claw at him, creating deep gashes down his arms, snarling even as blood bubbled out of the hole and ran down over Cloud's hands mingling with the human's. Cloud removed the weapon quickly, watching dispassionately as the last monster died.

He turned abruptly, searching the ground. Now that all the monsters were gone, disappeared in those clouds of lifestream, he should be able to find Jones. He spotted a shadowed form, highlighted by the moonlight, lying not too far away and scooping up a potion he quickly went over there.

It was a mess.

The potion fell from numb fingers as he surveyed the carnage. He knew lupine monsters didn't waste time in consuming their prey, he knew it could be messy. Swallowing thickly, he gripped his sword tighter before he even registered that he was still holding it, then the sound of fighting from down hill reached him. The others were still fighting.

He raced down, faster than he thought he had ever been before, the bite to his shin all but forgotten, the scratches and blood ignored, as a blue light enveloped him. He hefted the sword high overhead and hit the ground so hard it sent a shock wave out through the soil, over-topping Kalm fangs and making them disappear in a shower of green.

He wasn't entirely sure how the shock wave had distinguished between friend and foe, but the rest of his team seemed relatively unscathed. Abbing had even had the presence of mind to 'protect' the two SOLDIERs, ensuring that they didn't fail this mission, whatever it was.

All five, the three cadets and two SOLDIERs was staring at him, the same way they had been staring that time when he had first killed those three Kalm fangs.

"We... we should bury Jones," he said quietly. The air was cold against his blood spattered chest and it was first now he remembered that he hadn't bothered with putting on a shirt to sleep. The nights were cold, true, but they were sleeping four people in a cramped thermal tent.

"What?!"

"He didn't make it," Cloud tried to explain. "We should bury him."

"Uh." This was Abbing. "Shouldn't we... I mean, couldn't we carry him with us? Shouldn't he be buried in Midgar?"

Cloud shook his head. "We can't carry him."

"Well, sure it's far but... surely we can, I dunno, surely we can."

"Abbing. I'm sorry, but we really can't carry him, the... the Kalm fangs didn't leave enough and... even if they had, we just can't risk another group attack like this one because they smelled his blood. We'll bury him so far the monsters can't dig him up again."

"They didn't _leave_ enough? What the fuck do you mean?" Kron, this time.

Taking a deep breath and squaring his shoulders, Cloud prepared to explain the jungle law for the uninitiated. "Kalm fangs are _carnivores_, they eat meat. As it is, Jones was _lucky_ to be dead when they started." That had come out with a little more snap than intended, Kron could be in shock or just not quite comprehending, but there was nothing he could do to change it now. He did his best to modulate his tone though, as he continued. "As it is, the only reason I'm not having us pack up and flee right this second is because while this place possibly reeks of blood, most of it is from monsters and that's gonna hold the rest off for a little while at least. Enough that we can clean our gear and bury Jones at least."

Jaeger looked on as Cloud effortlessly took command of the group. They had all had quite a scare and death was never pretty, especially not when it was a comrade (and considering the type of missions they send cadets on, this was probably their first time witnessing _that_), but as the only one, Cloud still seemed collected and entirely rational. Did he have previous experience with such situations? Maybe, but more likely it was just ingrained. To Jaeger's mako enhanced vision, the moonlit night was more than bright enough to show him the way Strife's eyes were flickering, the way he was hunched over slightly and not supporting his weight on his right leg, just as shocked and hurt as his comrades but forcing through it to get everyone to safety.

Jaeger opened his mouth and for the first time actually addressed the cadets. "We'll bury Jones. You guys clean your gear. Strife is in charge for the rest of the march." He gestured for Omdahl and they began trudging up the hill. "Oh, and someone get a potion into Strife," he called back.

* * *

**Reviews makes me sooooo happeh!** *hint, hint, nudge, nudge*


	12. Chapter 11

Wow. Just wow. You guys are so awesome. Update 100% dedicated to my reviewers, for my 100th review! It's shorter than any other chapter (except the prologue) but you're getting it in only one day! That's gotta count for something, right?

- -

* * *

Zack was most definitely not nervous. Or stressed. Or seeking out trouble just to get his mind off of his little blond friend, who was currently going through the Trial. Well, he wasn't seeking out trouble any longer, since Angeal had roped him into a practise mission.

Not that the trial (which was capitalized only in Zack's mind) was anything to be particularly worried about since the only cadets put through it were cadets the teachers and instructors genuinely believed had enough potential to be in SOLDIER. They wouldn't be wimps and they wouldn't be stupid, but... well, kids of that age (and Zack conveniently forgot he was still the same age) had a tendency to be... short-sighted. And jealous of other cadets with talent, something he himself was perhaps more aware of than most. He had been able to diffuse most of his own situation by being open and welcoming of everyone, but Cloud, while he didn't exactly have superiority complexes as such, was just a lot more... private.

And now he was out there with four other cadets all primed for the SOLDIER program and probably more proud of it than they really ought to be.

At least the kid could fight, Zack reassured himself. The fact that he had very nearly taken two Thirds down with a practice sword had made the rounds all over ShinRa, not just in the cadets' or SOLDIERs quarters, but among the Turks and the corporate offices as well. Not that he exactly knew what went on among the Turks, but it would be logical that they knew about it, since they knew everything else that went on in the entire rest of the world.

So no, Zack was absolutely not nervous for the sake of his friend and if Angeal gave him _one_ more of those amused little smirks he saved for these occasions, so help him, Zack wouldn't be responsible for the consequences.

"Zack, focus!"

He huffed, annoyed. He was really trying, too. It was just that the mission prospective SOLDIERs went on was on their own. Almost. And he knew Jaeger, and Jaeger was, well, not as good as him (something he could admit without feeling superior in any of the wrong ways, thank you very much) but reliable nonetheless, but he also had a really sick sense of humour.

Worrying wouldn't do any difference on the field anyway.

"Wutai troops," he mumbled to himself, ploughing through another battalion. "Not as easy to defeat in reality," he continued, reciting to keep his mind on the simulation. "There's no space for individuality or creative thoughts in a simulated environment. Mission parameters is not to defeat them, but to get through them, getting what they're guarding, then return to rendezvous. Simple."

Annoyed with himself, he barged through the last line of Wutaian soldiers.

- - -

Hojo hated being summoned by the president. It took time away from his experiments and more often than not, he was in the middle of something highly delicate that his incompetent assistants could in no way be trusted with.

And even so, the president felt it necessary to summon the head of his science research division at any inconvenient time of the day to... to _chat_. He had even had the nerve once to imply that he could always find someone else for the post if Hojo proved too much trouble.

And so, grumbling, sneering at the ridiculous row of well-dressed, overly endowed, incompetent gossiping secretaries President Shinra had at his beck and call, Professor Hojo ascending that last staircase and entered the oversized office supposedly de facto controlling the entire world (except Wutai, but that was being corrected).

"Hojo, how nice of you to come by." The president laughed as though he had made a joke. "How is your research coming along? Nevermind, nevermind." He waved the matter aside as though it didn't matter before Hojo could reply. Not that he had been planning to. "It's going swimmingly as usual, with you as the head, I trust you to do your very best." The indulgent smile grated on Hojo's nerves. The president just refused to care for what he was experimenting with unless it could directly help in his quest to earn more money or acquire more power. Hojo wasn't particularly interested in knowing which of those two were the most important to the president, and he could live with the callous way his research was being treated as long as the president funded his research. Besides, the president had promised him that once those incompetent Turks of his located the Cetra girl, he would be the one to extract her secrets. That was something to look forward to, at least, and not a chance anyone was likely to get outside of ShinRa.

"I heard that we acquired quite the cadet," President Shinra continued, the glint in his eyes calculating. "They say he almost overpowered two Third Class SOLDIERs with a practise sword..." And wouldn't that turn out to be a valuable resource?

"Those rumours are obviously grossly exaggerated," Hojo replied, unruffled.

"He will become a splendid addition to the SOLDIERs. I heard from Lazard that he was recommended by almost all his teachers. The only other one who ever managed this amount of recommendations was Zack Fair." The president was possibly grinning in sheer delight.

"I admit, I fail to see the reason for all this... fuss. It's not like any of them could ever compare to Sephiroth in any case." Sephiroth was going to be a god, Hojo would make sure of it, and then everyone in the entire world would have to acknowledge his genius. And Sephiroth himself would stop telling him how superior Gast had been, the brat would finally show some gratitude for all the things Hojo had done for him.

"No, no, of course not. Sephiroth is perfect. And Angeal and Genesis are almost as good."

Hojo sneered at the mention of Hollander's two brats. They were nowhere _near_ as good as Sephiroth, mentioning them in the same breath shouldn't even happen!

"However, it's always good when we get truly useful additions. I trust you will be the one to administer the mako dose again this year?"

"Of course." Didn't he always?

"Please report directly to me how he takes to the mako."

- - -

Zack came crashing into the medical facility, where the four cadets were being held after their return. They all looked worn and tired, stressed, but otherwise none the worse for wear. But even so. There were only four and they were supposed to be five

Cloud was sitting with his back to the door, slumped in on himself, looking even smaller than his already none-too-impressive five feet and four inches. The medical check up was over, none of them seemed to be suffering from more than bruises and a few scratches, but then again, they had also come home with an impressive back-up of potions, or so Zack had heard.

He walked over to sit on the bed next to his friend, who looked up only once to see who sat down next to him, then looked away. It was worse than Zack had suspected.

"I heard from Jaeger that you blame yourself for... for Jones." Ralph Jones, age seventeen, half a year older than Zack himself. He had known him briefly only because they had been in the same year, had been in the same sword class until Zack had pulled ahead. Jones had always been a little too self-satisfied with his accomplishments, had never been too shy to let people know when he got a good grade or hit the mark. But he hadn't deserved to die for it.

And obviously Cloud felt the same.

"I could have prevented it," the boy finally admitted bitterly.

"How?" He was careful not to put any inflection on the question. No judgement or demand. Just a question. It was a fight for self-control on the SOLDIER's part. He was fairly trembling with the urge to just hug the cadet and tell him there was no way he could have prevented anything and he shouldn't feel guilty and this was supposed to be a happy occasion, damn it! They were supposed to be celebrating that Cloud would join SOLDIER as soon as the facility was set up.

"If... if I had insisted more. The only reason all those Kalm fangs came was because they smelt the rabbits and the blood. I should have insisted they be cleaned as soon as we caught them..."

"_Almost twenty Kalm fangs. Zack, I have never seen that many Kalm fangs in one place_."

"Cloud," he began, but was interrupted when a stocky fellow stomped over, glaring down at his companion. Cloud lifted his face slowly and was met with a resounding slap. Cloud blinked and lifted a hand to his cheek.

"Don't be stupid, Cloud!" The stocky guy all but growled. "Jones was bein' ridiculous. 'S not that I thin' he deserved to die or anythin'," here his eyes flickered, as though the mere idea made him feel guilty, "But 't was _his_ watch. He should've raised the alarm 'fore the thrice darned monsters crept up on us, Planet knows their eyes are glowy enough in the dark so's possible. He _didn't_ raise the alarm! And Omdahl and Jaeger agreed that they got him from behind! If you hadn't been there, if you hadn't been so goddamn _fast,_ they could've gotten us before we had had the time to get our weapons, so you just stop your damn, idiotic self blaming and look up with pride, you hear?!" And after a few seconds of staring (glaring) into Cloud's shocked eyes he stalked back to his bed and sat down in a huff.

Zack grinned. So maybe literally slapping sense into people weren't exactly his style, but obviously the fellow had liked Cloud and had wanted to help. And that rant had been impressive all on its own.

Besides, being careful and sensitive wasn't exactly his style either, so while Cloud was still trying to make his friend's words fit with the universe and how it was supposed to work, Zack stealthily reached out and then pulled a squawking cadet into a tight hug, ruffling his hair for good measure. "He's right, you know. Beating yourself up over things you can't change will only drag you down. Just gotta do better next time, right? And now you know to stand your ground."

"I... I guess," Cloud answered, still sounding a little hesitant, but mostly like he had just been hit over the head with a brick.

"Damn right you do. So how does it feel to be accepted into SOLDIER? I'm gonna have to ask you again when you've got your shots of course, but right now I'm too curious to wait."

"Huh? SOLDIER?"

"Uh, yeah? Yanno, the whole reason you signed up for the army?"

"I made it into SOLDIER? Already?!"

"Uhm, duh? Why'd you think they dragged five of the best cadets into the wilderness and had them track home? Oh, the other group came home two days ago, but then their mission was different, can't be helped. They've already been initiated. Sleeping it off now, but we'll have a party once you're all up again to celebrate!"

"A party?" Cloud's mind was having a little bit of trouble catching up. He had been caught up in his own guilt, what? Three minutes ago? And now he was in SOLDIER. In _SOLDIER_!

The slow smile began stretching his face before he caught himself, thinking of Jones. It felt a little bit wrong, being so happy when Jones hadn't made it. Even if he didn't blame himself (and he didn't, not very much at least, not any more because... well, Zack and Abbing was right, damn them both) he was still getting something Jones had obviously been looking forward to and it just felt like... forgetting him to allow the sheer wonder of the knowledge that he had actually made it into the program to overwhelm him.

"Hey." Zack nudged him carefully in the ribs. "It's okay to be happy. Doing better next time is enough to prove you haven't forgotten."

"You sure?"

He was abruptly dragged into a headlock as Zack began rubbing his knuckles harshly along his scalp. "Are you doubting your superiors, you little midget?"

"Ow, Zack, stop it!"

"Are you doubting your superiors?"

"No, Zack. Planet, I'm gonna go bald!"

Zack immediately let go, grinning. "No, we cant have that. Your boyishly good looks would be completely ruined." He couldn't stop grinning though, thinking of a balding Cloud.

Cloud huffed and tried to flatten his now even wilder hair. Not that it was any use of course.

Dr. Ann Bowen entered the room, which immediately fell completely silent. "Hello boys, no Zack, don't even think it." She consulted her clipboard, more to avoid Zack's grinning eyes than any real need to reread it. "As you're all aware of, I'm sure, you've been chosen for the SOLDIER program. You've been detained here until the facility has been made ready for you to take the prescribed mako shots to enter SOLDIER. You'll each be given individual rooms for the procedure, so follow me, please." She waited politely until they each got up, then turned and walked out the door.

Zack shot Cloud a thumbs up as he looked back. His encouraging smile slipped away though, as soon as Cloud had disappeared out the door. The 'procedure' was painful. And risky. And Cloud already had an acute case of latrophobia.

He just hoped his friend could keep it together long enough to go through with the shots.

- - -

A few minutes later in a sterile, one-bed room Cloud was having much the same thoughts. He was desperately clinging to rational thought as some medical assistant or other tried to explain to him the process (something about syringes and mutations of muscle tissue and that they were taking every safety precaution available). He signed the papers handed to him with slightly shaking hands, although his signature was no more unreadable than usual.

Then he was asked to lie down in the bed and relax. He got as far as lying down, at least, but relaxing wasn't quite possible with panic threatening to wrest control from him.

He did his best not to look at the numerous machines placed against the walls, grit his teeth and asked them what was taking so long. They answered that Professor Hojo was the only doctor in the facility allowed to administer mako to the prospective SOLDIERs, as he was the expert and the one who had created the process in the first place.

Gritting his teeth some more he prepared to wait until Professor Hojo (did the _head_ of the Science Research Department really oversee all SOLDIERs?) decided to come along.

He didn't have to wait very long, luckily, although in the state of mind he was in, the few minutes stretched into aeons.

When Hojo entered, though, he wished he had a little longer to wait. His panic sky-rocketed, coursing blindly just under the thin screen of control he kept and the only reason he was even able to keep that control was because he had realised with sudden clarity that he could not under any circumstances allow the thin, bespectacled man standing just inside the doorway to see how scared he was.

The thought was entirely illogical; there was nothing to set Professor Hojo apart from any of his lab assistants, except that he was perhaps older than them, there was no reason why the _sound_ of his steps as he neared the bed where Cloud was lying, one of the assistants following with a tray with three green-glowing syringes in his hands, should fill him with such absolute dread.

Sweat beaded on his forehead, a drop running into his hair.

"No reason to be that nervous, boy," the scientist said, his oily voice causing a shudder to go through Cloud's body before he got it under control again.

He was lying perfectly still as Hojo took a blood sample, was lying perfectly still as the syringes were inserted into his veins, one after the other, and was lying perfectly still as a faint itch, like that of a healing scratch erupted all over his body.

Then the mako hit in truth.

- - -

"_Like you've been there!_"

"_Give me the pleasure of taking it away_."

"_I want to meet... you_."

"..._An informed question, but difficult to answer. I am what you..._"

"..._You are just a puppet_."

"_You were too!_"

"..._Spiky headed jerk. One more time!_"

"..._'Til we get to the end of the line_."

- - -

"His heart is palpitating!"

"What went wrong? How far along in the process is he?"

"Ridiculous. Just a failure."

- - -

"_Strength without determination means nothing_..."

"_You're... the proof that I existed_."

"_Get out of my way, I'm going to see my Mother!_"

"_You're so cute, Miss Cloud_."

- - -

"He's going into cardiac arrest!"

"Clear!"

- - -

"_All it takes for your dreams to come true is money and power_."

"_Elena, you talk too much_."

"..._Frozen in time_..."

"_If this is all a dream_..."

"_Dilly-dally shilly-shally_."

- -

* * *

NOTE: All quotes were taken from FFVII: Crisis Core, FFVII, FFVII: Advent Children and Advent Children Complete. I have a single of quote from the Japanese version of CC because it sounds better. I did my best to not just take all the melodramatic quotes XD

I got a hold of the soundtracks of Crisis Core and Advent Children. I'm so happeh! ;_; (those are happy tears XD) It helps me write.

Oh yeah, and reason number 2 why it's so short is because it's just a brilliant place to end a chapter.


	13. Chapter 12

For some reason a large part of my reviewers thought Cloud had failed some SOLDIER requirement or other... uh... I'm sorry if I accidentally gave tat impression. It was absolutely not intentional (but now that I think of it, maybe I really should have implied it, just for kicks)(ish evil)

IMPORTANT! I just lost my apartment. This has caused a wild amount of stress and misery. Uh... and it means I gotta find a way to rectify the situation and find a job, so... uh... This is not exactly an 'on hold' message (because writing this is my stress relief) but I gotta stop 'stress-relieving' constantly. 'Cause I'm really gonna have to bust my ass off trying to get a job. Woe :( So yeah, just warning you.

–

Disorientation, Cloud decided as he slowly became conscious of being, of existing, was such a wholly insufficient word to describe what he was feeling just then. What had just happened? What _was_ happening?

He became slowly aware that he was lying on a semi-soft surface (military hospital bed his mind automatically categorized) something covering mostb of his body, and least up to his chest. He arms were covered by the blanket as well and he flexed to free them from the impeding material. At least his sword arm should be free. He became aware of voices in the room (I'm in a room) suddenly stopping as he moved, and then the clinical smell hit him making him sneeze. Opening his eyes, though, wasn't an option. The stark light would sear his brain if he tried, he knew, and he was in enough pain as it was. He tried very hard not to think about how he knew that.

A pair of footsteps closed in on the bed and Cloud got a whiff of a body that didn't smell human. Not that it smelled animal either, it smelled alive but too clean, like it had been periodically washed in alcoholic disinfectant and he realized that he recognized not only the smell or the way the person walked, but also the near inaudible wheeze of every breath, the way he would push his glasses up his nose when he was exceptionally annoyed or exceptionally pleased and he knew the exact way this person regarded a human being reduced to a test specimen for the sake of his curiosity.

Before the mad scientist could put his hands on him (again, oh, Planet, Cetra, never again!) Cloud's hand shot up and caught a bony wrist. Still not looking, he had to resist the urge to simply break it and run and find Tifa and see if she was still his, still loved him (again?), if she was still _expecting_ _his child_, but the mere fact that Hojo was alive made it abundantly clear that she wasn't, wouldn't be. Grief lanced through him at the same time as a painful muscle cramp made him grit his teeth harshly.

"Let go of my wrist, Mr. Strife."

Cloud had to swallow a sound of hysteria at being called _Mr._ by this monster before he could reply. He forced himself to add the honorific as he answered. "Professor Hojo." It was a testament of control, he thought to himself, that he hadn't twisted those words to echo with all the levels of hatred and scorn he felt. "If you touch me." He choked, the words too important to leave any room for doubt. "If you touch me, I swear by the Cetra, the moon and the sun, that I will put my hand through your chest." And even Dr. Hojo couldn't live without a heart.

"Don't be irrational. You would regret doing something like that."

He scoffed. Had to scoff at that idea. "Not nearly as much as you." And not nearly as much as Hojo thought he would, that was for sure. Where was he?

His reply clearly gave the scientist pause and Cloud got a vague idea that other people had threatened to kill the doctor before yet never followed through with it. The fact that someone truly seemed willing to risk their own life and everything they had accomplished (I... made it into SOLDIER) just to get rid of him had obviously never happened before.

"You need to have a check-up. You had quite the adverse reaction to the injections."

Cloud sensed victory within his reach and pushed his advantage, just a little, ignoring another spasm. "I'm sure one of your assistants can do it. You just need to take samples, right?"

Hojo huffed, but when he stepped back, Cloud let him go. "Swendsson, check his vitals and take the samples."

"Y-yessir!" The assistant in question almost fell over himself in his hurry to assist. Cloud kept his eyes shut as his pulse and blood pressure were measured, obediently made a fist before three vials was filled for blood samples, answered standard questions about hearing and feeling, twitched as he was supposed to when his reflexes were checked. When the assistant timidly asked him to open his eyes, he told them that they would have to lower the lighting first. Some of the lights right overhead flickered shut and he tentatively opened his eyes, slowly focusing on his surroundings. Hojo was standing just out of Cloud's reach, supervising his assistant and making sure no mistakes were made no doubt. The sadist pushed his glasses up his nose.

Cloud's blood samples had been placed on a slim table next to the door, where the other assistant in the room was standing; a woman, who seemed to be looking at Hojo in abject fascination. Cloud felt bile rise in his throat at the thought that she actually admired the crazy bastard, before his eyes finished their sweep. The machines standing next to his bed were all turned off and he was relieved to note, even though he he had known there wouldn't be, that there wasn't a mako tube anywhere in sight.

He looked into the light the assistant doing his check-up was holding then, grimacing slightly as his retinas burned at the brightness, but checking pupil functionality didn't usually take very long and Swendsson was efficient if a little clumsy at the scrutiny of his superior.

"Right. Your heart beat is a little slower than we would have liked, but your blood pressure seems well within normal for a SOLDIER..." Cloud sucked in a breath. He really was in SOLDIER. "...So unless you feel any unusual pain, it should be fine." Swendsson checked his clipboard again and seemed to compare results between two pieces of paper, shot a look at Hojo and then addressed the new SOLDIER lying still in the bed once more. "Your reaction time actually seems better than a high percentage of other SOLDIERs but unless you're feeling any undue aches, after your body has become accustomed to the mako in your system, that's fine too. Of course.

"Your senses are of course still a little over-sensitive, but once you get used to it that, too, will fade as will the cramps and spasms. For now, we'll only have to conduct some standard procedure tests on your blood samples and then you'll be released. Please rest until then, Mr. Strife."

The scientists left, the woman picking up the blood samples and Hojo shooting one last inscrutable look at the boy before following his assistants.

Cloud closed his eyes and tried to relax, but the disinfected smell covering the machinery, the faint smell of paint and the fact than none of the scientists had bothered to turn off the rest of the light would have been enough to keep him awake, even if his thoughts wasn't doing a jig through a dozen or more tender areas.

What in the world had happened?

A week ago he had _casually run his hand across Tifa's flat stomach and..._ still been trying to get over motion sickness from being stuffed into the back of a transport helicopter as Jones told him to carry his own weight _...just suddenly known there was life there, growing..._ and he had been sulking over unfair treatment even as _...he had made love to her until neither of them could even walk..._ Jones had perished not two days later.

Sighing, Cloud had a sudden wish that there was a desk close enough for him to bang his head against, maybe that would remove the confusion or maybe even wake him up from this crazy... hallucination or whatever it was.

Maybe he had finally gone mad? But if he hadn't lost it during Hojo's years of torture or while fighting Sephiroth and Jenova, why in the world would he go over the edge _now_?

Or maybe those memories weren't even real? Maybe the last nine years of growing up in Nibelheim (again, something inside of him insisted) wasn't the illusion but rather the fantastic (insane, horrible, broken, happy and sad) memories were the illusion? They both felt so... real though.

He felt a laugh bubble up in his throat and squashed it again before hysteria could get a real hold of him.

There was the mako to contemplate too. Mako was condensed lifestream, and as such it was condensed... past lives. Maybe he had just gained a few of their experiences? But... wouldn't that be past? The memories he had just... remembered had definitely been of a future from this point. Mostly. And he had recognized Hojo's footsteps, smell and habits from those memories as well, had gained a whole lot of information that he knew a cadet (newly raised SOLDIER!) should not be privy to. Dangerous information. Information that could probably turn half the world against ShinRa if it became public. Of course, he had no proof for any of it, so he couldn't do anything about it anyway (if it's really real) so that point might be moot.

He jolted when he realized that he had gone from thinking of himself as a part of ShinRa to... to someone against ShinRa. He mulled that over, thinking of the Planet, dying slowly and painfully just for human comfort (because even if the memories were false that made a frightening amount of sense)(Are you doubting that Tifa's love, that your _child_ was a lie?).

A sudden sob choked out of his throat before he stamped that down too.

He had been looking forward to being a father. Even if he already filled that role for Denzel and Marlene, imagining Tifa with a baby, _his_ baby, pressed close to her bosom, it had just.... He had just been looking forward to seeing that, experiencing that, knowing that he could do more than kill monsters. And wasn't that a strange thought because he was fucking _fourteen_ (twenty-seven!) and oh, Planet, he was going to go through puberty again. And with memories of all the things he had done with Tifa, had done _to_ Tifa, a fully mature, beautiful, wicked Tifa...

The need for something hard to bang his head against rose again as his anatomy reacted to his thought process.

_Just hormones_, he told himself. _Perfectly normal reasonable hormonal reaction considering that you're fourteen, shot full of mako and thinking of sex_. He groaned and turned around to bury his face in the sorry excuse for a pillow provided. _Idiot_.

He dredged up that memory of Dr. Hojo at Costa del Sol, sunbathing and paying too many women to pay him attention, which he had carefully stored exactly for occasions like this. The thought that Hojo could return any moment helped and his erection deflated fast. Thank the Cetra.

Firmly _not_ thinking of Tifa (and wasn't that an exercise) Cloud began contemplating what in the world he was doing here.

"_The planet is going to send you back in time... in time to save me._"

He swallowed. Aeris. He was going to save Aeris. Oh. Fuck. And wasn't that just a whole new can of worms?

He barely even noticed when another light cramp made him kick his covers off, merely moved the covers back afterwards.

It had taken him two years to come to terms with the fact that he hadn't saved Aeris, hadn't been _able_ to save her and that he couldn't keep blaming himself for not being strong enough at the time, and then, what, six years after her death, it was suddenly imperative that she survive? How long did it take a planet to find out that it was dying anyway?

And fuck! If he had to go through all that all over again he really was going to lose his mind.

When had he accepted this quest?

Sighing and sitting up to lean his forehead on his knees he reconsidered. He had accepted it the minute he realised that it was necessary. By everything that lived, he wished he could stop being such a hero. He missed the casual way he had been able to dismiss other people's problems, hell, the entire planet's problems, back when he had first joined AVALANCHE. Well. Kind of missed it. It had been a bit lonely.

He sighed again and lied down before shooting up as thought struck with a bolt. He wouldn't... he could... he had been sent so far back... _Zack_! And his _mum_!

Swallowing past a sudden lump in his throat, eyes misting, Cloud couldn't quite contain the careful smile that broke out.

Footsteps sounding through the hall outside his room made him lie back down again, but he couldn't for the life of him seem to banish the smile even as another spasm zigzagged up his back and made him gasp. He could save Zack and his mum as well as Aeris. The three people most important to him next to Tifa and he had the chance to save them!

Hojo and his two assistants entered without knocking, not that Cloud had had any illusions that Hojo would bother with something like that for the sake of someone else's sense of dignity or pride or any such notions, but nevertheless it was a rather crude reminder of the current situation. Which placed him squarely in Hojo's reach.

His grin faded somewhat, but the thought that he could really... that he didn't have to watch them die _again_ kept him from losing it completely.

The smile seemed to take Hojo aback somewhat as though he had never seen an expression of genuine satisfaction. He paused just inside which made both of his assistant almost walk right into him, giving Cloud a cursory look.

"Everything seems within acceptable parameters, Mr. Strife," the scientist said at last, but the way his eyes had narrowed, shooting sharp looks into Cloud's eyes (they'll be mako bright now he thought vaguely) told him that 'acceptable parameters' didn't equal 'normal' and that somehow he had roused Hojo's curiosity. An involuntary shudder, not caused by the mako and the mutations and the cramps, went through him. If Hojo so much as suggested he stay for any further 'examinations', Cloud would be out and running straight through the not-so-good doctor and keep running, SOLDIER be damned.

But the scientist remained curiously silent, shooting a very pointed look at Swendsson before exiting, the woman following him like a puppy on strings. The thought made Cloud shudder again.

"Right, so, Strife, they've assigned lodging for you in the SOLDIER quarters. If you go to the thirty-second floor, a representative will meet you there. You'll continue to experience muscle cramps for as long as half a day, possibly a little longer and you might feel lethargic for a few days until the mako has truly settled. Please, don't do anything strenuous until then. Please contact the science department if you should experience any undue pain or dizziness. You're required to meet for a check-up in five days."

"Uhm, Dr.?" Cloud asked, wondering if his question was even going to be answered. "Dr. Hojo said there was nothing outside of acceptable parameters, but he..." How to explain it in a way that would sound convincingly like a fourteen-year-old and not like someone who had intimate knowledge of Hojo's habits and tells? "He didn't seem like that was all he wanted to say."

Swendsson hesitated, wondering if he should tell the cadet, no, SOLDIER, then decided that it couldn't hurt any. "The percentage of mako in your blood, now, is far more than we calculated, even taking into consideration that you're younger and smaller than most other SOLDIERs. Frankly, I'm amazed you survived with your mind intact, not to mention surviving at _all_, you must have an unusually strong will. The mako we injected must have been more concentrated than normal." Or more probably the person who had calculated the concentration had made a mistake, but you didn't tell _that_ to subjects of medical procedures.

"Oh." Did this mean he had gotten his old enhancements back as well? That would be a help. A huge help.

Swendsson ushered him out the door and locked it after him and Cloud went, more than willing to get away from the disgusting smell that felt much as though it had embedded itself in his now sensitive nose.

It felt weird, going through deserted halls in the ShinRa headquarters. The part of the floor he was on was usually used for SOLDIER operatives, who had been severely injured and needed medical attention beyond what could be done with materia on the field. Cloud tried hard not to think about what could happen to a SOLDIER to demand that kind of help.

Coming out of the elevators, he was met immediately with a hyper armload of black-haired SOLDIER puppy.

"Cloud! Congratulations! How are you feeling? We heard there were some complications and you're the last one up, you didn't go crazy?"

Cloud had to swallow, another lump clogging his throat. He was absolutely not prepared for this. At the same time as he had the memory of Zack in his Second Class uniform, sitting beside him and telling him he was being ridiculous for blaming himself for Jones' death, another memory of Zack, First Class charcoal ruined by bullet holes and soaked in blood, face (his hair was different?) running with more blood, giving him the Buster Sword (Angeal's?!) as his last legacy, was suddenly achingly, horribly clear.

"Fuck, Zack!" And he couldn't help it, pressing himself into Zack's friendly embrace.

"Oi," Zack exclaimed when his smaller friend entirely unexpectedly threw himself into the hug rather than pull away with a protest about personal space or hygiene or something. "Hey, Spiky, was it that bad?" His voice had taken on a more quiet, soothing quality and he began rubbing comforting circles on the other's tense shoulders.

Cloud took a deep breath and extracted himself slightly, but didn't entirely pull away. "You have _no_ idea."

"Uh... I'm supposed to be showing you your new rooms, but if you'd like, we can, yanno, go to mine if you need company or just talk or something...?"

Drawing another shaky breath, the new SOLDIER (SOLDIER! A part of his mind was even now running around in half panicky, half ecstatic little circles over that) finally pulled entirely away. If he allowed himself to seek comfort from Zack's steady shoulder now, he might just break and he knew that he just wouldn't, couldn't, tell Zack what awaited him in the future. Or might await him.

"No. No, thanks, Zack, but I-I'm okay now. Thanks though. For the offer. Where are my rooms?"

Zack shot him a doubtful look, obviously measuring how truthful he had been and Cloud dredged up a half-smile. Not one of those completely fake 'never been better ever in my life' smiles but more a subdued 'I've had better days, but I'll pull through' smile. It tended to be more convincing and seemed to meet Zack's standards, because he answered it with a brilliant one of his own.

"Well, it's really kinda late, not that you can see that inside the building except in the outer rooms, lucky you. When I first got my rooms appointed, people were just sorta standing around. Totally awkward. They're in bed now, you'll get the treatment eventually, but at least you'll have your rest first."

The Second Class kept up a steady stream of chatter as he weaved through an almost labyrinthine set of corridors, the blond Third Class following and feeling much like a lost chocobo chick.

"SOLDIER quarters really aren't all it's cracked up to be, yanno. It's just a small room with a shower attached, but then again, after you've spent any amount of time in cadet barracks, I guess your own room and a private shower's like paradise. I didn't mind the communal thing much, personally, but sometimes you could just use a bit of privacy, if you get my drift? Besides, you're the private type, right? You like your space. Must've been a shock coming here... anyway! We've already relocated your stuff from your room and supplied your new uniform." He grinned. There was no denying that seeing Cloud in a SOLDIER uniform would be great. Angeal was his friend, but also his mentor and besides more than a decade older. Cloud was... more like an equal. Technically Zack was superior, but he felt they had gotten past that already, and now Cloud was in SOLDIER too! And after only half a year, just like him. Only a matter of time before they both made Firsts.

There was no expressing how awesome that was. Would be.

Zack automatically shot a hand out to steady the blond when the continuous cramps made his knees buckle and received a quiet tanks for his trouble.

"Anyways, here's your room. SOLDIER Third Class, Cloud Strife." Tapping the name plate, Zack finally turned grinning at his companion, who was looking exactly as dumbstruck as Zack had felt when he first saw his own name plate next to one of these doors.

Cloud accepted the key card, swiped it and opened the door to his new room, _his_ new room. Zack had been right when he said it was nothing special, really. A tiny entryway with a coat rack, a door leading into a small bathroom with barely enough space for the sink to be crammed in between the toilet and the shower stall, and a bedroom containing a bed, a desk with a straight-backed chair and a wardrobe. But while the wardrobe wasn't exactly huge and the desk was rather small, the bed seemed to actually be twin-size, rather than the extra narrow version cadets were saddled with, and when Cloud went to sit on it the mattress was springy and even. He couldn't quite resist bouncing a little.

Zack grinned at him from the doorway, satisfied with the reaction. "It's too complicated explaining where my room is, I'll come find you tomorrow and show you. Sweet dreams, Cloud, and... congratulations." They both grinned before Zack closed the door, leaving Cloud once again to his thoughts.

The room smelled clean. Not like medical facilities, which smelled like disinfectant and medicine, but rather like someone had been just a little too generous with the detergent the last time it was cleaned. It was probably, Cloud mused morbidly, to erase the scent of whoever had lived there before. The higher-ups did have intimate knowledge of the sensitive nose of a SOLDIER.

Rolling around and inhaling the scent of heavenly clean bedsheets, the smell of detergent on these were vague, Cloud felt a sudden overwhelming sense of accomplishment. He had really done it. Without cheating. Instinctively knowing how to swing a sword didn't count, there was more to being a SOLDIER than that. Persevering no matter what, for one, something he hadn't done in those other memories.

A look in the closet intensified the feeling again, as he looked over three new, blue, sleeveless shirts, shoulder pauldrons neatly placed next to them and trousers, still stiff with starch and smelling of it, folded under the SOLDIER issue helmet. His few personal belongings seemed to have been taken from the cadet quarters most likely courtesy of Zack as well, considering the care whoever had taken with it.

Cloud stripped out of his cadet uniform for the last time, and had he really been wearing the same uniform since he had been abducted once upon a time more than a week ago? He was in serious need of a shower. It was amazing that Zack had been touching him willingly, especially since he had the distinct feeling that he smelled even worse after the... whatever exactly had happened with his mako injections.

He entered the shower, finding military issue soap and took his time letting the hot water (actual hot water, not lukewarm or icy) beat down on his body, taking his lingering tenseness with it down the drain. It felt amazing to put on a simple pair of pyjama bottoms and slide under the white cotton sheets. His pillow was even fluffy!

Cloud had planned on contemplating the... visions, delusions, memories, of another world, where Zack had died, where there was a girl named Aeris, who had also died, where General Sephiroth had gone mad and decided to end the world and where he had never made it into SOLDIER and even then had saved the world, but exhaustion and contentment combined with the comfort of a real bed soon pulled him under.

- - -

Waking up excited was an entirely new feeling. Not the waking and being awake immediately, he had done that both the in the strangely familiar memories and more recently every single time he had woken up since Jones died and he had been given responsibility (again? For the first time in his life?) without really wanting the responsibility (again? For the...?) but accepting the responsibility because he really was the one best suited (agai...?).

But that day he woke up excited, genuinely happy, looking forward to the day and wanting to get up immediately just to see what would happen! He felt like a child (I _am_ a child!) (Am not, I'm fourteen!) on the day of his birthday.

...He would have to tackle those memories later because the ongoing quarrel in his head over whether he was a child or not was getting on his nerves, and surely he would be allowed respite for a day before trying to tackle the whole save the world issue, before saving Aeris (know someone named Aeris. Knew?) and, Planet, Zack!

With a force of will he knew came from those new, old memories he pushed the whole ugly affair away and got dressed in the brand new uniform, blue, sleeveless. He left the helmet.

He was smiling, that little quirk of his lips that Tifa had always said (hadn't ever commented on... by the gods, stop!) was better seen through his eyes.

He made it through the corridors more through luck than any remembrance of the path Zack had taken him and caught elevator two floors up, where the SOLDIER mess and was. It was noon. Everyone not on a mission would be eating.

Entering the mess hall, Cloud searched briefly for Zack, but the Second Class saw him first. "Cloud!" He called excitedly and all eyes suddenly turned at the cry, trying to figure out what had gotten Fair's attention. "Wow, you're already up, didn't expect you back on your feet for a while yet. Hungry?"

Cloud's stomach rumbled loud enough that not a few SOLDIERs nearby chuckled.

"That's a yes, come on, they've got a really good special today, you'll love it!"

The special, as it turned out, consisted of chicken fried in butter with whole garlic and assorted root vegetables baked with provincial spices and topped with gratuitous amounts of gravy.

Cloud didn't speak much as he ate, letting Zack update him on the gossip as he stuffed the huge meal down his throat, barely even chewing. He hadn't truly realised how hungry he was before he had gotten a whiff of his plate and despite the amount of food Zack had piled for him he still went for seconds and a piece of almost creamy chocolate cake for desert.

Zack just smirked knowingly and continued his chatter until Cloud had wiped up the last crumbs from his tray.

"Hey, Zack, where's Angeal?" He asked.

"Oh, him. The mighty lieutenant general is in a meeting with the mighty general and the other mighty lieutenant general together with the mighty president and the mighty heads of the departments. Oh, and Director Lazard. Something about strategy in Wutai that I'm not supposed to be privy to." He yawned pointedly, ignoring the exasperated looks he was getting. "You feeling up for a spar? I'll go easy on you, since you're new to the whole mako enhancement thing."

"Like you went easy on me last year?"

"Maybe not quite that easy," he grinned.

"I'm in. Prepare to get your ass handed to you, though." Maybe then he wouldn't feel quite so much like _bouncing_ with all the ridiculous amount of energy running through him. And he hadn't had a single spasm or cramp since he woke.

"That sounds like a challenge!" Cloud suddenly and very acutely regretted his words as his friend, with an unholy glint in his eyes, stood up on the bench they were sitting on. "Listen, gentlemen!" He called loudly, gaining the attention of the entire room. "My little friend here, Cloud Strife, just made SOLDIER. He came out of the medical bay last night at 3 in the morning! And do you want to know what he just told me when I generously offered a light spar to allow him to gently ease into his new enhancements? He told me, _me_, to be prepared to get my ass handed back!" A chorus of cajoling, cat calling and a few "that's the way to go, kid" resounded making Cloud sink a bit lower in his seat while Zack preened. After a while, though, he raised his hands and the gathering of SOLDIERs quieted.

"This, of course, is a challenge and in accordance with unofficial company policy must be met and witnessed by... appropriate witnesses. Anyone here willing to do the honours?"

"I am," a calm authoritative voice sounded from the entrance. Both Zack and Cloud jumped as they saw the three figures standing there; Genesis, Angeal, and Sephiroth. The three most respected and well-known SOLDIERs. The three _best_ SOLDIERs.

Zack broke into a brilliant grin, beaming at his mentor, who was the one who had offered. Angeal raised an eyebrow, causing Zack's smile to go up another notch.

"I think I would like to see it as well," a smooth cultured baritone broke in. All eyes turned to Sephiroth, who looked entirely unaffected by the flabbergasted expressions of his subordinates. "After all, both Zack Fair and Cloud Strife made it into the program in only half a year. Wouldn't it be interesting to see them pitted against the other?" For all of Sephiroth's only mildly bemused tone it released a new chorus of cajoling, even louder than before.

"Hmm, it certainly does sound interesting," Genesis interjected. "Where do you suggest we hold this duel? It seems like not a few would be interested."

For all of his airs, Zack hadn't quite expected his teasing to have caused that much of a commotion. He shot a measuring look at his blond companion, but Cloud's attention seemed entirely focused on the three Firsts, an undefinable emotion in his eyes. "Oi, Cloud?" He tried, keeping his voice low enough that only Cloud could hear..

"Mhm?"

"Uh, sorry about this. I thought maybe just a few of the guys were gonna follow us but now it's turned into a whole circus... you still game?"

"What? Oh." Cloud finally dragged his eyes back from where Sephiroth was conferring with his friends about an appropriate place for a SOLDIER duel and noticed Zack's contrite look. He sighed, knowing that there was no way he could be angry with the burly idiot when he so looked liked a kicked puppy. "Yeah, don't think I'll be going easy on you now."

"What? Go easy on me?! Oh, that's it, you're so going down."

Cloud _smirked_. He had way more battle experience than Zack and now he had enhancements as well.

"Cloud. If you keep smirking like that, I'm gonna think you're serious."

"I am, Zack. Entirely serious."

- -

NOTE: If you find any unforgivable canon transgressions concerning canon time line, SOLDIER procedures, or other... things (XD) they are most likely deliberate to fit plot or just to make it more exciting (I am very good at knowing my canon, usually) however even so, you're welcome to tell me. I'm hardly infallible.

Just for starters, I've moved the canon time line for when Genesis defected, which would have happened already in October the year Cloud (this Cloud, not canon!Cloud) registered and with Angeal defecting a month later. So! That's cleaned up. The official time line can be found on dot com under the FFVII topic (it's very helpful).

Next: Cloud and Zacks duel. And some more introspection and decisions made. ...Yes, this time I won't take the easy way out and just make a comment about what happened.


	14. Chapter 13

Ugh. Sorry for long wait. I've been... preoccupied, to put it mildly.

* * *

They decided on the drilling ground and Sephiroth easily had it cleared of troops using a mix of charm and calm authority. Cloud kept an eye on the general the entire time, but there were no signs of the mad man he had known except perhaps for his penchant for manipulation. It was... strange, watching the silver haired man stand idle, listening politely to the awestruck captain, whose drills they had interrupted. The troops had cleared out to the sides and Cloud realised with dismay that aside from all the SOLDIERs, he would be fighting in front of a bunch of troops, some of which he actually recognized vaguely as drop-outs from the SOLDIER program.

He continued the warm-up exercises, eyeing Zack who was stretching while eagerly talking with another Second Class. Kunsel or something.

"Uh, Zack? What am I fighting with?"

"Hm? A sword of course, we're SOLDIERs."

Raising an eyebrow, Cloud had to wonder where Zack's wits were at. "I haven't been issued a sword, Zack."

"Of course not. They're collecting one for you now, hey, no, they have collected... _three_ for you. What the hell?"

"Hey, Fair," Omdahl called, jogging up to him with Jaeger in tow and carrying two of the three swords they had brought. "We weren't sure of his size and besides, we thought he used a pretty big one on our little trip, so we brought a few."

"Ha, maybe he should try with two. Might need the extra edge to beat me."

"I can fight with two, Zack. I better not though," he couldn't help adding. "You'll be humiliated enough as it is, using two would just be overkill."

"When the hell did you get so cocky, Spiky?" Zack spluttered, punching Cloud in the shoulder good-naturedly.

_Somewhere between defeating Sephiroth and making it into SOLDIER_, he thought but only shrugged outwardly.

He was handed the swords one at a time and decided on the longest one. He swung it a couple of extra times, getting himself familiarized with its flexibility and weight, which earned him a wide array of approving nods from the other SOLDIERs. Of course, they thought he was less experienced than any of them.

"Now, Cloud, go and smack Zack's ass, both Jaeger and I have money riding on it!"

"You _what_?!"

"Oh, come on, Cloud. Everyone here thinks Zack'll win, they know how strong he is, but none of them ever fought you. We believe in you, kid! Besides, they're taking bets almost four to one, who'd pass up this chance? Welcome to SOLDIER."

The blond could do nothing but shake his head at their idiocy. "Leave the other swords, there was an imbalance in one of them, it'd be too dangerous to take on a mission." Ignoring their surprise at his confident appraisal, he followed after Zack in onto the middle of the open space.

Angeal was playing the role of announcer as Zack and Cloud, prodigy SOLDIERs, faced each other. "Okay, gentlemen! First blood finishes the duel, no killings or I'll disqualify you. No limit breaks or you'll be disqualified as well, otherwise, all's fair." He shot a look at Cloud who rolled his eyes. Just imagining pulling off Meteorain or Finishing Touch here made him cringe. He still hadn't dealt with the ambiguity of his feelings towards Sephiroth, general Sephiroth, and the likelihood that the attacks would hit the general was just too high. He did not want to deal with the consequences of that, but at least he wasn't holding First Tsurugi. Version 5 could _kill_ even Sephiroth in one strike (well, technically it was more than one strike) and the consequences of _that_ would be either execution or Hojo.

No, better to avoid limit breaks altogether.

"Ten steps!" Angeal's voice pulled him abruptly back to the here and now and he copied Zack, turning his back on the other SOLDIER and walking ten steps. He eyed the SOLDIERs and troopers in front of him. The troopers were keeping a respectful or even fearful distance from he SOLDIERs, but the jostling from before had ceased and people were watching Zack and him with a little too much attention to be strictly comfortable. There were eyes at his back too, he felt, and he rolled his shoulders, trying to get rid of the itch. The Firsts gazes especially felt almost like an awl digging into his back compared to everyone else's needle pricks.

"Stand ready!" Why did they had to have all this melodrama anyway? "Fight!"

At Angeal's yell, Zack immediately turned and shot towards where Cloud should have been. But the little blond was already airborne, jumping straight up instead of turning and doing a back flip, taking the opportunity to track where Zack was. Zack had stopped as soon as he realised Cloud wasn't where he was supposed to be and simply stood his ground, waiting for the other to come down. Their swords collided before Cloud's feet touched ground, and taking advantage of the force of the clash he flicked back again, gaining some distance.

That one clash had been... exhilarating. Cloud's feet skidded on the ground and Zack was already moving towards him, grinning like a loon. They met again, the sound of sword meeting sword ringing loudly, as Cloud blocked Zack's powerful swing, twisting it aside and retaliating with a thrust, which Zack barely avoided.

"Mother and Planet, Cloud," Zack panted, still grinning fiercely. "I knew you were a prodigy but how can you suddenly be _this_ _fast_?"

"Mako, Zack. It's called mako." He spun and aimed a blow at Zack's hip, which was blocked instantly, but with his speed he was able to draw the sword back and block before Zack could retaliate.

Off to the side Sephiroth was watching the two combatants as attentively as everyone else, maybe even more so. He had always had difficulty judging other people's abilities, since he had a tendency to compare with his own, but he thought that Angeal's protégé was moving well, showing skill beyond his years and experience. It probably wouldn't be all that long before he made First Class, especially if what Angeal told them about his abilities on missions were anything to go by, and knowing Angeal, the black-haired man was probably understating rather than exaggerating.

The blond, however, was something else entirely. He was showing abilities even beyond his opponent; there was a finesse in his wrists and an elegance in his ankles when he shifted his weight which was entirely too alluring and spoke of supreme ease and the ability to predict his opponent. If Cloud was able to keep his head about him on a mission, and Jaeger's and Omdahl's report had spoken in that favour, then Cloud was _born_ to be in SOLDIER.

"By Minerva's eyes, I've never seen anything like it," Genesis exclaimed, as Strife executed an impossibly tight parry and jumped right out of it into attack. "Well, not in a recently raised cadet at least, are you sure he had no experience before he signed up? He looks like he's been fighting for years."

"I had Zack ask and he said the boy seemed more confused at the idea than guilty of lying or trying to hide anything."

"I see." None of them was going to question whether Angeal trusted that judgement or not. The honour bound SOLDIER would just give them a lecture about trust and friendship and being called down out here in front of everyone would be humiliating.

"Your puppy isn't doing bad, either. Strife seems a bit more skilled and faster, but I doubt many here could have stood up to him for more than a few minutes if that." And wasn't that something to contemplate?

The two figures circling each other in the middle of the square was almost performing pure showmanship of sword art, exchanging parries and attacks in a blur probably too fast fast for the regular troopers to follow. No blood had been drawn yet, and that, more than anything else, was a true testament to their ability.

Still, Strife did have the upper hand.

The blond in question was too preoccupied with the sheer elation of testing his body's limits to take note of the incredulous looks he was gathering. Fighting someone who, well, Zack wasn't quite as good as he was and he was steadily gaining ground on the other, but it was still a challenge; Zack was changing tactics with almost every blow and he still had an edge in pure physical strength. A slight edge, true, but still an edge.

Cloud thought he wasn't as strong as he had been in the new-old memories (he was so going to have to catalogue them properly)(not now, later!), and maybe not quite as fast. His body was of course more limited in and of itself, it was younger, slimmer, shorter, and he had no idea how much the mako injections was affecting him still. He was _supposed_ to feel lethargic, not that he was, so he probably wasn't really at full strength, not even for his currently limited form.

He caught another blow aimed for his shoulder, gritting his teeth, and threw it back. There was also something to be said of a fair fight with no higher stakes than dignity, no live or die deals, no win or condemn the entire planet to destruction situation. Just him and Zack battling it out to see who was best.

Their swords caught and Zack pressed his advantage, putting most of his weight into the deadlock, they stared into each other's eyes for a few moments, both recognizing the glee in the other before Cloud jumped back. Zack followed and their duel went from centred within the ring of spectators to sweeping all over the place, half the confrontations happening mid-air and making spectators lurch back when they seemed to move too close.

Zack realised just a second too late that Cloud's limber body was advantageous when they were that mobile as the blond took advantage of his own lower centre of gravity to make an impossible spin and flick the older SOLDIER's sword right out of his hand.

Zack found himself suddenly with a sharp tip pointing at his jugular. "I give, I give," he laughed, putting up his hands. The admittance, apparently, was the sign of some sort of permission for half the collected SOLDIERs (the troops was still keeping a respectful distance) that Cloud had completely put out of his head to flock around, clap his back and wish him congratulations. Omdahl was the first to arrive and he hit Cloud so hard in the back, the boy almost stumbled, while he bragged to anyone who cared to listen, which wasn't many, that he had _known_ the kid could do it.

Jaeger just offered a confident smirk and dragged his friend off to wherever.

The backslapping continued though, by other SOLDIERs, even as yet others simply turned and left. Cloud didn't even get an opportunity to answer the multitude of questions thrown at him, before Sephiroth and his two lieutenants came over, a path automatically opening for them and the gathering fell silent.

The way Angeal and Genesis was flanking the general, people might be tempted to compare them to a pair of glorified flunkies at a distance but no flunkie would ever move with the quiet sort of dignity Angeal possessed or the dismissive arrogance Genesis managed with every step, making it obvious that he was walking this way on his own right and Sephiroth just happened to be walking in front.

Cloud had to wonder what kind of friendship the three shared; Angeal's dignity, Genesis' arrogance and Sephiroth's pride. There was just no way they could _not_ clash, but then... No. Deal with the memories _later_! Refrain from automatically attacking the general _now_.

"That was an impressive performance, from both of you," Angeal praised, smiling. Sephiroth didn't say anything and Genesis was glaring at everyone else, clearly intending them to leave now that the show was over. A couple SOLDIERs did go, but most simply fell back, just out of hearing range.

"Thanks, Angeal!" Zack answered, as though being approached by these three, the firsts among Firsts, didn't faze him at all, although his smile was just a little more blinding than usual.

"I have to ask," Genesis interjected, now that he was satisfied with the distance the other SOLDIERs had taken. "How's it possible for you to be that fast? It hasn't been a day since you came from the medical bay, and additionally, it's your first shots. I think you might match a First for pure speed."

Cloud gulped. "Uh," he hedged, stalling. Well, he could just say what he had been told, couldn't he? "I was told... you know the complications? That the shots I was given was unusually concentrated..." He gave himself a pat on the back for really sounding like a fourteen-year-old awed out of his wits by the presence of the Firsts and not someone their _own_ age, who wasn't _entirely_ impressed. These idiots had broken Zack's heart. Well, they hadn't yet, technically.

He fought back a sigh, keeping focus on the three men while hoping they would confuse it with awe and tongue-tied teenager. He missed a short, calculating look from Zack entirely before Angeal was there, just a little too close, checking his temperature and eyes with a worried frown.

"Your eyes does seem very bright." Cloud recognized that as mako bright rather than fever bright. "But you don't seem too overheated. Any idea exactly_ how_ concentrated the mako shots were?"

"Uh..." Probably concentrated enough it should have been crystallized into materia if he really had gotten all his enhancements back. "Not really. They didn't seem too eager to talk about it."

Sephiroth huffed. "They wouldn't. Hojo's not smart enough to admit when he made a mistake."

The statement made Cloud blink in surprise. Of course he already knew of Sephiroth's dislike of the mad-man, but somehow he had missed how vocal the general would be about it with regular SOLDIERs.

"How much _did_ they tell you?" Angeal again, still looking just slightly concerned.

"Well, Ho-Professor Hojo didn't say anything except that I fell inside 'acceptable parameters', but... I asked Dr. Swendsson and he said that it was a miracle I survived. Sir!" He added at the last minute, suddenly remembering exactly how much these people were supposed to be his superiors. They didn't seem to notice though, all four, Zack included, staring at him in more or less veiled shock.

"What?!" Cringing at the shrill tone, Cloud fixed his gaze on Zack. "You could've... and we just... Geez." He rubbed the back of his neck, shoulders hunched, a sign that he felt guilty or nervous and was trying to find the best thing to do or say to rectify that. "I knew there were complications but seriously, buddy, next time just tell me you need rest or something, alright?"

Acutely aware of the three commanders observing them, Cloud chose his words carefully. "I feel okay, though. The cramps stopped sometime last night." Just a normal fourteen-year-old without a clue, out testing his new "ride". He hissed annoyed as just then a violent cramp ran down the back of his left leg. "Ugh, I said that too early. Is it okay if I go back to my room?" And hopefully he could get away from those entirely too penetrating stares in the process. Especially Sephiroth and Zack, of all people, were looking at him weirdly he thought.

"Of course, Cloud. Do you need any help?" Angeal asked politely.

"No, thanks, I'll be fine. Goodbye." Annoyingly aware of what would expected of him he saluted to the general, battling a somewhat instinctive revulsion, and turned to walk back inside and take the elevator and hopefully find his own room.

He felt their gaze on him the entire way, even while he was excusing himself to other SOLDIERs, who were trying to congratulate or challenge him or both.

Angeal turned with a raised eyebrow to Zack, who was still looking pensive. "What is it?" If there was one thing Zack was better at than anyone else, it was reading people and for the young SOLDIER to look like that, he must have seen something unusual.

"I dunno, Angeal. It's... kinda like he's hiding something, yanno?"

"He was lying," Sephiroth interjected, sounding annoyed.

"No... No, I don't think he was," Zack replied, oblivious or maybe not caring who he was talking back to. "It's more like he just didn't say everything there was to say." Strange. Not that Cloud withheld information, the kid rarely said anything if it wasn't relevant, but rather that it seemed like it was _important_ information.

- - -

Cloud finally, safely, made it back to his room, where he allowed himself to drop bonelessly into bed. Being the centre of attention had always been exhausting but it was definitely worse when the people interested had superior rank. You can't, as a recently raised Third, just tell a Second or, hell, even one of the few Firsts not in Wutai, that you needed some time alone. At least the returning cramps were good for something, since they gave him an excuse to make himself scarce even if they were rather more painful than they had been yesterday. Note to self: Don't take part in excessive physical activity right after having mako injections. Not even when feeling hyper active.

It meant though, that now he had the time and peace to ponder and he wasn't likely to fall asleep either. The spar, including all the fuss and commotion, had taken perhaps an hour. There was another five or six until dinner. Plenty of time. He hoped.

The first thing to do would be to categorise them. It was getting tiring to refer to them as 'those visions or delusions or whatever'. And they _felt_ like memories. Surely if it had really been a vision it would have been a worst case scenario? Like even if Sephiroth hadn't won, surely he would have seen the result of Aeris' death? Like _how_ the world would end? Besides, they were much too consistent. There were too much between the, what could he call them, world events? So. Definitely not visions.

Delusions? Made no sense either. Delusions would have him be First first and _then_ save the world. And they wouldn't contain all the bad stuff, the guilt and the misery and the death.

Besides, if he had been sent back and somehow lost his memory on the way... everything made sense. The latrophobia (which he thought now wasn't all that illogical and now that he knew why he was scared, maybe it would be easier to battle?), the reasons he had been so scared for his mother back when he was five, his abilities with a sword, his _inability_ to adjust to Mårdh's instructions, his abilities with materia, the ease with which he had relearned... well, he had never had biology or history to the extent he had had while as a cadet, but he had been tuning on Fenrir for years, had built First Tsurugi from scratch himself. He had at least known machines and metal. The ease with the rest could be the result of the fact that he had been forced to get used to a lot of homework right at the beginning of training. Or maybe that he was just very focused.

He hadn't had that... before. Nor had he been as stubborn or rather, he had been exactly as stubborn, but with no sense of self-worth there had been no drive to prove that _they_ were wrong. Planet, he had been pathetic in those memories, his first attempt at joining SOLDIER.

Maybe he preferred to think of the other-memories as an illusion but then... no. He was certain all of the bad things had shaped him, had given him part of who he still was. So they had to be memories (it was surprising how easily he had just accepted that) and... all the happiness that he had finally found had been taken away from him. Again. Growling, he hit the wall, satisfied that even reinforced walls, like the ones the SOLDIER quarters had been built of, dented when he hit it.

That made him, what? Twenty-seven or fourteen or thirty-six? No, definitely not thirty-six. He might have been in the past for nine years, sort of, but it wasn't as though he had matured any in that time and in any case, he had gotten the other memories _fresh_ from the lifestream. Even having decided that chronologically they fit before he woke up with their family doctor hovering over him, the memories of the last nine years still felt parallel to the other memories and it wa sjust slightly disconcerting to remember. Five years ago he had saved a nine-year-old Tifa from that rickety old bridge, six years ago... He had helped a twenty-year-old Tifa save the world. And Aeris had died.

Saving Aeris was going to be complicated. The possibility of letting events unfold and just keep her safe was too ridiculous to even contemplate and carried too many risks, so he would have to get to the root of the problem and take that out, which meant either Sephiroth, Hojo, or ShinRa company.

Sephiroth had already been... created was probably the best term. He could maybe manage to eliminate the general; being a Third Class ensured that he would have the opportunity to get close enough, surely, but... a picture of the general listening politely to a regular infantry captain entered his head together with the way he had seemed inordinately satisfied after his bout with Zack, as though Cloud's accomplishment had actually pleased the man. And then another memory, from another time, intruded. A memory where he was standing with a sword, bloodied, exhausted and feeling a well of pity for the one-winged creature he was fighting.

"_You just don't get it at all. There's not a thing I _don't_ cherish!_"

He had been wondering then, faintly, underneath the focus of the fight, what it felt like to have _nothing_ to cherish. No friends, no family, not a prized possession or a valued pet. Nothing. The thought had made him sad. It must have been lonely. Sephiroth hadn't even cherished Jenova, not even though he thought she was his mother. Maybe he had tried, once, but the hatred had not left space for any other, more tender emotions.

He had never really known the general in the past, only a trooper, star-struck and naïve to boot, he had seen only what ShinRa projected. But Zack had known him and respected him and cared and... Cloud was willing to trust in Zack's judgement. Zack wouldn't care for someone who was really evil.

Eliminating ShinRa Electric Power Company was... something he was going to have to do eventually, but it was doubtful that he could do it within the time frame that had been set, if he was supposed to prevent all those terrible events that would shape the world in general and himself in particular.

And Zack.

In his old life, he had never known Zack until just before that fateful mission to Modeoheim, where Zack had been forced to slay Angeal and had inherited the Buster Sword. Zack had still been Zack after that, and Cloud felt oddly humiliated thinking of the strength of character that must take, but it had been more than just his hair that had changed. Zack had been forced to grow up in a way the usually happy SOLDIER should never have had to, had been forced to realize that the world didn't turn out fine if only he put enough effort into it and that had probably broken the warrior just a bit.

Likely as not, that could have been the reason he had put any effort at all into their then friendship.

Cloud had the faint sense that he had been a 'project' for the SOLDIER at the time. He had been slim and not all that tall, the runt of the pack so to speak, lacking in both social skills and self-confidence. Perfect for someone like Zack to concentrate on rather than the grief of losing his mentor.

And now that Cloud actually knew Angeal, had seen him, talked with him, and more importantly had actually seen the friendship between mentor and mentee, he knew that he would have to prevent that final confrontation between them. He could not allow Zack to lose faith in the world again, not even a little.

And that meant he had Hollander to worry about as well.

He had never really known all that much about what had happened to the trio of Firsts, except that... Genesis had deserted, because of some medical condition, taking Hollander with him to avoid the possible end result. Angeal had followed and then later, the Nibelheim incident and Sephiroth's madness. The rest, as they say, were history. Except it wasn't, not here, not now. Not _yet_.

There was no telling what exactly had provoked that chain of events, it hadn't exactly been public knowledge and he had only been a trooper. Even a trooper on a mission to retrieve the two missing men was only told the objective. Who would bother explaining the details, especially when they were of such a sensitive character, to a footslogger?

So, that left the doctors. Hojo and Hollander, the creators of the top three. Joy.

It wasn't that he couldn't look forward to exact his revenge on Hojo, but... Hojo carried a high degree of esteem by the company and it wasn't like President Shinra would simply throw him to the wolves if Cloud revealed to the rotund man what the professor had been using his company resources for. President Shinra had no empathy, no ethics and certainly didn't care if he, directly or indirectly, had been the source of immense suffering for another human being.

Maybe if he proved that Hojo was planning on raising Sephiroth to the level of a god? No, that would only ensure ShinRa Corp.'s power, or that's how the president would view it at least. No, the only way to get Shinra to wash his hands of the sick scientist would be if it somehow got out to the public and the public reacted and Cloud simply did not have the resources to convince the public to such a degree, never mind having the proof in the first place. And with ShinRa's public relations as they were, it would be easy, more than easy, for them to discard everything as fabricated.

If he was going to pull Hojo down, he needed help. There was just no way a no name Third Class, however praised, would be able to turn public opinion about.

The question was; who could help him?

* * *

I noticed that the story was put on several more community listings (and thanks to whoever did that!) and since it seems like I got a couple new favourites since then (ahaha, master of understatements, that I am) I'm just curious... To all my readers, how did you guys find the story? Just, like, FFVII frontpage or through other means?


	15. Chapter 14

Beware the long-winded explanations! Do point out to me if I get anything glaringly wrong XD

* * *

It had taken the better part of a day to decide who was best suited. Or rather, it had taken all of five minutes to discard both General Sephiroth and Lieutenant General Rhapsodos as too unstable, Director lazard as too unknown, and Zack as too... well-known. He just didn't want to involve his best friend, the best friend he'd ever had next to, perhaps, Tifa, and she was a different kind of best friend. This mission was to dangerous in too many ways to risk that Zack got involved.

Which left Angeal. But the mere possibility that Angeal might break Zack's heart again over some stupid ideal of honour was not something he wanted to risk. Ever. Unless he had no choice, which was the reason he hadn't acted the previous day. Despite it all, despite all the misery and sadness, hadn't they reached the best possible outcome? As Tifa said; sadness was the price to see it end. If he made it so that none of it happened, would the Planet be able to survive? How was he going to prevent the ShinRa Company from sucking the planet dry without Sephiroth as the catalyst? And also, even if he could pull down the President himself, Rufus had been... worse, which still seemed impossible, until that near-death experience.

Cloud had no idea what exactly had happened at that time, hadn't cared at all about anything beyond his little family and those he called friends, but somehow, Rufus had acknowledged the guilt he carried, the blame ShinRa Company carried and that was not something Cloud thought he could duplicate.

But still. He just could not risk losing Zack again and preventing Sephiroth from going mad was the safest way to protect Aeris and unless he acted, everything _was_ going to go the hell in a hand basket, probably in less than half a year. Maybe.

He just didn't know. His memories of his previous time in the military were vague at best, and he suspected that even if they weren't, the amount of information he had known then would be minimal and all but useless.

And so, now he was standing outside of Angeal's office, having made certain that Zack was elsewhere, welcoming the other new SOLDIERs, who had still been in bed the previous day, giving them the tour and the speech, something Cloud had received after dinner yesterday, not that there was really all that much to be told. No command jobs until, unless, you make First, do what you're told and be efficient and whatever you do, Respect Sephiroth.

It was funny, really, how especially that last had been capitalized.

Thinking about such didn't get him anywhere with his current mission. He could act respectful with Sephiroth if he ever needed it, right now he had more important things on his mind.

Carefully slotting his plan of action into a semblance of order, he knocked and promptly received permission to enter.

Angeal was sitting and looking through reports but looked up when Cloud opened the door. "Yes?" He asked, putting the stack slightly to the side to allow Cloud his full attention.

"Angeal. Sir. I have a question and it's very important that you answer me truthfully."

He could see that his serious, imploring tone took the First aback but he nodded, leaning forward a bit and signalled for Cloud to continue regardless. Cloud had his full attention.

"When a SOLDIER dies, they disappear, dissolving into lifestream and nothing else. Like monsters."

"Yes. It's due to the mako in our blood, it acts as a-..."

"I know," he interrupted. In truth, he could probably give Angeal a much more detailed review of the hows and whys of the process, being forced through lectures akin to this at the very beginning of his stay with Hojo while he had still been lucid. Terrified, yes, but aware. That, and he could still remember what it felt like to die. "That's not my question." He back-tracked suddenly, realising that pretending to act like a fourteen-year-old, insecure and seeking guidance had been thrown out the window. Cursing mentally he continued nevertheless, trying for a less rude tone of voice. "I wanna know what exactly makes us different from monsters; we kill like they do, mercilessly, and when we die we're erased just the same. What makes SOLDIERs different from monsters? What makes _me_ different from a monster?" There. Angeal would have to say something placating now, he couldn't possibly condemn a newly instigated SOLDIER to the belief that he was a monster before he had even killed another human being.

The question, though, seemed to be more shocking than Cloud had anticipated and Angeal took a good while to answer.

"I don't want to just give you some placating half-truth; it would be easy saying something like 'because of our appearance' or 'because we're smarter', but that only makes us more efficient, doesn't it?" He hesitated again, steepling his fingers and frowning for another minute or so. "I believe that what makes us, you, me, Zack, everyone, different from pure monsters is our purpose. We kill, yes, but we kill with the purpose of bettering other people's lives not just for selfish gains. Maybe, instead of saying it's purpose that marks the difference, you could say it's our heart. Or our soul. Are you religious, Cloud?"

Cloud shook his head in the negative, walking closer to the other SOLDIER to look into his eyes. "Do you really believe what you just said?" He asked.

"On such short notice, that is the only answer I can give. I'll admit it's not something I've used a lot of time contemplating but I can tell you that here and now, I believe it."

"What if we changed appearance? The mako already mutated the structure of our muscles and the receptors of most of our senses. What if we suddenly, say, grew wings?"

"Wings? I... don't suppose it would make a difference, really, as long as your mind was still the same. Although I imagine that finding out you had wings could be a severe blow to your sanity."

The Third Class bend over the desk, scrutinizing how honest the answer was, not caring one bit for exactly how disrespectful he was acting just then before nodding, satisfied.

"I guess you're gonna have to find out exactly how unsettling it is."

"Excuse me?" Somehow, Angeal thought, he had been reduced by this lean, young boy to some kind of... examinee. And somehow he had the feeling that he had only just passed whatever exam he had been subjected to.

The sharp smile Cloud replied with was hardly reassuring, carrying nothing but grim amusement. "How long will it take you to finish your paperwork? I came here at the end of the day, hoping you'd be almost finished, but it doesn't seem like you are."

"Strife." And suddenly it wasn't a slightly confused but overbearing man Cloud was facing, but rather his commanding officer, Lieutenant General Angeal Hewley, and he was just about getting annoyed. "I should thank you to keep your tone respectful when speaking to a superior officer." Angeal followed the order, there was no way it could be interpreted as simply a request, with a firm look in his eyes.

"Yes, sir. Sorry, sir," Cloud replied, well within respectful, but they both knew that it was merely an empty formality.

Angeal sighed. What had happened to the very quiet and ever respectful boy they had initiated? True, new SOLDIERs tended to lose some of the formalities but not all at once. It usually took at least a week, when they had gotten used to their new strength and had truly realised that they had succeeded. Genesis took great pleasure, every so often, to thoroughly show them that they may have made SOLDIER but they were still far from the top.

"Tell me what it is you wanna tell me," he ordered, instead of delivering a lecture and an appointment with the volatile First. Despite himself, Cloud's earlier remark had roused his curiosity. "What did you mean, 'I'll find out'?"

"I'll tell you, Angeal. But it's gonna take time and I doubt you'll be able to do any more work afterwards. I just thought you'd wanna finish first."

"I see. But there's nothing here that can't wait until tomorrow and you've raised my curiosity. Now tell me what it is?"

Cloud nodded and opened his mouth to give Angeal the edited version of what had happened during his mako injections.

"Please don't interrupt until I'm finished, this is gonna be weird enough as it is. You remember that I said my mako injections were a bit more concentrated than they were supposed to?" Receiving a nod, Cloud continued. "There was a reason for that. Not from Hojo!" He hurriedly said, recognising the anger his words were provoking. "The Planet, it... sent me a mission through her life blood, it... I know this sounds crazy, but I was sent a vision of the future. Or a possible future." Sounded insane, yes, but not quite as insane as claiming to have lived through all these events would.

"In this... vision, Lieutenant General Genesis Rhapsodos defected from ShinRa, from SOLDIER, because of some terminal illness and madness, I think, caused by what made him a SOLDIER in the first place. A few months later, you followed. I'm really not sure of the details, but feeling guilty or dishonoured you somehow, eventually, cornered Zack and forced him to end your life." The abrupt paling of Angeal's features, Cloud thought, spoke well for the First. "I don't suppose I'll have to tell you what that did, will do, to Zack." He sent a sudden cold glare towards the commander, ensuring that he understood how very serious Cloud really was. "And I suppose you'll understand that I'll do anything, anything at all, to avoid that it'll happen." _Including killing you myself_, was left unsaid, but hung almost tangible in the air between them.

"A year or so later General Sephiroth goes on a mission to what turns out to be where he was born. He learns of the experiments surrounding his birth and consequently loses his mind and without either one of you nearby, there's no one close enough to him to pull him back." If it had even been possible with Jenova's influence hanging over the general's head. "He starts hating... everything and will cause a cataclysm, big enough to destroy the planet entirely."

He stopped, staring earnestly into Angeal's eyes. What he had told was the bare bones of course. If Angeal chose to go to Sephiroth or Genesis with any of this, the result could be that the whole process was simply sped up. In truth Cloud wasn't entirely sure whether he preferred Angeal believing him or not, but Cloud had never been one to plan things. Situations had always just fallen into his lap to be fought. He had never had the _time_ to plan anything beyond "kick its ass" and he had never needed to, but unless he wanted to risk everyone who had ever even _talked_ with him (and knowing Shinra like he did, he had no doubt that that was exactly what he was risking), he needed to do this entire thing... covertly.

Maybe he had had better luck going to the Turks, except for the fact that the Turks were ShinRa's lapdogs and wouldn't care whatsoever if the world burned as long as President Shinra (and perhaps Rufus) were safe.

The sound of a deep sigh dragged Cloud out of his musings and he focused once more on the man before him. "I hope you realise that I cannot, in good conscience, take this at face value?"

"No, of course not, but can you afford to dismiss it? You're friends with both General Sephiroth and Rhapsodos. Can you afford the risk that they'll both go mad and take the world down with them?"

"What are you suggesting that I do, then?"

"Help me look. We need proof either for or against the possibility and we need, above all else, to keep it from those two involved. If there's the slightest possibility that the knowing alone will send them over the edge, it's not a risk I... we... can afford to take." He was really, really going to have to get used to speaking with Angeal as his superior again. The memory of people doing what he told them just because he told them was too clear. He had to remember how it had been to be a cadet again.

Angeal's amused smirk told him that the First had caught his slip. "So... proof first. That sounds reasonable enough. I suppose that's why you went to me?"

"Yeah. I'm almost certain the whole thing, the last mission of Sephiroth's at least, was, will be a set up by the Science Research Department. That means Hojo. If Hojo's behind any of it..."

"Then we're gonna have to do something about him, which means basically going against the company. You realize what will happen if anyone finds out?"

"Why do you think I made sure not to involve Zack? If we're found out... they'll likely give us to Hojo. We'll be his... test specimens. " He sneered, forcing the last words out as though they were something repulsive.

Angeal raised his eyebrow at that. "I would have said that we'd be executed without even the shadow of a trial. But of course, they might give our remains to Hojo."

His reply made Cloud's eyes widen slightly before a wry smirk crossed his face. It was weird, thinking that _Angeal_ was the more naïve of the two of them. Even if he thought of himself as twenty-seven, that still made Angeal three years his senior. Maybe that was a little sad, too, but of course, Angeal didn't know the depth to which ShinRa's corruption reached. Hadn't experienced it on his own body, periodically the executioner.

"In any case, that doesn't change the fact that if you're right, I will help you, but..."

"But you still don't really believe in any of this, which's nothing more than I could expect." He sighed, running a hand through his spikes, thinking. "I'm not really an expert hacker, but... Your computer is linked with the mainframe, right? I should be able to get deep enough for some kind of proof, at least." Shelke had tried teaching him, and although she had declared him hopeless and despairingly lacking in subtlety, he felt comf... He cursed, silently lest Angeal thought there was something more wrong than what he had already told him. And there was. Only, Deepground, which he had all but forgotten even existed, had always seemed like Vincent's territory. And it wasn't like he didn't _want_ to save Shelke before the experiments on her made her permanently stuck in the body of a nine-year-old, but... somehow, it seemed like an invasion of privacy. Shelke had always been _Vincent's_ in a weird way, because of her connection to Lucrecia Crescent, and even though the girl-woman had stayed in 7th Heaven for a while, that hadn't changed the fact that meeting her, knowing her, had healed something previously broken in the silent man, beyond even what losing Chaos had done.

Cloud sighed. That was something he was going to have to think about (great, more thinking) later. Right now, Angeal was giving him access to ShinRa's main server through his own computer, and while the First stood attentively behind him, making sure Cloud didn't do anything beyond what he had promised, that was still preferable to having been thrown out on his ass. It was obvious that while Angeal did doubt him, he knew that he couldn't afford to dismiss him if he was wrong.

It was weird how easy it was to hack into the main frame, beyond Angeals clearances. Shelke certainly hadn't been put to use yet or he would maybe barely have been able to do this, considering that the computers were from a previous decade. They had been even more sophisticated when Shelke had tried teaching. More sophisticated and with a firewall made by Shelke herself.

"You seem to know what you're looking for," Angeal commented.

"I do." Cloud tapped his temple for emphasis before he continued. "The Jenova Project, what gave birth to Sephiroth. Sephiroth's mother was named Lucrecia Crescent, a scientist. I'm not sure how, and frankly I prefer not to think about it, but she became pregnant with Hojo's child and agreed to subject the fetus to an injection of Jenova cells. When Sehiroth was born, he was taken from Dr. Crescent immediately. She never got to even hold him and died shortly after from the infection of Jenova cells."

"How... do you know this?" Surely all that had to be... impossible to know.

"Because I'm supposed to put him down when he goes mad. No," he interjected before Angeal could ask. "I know nothing of Genesis. Genesis isn't as big a threat as Sephiroth, and the Planet doesn't, can't care for individuals. My guess, though, is that you and Genesis was more or less born or created in the same way, which is what I'm looking for now."

"I... see. What... what _is_ Jenova, then?"

"She... at the time of the Jenova project, the scientists still thought she was an Ancient, a Cetra they had excavated and who had been lying dormant for thousands of years. She's not, though. She's an alien life form, travelling the cosmos with the sole purpose of destruction. She was the one who all but wiped out the Cetran race. She works as a two-way conduit, able to adopt the traits of her prey, but she can also map her own traits onto it." He hesitated then, wondering if the last bit of information was appropriate, but considering how much he had already told, the last bit couldn't make it any worse. "All SOLDIERs are injected with Jenova cells as well as mako. It helps our body to cope with the mako, among other things, but... it also makes us susceptible to control, both in general and by Jenova herself."

"And... is this something you can prove as well?"

"Uh, I might."

"Because if you can, we will at least have all the SOLDIERs on our side."

Angeal's comment made Cloud grin, both because it was all but a straight out admission from Angeal that he trusted him and because it was the truth. And if they had all the SOLDIERs on their side ShinRa didn't stand a chance. But that was only if they could prove it, and that Cloud somewhat doubted. Right this second, he would only have to find files that proved the existence of the Jenova Project and possibly that Sephiroth, Angeal, and Genesis had all played major, if ignorant, roles in it.

- - -

Being Hojo's favourite past time, you would think, made it easier to see the man and get him to speak with you. But of course, the rule that made it possible, even probable, for the pest to disturb the general at all hours of the day (and night) did not count when it was the general seeking out the scientist.

Of course, Sephiroth mused annoyed, he could have complained about some "undue ache" and the madman would have been all over him in seconds, poking and prodding and taking samples and strapping him down "just as a precaution" in case the tissue samples upset him unduly or other such nonsense.

Which was why he had not complained about anything hurting and instead had tried the long tedious process it was to access the man through normal means. Or rather, tried to access the man once it had become apparent that Dr. Swendsson had 'mysteriously disappeared' and therefore was unable to answer his questions concerning Strife.

Which boded even worse for Strife than for Swendsson, really.

Since Swendsson had answered Strife's question, disappearing like this could mean two things; Hojo had not meant for Strife to know of any anomalies or Hojo had not known there _were_ any anomalies and had therefore not guarded whatever test result closely enough before his assistant had seen them. In both cases, it meant that the anomaly was interesting enough for Hojo to keep it a secret.

No, it didn't bode well for Strife at all and Strife had better be grateful for what he was about to do.

As the sliding door swished open with the hiss of compressed air being released and Hojo stepped out, Sephiroth all but stalked over to the little pest, booted feet panther light on the carpeted floor.

"I will not have you take Strife for your experiments, Hojo," he said, tone just on the snarling side of firm.

"There's no need to take that tone with me, boy," Hojo replied dismissively, although the way he pushed his glasses up his nose revealed his agitation. "And there's no reason for you to concern yourself with Strife, we'll offer him an excellent bonus for agreeing to let us run a few tests."

Sephiroth stared, couldn't help himself as Hojo pressed his glasses up a second time. Did he really think anyone would fall for that? Okay, it was true, maybe a naïve fourteen-year-old would believe that it would just be a few tests, probably some blood work and tissue samples and that would be it. But Hojo wasn't speaking with a naïve, fourteen years old boy, he was speaking with a long since disillusioned, thirty years old general and General Sephiroth was very much aware what 'a few tests' entailed.

Finally, Hojo realised that his star specimen wasn't going to let it go. "Anyway, it's not like you have any say in the matter. There really is no need for you to concern yourself with him."

"Strife is the single most promising candidate to have ever entered the SOLDIER program. He will be a strong SOLDIER, beyond what almost anyone else is able to. I doubt President Shinra will allow such a valuable asset to become nothing more than a specimen for you to experiment to death."

The first flash of real emotion flashed over Hojo's face. He had not expected the boy to be anything but a normally talented candidate, easily replaced, but if the runt really was talented enough that Sephiroth, his normally unemotional experiment, was willing to argue like this on his behalf, then the president might very well actually listen to his general. That was the trouble with turning lose an experiment; they tended to suddenly and unexpectedly start thinking for themselves and making a mess of it.

"The boy would be an excellent study on how to make SOLDIERs accept more mako than we've previously established as a safe dose," he tried arguing, finally trying to reason with the general. "We could improve the SOLDIER program to make everyone invincible!"

The argument, however, fell to the ground. "That's hardly necessary. We're already far superior to any other fighter. Besides, the only threat we're facing now is Wutai and it's only a question of time before we conquer their land. But I won't be unreasonable," he added, suddenly remembering something Angeal had mentioned once. "If you can get Strife to sign a contract that allows you to experiment on him, I won't stop you as long as I still have access to him and you don't break that contract." He barely held back a smirk. If Strife really did have latrophobia, and there was no reason to doubt Angeal on that, then there was no way the kid would allow Hojo more than perhaps some tissue samples and a few vials of blood.

Hojo seemed to realise the same, as he frowned, not even trying to hide it this time.

"In any case," the taller of the two continued, "discussing Strife's future career possibilities wasn't the reason I came here. I heard from Strife that the concentration of mako in his injections was higher than what is normally given to clean individuals. I want to know how it could happen and I want to know exactly how high the concentration was." All traces of his previous amusement, faint as they had been, was gone now, replaced with the tone Sephiroth usually reserved for giving orders. Firm and sure of his own power. The tone he only used with Hojo when he wanted no arguments whatsoever.

The scientist, in spite of the numerous failings that characterized him, recognized the tone and the significance. Sephiroth would not leave him to his experiments until he had his answers, which was really a shame.

"How it happened... I can only guess, as the fool in charge of diluting the injections insisted that she made no mistakes in the process. I fired her, of course, but she filled out the forms correctly and the tests she seems to have done implies nothing of what happened. As for the level of mako in Strife's blood..." he almost grimaced, would have if he hadn't been standing in front of anyone. As it was the tightening around his mouth and eyes was more than enough for Sephiroth to detect. "The initial test showed a score of between 27% and 34%."

"Thats... impossible!"

"At the very least highly improbable." The white-coated man took obvious pleasure in the silver-haired general's shock at his news. Truly shocking the impassive man was something he normally had to work on and being able to do so had been part of the reason he had told him in the first place.

"I would like, for one, to have a second test to measure the exact level, but you see why I believe he could be of use? Surviving levels of that height in and of itself makes Strife an individual worthy of further study, but the fact that he retained both sanity and mobility as well..."

"I see." Yes, that would indeed make Strife a prime candidate for experimentation. "The subject, however, is not up for debate. I'll get Strife to agree to that additional test, though, as long as I am present and I _will_ know the exact result you reach."

Without giving the scientist the chance to reply, and feeling exceptionally self-satisfied with the clean victory, Sephiroth left. Certainly, Hojo would try to avenge this insult to his dignity, as though Sephiroth were supposed to eternally treat the man with gratitude for the things he had done, for all those years of loneliness and pain, as though his power in any way made up for that, but Hojo's indignation could wait. It wasn't like the pest could think of anything new to do, anything he had not already done.

Instead, the general was mulling over the information he had just been given.

The fact that the Strife kid had survived getting shot with that amount of mako wasn't just a miracle. It was an impossibility.

Newly initiated SOLDIERs got diluted shots of mako and ended up with three to five percent of mako in their blood depending on their body type and how well they took to the foreign substance. When raised to Second another round of shots were administered, the exact amount depending on how well they received those first shots, and the process was repeated when, if, the SOLDIER made it into the First Class. As a result, the Firsts, except for himself, Angeal and Genesis, had a concentration of mako between fifteen and twenty percent. At most.

Angeal and Genesis both had concentrations of between twenty-five and thirty percent and he, himself, was at thirty-two percent. Strife had survived what it had taken the three strongest SOLDIERs in history _years_ to accommodate.

But surviving wasn't the only impossibility. The sheer amount... that much mako. Not only would it have had to be undiluted, something which would scorch your veins, it would have had to be _concentrated_. And highly concentrated at that, which would have, should have, made it impossible to squeeze it into the boy's veins in the first place.

No wonder Hojo had been desperate enough to get to the boy to actually try to reason with him.

Which only made it all the more imperative that he make sure the madman never got his hands on Strife.

- - -

In the meantime, Cloud was debating whether he should just leave and come back another day, once Angeal had had time to digest the information he had found. Not enough to prove anything at all, really. Just enough to prove the existence of the Jenova Project and the three initial test specimens, but considering everything he had told Angeal first... he really shouldn't have been surprised at Angeal's reaction when they had it black on white that the First had been born with alien genes infesting his body.

But he really didn't want to stay, waiting for Angeal to stop being sick in the adjoining bathroom.

Quickly, he memorized the file before closing down everything and erasing any trace that Angeal's computer had been anywhere it wasn't supposed to be before writing a probably less-than-consoling note and slipping out.


	16. Chapter 15

Soooo sorry it took me so long. I ran into a wall :(

* * *

Zack tracked him down three minutes later, five new SOLDIERs in tow like a row of ducklings, looking awkward and uncomfortable, and judging by the mischievous glint in Zack's eyes he was doing his best to encourage it. Cloud almost felt sorry for them.

Until Zack directed that look his way, then he was too busy looking for an escape to feel sorry for anyone.

"Hi, Cloudy! Just the guy I was looking for." His grin turned up an extra notch making the blond certain that whatever was about to be suggested, he would want no part of it. "It's time to celebrate!"

"Uh, sorry Zack, I'm not feeling up to-..."

"Bullshit. You're not getting away from a little social interaction, especially not when it involves indigestion of copious amounts of booze. Have you seen Angeal? I wanna invite him too."

"Uh." Well, since he was just coming from his office, lying just seemed ridiculous. About that at least. "Yeah, actually, but he was buried in paperwork, I don't think he'd agree."

"Aw, man! Angeal's the shiz when you finally get him drunk, though! It'd've been awesome. Oh, well. C'mon, Spiky, we've already warned the bar that SOLDIERs will be arriving. They should've stocked up enough to get even our kind drunk." His smile turned dreamy. Obviously he had started early. Great. And here Cloud had been hoping for some time alone to plan. Or think about what needed planning. Everything was just so much more complicated when you were actually planning a fight; information may have been power, but fighting with information was a lot more intricate. Was there no way to make this simply a one-on-one fight? Just him and President Shinra? Or Hojo for that sake, he could work with that and would be so much simpler. And a guaranteed win besides.

Holding up his hands in defence, Cloud began backtracking. "I really don't think that's a good idea." He had gotten drunk. Once. With Tifa. Repeating that embarrassment while in Zack's company was really not on his to-do list, especially not when in this mood. "Besides I'm under age," technically, "and, uh, I think..."

"Bosh and fiddlesticks!" The, to put it mildly, weird exclamation made Cloud halt just long enough for Zack to grab a hold of him and begin dragging him down the hall. "You're a SOLDIER. SOLDIERs aren't under age, ever. We just don't _do_ under age, yanno? We're the Guardians of Peace, Protectors of Children! ...That's not something we can do if we're under age."

Still struggling, but probably not as hard as he should, Cloud replied easily. "We're also the face of the ShinRa Private Enforcing Unit. Shouldn't we, you know, make good examples?"

"Bah. SOLDIERs get drunk rarely enough that we're still all goody. Besides, if we never indulged we'd go mad."

"...I guess." No. This was where he rally should have put his foot down and refused to go. He really should have. But when had he ever been able to? When had he ever been able to just say no and stand by it? Never, it seemed, as he remembered countless times when he had been talked into something or other against his better judgement. Or worse judgement, in some cases, but even so, surely he should be able to 'just say no'.

"Hey, hey, Strife!" Curly called from the back. "We heard all sortsa rumours about you. Is it true you beat, uh..." It seemed like Curly had just then remember that the SOLDIER Cloud had supposedly beaten was the one leading them. Zack sent the thoughtless Third a smile with more teeth than anything else. Curly took a step back.

Feeling distinctly uncomfortable, Cloud cast an apologetic look at Zack, who simply raised an eyebrow and grinned again. "Don't worry about it, Curly, my good man. I've been training with Cloud all fall; if he couldn't beat me now he's got mako, I'd have been worried," he said, catching the brunet in a headlock. "But that doesn't mean it's okay to just shout it out, you hear? I've got my pride too. And ways to get my revenge you can only dream of!" And he promptly began digging his knuckles into Curly's curls, making the other squirm to get free.

Cloud observed this, trying to figure out if the Zack from his... other memories had been so childish, but the time between signing up for ShinRa and getting away from Hojo's experiments had always been hazy, like trying to see something through binoculars that weren't quite focused.

He reminded himself that this Zack had not gone through the same shit. _And he'll never have to_, the blond reassured himself.

The walk to the bar was fairly uneventful, Zack had the rest engaged in a game of Rate the Dames (a name he had undoubtedly figured out himself) while Cloud distanced himself just a bit, not willing to play along.

"That one, over there, ten plus," Zack pointed out and gave the lady in question a wink. The others agreed trying, and failing, at subtly running their eyes over her generous curves. Cloud just snorted and very deliberately did not think of Tifa.

"'S good ta look at, sure, but I thin' I like 'em a li'l smaller, you know? Curves like that comes with an ego to match. Too high maintenance fer me," Abbing interjected and got a considering nod back.

"Oi, we're SOLDIERs now, Big-A, we can get whoever the hell we want!" Abbing rolled his eyes at the nickname. The SOLDIER who had spoken up had been on the other team during their initiation mission. He was brown-haired, so dark it was just shy of black. It fell far short of the blueish sheen Zack's own spikes carried, but with his shoulders and trim waist, not to mention those eyes, Cloud figured he could have been called almost as handsome if not for a nose protruding from the centre of his face like a particularly distracting, skinny mushroom.

"Psh, don't be ridiculous," the black-haired Second denied. "Women look at a SOLDIER, they'll compare him with Sephiroth. And very few compare with him, yanno? Him and his freak-eyelashes."

"Eyelashes?"

"Yeah, haven't you seen? They're like... an inch long! I swear, he's gotta figure out a way to trim 'em, yanno? Bet it's 'cause he's got so much mako; they don't get worn in the end or shed like the rest of us, they just keep growing! And growing, and growing and growing! Think about when he's a hundred years old and his eyelashes reach his cheek or his collar bone or stomach or some insan shit like that!" He flailed to emphasize his point. Cloud thought about it (even if it was ridiculous) and supposed there was some merit in it. His own hair had never had split ends, not after the experimentation, and it had been growing quite fast, no reason the same shouldn't work on eyelashes, even if Zack's picture was improbable at best. No way would a fighter allow his vision to be impaired like that.

The casualness changed when they arrived the bar.

Raucous laughter, glass clinking and a musical drone sounded all the way out onto the street, even when the door was closed. Obviously a great deal of SOLDIERs had already arrived at the party and hadn't waited for the guests of honour. Without hesitating Zack strode there and threw the doors open. He was welcomed by an enthusiastic increase in sound before the mass inside engulfed him.

Cloud shot a look at the other new SOLDIERs, finding them looking just about as terrified as he felt. Whatever that was in there, it seemed more like one organism, a living, breathing _thing_ with no real consciousness just swallowing whatever hapless individual entering through that door. Feeling responsible for the younger (_can I really think of them as younger?_) boys, Cloud took a deep breath and marched up to the entrance. Abbing, Cron and Curly followed, clearly already taking cues from him, prompting the last five to follow suit.

The bar reeked of alcohol, sweat, and a vile mix of several women's perfumes underlaid with an unappetizing odour of old puke and piss coming from the bathrooms in the back. _Lovely_, Cloud thought, wrinkling his nose, barely even noticing that he was being whisked further into the bar, the shock of sound and smell making him disorientated. Luckily, enhanced senses also came with enhanced resistance or the entire batch of new initiates would likely as not have fainted as soon as they stepped inside.

Remembering his comrades, Cloud looked around and noticed for the first time that he had somehow been singled out and separated from them. That could not be good.

An hour later and he was certain that it was not good, and after two hours he had forgotten why that was.

Every single SOLDIER, it seemed, wanted a word with him and every time they dragged him from whoever had been talking with him, they thought they'd cement their new 'friendship' with the 'genius' with a shot or two. And SOLDIERs did not take no for an answer.

Now mako may make him somewhat resistant to most poisons, and that included alcohol, but having shots forced down his throat every five minutes would get even him drunk. And he was absolutely _sloshed_.

"Make... make a mental'ote," he slurred to the smirking SOLDIER, who were the last to have cornered him. "Note," he enunciated carefully. "When'sh, 'at yo're fightin' dragonsh, 'se legsh a' prallitachilly ampi..imper.. very hard. 'Se shtomach yo' gotta hit, 'se shtomach!" He emphasized his point by jabbing a finger at the guys solar plexus and glaring up through his bangs. The effect, however, was somewhat spoiled by the fact that he wasn't entirely able to focus, his eyes crossing the slightest bit. "Gotta pish," he announced and left the highly amused SOLDIER. Surely the guy had introduced himself at some point, but like everyone else, he had forgotten it amidst the multitude of other names and the booze he had been forced to down.

On his way to the toilets he spotted the other initiates, huddled in smaller groups. Traitors. Leaving him to deal with all the SOLDIERs all alone when he'd really like nothing better than be alone. So he could think. Or something. Where was Tifa anyway? She wasn't at the bar, maybe she... oh, that was right. Tifa didn't exist. Except she did. But she wasn't Tifa, not really, because he had to save Zack.

He blinked, wondering if his thoughts were so confusing because he was drunk or if he was confused by his thoughts because he was drunk. Or if anything he thought made any sense at all. Ever. Maybe it didn't and that was why he was always thinking. Or brooding as Tifa called it. Except the Tifa that called it brooding didn't exist and instead there was a smaller Tifa who called him her bestest friend but now he had a better bestest friend called Zack, who would never let anyone else tell him who he could be friends with.

Hadn't he already thought this before?

And what guy took this long to take a leak anyway? He had been waiting for far too long and in a moment another SOLDIER was gonna corner him and force another (no longer) vile drink down his throat and he would _never_ be able to get a break long enough for his metabolism to process at least _some_ of the alcohol in his system and then maybe the world would make sense.

Finally the door opened and out traipsed some tiny blonde girl in a miniskirt and a top in some shimmery material. She didn't even have the decency to look guilty over having used the men's room, just shot him a coquettish smile and a wink before sashaying back out into the crowded bar.

Cloud shook his head and entered the toilet, not noticing the sudden hush behind him.

A young man stood in the door, casually leaning against the frame and letting the cold night air waft in past him. He wasn't invited, he knew, not that it was a private party as such but Turks and SOLDIERs generally kept apart and even if he kept it casual, there was no way top-trained military elites such as these could confuse him with an office drone. He knew the way he moved betrayed his skill in close combat, the same way the SOLDIERs could not possibly disguise themselves as anything but highly lethal. Not even if you removed the mako glow.

Ignoring the temptation to flip the bird in the SOLDIERs general direction the Turk strode towards the bar, raising his hand to flag down one of the voluptuous barmaids. It pleased him that even with the bar full of SOLDIERs, he still got instant service. Perk of being a Turk.

The beer was cold and sizzled as it slid down his throat; not the best of its kind, but decent enough at that, he mused, staring into the now half-empty pint and ignoring the SOLDIER who sat down next to him.

"Yo," he quipped, as though he, too, were oblivious to the undercurrent of enmity surrounding him. The SOLDIER eyed him shrewdly for just a moment before throwing a nod at the waitress, who instantly came over. The SOLDIER, leaning over the bar and with a hand light on her shoulder, said something into her ear which made her giggle and throw him a coy smile before she went and retrieved a bottle of hard liquor and two shot glasses.

"Yo, yourself," the SOLDIER finally answered, turning on the stool. He was nothing but a large boy, the Turk thought. Features still smooth and still carrying a little baby fat on his cheeks, black hair spiked with a few locks hanging down into his eyes. Well, that pretty face answered the question of why he got service as fast as a Turk; the kid's ma probably had as little resistance to those luminous eyes as the girls behind the bar did. "I bet," the kid continued, oblivious or ignoring the Turk's close scrutiny, "I bet that I can out-drink you. All those rumours 'bout Turks? They're bullshit. No way a Turk has enough resistance to drink a SOLDIER under the table." The SOLDIER was slurring a little bit, not enough that someone who was also tipsy would notice, but someone who was stone cold sober would without a doubt. And maybe he wasn't exactly Cissnei, who could drink a dragon down, but he wasn't a weak drinker either and sure the rumours might be a little exaggerated but this kid was already tipsy at the very least and he knew a few tricks.

Besides, the idiot had hurt his pride as a Turk

"You're on."

Grinning, the young SOLDIER poured into the two shot glasses, before picking one up and without so much as a 'cheers' downed the liquid.

Lifting his own glass, the Turk was halted by a sudden shout from behind. Who, in this gathering knew his name?

A rather petite blond made his way towards them through the crowd, or maybe he just looked petite because everyone around him was either tall or burly or both. And because he was so young, the redhead noted, when he got close. Younger, even, than the muscular teen he was drinking with. Which could only mean he was the new little prodigy everyone was talking about. Cloud Strife. Well, well, well. There was jailbait, he supposed, and then there was _jailbait_.

Why would Cloud Strife know his name? Maybe he had heard it wrong. He didn't have SOLDIER hearing and the bar was rather loud, but the reaction to the shout had been instinctive.

His new SOLDIER buddy had turned as well and was waving the blond over, although the kid, the _more_ kid of the two, was already coming over anyway.

"Hey, buddy!" the black-haired SOLDIER greeted, clapping the other on his shoulder with an enthusiastic smile. You'd think the blond would have fallen over from the force, he really didn't seem like SOLDIER material, but the stumble seemed more induced by liquor than anything else. "Came over ter drink with us? Thissis my new buddy, uh... I didn't get your name, Turk, I'm Zack, by the way." The hand was removed from blondie's shoulder and extended forward.

"Name's Reno, yo," he replied and took the hand with some trepidation. So his suspicion that he was sitting with Zack the Puppy was correct. Great. The guy wasn't exactly known for his great restraint. Then again, he wasn't known for being violent either, just... excitable. And brilliant with a sword. So the fact that the two prodigies had teamed up was true as well, even though Strife, according to the latest batch of rumours, was better. Good to know that Fair wasn't the jealous type.

He did have restraint too, Reno noticed, as his hand wasn't crushed in the handshake. It was firm and slightly sticky from sweat, but not crushing and not limb. He had always hated those limb handshakes some of the office workers gave whenever he was forced to work with them. They always thought that carrying favour with a Turk would help them (and it sure as fuck was more conductive to continued living than _not_ carrying favour with a Turk) but they all seemed like they'd rather not touch him at all, as though they suspected he might not wash his hands after he took a dump.

"Nice ter meet you and all that. Thissis Cloud, mind if he joins?"

"'M not drink'n wishyu," the blond slurred, blinking like he couldn't quite focus on Reno's face. "Ev'ron here wanna drin' wish me, an' I had 'nuff." Which was rather obvious, Reno thought, amused, considering that even aside from the slurred speech, just then, with no discernible cause, the kid pitched forward, face colliding with the Turk's chest before he caught himself on the bar or Reno caught him, whichever came first.

"Easy there, kiddo."

"'M notta kid." He hoisted himself back up, trying for and failing at an intimidating stare. "You're more kid th'n I am. Can' be more'n twen'y. Reno." He said the name like he was testing it or tasting it. Or making fun of him.

"Uh, Spike? You're fourteen or did you forget?"

The blond blinked, like he was confused. "Oh, righ'. I am." He sat down on the chair next to Zack, leaning slightly on the other teens back while the Second Class turned to Reno, violet eyes shining with amusement.

"You still haven't downed that shot, Red," he pointed out, tapping a finger on the counter. Cloud seemed to have almost fallen asleep already against his back, but the older teen seemed not to mind the close contact, hunching forward a little.

Either the two had a really close relationship, were lovers in secret (or not so secret?)o r they just had a weird idea of what constituted as normal physical contact. Maybe a combination.

Reno threw down his shot and promptly got a new one. Zack had already filled his own again and they threw down the second without exchanging another word.

"So," the SOLDIER asked then, shifting a bit to avoid his friend's until then impending slide to the floor. "What'sa Turk doin' at a SOLDIER party? Pickin' up gossip?" The tone was playful but the was a glint in the young man's eyes that warned Reno that he better have a better reason than spying. Of course, Turks were always spying, it was practically on their contract to know everything there was to know going on. Interesting or not, relevant or not, the Turks knew it.

"Naw," he replied with a certain nonchalant air he knew would either piss the SOLDIER off or make them best friends forever when he finished the sentence. Sorta. Maybe not. Not if the comfortable way Cloud Strife was leaning against him meant anything, but it was close enough. "If I meant to pick up anythin', I wouldn't of agreed to drink against a SOLDIER, ya get me?"

Fair snorted and sent him a look that Reno would have called flirtatious except that every rumour there had ever been about Fair pecked him as straight. If you discarded the rumours that Strife had whored himself to recognition, and they certainly _were_ familiar enough with each other for something like that to have happened except that if it really _had_ happened it was much more likely they'd try to avoid that kind of intimacy in public.

Clearly the whatever-they-were-drinking was kicking in.

When the redhead next tried to grab his glass he just missed and caused the clear liquid to spill down the counter and onto the already sticky floor. Good thing he wasn't the one who was supposed to clean up after this.

"Sorry," he apologized and let his voice slur a little. "Can I have another? What are we drinkin' anyway?"

Pouring again, Zack smirked. "Mother's Love," he replied, the smug bastard. Well, shit, no wonder he was already feeling it.

Leaning against Zack's back, Cloud was not so much sleeping (that would just be too awkward and besides the bar was _loud)_ as he was waiting for the toxins to get washed out of his system so he could think straight again. Zack's back was warm and steady, the SOLDIER expertly avoided sudden movements that could dislodge him as though they did this all the time.

He was Zack's friend, he mused, maybe he should warn him that Reno cheated? Then again, Zack had been the one who got him to come here, _knowing_ what they did to the new guy. Guys, really, since they had been nine, it was just that Cloud was a much more well-known new guy, singled out after his bout with Zack and the Firsts apparent interest.

"Yanno, Zack?" He slurred, head lolling a little. He wondered faintly why it felt so familiar to lean against the other, but the thought was fleeting and disappeared as soon as he tried grasping for it.

"Yeah?" His back rest replied while pouring yet another shot. The pouring wasn't so difficult, but shooting down a shot without displacing his friend had proved rather tricky. It was funny though. He would never have pecked Cloud to get all touchy for any reason. Not even drunk.

"Uh..." Cloud continued, wondering what he had been about to say. "Your back'sh real comf'tabel." It had maybe not been what he had been about to say, but Zack didn't know that. Cloud didn't even know that himself. He giggled slightly at the thought but quickly stifled it when he realised what he was doing. "I'm real dwunk."

"You sure are," Zack replied, amused.

"What's you two love birds whispering 'bout?" Reno broke in, slamming the shot glass back onto the counter.

"Reno's cheating," Cloud replied, loud enough for a non-SOLDIER to hear it in the din.

"Am not!"

"'Sh too. Tha' shot 'tally went on th' floor. Splash!" He giggled again before bringing up a hand to silence himself. This was exactly why he abhorred getting really drunk; he got so silly and he giggled. _Giggled_! Men were just not supposed to giggle. Ever.

"Wha'?!" Indignation was all but coating Reno's tongue if you were to believe the look in his eyes. "How can ya say that? Ya weren't even facing this way, yo."

"Don' nee' to. Tha' shot 'u spilled b'fore 'sh to hide it."

"Ya can't be serious, man, blamin' me fer a li'l accident like that. Tha's jus' ridiculous."

Cloud giggled again. It was funny how Reno reversed to his roots when he got cornered. Still not as bad as he had probably been right when he got off the street, but recognisable if you were listening for it.

"Hey, Cloudy? Yanno, I can look after myself here."

"But you don't know Reno's tricks!"

"C'm'on, Cloud! Just because you know some tricks, and I'd like to know where _you_ know them from by the way, but it doesn't mean that Reno's copying them."

"Of courshe he ish! Ever'won kno's he goesh all shee.. all sh.. all shtreet shmart when's at he'sh lyin'."

"Right. Everyone knows that. Silly me." Zack cast look towards Reno, a mix between apologetic and amused. Reno shrugged in response and smirked, pretending like he didn't know exactly what the little twerp was talking about. But if 'everyone' knew it then that was really, really bad. Not that he was bad at lying, he usually didn't feel cornered enough to slip, but the mini-SOLDIER gave him the absolute _creeps_ even drunk and giggling as he was. "Sorry Reno," the big SOLDIER said as he stood and dragged his friend up with him. "I think Cloud's gotten a little too much, I should get him back to his bed before he falls asleep for real or another SOLDIER decides to pour more drinks down his throat."

"Sure, okay." He blinked, coming back from his stupor. Fuck, if he was slipping this much then it was probably for the best that the two were leaving. "You runnin' Fair? Too scared to drink with someone older'n you?"

"Psh, hardly, you can't be more'n a little older than me anyway. Seventeen?"

"I'm nineteen, you dumbfuck." But with no real heat behind the insult, only a stupid or suicidal man would rise to the bait.

"Yeah, right. Maybe another time, then."

Maybe he shouldn't have agreed to a drinking contest with Zack Fair, he was totally off his game; Mother's Love was notoriously SOLDIERs Only drink (capital and everything) and even SOLDIERs were careful with the stuff. Well, Fair hadn't been, but then, Fair hadn't known that Reno was cheating. The little spiky-haired bastard had though. Weird.

Outside, Zack was trying to prompt his friend to walk on his own, not even bothering to hold back his grin at Cloud's complete lack of grace. Taking pity, he put an arm under the other's, holding him up while they traipsed slowly back to headquarters.

"Yanno, Zack, 'u're my friendesht besht ever. I really don' want 'u to die, yanno? I don't wanna, wanna-."

"Hey, I'm right here, buddy, and I'm not gonna die, okay?"

"No. I'll make shure 'f it! I'll protect 'u thish time!"

"Uh, yeah. You do that, buddy." They walked on in silence, Zack wondering how the hell Cloud suddenly got such an idea and Cloud stumbling along besides him with the most horrible feeling of deja vu.

Angeal stared down at his hands; strong hands, broad, calloused from sword training even though he only used his hands more often than not. Hands he had used to kill and, on occasion, capture. Hands owned by ShinRa. And he had never before realised exactly how much.

With a furious yell, almost a scream, he buried the right one in the wall all the way up to his wrist. The white tile had splintered and a piece had almost hit him in the eye. Would have if he hadn't had SOLDIER reflexes. He suddenly felt sick again.

Well, ShinRa could just go fuck themselves! See if he was ever going to lift a finger of these hands for them ever again, see if he would fight in their thrice cursed war!

He got up from the floor of his bathroom and went back into his office to pace. Cloud had of course left. He could be somewhat grateful for the space that provided. And time. To think.

What was he supposed to do now? If he wasn't with ShinRa... there really weren't all that many other things he could do and... and Cloud needed his help and had admonished caution. With a sigh, the burly First sat down on his chair, comfortble, best you could buy for money, just like him, except Sephiroth was the best but the sentiment was exactly the same. With a sigh he let the tension drain. Throwing a temper tantrum like this wasn't him at all anyway, it was more up Genesis' alley. Oh, Planet, what was he going to tell Genesis and Sephiroth? How was he going to hide something like this? He was a horrible liar and besides they were both, especially the general, hyper aware the second someone was lying to them.

Right. He didn't have to lie. They suspected nothing, they would have no reason to ask for it and if they ever did he was just going to have to tell them because they were his friends and lying to your friends was just dishonourable. Not something he either could or would stomach.

That also meant that he definitely could not run; they would suspect something immediately and even if they didn't, they would be the ones ShinRa sent after him. There was no way the multi-million gil corporation would just let him go, would let any of them go. Valuable resources and all that.

It all meant he could only hope they would be able to hide it long enough.

Zack looked down at Cloud, snuggled up against his pillow. His friend had refused any sort of covering, despite his room being slightly cooler than at least what Zack preferred, but the kid was an oven in his own right so it would probably be fine.

He turned away and stretched his back. It hadn't taken long to hoist the new Third back to headquarters, especially as Cloud's haze cleared a little on the way. There would likely still be plenty of time to get back to the party if he wanted to, he _had_ been hoping to get laid and a voluptuous redhead _had_ been sending him eyes all night.

He spared another thought for Cloud's morbid declarations. It was nice to know that Cloud valued him of course, but he wished his friend hadn't mixed death in to it. When the rainy season in Wutai cleared and the war began anew there would be plenty of death. No reason why they should meet their troubles halfway.

* * *

**NB! Okay. So. Seriously. I need a new title for this fic, because right now, with the way it's progressing, the reason why I chose this title in the first place has become moot. A little help maybe?**


	17. Chapter 16

"Take me back" is henceforth renamed "Two Steps Back". Yay!

Also, my line-breaks for -all- the previous chapters has been removed. I... ahve no idea how or why.

* * *

Pacing, Cloud was quickly realizing, was an extremely uncomfortable affair when you were still suffering from a hangover. It wasn't that he hadn't wanted to sleep in on one of his last few days off until he had officially acclimatized himself with his new (unofficially impossible) enhancements, but waking early had become so ingrained, both in his life as a cadet and the life as... well, 'ex-fugitive' fit best, he supposed. Regardless of what he had been, he had to be practically unconscious to wake later than at sunrise when reveille was called.

Which spoke in favour of him actually still being lethargic on that day he had had the duel with Zack, he realized, and paused in his march. The SOLDIERs sitting in the lounge seemed to heave quiet sighs of relief, thinking he had finally stopped, but then he only started up again when he had absorbed the implications, earning himself a fresh array of glares. It was amazing what you could learn to ignore, though, and Cloud continued walking in circles around the lounge. He would have preferred to be somewhere more private, but his own room was too small (and made him feel slightly claustrophobic besides) to pace in and if he paced in any of the hallways, chances was he would get in the way of someone.

It wasn't like Cloud wasn't still feeling the after-effects of the copious amount of alcohol he had been more or less forced to consume, it was just that the hangover couldn't distract him from what was really bothering him.

How could he have been so stupid? Planet, of course the reason he had gone to Angeal in the first place was to avoid making mistakes, but he had just been to focused on not doing nothing that he had just barged right into it like a bomb into a tea party.

That was always what happened when he tried doing something beyond 'charge and fight'; he got some kinda idea in his head and it wasn't until someone pointed it out to him or it was too late that he realised how stupid the idea had been in the first place. Life, how could he have been so moronic as to just go to Angeal like that? He should have gotten the proof first, then gone to Angeal. Or better yet, not gone to anyone at all. Instead he had just been too afraid to fall back into the trap he had found himself in when the geostigma had plagued the world, when he had been too afraid of his own helplessness to do anything.

At least Angeal had given him the time to prove his insane claims instead of just rejecting them outright. He had been so lucky that his behaviour had confused Angeal long enough to give him that window, but now that he had had time to think Angeal could very well be going straight to his two friends to warn them or.. or something. It didn't matter. At least Sephiroth's personal information would most likely still be safe in Nibelheim and he had at least been cautious enough not to reveal where it was.

Right. That was what he should be now. Cautious. Caution was the way to go. He would just have to learn not to panic over every little thing and it was so much easier not to panic when people you loved, people he had let die before, wasn't depending on him to succeed.

Then again, hadn't Abbing, Kron and Curly been depending on him to lead them back to Midgar? No, not really. Omdahl and Jaeger had been his security net; there to make sure that even if he failed, they would still make it. There was no security for this; it was either do or die. So for now at least, he would have to err on the side of caution. He had time yet. _They_ had time yet. There was no reason for him to risk it all because he-..

His thought process was abruptly interrupted when someone grabbed his collar from behind and attempted to drag him down into a chair. Attempted, only, because the second Cloud perceived that he was caught he automatically twisted and reached for First Tsurugi but since he only had the standard issue broadsword strapped to his back, what would have been an elegant disarming of his opponent ended with his own rather undignified sprawl on the floor and Zack staring down at him.

"And what was that supposed to be, Cloudy?" The Second Class asked, his eyes alight with what could only be perceived as amusement at Cloud's rather embarrassing predicament.

"Uh..."

"You know, for a combat genius, that must've been really fucking embarrassing," Zack continued with a certain amount of glee that Cloud would have perceived as spiteful in anyone but Zack. When Zack held down a hand for him, regardless of spite or not, he curled up on his shoulders and placed his feet against Zack's chest.

Zack went sailing over his head, landing on his back with a loud exclamation of breath and Cloud sitting securely on his stomach. "Now, who's 'really fucking embarrassed'?"

"Still you," the prone SOLDIER answered, laughing. "Life, I swear you just got even faster than you were day before yesterday. That's just unfair and leaves me with no reason to feel the least bit embarrassed."

"Except that you've just been bested by a Third Class. For the second time."

"You may have a point there, except that I have a sneaking suspicion it'll take a First Class to beat you, and I am yet only a very humble Second. I'll wait to get embarrassed until I hear about anything less than a First Class besting you."

Well, that was probably safe enough, but even so. "Aren't you a little bit over-confident in my abilities?"

"Of course not. Mind letting me up, now? I think we're attracting stares and besides, Angeal's waiting for me."

Cloud grudgingly got up and cautiously gave Zack a hand up too, not wishing to be thrown the way he himself had just thrown Zack. The boisterous teen simply smiled in a way that told Cloud in no uncertain terms that payback was due, but that it would wait until Cloud was not on his guard.

"Anyway, I was just walking by and you seemed to be thinking too deeply," the raven-haired SOLDIER said. "Good morning!" And then he was off, all but skipping on his way to meet Angeal.

"Ah, Za-..." Shutting up before he got Zack's attention again Cloud scowled in the direction he had disappeared in. And what was he going to say anyway? 'Sorry, but if Angeal's acting weird, it may be my fault'? Or how about 'give my condolences for his humanity'? Yeah. Not. He would just pretend like nothing had ever happened and hope that even if Zack noticed something was off, he would respect his mentor enough to keep from asking too many questions.

With his eyes fixed in the direction his friend had disappeared to, Cloud didn't notice how the other SOLDIERs in the room stiffened until an itch told him that he was being watched like a hawk. Turning slowly, this time intensely aware that his sword was strapped over his shoulder and not in a complicated harness on his back, Cloud squared his shoulders to meet whomever had decided to confront him. The attention didn't feel hostile as such, but he would be able to draw the sword faster than anyone would be able to jump him, if, when, he turned and found an enemy waiting.

When he got a look at his observer, Cloud almost did reach for the sword, he knew that his hand had twitched and that the general had seen it, but there was not really anything he could do about it. Any protest that he hadn't intended to react like the general was an enemy would only be acknowledging that it had happened and there wasn't really anything else he could do.

"Strife." Sephiroth's voice was low and carried a definite air of bemusement and reproach, but was mostly neutral. In fact, Cloud doubted that anyone but himself had caught the two emotions colouring the one word. He had only caught them because the second he had become aware that the Nightmare General was focused on him, his awareness and tension had gone through the roof.

"S-sir!" He answered with a salute, clumsy and belated but hoping that it could be excused, since he was quite sure that Sephiroth had never made it a point to socialize with his troops.

"At ease, SOLDIER." Cloud lowered the hand and went to parade rest, much too nervous to go properly at ease. Sephiroth raised an eyebrow, but let it slide. "I'm here to have you go through a second medical, since the one you received upon wakening after your mako shots proved insufficient to determine the exact level of mako in your blood."

"I, uh, pardon?"

The general heaved a small sigh and would have given the diminutive SOLDIER an exasperated look if it had been at all appropriate. "Since you accidentally received more mako than normal, it's appropriate that we ensure that your health has not suffered, as well as calculate the exact concentration of mako in your blood.

"As such, please follow me to the sixty-seventh floor so we can get it over with." And with no further explanation, Sephiroth turned, assured that his subordinate would follow.

"The... the sixty-seventh floor? Isn't that the science department?" The general stopped and looked over his shoulder at the Third, who hadn't moved at all.

"Yes?"

Taking a deep breath, obviously agitated, the new SOLDIER moved his gaze from the huge windows and back to his general. Staring straight into his commander's eyes, the seemingly quite unassuming boy opened his mouth to protest, when it was as though he suddenly remembered that they were in public. He snapped his mouth shut, cast a few furtive looks around before opening it again. "I don't trust the science department."

Sephiroth turned fully, giving close scrutiny to the way his young underling held himself, as if on the verge of curling up or jumping away. Tension was clear in the short frame, but he was perfectly balanced; could probably answer to any threat in the blink of an eye. It was difficult to hide the smirk that wanted to emerge. "Probably a prudent sentiment, given that they're not exactly known for their ethics. However, I assure you I would allow no harm to come to one of my SOLDIERs, which is why I will be present throughout the examination."

Cloud frowned, not entirely happy with that arrangement. It wasn't that he _really_ thought Sephiroth would let the science department run away with him, but on the other hand, he didn't trust him at all. It was one thing, thinking that Sephiroth's dislike for Hojo ran deep enough that the general would disrupt the madman's schemes on principle, it was something quite different to trust it with his own body. And mind.

"Wouldn't it be more appropriate for someone of lower rank to.. accompany me?" _Someone not you_.

"Of course. It's a great honour that _I_ show you such consideration."

Cloud sighed. There was really nothing to be done about it, though. He couldn't very well disobey and, Planet forbid, show disrespect towards Sephiroth when he was surrounded by SOLDIERs whose primary rule of living was 'Respect General Sephiroth'. He might be socially challenged, but even he could see where that would lead. "Then, please, lead the way."

Something that really was bothering him about this entire set-up, though, was why _would_ Sephiroth do this himself? It wasn't like other SOLDIERs didn't have spare time enough to accompany him, whereas the general most likely had an endless amount of paper work he should be doing instead. Besides, Cloud would feel safer with someone else, who had gotten a clear order to make sure nothing untoward happened to him. Zack could have done it and he trusted Zack.

And shouldn't a thing like this be done in a medical facility? And why would Hojo risk an only just raised SOLDIER within his department? What if he was a spy? Wasn't that risky?

They exchanged no words on the way up, both unused to starting casual conversations and both content with silence as Cloud followed Sephiroth, first in the elevator and then up the stairs from floor 59. At least Sephiroth had full access, Cloud mused, darkly amused at the thought the Great General flittering about, searching for keycards on every floor.

Of course, the general could open the entire wall with a single slash of Masamune, so the flittering around looking into random crates, completing random puzzles and answering weird riddles would probably never happen in the first place, but it was a funny thought.

All thoughts of humiliating Sephiroth fled, however, as they stepped onto the science department floor. Already on the landing, the smell of disinfectant had permeated into the walls and the two SOLDIERs, sense of smell already more sensitive than even other SOLDIERs, wrinkled their noses automatically. It was even worse once the door was opened and the smell of long since dead things preserved in foul fluids and recently dead things not preserved and not likely to be preserved, entered their nostrils, but this time, both refrained from showing such obvious discomfort.

Sephiroth led Cloud through the halls and into a lab that looked suspiciously like the one where Aeris once upon a time never had been held. Even the tank where Jenova's headless body had been, would be (_not if I can help it_!), was intact, although it seemed to be holding some sort of monster. A flying eye, or one of its family members, except it was missing most of its limbs and only the movement of the eye denoted it to still be alive. Somewhat.

Cloud quickly turned his gaze away and instead focused on Sephiroth, who, unconcerned with the other scientists, went straight to where Hojo was in the middle of checking the results of one of his underlings.

"Hojo." Sephiroth's deep, authoritative voice cut easily through the general racket in the slightly cramped room. "I brought SOLDIER Third Class, Cloud Strife." It was always funny, Cloud thought, how some people were able to express such utter dislike and scorn with such polite words. Obviously, General Sephiroth had mastered the art.

"Ah, yes, yes, put him on examination table four. I'll be right over." And it was amazing how some people could so obviously make an effort to ignore said dislike and scorn.

A lab assistant came over out of nowhere and directed them over to a steel table situated somewhat towards the back, and suddenly Cloud remembered exactly why he really, really didn't want to be anywhere near that room. It was all well and good to distract himself thinking of other things, more amusing and less serious, but there were restraints attached to the table, and while they probably couldn't really hold him if he was in full health, taking the chance that Hojo could somehow inject something in him to make him less able would be plain stupid.

"No restraints," he managed to force out through gritted teeth. "No restraints, no injections and I am still not allowing Hojo to touch me."

Sephiroth turned, surprised at the all but hissed out words. Cloud Strife wasn't looking back, though, eyes darting around as though he was expecting an attack any moment and he was sweating profusely. A sudden loud noise to his right made his hand twitch, the same way they had done when the SOLDIER had first spotted him down in the lounge, except this time they twitched towards the boy's waist. Maybe he was concealing an unauthorized weapon?

"Do you have a table without restraints?" He asked, rather than having the teen searched in such clearly distressing surroundings. "It seems rather inappropriate to examine an employer of ShinRa," he added, staring the lab technician in the eyes and wondering how long this one would last before he caved.

"I-I'm sorry, general, sir, b-b-but the only tables we have, uhm, like that are being used, for, uh, supplies.. and... such..." He trailed off, cowed at the unblinking stare directed at him.

"Is that so." There wasn't even the trace of a question to detect in the unimpressed tone, and the assistant took a step back and bumped into the table in question.

"Is there a problem here?"

You had to give credit to Hojo for not flinching as both Sephiroth and Cloud turned blazing eyes on him. Not many people could face down two agitated SOLDIERs without shrinking back. But then, Sephiroth wasn't agitated as much as he was just wholly unimpressed.

And, Cloud thought darkly, Sephiroth would probably side with Hojo despite everything, if Cloud attacked without any obvious reasons beyond 'he's freaking creepy'.

"Yes, professor, there is a problem," he ventured, staring the creepy bugger in the eyes. "I am not going anywhere near a table you've set up with restraints." He enunciated each word carefully and kept eye contact to make sure Hojo understood that he was not backing down under any circumstances, even though he frantically wanted to make sure nothing was sneaking up on him from behind,. The mere thought of lying on the table and feeling cold steel surrounding his wrists and ankles, regardless of whether it could actually hold him down or not, was terrifying.

"Don't be silly, they're only there if you should turn violent." _And make his previous threats a reality_, went unsaid, but hung in the air in the dark scowl man directed at Cloud.

Both professor, lab tech, and general noticed how Cloud's already pale face abruptly lost all colour and nostrils flared as he sunk into a defensive posture. Eyes that had been mako bright ever since they entered the laboratory began glowing slightly and his hand inched a little closer to the hilt of his sword.

"SOLDIER!" Sephiroth barked, surprised that the reaction had been so, well, not violent, not _yet_. It was a somewhat unpleasant feeling, thinking that the threat he himself posed was the only thing keeping his underling from releasing hell upon the lab. "Stand down!"

The entire floor stopped working, all staff turning to look at the spectacle happening as the little SOLDIER took a few seconds to answer to the order, slowly composing himself and letting his hand fall down. His posture didn't change much though and the glow of his eyes didn't diminish at all.

"I... apologize."

Sephiroth almost snorted at the insincere apology, but considering the circumstances, it was more than he had expected. "No need. Hojo, I cannot comprehend why my SOLDIER's request cannot be met. It's not like you're gonna perform any invasive or even painful procedures, right? You're just performing a medical examination, to determine Strife's mako-levels... _right_?" If there had been any doubt at all, the slight growl with which Sephiroth uttered the last word made it clear that objection was not an option.

"Yes, yes, of course. However since the spe-subject suffers from latrophobia, I thought it safest to have certain security measures ready. Strife has previously knocked out a doctor, who only had the best of intentions, after all."

The taller of the two SOLDIERs cast a dubious look at the fourteen-year-old, wondering if there was any truth to the scientist's claims; were they purely fabricated, grossly exaggerated, or true?

Noticing his scrutiny, Strife shrugged. "I was waking up and Dr. Howe was hovering. I, uh, panicked." He ignored the heat rising to his cheeks. Sometimes, it was simply wiser to expose your weaknesses even if his inner fourteen-year-old was wildly opposed to the idea, but exactly because he looked fourteen, he could afford to show more weakness (was the repkly from his inner twenty-seven-year-old). And since Sephiroth seemed to be more or less on his side in this (although it was probably more in order to one-up the professor than any tender feelings for a newly raised Third), maybe he should start figuring out how he would avoid having the professor anywhere near him during the examination.

"I see," the general commented, turning back to Hojo acknowledging neither the pale pink darkening the Third's fair complexion nor the disrespectful word use. "Then the situation cannot very well be compared, right, Professor? Since Strife won't have to be sedated at any point, we don't have to worry about him being disoriented and losing focus."

It was almost admirable, Cloud thought, the way the general was practically bullying the head of the science department using perfect reason and on-the-surface polite words as his weapons. There was nothing to dress the general down for and even if there had been, Cloud doubted that Hojo would do it in front of a lowly Third, who might spread the word of how Sephiroth had been scolded.

Hojo, after all, had created Sephiroth with the intention of being known for creating the perfect being; a god.

Gods did not get scolded.

"If I may?" He interjected, disrupting the staring match going on between the two men. "Aside from the restraints, I also can't.. permit Professor Hojo to conduct the examination." More like tolerate, but permit was much wiser use of words in his present situation.

"How come?"

Cloud turned to face Sephiroth more directly, but not more than he could still keep an eye on Hojo. "The likelihood that I'll panic is way bigger up here, surrounded by all this equipment and... stuff." He wrinkled his nose again, clearly denoting what other factors were increasing his unease. "Since the professor is so worried for his health, why not let someone... less important do the tests?" He shot a pointed look at the professor, ensuring that the deranged man knew that he would be sure to panic, should the scientist get too close.

He never made idle threats.

Sephiroth hid a smirk, wondering how long it had taken the little SOLDIER to think up such a subtle threat. The little SOLDIER had, if not exactly a flare for subtlety, he thought, then at least abilities. No one had ever accused his SOLDIERs of being manipulative. Himself, sure, often even, but never his SOLDIERs. The only SOLDIERs to ever truly move in the political circles of ShinRa besides himself were Angeal and Genesis. Angeal cared nothing for politics and was more often than not brutally honest, regardless of the consequences to himself and others and Genesis felt nothing but disdain for the less-than-subtle kissing-up going on among ShinRa's executives and had on several occasions been very vocal about just that.

This Cloud Strife might be teachable.

Then again, even if he could, there was no saying that the child would be on his side considering the wholly untrusting attitude with which he had been greeted in the lounge. Which was strange, because Sephiroth had never met a SOLDIER, who wasn't unquestionable loyal to him. Even Genesis and Angeal, who were the only SOLDIERs ever to openly question or disagree with him were both loyal when it actually mattered.

Sephiroth didn't even question whether a big enough push could make his two friends betray him; the mere idea seemed laughable.

The lan technicians had managed to remove the restraints and Cloud moved to sit on the cold table after having propped his sword up next to it, but was immediately instructed to lie down and relax.

"Sorry for reminding you," he told the tech in an almost calm tone. "But I'm not exactly comfortable in these surroundings. Relaxing just isn't gonna happen." He did lie down, though, after a look towards Hojo, who was standing two steps away, watching closely but keeping out of range.

Sephiroth moved to stand beside him. Should the doctor try to move closer, he would be ready to restrain him. If Strife did panic, more likely than not there would be casualties and possibly a large amount of equipment damaged, better not to take that risk. A black mark could stay on your record forever and that would interfere with the SOLDIER he wanted out of Strife. Funny, he didn't usually take an interest in shaping his SOLDIERs, rather he let other people to that and then used those he needed.

But then, none had ever been quite as interesting as Strife.

On the table Cloud's pulse was definitely speeding, pounding through his temples as though in an effort to escape the confines of his veins. Cloud kept a surreptitious eye on Hojo, angry with himself, when Sephiroth's move to stand next to the crazy man actually managed to calm him a little bit. It rankled that he couldn't help but trust he man just enough to keep him safe when he _knew_ the general cared nothing for anyone but himself. When he knew how very good the bastard was at manipulation. It would be just like him to make a person trust him only to betray that later when it no longer suited him.

And the illusion that he was safe was playing havoc with his mind, because he _knew_ he wasn't.

And why would such a simple gesture even matter?

"Okay, Mr. Strife, I got what we need, thanks. You can get off now." Cloud wasted no time in getting off the table and getting his sword in hand again. Pure discipline made him stay and wait for Sephiroth before he left the vile place.

"I trust I will have full access to the test results, professor?"

"Yes, of course." Hojo was already turning away, following the tray of blood and tissue samples that they had collected.

"And I trust I will be thoroughly informed of every test you perform and if any samples are discarded or stored, I want to know that as well."

"As you wish," Hojo finally replied after a short pause. Cloud almost snorted. Fat chance the psycho would actually do as he had promised.

"Goodbye then." Sephiroth gave a derisive throw of his head, flinging his fall of silver hair in a dramatic arc as he turned and left, Cloud following closely, glad to finally be able to leave.

Neither one of them opened their mouths until they had descended another two floors, then Cloud ventured to ask a question.

"Do you... Will Professor Hojo really inform you of everything he uses my blood for?"

"No, of course not. However if I don't make demands like these I won't be told anything at all. If you weren't already so wary of them, I would have warned you never to go to the science department alone. They can't be trusted."

"I see." Of course, he knew already. He had first hand knowledge of just how ruthless the science department was, of just how little they cared for the well-being of someone in their hands. Human or not, it made no difference to them.

Probably only President Shinra could make a difference in the Science Department, and that, only because he funded it and could withdraw his money whenever he wanted.

They descended the rest of the way in silence, Sephiroth getting off at the 51st floor rather than the 49th, where Cloud went back to the lounge, albeit he refrained from continuing his pacing, much to the relief of everyone there.

* * *

No ANs this chapter, really. Sorry for the (extremely) long wait, but... you're gonna have to get used to it, unfortunately. I lost my momentum D: Next: Seph rants and the war restarts.


	18. Chapter 17

Thank you, thank you, thank you, _so much_ to all of my wonderful reviewers *_* You know you're awesome and you're what keeps this story going!

Eh, I only read this one through once and very fast at that. It might have a few more mistakes than what I usually do XD

* * *

"He doesn't trust me!"

Angeal startled at the unexpected sound of his friend's voice, but Sephiroth paid him no heed starting to pace in the tight confines of his living room. It wasn't really that he wasn't welcome and Angeal always left his door open when he was home so his friends could walk in whenever they wanted, it was just that he wasn't quit prepared to face any of them yet. It was his luck that Sephiroth was so agitated he didn't notice how spooked his friend was.

"I don't understand it," Sephiroth continued. Angeal blinked, realising he had been standing still and just staring for the last three seconds. Shaking himself out of his stupor, he turned back to the kitchen counter to chop carrots. "I've never met a SOLDIER, who wasn't unquestionably loyal to me. Hasn't he heard the stories? Doesn't he _know_ who I am?" Angeal hid an amused smile, despite his trepidation. Whoever Sephiroth was talking about and he had a fair guess who that was, had just shown the general what it was like to be human. What it was like to not earn friendship and trust on merit of his reputation alone. It might even be a healthy experience for the somewhat socially stunted man.

Unaware of Angeal's thought-process, Sephiroth ranted on. "I've never even met the kid until he got into SOLDIER, so it can hardly be something I've done!" He paused, taking a few agitated breaths. He didn't usually lose his temper and only ever when he was with Angeal or Genesis or when he was alone. Losing his temper anywhere where Hojo might see what agitated him was just not going to happen, hence why he had calmly finished work in his office, stacked the paperwork neatly and calmly made his way to Angeal's quarters before he allowed himself to vent. "The single most interesting SOLDIER since you and Genesis joined, and he actually _distrusts_ me." It hadn't bothered him much at first, but the more his thoughts lingered on Strife's reaction to him, the more... disturbing it seemed to him. Disturbing and just plain wrong.

"I guess you're just gonna have to do it the old-fashioned way," Angeal commented, frowning slightly. It was strange how agitated Sephiroth seemed over such a small matter. Had he really never met a SOLDIER who didn't trust him wholeheartedly from the start?

"The old-fashioned way?"

"You know, how other people gain friends? By spending time with them and showing that they're trustworthy." Sephiroth's eyebrows wrinkled, as though Angeal had just given him a particularly difficult puzzle.

"But I can't just spend time with someone I don't know and besides, he's only a Third. It would be... unfair to show him such attention."

"Hm, yeah, you may be right. You gonna ignore it then?"

"Well..."

"The war is about to start up again. The rainy season is just about over and we can move again. You _could_ arrange for Strife to be assigned together with you. It is Strife we're talking about, right?" Sephiroth nodded. "By now, the entire city must've heard of his prowess, no one would find it too strange that you show some interest." _Even if you've never done it with anyone before._

"I suppose that wouldn't be too difficult," the general conceded, already drawing up the necessary paperwork in his mind.

"Mh, are you staying for dinner?"

"Are you making enough?"

"I always make enough, you know that." Sephiroth allowed a rare smile to grace his lips and Angeal responded with a genuine one of his own before a sudden prick of guilt could have made it into a grimace.

"Enough for me too?" Genesis interrupted, luckily causing Sephiroth to turn his head before Angeal's thoughts became apparent.

Sephiroth scoffed, directing a playful glare at the redhead. "With you, it's more a question of whether he's got enough napkins."

"That only happened once and only because a certain tramp put her dirty fingers on me. Or are you saying that you're gonna try your luck?"

"No, no, you don't have to worry. Unlike Scarlet, _I_ have taste."

"If you call it that. Too bad your intended doesn't _trust_ you," Genesis added with a smirk. He hadn't been anticipating to be able to work this comment into their game of bickering this soon. It was a rare treat to be able to one-up the Silver General quite this thoroughly.

"What, Strife?" Sephiroth asked, genuinely taken aback by the insinuation.

"Mmh, you better be quick, half the regiment's eyeing him and the other half's only not doing it because they're taken."

The thought, somehow, seemed laughable. "I can't imagine Strife wasting his time like that."

"You mean if he was with you, he wouldn't be wasting it?"

"Well, that goes without saying," he couldn't help but interject, not that he had ever even contemplated a sexual relationship with the small new SOLDIER. Somehow, the blond's attractiveness had seemed much more... intimate. At the very least to him. "However, what I meant was that I can't see him participating in the meaningless relationships most people seem interested in."

Genesis nodded, agreeing. Part of the reason Sephiroth and Genesis got along so well, despite both being so strong-willed, was that either could manage to concede a point when the other was right. Another was that they both appreciated being told the truth, no matter how unpleasant it may sound, rather than a pretty lie.

In the background, Angeal was finishing up dinner, trying to get his emotions under control. It had been pure luck that Genesis had interfered before he had 'spilled the beans' so to speak. It had been fine, while he had been distracted and the secret he was keeping from his friends hadn't been at the forefront of his mind, but the reminder that Sephiroth _trusted_ him made him realize that he was no longer sure that he was worthy of such trust.

Sephiroth and Genesis had already resumed their banter, now with Sephiroth on the offensive, but Angeal hardly paid them any mind. Not that that was unusual, really, he never participated in their verbal spars, but if any of them realized just how distracted he was, then they were likely to question him on it and he didn't think he would be able to lie to either of them.

Their bickering continued, though, far longer than usual, possibly, probably, because Genesis for a change had found a topic he could truly needle the stoic general with. The silver-haired SOLDIER replied in kind, his lips twitching with amusement but his voice cold with reproof as he asked whether Genesis was hiding something, since he didn't seem able to talk about anything but the latest SOLDIER wonder.

At the end of the evening, Angeal breathed a sigh of relief. Genesis had so persistently been needling Sephiroth over wanting Cloud's trust that neither of the two had spared him much more words than to agree that his cooking was as good as ever.

He might normally have minded, might usually have reacted and forced them to have a more civilized conversation, but tonight he had just been too relieved that none of the heat was on him. He wouldn't be able to keep it up indefinitely, of course, but at least he had made it one night without causing a disaster.

* * *

The cadet quarters were buzzing as usual right after dinner; teenagers running from the mess to their quarters, to the library or one of the training rooms at their disposal. Even hurried as most of them were, they allowed themselves to pause and stare as a SOLDIER Third Class made his way through.

As for the SOLDIER, he resolutely walked first to room 06C, found it empty before he proceeded to the library, which wasn't empty, but the person he was looking for wasn't there either. With a sigh he decided that he might as well do a thorough search now he was here anyway.

He found Adulio in the second training room he looked into, lying face down on one of the benches, training shoulders and neck. It was a rather startling discovery that when he noticed the weight the Latino was training with, his first thought was that that hardly counted as training at all.

He rechecked with his head and realized that Adulio was training with more than he himself would have before he got his shots. That was... a weird thought. And it seemed like the memories of his second childhood were fading.

Cloud reached over his shoulder and fiddled with his sword. Normally, he would feel too self-conscious to reach for his blade every five minutes, but he had noticed that all the other recent SOLDIERs tended to do the same and he desperately needed to get used to reaching over his shoulder again.

After another fifteen lifts, Adulio put the weight down and made ready to change arm when he finally noticed Cloud standing there.

"Cloud!" He exclaimed. It was a measure of exactly how surprised he was, considering that the dark-skinned teenager was usually so calm and composed. The SOLDIER had to hide a smile at his flustered... acquaintance? Friend? "So you really did become a SOLDIER." Adulio, as usual, got his composure back fast, faster than anyone else Cloud knew, save perhaps Vincent. Assuming Vincent even ever lost his composure in the first place.

"I guess," the blond answered, uncomfortable and for the first time since his promotion feeling like a fourteen-year-old, who had reached a goal ahead of all his peers. At the same time as the feeling filled him with pride, he also felt a smidgeon of guilt, illogical but undeniable.

"Well, congratulations." Adulio smiled and held out his hand, which Cloud took, unconsciously adapting his strength so he wouldn't crush the other's hand, feeling even weirder over getting a _handshake_ from someone who'd been his peer not too long ago.

"Uh. You know, you really don't have to be so formal, Adulio. Really."

Adulio looked at him, eyes widening as though he was surprised that he could speak normally. He gave a weak laugh, before shaking his head ruefully. "I apologize, Cloud, but you're standing here in front of me in your SOLDIER uniform and I suppose it's a bit difficult to ignore."

"Huh." Cloud rolled his shoulders, then reached up behind him and ran a couple of fingers over the hilt of his sword. He was wearing his uniform, as Adulio had pointed out, with both pauldrons but he had foregone the helmet. "I guess you're right." He hadn't really given it all that much thought, assuming they would treat him as usual, since he was still, well, him. Presuming you couldn't see it in his face that he really wasn't. "So how are you doing? Has anything happened while I've been... away?" Preoccupied, more like.

"Not anything of any importance to you. There's been a great deal of talk of you, but that can hardly be considered as new. Or surprising for that matter. The instructors has become a bit more aggressive after you guys were taken and there were a few more drop-outs this year than usual, I've heard, but that can't be surprising either, so everything is as usual."

Cloud grinned. "Yeah. I don't know why I expected anything to be different, either. It just feels like the world's been upended, you know?"

"You certainly are more talkative than before. I would never have expected you to come seek me out like this."

"Hmm, no I guess I'm not really the type, am I?" He let a smile steal over his features, so Adulio wouldn't think he minded being thought of as anti-social. It was the truth, why deny it?

"So how does it feel to be a SOLDIER?"

"Uh. I don't know. I haven't been on any missions yet, and they won't likely put me on any until I've had my second check-up, to ensure nothing went wrong after I had my shots."

"Really? When is that?"

"Another few days."

"And, pardon me for asking, but what are you supposed to do until then?"

"Get used to my enhancements. Train, practise." The simulation room was practically reserved for the new Thirds, these days. And when they weren't in the simulation room, they were in the gym, testing out limits of strength and endurance both.

"I see."

"I don't suppose our old friend, Carman, has dropped out yet?"

Adulio snorted. "Not likely to happen, is it? He seems determined to prove that SOLDIERs are all brawn and no brain, but unless I miss my guess, even our sword instructor is losing hope in him. Sparing against him is decidedly simple; he lacks... creativity. He relies on brute force alone." Adulio didn't say that he was getting worse. The idiot had clearly become stubborn about the matter.

"Heh, no surprise there. Wanna try sparing against me?" The smirk accompanying his words warned Adulio that that was probably not such a good idea.

"I must decline your offer, gracious as it may be," he answered, smiling lopsidedly. "As good an experience as it might turn out to be, I would hate to end up in a hospital bed because you spent the time you were supposed to use to get accustomed to your strength to pay social visits to lowly cadets."

It was rare indeed that Adulio gave voice to his exceptionally dry humour, but that only made it all the more amusing when he did. Cloud turned with a low chuckle, heading back towards the exit. "Sorry, Adulio, I gotta go now. It was nice seeing you again." And with that he left.

Adulio, shook his head, chuckling a bit at the abrupt departure, not at all surprised.

Half a second later, though, Cloud poked his head back in through the door. "You know, you'll be a great SOLDIER, Adulio. Catch up," he quipped, before leaving for good.

Adulio stared long after his friend. A compliment like that was rare from the blond. Any compliment, now that he gave it thought. The fact that Cloud had openly declared that he would be a good SOLDIER just like that was bordering on a miracle.

* * *

Cloud spent another five days pretending to get used to his new enhancements. Not that he was pretending per se, he was testing his strength, perhaps even more vigorously than his peers. In short order, he had beaten all of them in any competition they could think of; he was stronger, more enduring and had better control than any of them, but still he pressed himself. His control needed to be perfect and he needed to know the exact limits of his strength and endurance. Even calculating that he could perhaps perform a little better when there was real risk involved, he was still not quite as strong or as fast or as enduring as he had been before he jumped back in time.

He sometimes took himself in completely forgetting his second childhood. When he did, his mood plummeted and he would snarl at anyone daring to approach him, even Zack, if he bothered to answer at all. It felt a little like betraying his mother again, forgetting her and all she had done for him even though he could hardly have been the easiest child to raise. He didn't understand why the memories before he was sent back was so strong. It was almost as though they were pushing the new ones away, and now only certain key-points remained. He remembered waking when he was five, finding his mother again, he remembered Tifa crying into his shirt after he had saved her on the bridge and the catastrophic fight with Wel, Dan and Meiday that had resulted in being banned from playing with Tifa forever. He remembered deciding to get into SOLDIER and he remembered his meeting with Zack. He remembered Patrick and Martin and... people, but for the life of him, any situation involving them was dim at best. Instead he easily remembered Marlene's long list of favourite foods, Denzel beaming as he helped unloading Fenrir after one of Cloud's longer deliveries. Tifa's endless smile. He remembered a million little situations with his family, things he had held precious when he still had them and things he still held precious for all that. But they were pushing newer memories away.

It was nerve racking and it made him feel guilty like nothing else. He knew he had sparred with Zack any number of times in the past few months, but he could only remember one or two situations where it actually happened, he knew he had spent hours upon hours upon hours with Adulio, labouring over homework or training in hand-to-hand. He visited Adulio twice more, just seeing how he was doing an trying to spark his memory, to force it back so he could remember being a cadet.

He avoided Zack. Or tried to, without being too obvious. It was difficult, facing the Second Class, when you knew what awaited, what might await him in the future. When you saw his face, older, and bloodied, dying, superimposed over the happy, ignorant sixteen-year-old. It made Cloud feel fifty rather than twenty-seven. Or fourteen for that matter.

Another thing that was bugging him was the fact that Angeal had told him, with excellent logic to back him up, that they couldn't move too fast or be too aggressive or they would be found out. They had to be careful, move slowly and be on their guard always. Even if Cloud suspected that part of the reason why Angeal wanted them to go slowly was so he had less to hide from his friends, it didn't make it any less true that a wrong step would bring disaster.

Cloud might even have been willing to risk it, if it had only been his own hide in the bargain, but it was also Angeal's. And Zack's. He didn't think his village (his mother! Tifa!) was in danger yet, but even the thought that failure now meant they would be sacrificed eventually was enough to curdle his stomach until he thought he might be sick.

His peers quickly learned to recognize when he was in one of his moods and even quicker learned not to try him when he was. One had tried to challenge him, while he had been trying to just not bother anyone with his foul temper, trying not to think about how little was being done to prevent what was going to happen eventually. The guy had not been on his team while on the preSOLDIER mission and apparently took the talk of Zack's defeat as grossly exaggerated.

By the time the guy had proven himself sufficiently annoying to provoke Cloud into fighting him, the blond had been ready to grind silver spoons to dust. With his teeth. Needless to say, the fight had been very short and very, very effective in dissuading anyone else in their little group of new SOLDIERs from provoking him.

The final medical check was clearly only following procedure for the sake of it, a mere formality at least for him. They tested his reflexes with some kind of hyper-sensitive electronic apparatus. They didn't tell him the numbers and even if he had, he would probably not have understood exactly what they signified. They looked impressed though.

When he had been thoroughly poked and prodded, half of it, he suspected, just because they enjoyed it, they signed the paper that gave him up for active duty and clicked a few buttons on the computer. No one cared to explain to him why he needed the paper when they had done it electronically, but sometimes the ShinRa Corporation could be such sticklers for bureaucracy and form it was a wonder they ever got anything done.

The morning after, he was deployed.

* * *

Cloud shifted uncomfortably. He really didn't know what to think. On one hand, he knew that with his abilities and enhancements, he was considerably superior to most of the other SOLDIERs, so his current position was maybe not quite that surprising, but on the other hand being picked out by Sephiroth himself made him feel like the general was on to him and that fed his burgeoning paranoia. In short, he was tense, jumpy and slightly nauseous.

To top it all off, he was in an aircraft carrier on his way to participate in the Wutai War. Joy.

Around him were a few Firsts and Seconds, ten in all including him, but no other Thirds. They would have back-up from a platoon of thirty regular army grunts, however the way the other SOLDIERs were speaking, the regular soldiers were more there as cannon fodder and to provide ready hands for menial labour. A sentiment Clod found rather arrogant, distantly remembering his own life as a trooper.

Sephiroth, sitting next to him on his left since he was officially here as the general's 'personal aide', didn't call anyone on their cruel jibes, but neither did he participate. At least the regular troops were being transported in another carrier, so they didn't have to listen to these crude comments.

He might have said something himself, but the air was thick with the smell of sweat and Cloud could hear the elevated heartbeat of the First sitting to his right. If making idiotic jokes to bolster the confidence in their superiority made them feel better, then he could hold his peace.

Cloud had at first been a little puzzled that they were entering with such a, well, small group, until he remembered that even just this amount of SOLDIERs counted for a veritable army and that they were fighting in Wutai, where the land was rocky and uneven, covered in lush forests, and that the Wutaians were using guerilla tactics. An army moved slowly, especially in terrain such as that on the Wutai Islands, it required a longer chain of command and regular provisions, and it made for a much too easy target for hit-and-run type ambushes.

This small group wouldn't fall to complacency, would be able to move relatively quickly without being too visible, and would be able to change direction or tactic in a matter of seconds.

It was almost like SOLDIER was made to counter guerilla tactics.

Huh, how long had plans to find the Promised Land been in the works, anyway? Maybe that would be worth looking into some time. Some time when he was not sitting in a helicopter on his way to slaughter people intent on protecting their land.

Holding in a sigh, he finally allowed himself to contemplate whether he could bring himself to kill the Wutaians. On one hand, he had killed plenty of times in the past, future, whichever, and while he wasn't a mindless killer, he could hardly claim that taking a human life bothered him any more. On the other hand, he really wasn't a mindless killer and the Wutaians were only protecting their lands after they had been attacked for no good reason whatsoever.

Could he seriously justify killing them just so he could keep his cover?

Yet he knew that he would follow his orders. The Wutaians would lose the war, regardless of his efforts, and once he had destroyed ShinRa, the country would regain independence.

It was a shame, though. He liked Lord Godoh, and the loss of life was regrettable.

They touched down in a small clearing as planned, two minutes before their backup. Three Seconds immediately left through the tail end to check and secure the perimeter, since they had landed in the middle of the long peninsula where Wutai City was situated, far from the bases ShinRa held.

ShinRa already held Wutai City of course and quite a few forts around the island, but unless Lord Godoh and his main forces were caught, it would make little difference. The civilians didn't resist, but neither did they really acknowledge ShinRa as rulers, they just went about their lives as though ShinRa troops' presence were nothing more than a mild annoyance. No matter what, you had to admire pride like that.

Godoh himself held few forts by now, and he seemed always to move between them, never staying anywhere long enough for any useful intel to get back to ShinRa in time, but until he either gave up or his forces were eradicated, ShinRa would be unable to bring in construction workers to build a reactor.

Cloud spend a few seconds, as he disembarked and got a good look at the dense jungle, shadowy in the midday sun, regretting that he didn't listen to Yuffie and her many, _many_ While Wutai Was at War stories. There must have been something to learn in those, even fraud with exaggerations and pure imagination, there had had to be some truth to them.

Then again, it was Yuffie. In the only story he had halfway listened to, she claimed to have beaten a SOLDIER in a one-on-one duel. At the age of nine. Right.

The three SOLDIER scouts returned, reporting all clear, and the forty men set out. They marched until the sun set, half the SOLDIERs free with their luggage carried by the other half. Ninjas were fast. They struck fast and they left fast. To catch them on their home turf, it was definitely advantageous to have freedom of movement and even SOLDIERs took advantages where they could. At the end of the day, they had marched close to twenty miles and not even glimpsed the shadow of a ninja.

Cloud carried his own and Sephiroth's belongings, not that it was particularly heavy. They were both light packers and Cloud knew his modifications made him able to carry something close to three times his own weight for pretty extended periods of time. Sephiroth had told him in an even tone that he, himself, would be carrying the pack the following day, something Cloud found weird, considering that he was the general, but not unwelcome.

Once the day ended, all the other SOLDIERs dropped their packs and spread out into the undergrowth in pairs, clearly used to the routine. Cloud cast a questioning look at Sephiroth, but the minute shake of his head made him simply drop his pack and search for something he could help with while Sephiroth merely supervised.

Setting up camp didn't take long, the infantry were all veterans, and had tents up in record time. Low tents, covered in camouflaging nets, as though they were actually trying not to be noticed.

There was no way, though, that the trail of forty men trampling through the undergrowth, no matter how careful they were, could be masked from ninja trackers. They were here to find some secret hide-away, Godoh appeared to have, somewhere in the region. A fort that could not be detected by flying over it, suggesting it was underground and considering the vastness of the area it could be placed, they hadn't a chance of finding it unless they were led to it. The plan was to let themselves be ambushed and then following the ninjas' trail back to base. If they could follow it.

The plan Cloud thought, was quite simple, but it depended heavily on the ninja that ambushed them. And whether they could believably wound the ninja enough to make them clumsy and subsequently leaving a trail, and whether the wounded ninja would run back to base at all.

It wasn't reliable at all, but the only other alternative was to simply trek the area until they just so happened to stumble on the entrance. And ShinRa couldn't afford that Godoh had bases like this where he could hide his main forces, a place where the SOLDIERs couldn't reach him.

So they gambled and they hoped.

The SOLDIERs came back shortly, all reporting no sign of enemies. They ate, set guards with at least one SOLDIER at each watch and went to sleep, SOLDIERs simply rolled up in their sleeping bags while the regular soldiers took to the tents.

It was a little funny to see the general braid his hair up before going to bed and it was more than a little disconcerting to realize that in the limited space inside the camp, they slept close enough together that he could _smell_ the older man. Or, wait, how old was Sephiroth at this time? Mid-twenties? That would make him a younger man, wouldn't it?

With a sigh, Cloud resolved that he would have to get used to thinking of himself at being fourteen, not twenty-seven. Older man it was.

Night, too, was uneventful. They weren't even bothered by the few monsters who had tried ambushing their scouts during the day, evidence, if any, of what ShinRa's reactors were causing on the mainlands, considering how many monsters had ambushed Cloud and his party on their test-run to Midgar.

In the morning, Sephiroth's hair was slightly wavy from the braid for all of ten minutes before its own weight had pulled it straight again. It was also remarkably free of twigs, leaves, insects and any other stuff that had magically found its way into Cloud's own spikes while he slept and while a casual finger-brushing got rid of most of it, it was still amazing how the general could just avoid it altogether.

They ate lunch walking, simply taking ration bars out of their packs. Cloud would have suggested hunting if they hadn't been intent on covering as much ground as possible and if there hadn't been forty mouths to feed. They'd have to down a cow to feed them all. Well, maybe a deer would do, but they would still need time to track and hunt and Cloud might be able to run the animal to the ground, but he wasn't counting on anyone else to. Except maybe Sephiroth but the thought of Sephiroth hunting was just a touch too sinister to bear contemplation.

The ambush hit them just before Cloud finished his second cardboard-tasting energy bar.

The Third had been walking in his own thoughts, only keeping a casual eye on the surrounding greenery trusting the SOLDIER scouts to alert them should anything, or more importantly anyone, come close when a shrill hum hit his ears just before General Sphiroth, walking a few steps behind and to his left clasped a hand to the side of his neck. When he withdrew it, a small blow-dart, its tip covered in blood that dripped off like water rather than drying, was clasped between his fingers.

"We're under attack!" He yelled, unsheathing his sword before even the first syllable was out of his mind. Sephiroth looked at him, a touch of surprise in his eyes, before drawing Masamune and turning to meet the enemy.

When his legs gave out under him, it seemed like for just a second all activity ceased. Sephiroth was down, clearly the poison on the dart was working, and SOLDIERs, those not already out among the trees, and soldiers alike stopping in shock. Luckily, they were too experienced to let the shock immobilize them for more than a second.

Cloud deflected three shuriken aimed at his legs and two bullets aimed at Sephiroth, who by now was down on one hand as well, shaking his head as though to dispel grogginess, clearly though he wasn't succeeding. His eyes were unfocused and even though he held Masamune off the ground, his sword hand was wavering.

Cloud wasted no time checking the general's condition. He couldn't possibly do anything about it, not with what looked like half a dozen ninja moving through the undergrowth and treetops, just waiting for his guard to drop. Where was everyone? Why weren't they closing ranks so they could protect the general, who, if Cloud had heard right since he didn't dare spare a glance behind him, had collapsed completely. He was circling around Sephiroth slowly, continually, eyes roving, every line in his body proclaiming that if anyone wanted to get through him, they would pay dearly for it.

The ninja didn't wait long, he heard the soft whistle of fresh leaves rustling when a ninja jumped from a branch behind him, and had whirled and killed the masked man before the meaning of the sound even consciously registered. The man fell, the tanto he had clearly thought to attack with cut in two from the force of Cloud's slash.

The young Third heard the tell-tale sounds of people stopping and retreating, as the other ninjas intend on him realized that despite his Third Class uniform, he was not to be trifled with.

"To me!" He called, annoyed that he had been left to protect the silver-haired lump of poisoned dead-weight alone. Where was Sephiroth's second? Surely someone had been appointed to give orders and stuff in case the general was incapacitated or just unavailable? Or one of the Firsts in the group had to have the presence of mind to realize that if the ninja had blow-darts that could down he _general_ they had to stay together, because if that was the case then they sure as hell could down the rest of them and they had to be able to guard each other's back.

When the whistling hum of another dart reached his ears, rather than look to dodge it, Cloud simply threw himself down, received a hurtful yet far from crippling bruise across his spine from a protruding root, and was up again before the Wutaians could have realized that he had avoided the projectile. He spotted three ninja nearby, clothed in drab colours that blended easily with the foliage and dead greenery on the forest floor, but decided against hunting them down. He went back to the downed general's side, still guarding.

"To me!" He yelled again, putting more than a bit of snap into the order. "Get your asses down here and protect the general, you idiots!" There was no way to put proper force into such a long sentence, but it didn't take long before the Firsts and Seconds he could see began falling back. A few that he hadn't been able to see appeared as well; regular troops giving long-distance cover for the enhanced SOLDIERs, who protected both themselves and their companions as well they could from shuriken and bullets alike, swords whirling.

When the ninja surrounding Cloud realized that the diminutive kid would have back-up in just a few more seconds, they abandoned caution and came at him all at once. Or maybe they had just used the time until then to coordinate themselves. Four ninja attacked, coming into melee range, while the rest provided a brief hail of shuriken. No blow-darts, luckily enough. Strangely enough.

The seemingly young SOLDIER stepped across Sephiroth, standing astride the limp body. The sword, while far from having the Buster Swords or First Tsuruki's reach, was still enough that he should be able to protect at least the fallen man's most vulnerable parts. And it wasn't like the ninjas were going to start hacking off his feet while Cloud was standing there close by.

Cloud would have attacked first, if not for the fact that he had to protect his fallen commander. He would have attacked and drawn the four of them away anyway, if there had been someone close enough to protect Sephiroth from the ninja, who were currently providing cover. Instead he lunged, quick as a viper, his sword darting in under the guard of one ninja to nick him in the stomach. The ninja wouldn't die all at once, but it would slow him down while Cloud fought the others.

As fast as he stepped forward, he was back in place, whirling to meet the two coming at him from behind. They had seen his lunge as an opportunity to get closer with their kodachi, maybe even to stab him from behind, but they had not been able to count on the experience Cloud had, and the blond had no mercy as he first forced one to let go of his weapon through the sheer force of his chop, then easily skewered the second through his gut and decapitated the first, who had only just had time to reach for a secondary weapon, a one-edged dagger of some sort, before it no longer made any difference. He had barely managed to sidestep three throwing stars while incapacitating those two, and had only succeeded because he had already been moving. Even so, one had cut a long gash down the front of his uniform, nicking his skin twice, and another had lodged itself in the top of his boot.

Even as he whirled again to face the last two ninja, one bleeding steadily from the wound he had caused in his initial lunge, both eyeing him even more warily than they had before, he heard a bullet ricochet off one of his shoulder pauldrons.

Suddenly, six more ninja dropped from the trees and Cloud felt immensely grateful when he finally heard two or three SOLDIERs coming up behind and completing a circle with the fallen general in the middle.

Cloud smirked, when a quick look around confirmed that the rest of the SOLDIERs had done the same; completing a small circle to guard each other's back, the regular troops in the middle, providing cover fire.

The Third Class smirked. And charged.

* * *

TN: I.. I don't know where Genesis and Seph's conversation came from, it just... appeared. I swear, I was gonna hold this strictly het with a dash of Seph being socially awkward and now, suddenly everyone's lusting after Cloud. I swear, no planning! Argh *flails* It's just all the planning on how I imagined SOLDIER functioning in this fic decided that if I was gonna do that then I would -have- to do this as well. It wasn't on purpose! Really! *whimpers* Oh, but there's a reason for it, not just random attraction for little boys XD (oh, ew)


	19. Chapter 18

I gotta figure out a new line break, cause the one I used to use gets deleted when I upload -_-; And I don't much feel like going through uploaded documents every time, editing line breaks in that will be deleted after 60 days _;

Anyways! Wow. A lot of people apparently won't mind at all if I made this yaoi. Huh. No worries, though, you het-lovers out there! It will not happen in this story. The little romance I have planned (oooh, and some will actually happen in this chapter o.o) will be het and I wouldn't know where to put any more.

* * *

Zack kicked dejectedly at a piece of loose concrete lying on the broken asphalt. He had been wandering for a good hour now, at least. He wouldn't even be wandering under the plate if it hadn't been because Angeal seemed so... uptight these days. Uptight, brooding and as moody as any girl PMSing that he had ever met and he had met a fair few.

And Cloud was on a mission in Wutai.

It wasn't that the Second Class resented the teeny SOLDIER, not really, it was just that Sephiroth had never paid any kind of attention to him and while Angeal was more than most of any other new SOLDIER got, it would still have been nice if the general had noticed his existence too. To top it all off, Cloud had been avoiding him the last few days before he had been sent on that mission with the general. Avoiding him, when he wasn't straight out snarling like a cat that had just been dumped in a barrel of icy water.

It would really suck if Cloud decided he didn't want to be his friend any more, just because he was now a SOLDIER and the most talented since Sephiroth to boot.

With a low growl, the SOLDIER gave a proper kick to the small piece of stony waste, and very nearly jumped when it lodged itself into a thin wall of sheet metal fifty feet away. He winced, glad that he was in a practically deserted part of the slums and that no one had gotten hurt because of his sudden fit of rage.

He was also glad that he had lost interest in wandering above plate after the second day of being left to himself. On the plate, there were no deserted areas. Then again, there was also no rubble lying around to be kicked by idle feet. He retreated quickly lest someone living in the hovel of which the metal sheet made up a wall came out to complain. There was no reason to look for trouble, especially not amongst people who would probably only back down with badly concealed ire once they realized what he was. No reason to destroy their home _and_ make them feel helpless.

A few blocks over, or at least what passed for blocks in the quagmire of alleys that made up the slums, Zack slumped down onto an empty crate with a heavy sigh, much more audible than what he would have allowed had he been in his mentor's company. The crate groaned ominously in commiseration (or perhaps from his weight) but held out.

"That sounds serious," an amused voice sounded from behind him. With a start the SOLDIER turned around, surprised that someone had managed to sneak up on him but the sudden movement proved to be too much for his seat and he ended up half twisted around himself on top of a pile of broken boards. Consciously, he made an effort not to think about what else he could be lying on.

The voice giggled, but not maliciously, before a pale, slender hand was presented to him. The hand was attached to an equally slender arm with wrists so thin he had to wonder if he wouldn't break it simply from accepting the obvious offer. Above the arm...

He swallowed, all thoughts of frail wrists blown clean out of his mind. That had got to be the most beautiful set of eyes he had ever seen.

"Are you okay?" The girl asked after a while of him simply staring into her eyes.

"Uhm," he began intelligently before pulling himself together. "Maybe I died and went to Heaven?" he quipped, waggling an eyebrow. She giggled prettily and moved her presented hand directly into his line of vision.

As it turned out, the girl was a lot sturdier than she looked because when he put his hand in hers (her hands were _so small_) she pulled him to his feet if not effortlessly, at least a lot easier than he would have thought.

"Planet, you weigh a ton!" She exclaimed, a smile gracing her face.

There was, of course, a number of ways to respond to such a statement, and it took only a minimum of deliberation to decide on the one that would make her laugh. "Are you saying I'm fat?" he asked, shooting out his hip in a pose of deliberate, female offence. As predicted, she giggled, putting a hand over her mouth. He sighed theatrically and put his hands on his hips, looking down his body, knowing he was nowhere close to fat. "I knew I should have taken that extra hour in the gym." A waggling eyebrow accompanied the statement, taking out any bite if she didn't register his playful tone.

The girl finally gave up, laughing loudly at him. He grinned in response, proud at the accomplishment, silently patting himself on the back for choosing the right answer.

"I'm Zack, by the way, nice to meet you."

"I'm Aeris," she responded, laughter remaining in her eyes, a wide smile revealing perfectly white, perfectly even teeth.

Trying not to stare at her too much, he accompanied her through the slums while she went grocery shopping lest something happened to her. Of course. It had nothing to do with her pleasant company or beautiful eyes or tinkling laugh or her extremely soft-looking hair that almost shimmered like water in every light they passed.

And clearly she was in danger, this being the slums and her being so pretty and all. Even if she had grown up here. She couldn't keep being lucky, surely.

* * *

Leaning against the foot of a small tree since the roots of the bigger trees made leaning annoyingly uncomfortable, Sephiroth surveyed the camp. Or rather, he was studying the third Class he had brought with him under the guise of surveying the camp. The after-effects of the poison was still lingering in his extremities, he thought he might not be able to grip Masamune well enough to be effective, but he was alive and even now the mako in his veins were doing away with the last remnant of weakness.

Strife had done that too. Healed him. The Third had simply gone through his general's supply of materia, found a revive and a heal materia and used both continuously until he was clean. Both had been mastered.

The general spend a few seconds wondering if that made a difference, then discarded the notion. Considering how few novices handled mastered materia, it was impossible to determine with any security.

Regardless, the Third was now using his own restore materia, the only magic he had been provided by the company, on any SOLDIER he got to first. One other SOLDIER, aside from himself, had a restore and since everyone (except Strife, evidently) considered _his_ materia half a step short of holy, that meant only two were healing. The rest were resting. Or waiting to be healed.

In spite of how effective the Third Class was, he was clearly getting frustrated with how many times he had to cast the low-level spell available to him before it actually showed. He had, not exactly in accordance with regulations, started with the regular soldiers most in need of help, healing everyone just enough that they wouldn't bleed to death before he could return before continuing with the SOLDIERs.

Not that Sephiroth had seen that, since he had still been feeling groggy, and he would cut out the tongue of every last man to ever use such a word to describe him, from the intense healing. Igor, however, who had been the other SOLDIER with a restore had. And had told him with a note of _admiration_ of all things in his voice. It was also Igor who had told him how Cloud had saved him from death's door. That was obviously a gross exaggeration, but at least no one had made a huge deal over it.

The reclining First Class had a sinking feeling Strife had something to do with that too, though he couldn't for the life of him imagine how.

The Third patted the back of the now fully healed SOLDIER (and who in the name of all living creatures bothered to fully heal a SOLDIER with such a low-level spell? The kid must had ridiculous amounts of MPs, and how that could happen, there was just no knowing) before moving on, to a guy with a scrape down his bicep. A scrape! Well, it was bleeding still, but the man was a SOLDIER.

It was ridiculous.

Especially when his general, the doubtlessly most important person was still feeling his blood move through his extremities like it was jelly.

Tilting his head, Sephiroth examined that thought. Could it be that he was feeling jealous? Jealous? Of all things! Over the attention of a Third Class? Ridiculous. Genesis was right, he was acting like a lovesick teenager. Well, not _acting_ it, certainly, just thinking like one.

The reclining SOLDIER sighed inconspicuously and decided that he was going to get control over these illogical emotions, find their source and eliminate it.

"Are you feeling better, general?" The object of his obsessions asked suddenly.

The general looked up, calm and collected as ever, as though a SOLDIER being able to near him without him noticing wasn't a shock. It wasn't something he had noticed of the teen before, but even staring right into those tellingly luminous eyes, it was as though no more than regular soldier stood before him. No, it was less! _This must be how it feels to see a ghost_, the shocked man thought, even as he opened his mouth to reply to the question. "I am feeling quite alright, thank you, Strife." He eyed the Third critically. "Any injuries?"

"A few scrapes, sir. Nothing serious." Perfect reply, perfect composure. Still that sense that Strife wasn't really there.

"Do you know the toll?" He would have rather asked one of the senior SOLDIERs, but none seemed to be approaching him. They all seemed to have left the never-occupied spot of Second-In-Command to Strife, an untried SOLDIER and fourteen years old at that. Sephiroth almost shook his head despairingly.

"Twelve regular soldiers dead and two Second Class SOLDIERs, sir. Both fell to the same poison darts that hit you." There wasn't a thread of disdain to be tracked in the teenager's voice for getting hit by a simple blow-dart.

"Thank you," he said graciously, getting up. He stamped down the rage that always hit him when one of his SOLDIERs were taken. It was no use here. "Everyone," he called then, just loud enough to be heard over the entire camp without having to unnecessarily strain his voice. "Bury the dead. We're breaking camp as soon as possible." Wandering over to his stuff, he began re-equipping himself. His hands were still tingling strangely. It would seem that the last traces of poison were not so easy to get rid of, he would have to let Cloud take point. "Strife," he demanded, confident that even if he couldn't really feel the little SOLDIER, he would be by his side. "I need you to take point. Can you make sure the trackers won't be lead into an ambush?"

"Yessir."

There wasn't a thread of insecurity to detect in that reply. The teenager really was eerily perfect. Sephiroth spared about two seconds to wonder if his own superiors had had the same impression from him when he appeared in the field.

* * *

Zack was floating up somewhere under the dark roof of the Midgar plate. No, he wasn't. He was definitely not being constrained by something as gloomy as that! He was free-floating under a clear noon sky, blue like it was back in Gongaga where the air was clean.

Or so it felt.

He admired, once again, the pink ribbon he had bought for Aeris and tied in her hair. It really was as soft as it looked. The hair, that is, though he had made sure the ribbon was one worthy of such a beautiful girl. It matched the pink edging of her blue dress. It matched _her_. It was wonderful. Life was wonderful.

Helplessly, his eyes trailed over the line of colourful, sewed-on blossoms going over one shoulder and trailing towards where he dress hid her cleavage. The teen hastily withdrew his eyes before she caught him staring at that. Not that he didn't like admiring cleavage, but any guy who had talked with two women in his life would know that blatantly staring was not only rude, but a quick method to a stinging slap that would announce to anyone that you had just been busted. Instead, his eyes found hers again, and he realized all over again that he had just found the most beautiful girl in all of Midgar. Not only was she pretty, but she was also smart and compassionate beyond belief.

The best thing of it all was that she seemed to like him. It almost seemed too good to be true.

"So," she asked, her eyes finding his again just as they entered an old play ground that seemed to have been abandoned with the coming of evening. "Ever meet any SOLDIER members?"

Zack's mental gears screeched to a halt. _He_ was in SOLDIER, couldn't she see that? The sword was a pretty good give-away, normally, even if you didn't notice the eyes. Or so he thought. "Maybe," he replied, suddenly wary. Maybe it was just a top-plate, bottom-plate difference? There was probably mercenaries and stuff down here and SOLDIERs couldn't be all that common.

"Do you think that they're happy?"

The SOLDIER stopped, seriously worried now. "What do you mean?" Oh no, he had just almost stammered there. Hopefully, she hadn't caught it. Alarm bells were ringing in his head, calling for immediate, strategic retreat, but he felt rooted to the spot as Aerith, oblivious to his alarm continued.

"Heroes to children, protectors of the peace. But," she continued after a minimal pause. Zack didn't dare interrupt. "They're not normal." She shook her head slightly, as though she was trying to deny what she herself was saying. "They get some kind of special surgery, don't they?" she asked, finally turning to face Zack.

Completely stumped for what was best to say, acutely aware that the process of making SOLDIERs was one of ShinRa's top secrets, that as a SOLDIER it was a Very Bad Idea to divulge any information on the matter and at the same time feeling like his heart was curling in on itself, shrivelling in his chest like a dried fruit, he settled on something suitably neutral and anodyne. "So they say," he commented, throwing one arm out in a half-hearted shrug.

"Normal is best." Zack almost winced. "I think so, at least," Aeris continued. The elegant gesture with which she lifted her hand and had it placed gently against her chest only made it that much more evident to Zack that he really wanted to be with this girl. "Those SOLDIER people are kind of... weird."

"They're," Zack began, for the first time in the conversation actually feeling a little offended. He turned aside, unable to bear looking at her any more and crossed his arms over his chest before continuing, "Weird, huh?"

"And they're... scary." Not facing her anymore, Zack could only guess that she still had that imploring expression in her eyes. "They fight. And they love it." There was a bit more heat in her voice, now, probably because she was really trying to get a positive reaction out of him.

He probably would have given her whatever she was asking for, if her words hadn't stung quite so bad. It's not like he was in SOLDIER just to fight! He wanted to be a hero, that was a worthy goal, right? He wanted to save babies and maidens in distress and all that! So yeah, he liked fighting, the fighting was almost a perk to being a hero, but it wasn't like he just indiscriminately went out and killed people.

It hurt a little more when he realized that Aeris saw the two as one and the same.

The pause after her last statement had stretched a little. It was a bit uncomfortable, but the ball was in his curt and he was just hurt and offended enough to throw caution to the wind. "Actually," he began firmly, "I'm with SOLDIER." He turned back, briefly meeting her eyes as she gasped in shocked and looked away, ashamed.

"I'm sorry," she exclaimed a little breathlessly.

He shrugged, and turned away again. She had probably seen his shrug as much as the hand he had briefly used to wave it away with. What now? He didn't know what to say, should he just forgive her, just like that? He liked her, he really did, but she hadn't just offended him, she had insinuated the same thing about Angeal. And Cloud. The two most decent guys Zack had ever known.

Unable to stand still, especially with the tension humming strongly between them, Zack let his eyes fall, shot a look towards a still-silent Aeris, then reached up to run his gloved hand through his spikes in the vain hope that it would get his thought-process up and running again.

"So pretty." Her voice caught him unawares and he looked up, a bit surprised and pleased when he realized she was looking at him. He recognized a peace-offering when he heard one.

"The face?" he asked, pointing at himself jokingly, not truly believing it.

She shook her her with a negative hum, a smile once again putting an inner light in her eyes. "The eyes!"

"You like them?" The distance between them was closed in just a few steps. "Then take a closer look." He stopped right in front of her, then turned halfway to the side, crossing his arms and looking down at her sideways. "Eyes infused with mako energy, a SOLDIER trademark." He leaned down, staring into her beautiful, beautiful eyes from just a few inches away.

Trying to get a good look into those pools of vivid violet-blue, she didn't realize that she was leaning closer until Zack's lips twitched in the corner of her vision.

"Oh you!" she exclaimed, suddenly realizing exactly how close they were and pushed him away, eliciting an amused laugh.

"Color of the sky, right?"

"Uh-huh," she replied smiling, glad that she had managed to talk him back around. She imagined that was how the sky looked when the sun was setting. "But not scary at all!" The amused twinkle in his eyes was definitely better than the annoyed wrinkle there had been between his eye-brows not too long ago.

"It's true, there's nothing normal about me at all," he admitted at last, reluctantly. "You don't have a problem with that, right, Aeris?" He silently congratulated himself for not sounding strained at all, though the extra cheerfulness may have seemed a bit forced. Hopefully, she didn't notice.

She giggled, turning around. "I was thinking it would be a normal day but then... This guy I met turned out to be a SOLDIER."

"Hey, that's not all that bad!" He protested, suddenly thinking that she really had decided that she didn't like him.

"Mmh," she agreed, turned to give him one of her pretty, dimpled smiles.

Opening his mouth to reply with something witty in response to her teasing, the SOLDIER was interrupted by the ringing of his PHS. There was nothing to it, so he held up his hand to signal for her to wait while he answered.

"Zack," the imperious tone of his mentor sounded through the small hand-held. He was clearly preparing to override any arguments before they started. "Return to the ShinRa building now, we've got a mission."

"Roger," he replied automatically. When the tone from his phone sounded to signal that Angeal had disconnected (without even a goodbye or a see-you!) Zack spared a moment or two just staring at the device. What the hell had crept up Angeal's ass lately? He shuddered at the thought, deciding that he was definitely not going there, because that was just too disturbing for words. Like imagine your parents having s-_not going there_!

He turned back to Aeris, who was patiently waiting for him with the smallest of smiles gracing her features. "I'm sorry but duty calls."

Aeris nodded, accepting. "Well, I guess I should get going then." She waved, already on her way back towards sector five when she suddenly stopped and twisted to look back at a SOLDIER Second Class who still hadn't moved. "Will I... see you again?"

Zack's tongue felt like it almost tripped over itself in his eagerness to reply. "Of course!" How could she think otherwise? He really hoped to see her as soon as possible. He really hoped this mission wouldn't be taking too long. Not that he didn't like completing missions, but he thought he had just found something he liked even better.

"I hope... you feel better."

"Huh?"

"Well, you looked really troubled when I found you."

"Yeah... it'll be fine. It was nothing, really."

* * *

Cloud worried.

It wasn't that something wasn't going according to plan. It wasn't that they were being ambushed left and right or that they had lost the trail or that the people supposed to follow it were bad trackers or taking stupid risks making his job more difficult. It wasn't even that they were rude about being given such a young SOLDIER to take care of them (well, okay, there were two other Firsts with him and when they obeyed his orders everyone automatically followed even if they did give him strange looks in the beginning). It was more that everything was going perfectly. It was _eerie!_ It was not natural! Nothing _ever_ went right for him. Some catastrophe was bound to happen eventually, but until it did, he didn't feel like he could do anything at all to prevent it.

It was nerve-racking.

To make matters worse, the two Firsts kept giving him Looks and he had no idea what they meant, or if it was even Looks at all or if they were just picking up on his agitation.

Trying to ignore, well, _everything_, Cloud kept his eyes on the surroundings, trying to follow the trail the trackers were picking up. He really was impressed; he considered himself a fair tracker, but he was used to tracking animals and while animals moved more natural in forests than most humans, they hardly bothered to cover their tracks.

Ninjas, however, not only moved naturally in the dense forest, they consciously avoided leaving visible tracks and however much a SOLDIERs nose was enhanced, tracking by smell was out of the question.

Even when he asked the trackers to show him what they were picking up, he had had his doubts if they weren't just seeing what they wanted to see until he smelled a small pool of only slightly coagulated blood. With sharper eyes than the master trackers and now knowing what they were looking for, he could follow the trail too, so he kept himself slightly ahead of the small group, moving fast around the track to uncover all possible hiding spots while the Firsts stayed with the men to protect them in case Cloud missed something.

He stopped dead at the entrance to a tight gorge.

Staying under the canopy, keeping as well-hidden as he knew how, he eyed the almost sheer sides to the fissure before him. If the Wutaians really had a secret base in the vicinity, having it somewhere inside this cleft would be a perfect placement; there was no way you could get near from the air, it was much too narrow, and if you came close from the ground...

Cloud shuddered. The cleft sides might look sheer, but they were probably not impossible to climb. The Wutaian's would see anyone approaching long before their enemy even knew they were there and with a minimum of men, the cleft could be defended from a huge force, with the force never seeing who was taking them down.

Hearing the rest of the track team approaching, Cloud left his hiding spot and fell back.

"We've got a problem," he started, stopping them before they got any nearer. He points above the canopy. "You see the cliffs? There's a gorge in them up ahead. What we're searching for it probably in there, but... there's no way we're getting closer than this."

"Why not?" one of the Firsts, Anton, asked curiously.

"Because the Wutaians definitely has sentries on the sides. They'll see us coming miles off and they'll be ready to annihilate us as soon as we're out of sight from the entrance. They might even wait until the others has entered. They probably have plenty of places where they can start a rock fall and we'll all be buried before we even engage them. We need to go back and think about a strategy that'll get us inside the Wutaians' hiding place." Cloud took a deep breath. "If I leave one of you here to keep an eye on things, can I count on you to keep hidden until the rest of us return?"

They both nodded and Cloud asked Anton to sneak forward and find a place to hide where he could keep an eye on the gorge. In the meantime, the rest turned around to intercept the general and the rest, who would be following once the dead was in the ground, before they came close enough to alert the sentries on the cliff walls.

Well, the sentries he _thought_ was on the cliff walls, but with certain disaster looming, he would rather be safe than sorry.

Sephiroth's party seemed to have managed to cover about half the distance, following the guide marks Cloud's party had left to indicate the direction the track was taking them.

The small Third stopped them and quickly explained the problem they were facing to the general.

"As I see it, the biggest problem is that we simply cannot see what they've got on the cliff sides; They'll know exactly what we can do to them, but we'll be going in there blind. I could probably scale the walls, but it's not like I could guarantee to get everything and I know that almost all other SOLDIERs are more used to cities than muntains."

Sephiroth nodded contemplatively. "Are the mountain sides more difficult to climb then the outside of a building?"

Thinking, Cloud shook his head. "I don't think they're more difficult, no, but it is different. A building is completely vertical, but at the same time, the holds tend to be stable, whereas it's difficult to tell whether a stone on a mountain is loose or not."

His assessment was, once again, answered with a contemplative nod.

"You mentioned possible traps, did you see any signs of any?"

"No."

The general refrained from commenting on the lack of honorific. He'd rather concentrate on the interesting parts of the youngster, namely how his thought-process worked. "If you saw no sign of traps, why do you think they're there? And what kind of traps are you imagining?"

"They're there, because anything else would be stupid. If I had to defend such a favourable position, the first thing I would do, would make sure it was even more favourable. And with the gorge so narrow, anything that can be thrown down is almost certain to hit someone. Aside from rocks, boiling oil might be old fashioned, but it might be even more effective on SOLDIERs than rocks, and with us having to go single or double file... we wouldn't stand a chance." A brief pause, and then belatedly, the Third attached the expected honorific.

Sephiroth smirked. "Then I guess I'll be joining you on the cliff side." He didn't show any reaction when the Third's eyes widened in shock, but he did feel smug that he had managed to provoke such a response. For a brief second, the chillingly lack of presence Cloud carried around him like a shroud even lifted a bit. "Between the two of us, we should be able to take both sides of the canyon, right? We'll crawl up on the outside, then when the others move in, we'll use the distraction to find the sentries and move close."

"You'll use the rest of the SOLDIERs as a distraction?"

"The Wutaians won't attack at once. They'll wait until everyone is well into range, so that even if someone escapes the initial attack, they'll have plenty of time to take them down."

Cloud nodded, annoyed for some reason. He had made the exact same conclusion when he had tried predicting what they'd be up against, but why he so desperately wanted Sephiroth to show his lack of compassion, he couldn't imagine.

It took very little time to outline the plan to the other SOLDIERs, so while the regular troops made camp, the seven enhanced men quickly enclosed ooun the canyon, where their quarry was probably hiding. They stepped out of sight while Sephiroth and Cloud sneaked ahead to ask Anton whether he had seen anything.

"Well," Cloud started quietly, staring mournfully at the corpse peaking out from beneath a dense shrubbery. "That answers that. They're definitely here."

The general eyed the Third quizzically. "You can handle this?" he asked, hoping that the raw quality of his subordinate's voice wasn't accompanied with irrational bursts of emotion. Grief could be transformed to rage and channelled on the battlefield, but until they got there it was nothing but a liability. A liability they couldn't afford with Strife playing one of the key-roles in this attack.

"I'm not gonna break down and cry, general. I know I can grieve when we're done." He looked back at the corpse, still five feet away from where they were hiding and so he missed the general's frown. "We can't take him back. They'll be able to see him from up there the way he's lying right now."

"Mh, lets go back, review and then commence attack."

Neither of them noticed the air of equality with which they were addressing each other.

* * *

You may recognize the second scene of Zack and Aeris. I just love it too much XD So brilliant. I mixed it a little between the English and Japanese dub and then just a little bit of what would make it fit the fic better considering they meet "earlier" in this story.


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